words in movies
[Scene: Rachels Office, Joey is knocking on the door holding a hand over a spot on his shirt.]
Rachel: Hi Joey! What are you doing here?
Joey: Uhh, well Ive got an audition down the street and I spilled sauce all over the front of my shirt. (Removes his hand to reveal a huge sauce stain.) You got an extra one?
Joey: Great. (He doesnt like it.) You got anything thats not Ralph Lauren?
Joey: All right, I guess this will be fine.
Joey: Nothing, why?
Joey: Huh, Rach I got to say its gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
Joey: Really? Cause I could kinda use the money.
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
Joey: Yeah, okay.
Joey: Sure, no problem. (Sees something.) OohHey, donuts!
Joey: Okay. (He grabs a jelly donut, takes a bite, and guess what he spills all over himself. He tries to clean it up and smears it all over the shirt.)
Rachel: Hi Tag! Hey, so did you have fun with uh, with Joey last night?
Rachel: Thats great! Wow man, so Joey mustve really taught you some stuff huh?
Tag: (To her, in the Joey voice) How you doin?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is teaching Chandler how to smile. Chandler is smiling.]
Joey: See? Thats a great smile! Easy. Natural. Now, pretend I have a camera. (Chandler immediately does The Face.) Youre changing it!
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, you wanna know what I do when I take resume shots?
Joey: Okay, firstfirst of all, you want to make it look spontaneous. I look down (Looks down), look down, keep looking down; then I look up. (Looks up and smiles.) See? All right, now you try. Look down (Chandler looks down), youre looking down, keep looking down
Joey: I had a donut. (Chandler nods.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Yeah! That guys all right!
Rachel: Yeah and you had fun teaching him how to be all Joey.
Joey: What?
Joey: Hey well, you cant teach someone to be good with women. Yknow, thats why I never had any luck with Chandler.
Joey: Hey! No-no-no-no, you cant take him away from me! I got a great partner to pick up girls with! Finally!!
Joey: (shocked) What?!
Joey: I know, Monica told me.
Rachel: Yeah. Sure. (Joey nods his head questioningly and Rachel nods no.)
Rachel: (To Joey) So, will you talk to him?
Joey: I dont know Rach.
Joey: One! (Pause.) No ten! You said ten! You cant take that back!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there as Tag enters carrying a bag.]
Tag: Hey Joey, you wanted to talk to me?
Joey: I dont know. You uh, you got something for me?
(He hands Joey the bag and he quickly counts its contents.)
Joey: Ten. Okay. Now Tag theres such a thing as to many women.
Joey: Yeah, for you!
Chandler: Yeah, Joey said I uh, I needed to relax so he gave me an antihistamine.
Tag: Went out with Joey.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there as Monica enters with the local paper that has the engagement picture in it.]
Phoebe: You guys make a very attractive couple. (The camera cuts to a shot of the picture and we see that Monica is posing with Joey instead of Chandler.)
Joey: Yeah, we look great together.
Joey: Yknow, we dont have to imagine.
Joey: Well just see.
Joey: So? Bring the dog back, you're a hero.
Joey: Oh my God! Thats huge! (Hugs him.) Wait a minute, why come I wasnt invited? And who was going to be your best man? Dont say, "Ross." Do not say, "Ross."
Joey: Wow! This looks great!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey and Phoebe are reading a scene from Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Joey: Thank God!
Joey: Ah.
Joey: Ow!
Joey: (incredulous) Why should I help you?!
Joey: Well maybe we just take that one away. (Picks it up and throws it away.)
Joey: Yeah.
Monica: Joey!
Joey: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! We have a winner!
Joey: The fruit roll up.
Joey: Delicious.
Joey: (to the camera) Hello, Im Joey Tribbiani! Lets play Bamboozled! Erin, you get the first question! In hockey, who is known as The Great One?
(Stryker enters, only its not Joey playing him.)
[Scene: The casting directors office, Joey is there to show off to the director, so to speak.]
The Casting Director: Joey, this is awkward part.
Joey: Rach we had to get out of there because, look what I won! (He whips out the award for Best Supporting Actress that he accepted for Jessica.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is sitting on the chair, and theyre all talking.]
Rachel: Joey is says Best Supporting Actress!
Joey: Probably Monica and Chandler.
Rachel: Ugh, it was horrible! And-and the interview part went so well, y'know? I even made him laugh. He said something about a boat and I was like, "Well, yeah! If you've got enough life jackets!" (She starts laughing; Chandler and Joey are not amused.) Trust me, it was actually, it was very funny. Anyway, so we were saying good-bye and ugh!
Joey: (Very discouraged) Okay, is there anything else?
Ross: No, NO! (they're moving to the side of the bed, where they sit down) Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it.
Joey: (excitedly) Wow? Wow what?! Wow what?! Who youwhat?!!
Joey: (excitedly) Who you what? Who you what?!
Joey: What?!
Monica: (To Joey) They were lovers.
Joey: (entering) Hello!
Joey: Hey Rach. (Stares at her.)
Joey: Okay, I wanted to surprise you, but for your house-warming gift, I got you a baby-chick and a baby-duck!
Monica: Joey!
Joey: I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish, Monica. I'm just happy I'm keeping it down, y'know?
Joey: (looking around) You got me. I dont
Joey: Well-wellsee? Parents are comin!
Joey: (leaning down to her) Maybe youll order a little sangria?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Yeah, he did, look... look, it's right there on the counter! Ha-ho-ho!
Joey: Nice move.
Joey: I dont think so.
Joey: We should really learn how to play the real way. (Moves another piece.)
Joey: And I know both of them, theyre really good. One of them is the guy from those allergy commercials whos always getting chased by those big flowers
Phoebe: Joeys!
Joey: Okay
Joey: Hey. (Laughs then seriously) It happened!
Joey: Oh good! Can I tell her?! Can I tell her?!
Joey: (starts singing) I wanna rock and roll all night! (Falls asleep.)
Joey: Why are you taking this away from me?
Joey: Oh-ho, you should get inside my head.
Joey: Hey.
Director: (to Joey) Good job, little buddy. That was some really good French. But I think we're gonna go with someone else for the part.
Joey: Yeah, theyre not coming.
(Joey enters, wearing a mouth guard like boxers wear.)
Joey: Look Mon, if you could just call my mom
Monica: Oh Joey!
(Monica gets up and heads for the bathroom, Chandler turns to watch her go and is startled to see Joey sitting in Monicas seat.)
[Joey and Ross get annoyed with Chandler's outburst.]
Joey: (entering) Hey.
Cecilia: So, the essence of the character is rooted in her confidence. So, when Jessica enters a room for instance, she owns everything and every person in that room. (Joey is nodding.) You try.
Ross: Sure, one year is paper, but two months is lapdance! (Joey nods his agreement.)
Joey: Right. Right. The wedding, gotcha. But I mean, its gonna start a little late right? I mean, weddings start late. Right?
Phoebe: Oh, somewhere Joeys head is exploding.
Joey: You should see the treatment I get when Im with that car! People are friendly; they-they wanna talk, and not just about the car! One guy gave me advice about my equity investments.
JOEY: Get outta here. This is our stop too.
Joey: (entering) Hey! Uh, Monica? Chandler? Can I talk to you guys for a second?
Chandler: The only reason you're doing this to Joey is because you're bored. Okay, it's not his fault that you're unemployed.
Joey: Oh yeah, thats just a little something for my huge gay fan base. (Winks at him.)
Joey: That sounds like another word to me! Are you gonna take this seriously? (Theres no response from Chandler.) Okay.
[Scene: The Roof, Ross and Joey are banging on the door.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still working on the seating chart as Joey enters.]
[Scene: Another hospital room, Joey has now been admitted and his doctor is about to break the bad news to him, Monica, and Chandler.]
Joey: (checks his watch) Damn! (runs out to work)
[Cut back to her room, Joey and Ross are sitting there waiting for her.]
Joey: All right, uh (To Ross) Oh hey, youve done this before Ross, well what did you say when you made up your vows?
Joey: Uh, hey, Rach let me ask you something. Uh, I was just over there talking to Monica and Chandler, boy they are really tight.
Joey: And I got custody of the kid, right? Now suppose the kid dies and-and I gotta buy a new kid.
JOEY: Hey, I'll be alright. I mean it's not like I'm starting from sqare one. I was Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives. Heh? I mean that's gotta have some kind of cache.
Joey: No-no! No, Im accepting it on her behalf. (He puts it up above the TV to display it.)
Chandler: (writes what Joey said and waits for him to go on) Yeah?
Joey: " when I look back over our time together "
Joey: Oh, I got it! How about saying something like, "Monica
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is eating breakfast as Chandler comes out of his bedroom, ripping his coat in the process.]
Joey: Oh. (Takes off the hat.) Sorry!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: (yelling through the door) Can we come it yet?! Were dying out here!
Joey: How is "Monica, I love your sweet ass," inappropriate?
Chandler: Im right! Right? There was like no chemistry between them. Before they had heat, and now theres no heat! Now you know what this means, Joey told us what this means!
Joey: Okay.
Joey: (shocked) Has it been that long?!
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! I just talked to the casting people; they loved you!
(Joey leaves and Monica comes up for air.)
Joey: IN LONDON!!!
Joey: How?! When?!
(Joey thinks it over.)
Joey: All right! Man, this is unbelievable!
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
Joey: Okay, see that blind guy right there? I'm gonna bash his head in later.
Ross: Oh and you know what, it will be even better tomorrow, because I won't be constantly interrupted by Joey checking to see if they put chocolates on my pillow yet. (Someone knocks on the door, Ross goes to open and it's Joey, Rachel and Chandler).