words in movies
[Scene: Rachels Office, Joey is knocking on the door holding a hand over a spot on his shirt.]
Rachel: Hi Joey! What are you doing here?
Joey: Uhh, well Ive got an audition down the street and I spilled sauce all over the front of my shirt. (Removes his hand to reveal a huge sauce stain.) You got an extra one?
Joey: Great. (He doesnt like it.) You got anything thats not Ralph Lauren?
Joey: All right, I guess this will be fine.
Joey: Nothing, why?
Joey: Huh, Rach I got to say its gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
Joey: Really? Cause I could kinda use the money.
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
Joey: Yeah, okay.
Joey: Sure, no problem. (Sees something.) OohHey, donuts!
Joey: Okay. (He grabs a jelly donut, takes a bite, and guess what he spills all over himself. He tries to clean it up and smears it all over the shirt.)
Rachel: Hi Tag! Hey, so did you have fun with uh, with Joey last night?
Rachel: Thats great! Wow man, so Joey mustve really taught you some stuff huh?
Tag: (To her, in the Joey voice) How you doin?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is teaching Chandler how to smile. Chandler is smiling.]
Joey: See? Thats a great smile! Easy. Natural. Now, pretend I have a camera. (Chandler immediately does The Face.) Youre changing it!
Joey: All right, all right, all right, all right, you wanna know what I do when I take resume shots?
Joey: Okay, firstfirst of all, you want to make it look spontaneous. I look down (Looks down), look down, keep looking down; then I look up. (Looks up and smiles.) See? All right, now you try. Look down (Chandler looks down), youre looking down, keep looking down
Joey: I had a donut. (Chandler nods.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Yeah! That guys all right!
Rachel: Yeah and you had fun teaching him how to be all Joey.
Joey: What?
Joey: Hey well, you cant teach someone to be good with women. Yknow, thats why I never had any luck with Chandler.
Joey: Hey! No-no-no-no, you cant take him away from me! I got a great partner to pick up girls with! Finally!!
Joey: (shocked) What?!
Joey: I know, Monica told me.
Rachel: Yeah. Sure. (Joey nods his head questioningly and Rachel nods no.)
Rachel: (To Joey) So, will you talk to him?
Joey: I dont know Rach.
Joey: One! (Pause.) No ten! You said ten! You cant take that back!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there as Tag enters carrying a bag.]
Tag: Hey Joey, you wanted to talk to me?
Joey: I dont know. You uh, you got something for me?
(He hands Joey the bag and he quickly counts its contents.)
Joey: Ten. Okay. Now Tag theres such a thing as to many women.
Joey: Yeah, for you!
Chandler: Yeah, Joey said I uh, I needed to relax so he gave me an antihistamine.
Tag: Went out with Joey.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there as Monica enters with the local paper that has the engagement picture in it.]
Phoebe: You guys make a very attractive couple. (The camera cuts to a shot of the picture and we see that Monica is posing with Joey instead of Chandler.)
Joey: Yeah, we look great together.
Joey: Yknow, we dont have to imagine.
Joey: Well just see.
Joey: Come on man, youre not a potato.
Joey: What?
Joey: No I didnt.
Joey: All right.
Chandler: Oh, umm, Joey was born, and then 28 years later, I was robbed!!
Joey: Yeah, yeah sure, goodnight.
Joey: Come on here, have a seat.
Chandler: Well, I am drinking lots of cups of coffee because Im exhausted! Because Joey started snoring!
(Joey hands her the book and she puts it in the freezer.)
Joey: Well, it looks like it wasnt heeled after all! Yeah! So, I guess this chair is mine now! (Sits down in it and groans.)
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
Joey: What?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are telling Joey, Rachel, and Monica of their bank woes.]
Joey: (To Mr. Treeger) So you ah, ready for our last practice?
Joey: Hey, dont get mad at us! No one forced you to raise the stakes!
Joey: We did it!!
Joey: Look, you wanna use our place?
[They all turn around and look at Joey.]
Joey: Okay.
Joey: (intrigued) Really?
Joey: Oh well, okay, good luck.
Joey: How? I guess I could break down your door.
Joey: Go get em Treeger.
Joey: No, Im good.
Joey: How about zero down and zero a month for a long, long time?
Joey: (sticking his head out the window) Hey, the fights starting!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: I got a big date coming up, do you know a good restaurant?
Chandler: Hey! Hey, hey-hey, hey. (Joey kisses Kathy.)
Joey: (charmed, but then recoiling) NO, NO! It can't happen at all!
Joey: Oh my God! How many of these things did you have? These are pure vodka.
(Joey makes a sound like a creaking bed.)
Joey: The big deal is that it is the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen and its at the perfect angle so you dont get any glare coming of off Stevie.
Joey: (laughs, softly) Yeah, the stripper stole it.
Joey: (on tape) Okay, so say hi to my friend and tell him that you like the hat.
Ross: I know, I know! When I was here for Holidays on Ice (Joey looks around worried hoping no one heard that) I was sitting so far away Michelle Kwan couldn't read my banner!
JOEY: "Oh, Chandler, now, now, that's it. There, faster!"
Joey: You know what I want? I want a lot of things! I want to be with the woman I love on Valentines Day! And I want her to love me back! And I want just one moment of relief from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that thats never going to happen!
Chandler: You had a dream about a girl that I am seeing?! Oh, that is so cool! (To Monica) I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt about a girl that he was seeing. (Seeing Monica's stare.) (To Joey) Anyway we're talking about your dream. (To Monica) I love you. (To Joey) Your dream? (Leans in to listen closely.)
Joey: Yeah, I didnt know you guys were going to be here.
Joey: I dont know. Just uh, just tell em it was a mix-up with the invitations, orNo-no-no! Blame it on the post office. They hate the post office. And the Irish! But I dont think you can blame it on them so (He dials the phone and hands it to Monica.)
The Director: All right, its time to act, my talking props. (Both Joey and Kate just look at each other.)
Joey: Hey.
(Joey and Kathy enter, laughing)
Joey: It's 4:30.
Joey: Yeah! You don't like Kathy.
Joey: All right! Ill try! But if I cant, you can stay with Chandler and I until you get settled.
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Charlton Heston: (tosses him a towel, motions for him to get out of the shower and sits down on the couch) Every actor at one time or anotheropp! (Joey tries to sit down next to him and Heston makes him sit somewhere else.) Every actor thinks he stinks, even Lawrence Oliver at sometimes thought he stank, Bob Redford wont even watch himself.
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
Joey: Is she great or what?
Joey: Kathy was being really nice and you just walked away. I thought we had a deal.
Joey: (to Kathy) I'll be right back. (to Chandler) What was that?
Joey: Well then, do it better!
Chandler: (slides the juice across the counter which Joey catches) What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.
Joey: Hey, no way, that roosters family!
Ross: Anyway, one thing lead to another, and... oh... before you know it, we were kissing. I mean, how angry do you think Joey is gonna be?
Joey: Or ha-ha, we could go over there and pee on them.
Joey: Please dont kick Monica and Rachel out, this wasnt there fault, it was mine.
Chandler: Okay, all right, I'll just uh, make sure that uh, Joey gets her something really great.
(Joey starts wiping lint off of her back, but goes at little too far and Rachel just glares at him. He stops, gives her the okay symbol and walks away.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Why?
[Joey enters]
Joey: You can pee here!
Joey: ...I d'know.
(We go into a flashback sequence with Joey remembering some of those times.)
Joey: Oh, I know...
Joey: Look, we are not gonna
Joey: Fine, fine, so, why don't the four of us go out and have dinner together tonight? You know, as friends?
Chandler: Well, y'know if Joey and I played with matches we could get you up to an even hundred.
Rachel: What did you get her? (Joey opens up a rectangular black box and holds up a pen.)
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you want anything to drink, cause Im heading up there.
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Yeah. And speaking of volcanoes, man are they a violent igneous rock formation.
Joey: So, you just left? Her place was really that bad?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Oooooh!
Joey: Wow. Thanks. So, uh, what happened?
Joey: All right, so... next time, you take her to your place.
Joey: You wanna see her again, right?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: What kind of smell?
Joey: Yeah!
(His dad nods. Cut to later. Joey is chopping mushrooms)
Joey: Look, Ross, I feel really bad. I mean, you're going through all this stuff and I just acted like a jerk.
Joey: All right, listen, Ross... you like this girl, right?
Joey: So you're gonna have to do it in the mess!
CHANDLER and JOEY: Woah, hey, yo. [Rachel and Ross move]
Joey: Our place, the hall! I...
Joey: Uhh, look Katie, uh listen, we-we need to talk. Okay? Umm, look I like you. I-I really do, I like you a lot. Okay? But sometimes when you, when you playfully punch me like that it-it feels like someone's hitting me with a very tiny but very real bat.
Joey: Wow. That's almost as much as a new book.
JOEY: Supposably. Supposably. Did they go to the zoo? Supposably.
Joey: Waiting for my Grandma to finish my laundry. What about you?
Joey: Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it.
Joey: No, no, no, I'm telling ya. Imagine yourself living in a supermarket and you will understand okay? So the question is, what do we do?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh, man, she loved it! She's over there showing Monica and Rachel right now.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is there, Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey!