words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are there as Chandler enters.]
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
(We see Joey who has puffed up his cheeks and Chandler nonchalantly reaches down and pinches Joeys nose shut. In a few seconds, Joey has to move because hes now forced to actually hold his breath.)
Joey: (To Chandler) Dude! What are yoyou trying to kill me?!
Joey: Hey, what is with the secrecy Phoebe? Huh? And what about this Denise, is she cute?
Joey: Hey Rach, listen I was thinkin uh, Im gonna have an extra room over at my place
Joey: Yeah, why dont you move in with me? Itll be great! We could stay up late, watch movies, and you know about Naked Thursdays right?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey! (To Chandler) Dude, some guy just called for you.
Joey: I dont know! How about, "Thanks for taking the message." Jeez! (Exits.)
Joey: Hey, whats up?
Joey: But youre still moving in together, right? Because my ad came out today. (Shows him the paper.)
Joey: Yeah? I just figured yknow, after living with you itd be an interesting change of pace to have a female roommate, yknow? Someone I can learn from, someone-someone whos different than me. And whats more different than me; a guy whos not 19 than say a girl who is 19? Enh? (Points to his head.) Not just a hat rack my friend!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is interviewing a potential roommate. And yes, shes a female, non-smoker and very non-ugly.]
Joey: (exiting from Chandlers room with the new roommate) Everything on your application looks really goodOhh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out?
Joey: Whoa!! Now look, dont be just blurtin stuff out. I want you to really think about your answers. Okay?
Joey: Oh dont listen to him, hes just some guy who really wants the apartment, but I dont think hes gonna get it.
Joey: That thing was a hazard! (To the potential roommate) Im very safety conscious.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing a new song. Yep, the first new Phoebe song of season six, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are also there.]
Joey: Umm, listen, Ross do you really think this moving in with Rachel is a good idea?
Joey: Yeah well, maybe you should go back! Okay? Rachel moves in, and before you know it youre right where you dont want to be! Back together!
Joey: Thats not gonna work out! Then shes gonna come home all weepy and youll be tellin her, "Oh thats okay. Youll find someone." And then, bamn! She finds you!
Joey: I am telling you Ross, she is definitely gonna fall in love with you again! Now, is that what you want?
Joey: Here she comes. Hold on, Im gonna make your life much easier.
Joey: Or not. Uh, Rach, why dont you just move in with me? (Rachel sighs.)
Ross: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, Joey!
Joey: No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no Its okay, I mean Ilook Rach, I know I scared you off with that whole Naked Thursdays thing, but we dont have to do that!
Joey: Thursdays clearly not good for ya, pick a day!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey has The Potential Roommate back for another interview.]
Joey: (opening the door to The Potential Roommate) Hi!
Joey: Come in. Thanks for comin back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists!
Joey: Okay now, before I make my final decision I uh, I just want to make sure our personalities match. Okay, so I made up a little test. Now, Im gonna say a word and then you say the first thing that comes to mind.
Joey: Okay! Here we go. Pillow.
Joey: Very good! Okay. G.
Joey: Excellent! Okay umm, doggy.
Joey: Ooh, sorry! No-no-no, so close though, butbye-bye! (He ushers her out the door.)
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Joey: A swimmer!
Joey: Peanut butter!
Joey: Sure, what do you want to see?
Joey: Hey man, what's up?
Joey: Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel?
(The guys hotel room. Joeys there. Chandler comes out of the bathroom in a robe.)
Joey: Ah! (Points to door) Huh? (Leaves and slams the door)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
[Scene: Silvercup studios, Joey is taking a shower in Charlton Hestons dressing room. Heston enters the room, Joey panics, and walks over to the shower and confronts Joey about the use of his shower.]
Joey: Hey! You ready to go?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Joey: Wow. Hey look, if it helps, I dont want to feel this way. Honest. I just keep thinking, "Ah, Ill get over this." Yknow? I justIt just keeps gettin harder. I dont, I dont know what to do. Yknow? What do I do?
(Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are carrying a couch through the door)
Joey: Oh, yeah, totally! Thats such a turn-on!
Joey: Hey!
Rachel: Oh, I probably shouldntso I will! (Joey starts making her refill and Rachel notices that rain thing Joey has.) Oh! Wow! Its like its raining!
Joey: You got it!
Joey: Bye-bye!
Joey: Yeah! Because this commercial belongs to me and Mitch!
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: See ya! (Walks out.)
(Joey nods to Chandler, no way!)
Donny: Joey describe these things associated with the United States congress. (Joey goes form looking very confident to looking very shocked the instant the word congress is said) Give me 20 seconds on the clock please. Ready? Go!
(Rachel comes out of the apartment holding a pot. Joey holds in anticipation and Rachel opens it)
Joey: You wanna eat? (Pulls out the twenty) My treat!
Joey: Man, I'm getting pretty tired. You're might have to take over soon.
Joey: Is this movie gonna be my big break?
Joey: Okay, uhh, would you rather be too wet or too dry?
Joey: Yeah. Okay. Ross's treat! Where do you wanna eat?
Joey: (shocked) What?!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are talking to Frank.]
Joey: Do you believe in ghosts, yes or no?
Joey: Dude you said, "No!"
Joey: I don't believe this!
Joey: Not if you're gonna be like this!
Joey: Wh-wh-whats going on? Wh-whats this about L.A.?
Rachel: (entering) Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow.
Joey: Get out!!
Joey: Whoa! Is this porn? What did I do? I mustve hit something on the remote.
Joey: Yeah listen so, I thought I was getting better, so on my way home today I stopped by this guitar store and
Joey: Multi-colored robes! Ooh, and maybe a hat.
Joey: (laughs) You're kidding right?
Joey: What?!
Joey: No!
Joey: Wh-what?! Why?!
Joey: Uh, hang out?! How long?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Fine! Take their advice. No one ever listens to me. When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.
Monica: Joey, what's it like on a movie set, huh? Do you have a dressing room? Do you have a chair with your name on it?
Joey: (on phone from Vegas) Hey Monica, it's Joey!
(Joey gets all happy with himself, while the rest of the gang is less than enthused.)
Joey: Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. (Looks at Phoebe) Right?
[Cut to Joey]
Joey: That's it! Thanks Pheebs!
Phoebe: (to Joey) Ooh, do you want to talk to Chandler?
Chandler: (To Joey) Hey!
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Is that Joey?! (She nods yes) Let me talk to him!
[Cut to Joey]
[Cut to Joey]
Joey: (looking out the window) Hey-hey, check it out! Check it out! Ugly Naked Guy has a naked friend!
[Cut to Joey]
[Cut to Joey]
Joey: Don't come out here!
Joey: OK, listen Ive been on sets before, so let me give you a little advice, alright? Its a show, but were just dancing, OK? Its no big deal. The important thing to remember stay cool.
JOEY: What're you gettin' so bent out of shape for, huh? It's not like we agreed to live together forever. We're not Bert and Ernie.
Ross: (sees Joey) Hey. (walks into the living room) Uh, Chan, can I uh, can I talk to you for a second?
Joey: No! No, Im the minister! All right, look-look, put em both on the phone, Ill marry them right now.
Joey: (entering) Hey, you know our phone's not working?
[Cut to Joey]
Joey: (to the family) Sorry about that. Thanks for waitin'.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is pacing as Joey enters.]
Joey: Somebody was using his head. Hey, let's check out the rest of the place.
JOEY: Isn't it? And it's engraved too, check it out.
Joey: Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Chandler's hair. (To Chandler.) You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?
Joey: So when do we get to meet the guy?
Joey: Hi!
Joey: Okay, and ah, this one here is a Douglas Fir, now its a little more money, but you get a nicer smell.
Joey: What-what are you guys doing here? I thought I told you not to come.
Joey: Hey, y'know Ross, I think I kinda understand why I kinda lost it today.
PHOEBE: [Standing in living room with Chandler and Joey. She pulls a huge bathing suit out of a box] Hey, Mon, what is this?
Joey: Yeah, what-what's going on?
Joey: Aww, there we go.
Chandler: So, Joey on Law & Order, you must be very proud!
Joey: Ooh, so close.
Monica: Hey Joey! Aww, you remembered even though you're a big star!
[Scene: Ben's audition, Carol, Ross, and Ben along with about 10 more families are in a waiting room as Joey enters happily.]
Ross: Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. (Joey has lost interest and is watching the race again.) It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.
Joey: Wait a minute! Why don't I do what that guy did? I'll take this $100 and turn it into $5,000! And then I'll turn that into enough money to get my movie going again!
Joey: Uhhhh.... he's not even wearing a jockstrap!
[Time lapse, they're still on the ride along and Joey is just sniffing his sandwich.]
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, this wooden box keeps sliding out from under the seat. What-what is it?
Joey: Ross! Ross! Ross, listen! Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Rachel or Phoebe?
Joey: Yesterday's pages did not reflect my best work.
Joey: (betting all 100) Let's ride.
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
Joey: My identical hand twin!
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Monica, what're you doin'? This is a poker game. You can't serve food with more than one syllable. It's gotta be like chips, or dip, or pretz...(look of realization)
(Raymond and Joey both eat a spoonful and Joey turns to Raymond and says )
Joey: Pheebs!!