words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there. Joey is looking at a National Geographic and giggling.]
Joey: No, look. (Shows him the magazine.)
Joey: I know, I know, but look at the knobs on her.
Chandler: Hey! (Joey quickly hides the magazine under the couch.)
Joey: Why?
Joey: Hey, you can stay with us! We'll take care of ya!
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Okay.
(Joey starts giggling.)
(Joey busts out laughing.)
Joey: Ross?
Joey: Not a problem. And listen, hey! Since you're gonna be here for a while, why don'tI was thinking we uh, put your name on the answering machine.
Joey: Hey, all right!
Joey: (To Chandler) You're fake laughing too, right?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is entering. As he closes the door, Joey pokes his head up from a box enclosure built using the 2 chairs.]
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Nothing.
Joey: (smiles) Kinda.
Joey: Dude, you should've gone out once and a while.
Joey: Come on, Chandler, Ross is our friend. He needs us right now, so why don't you be a grown up and come and watch some TV in the fort!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Ross is working on his computer and Joey is making a lot of noise.]
Ross: (glaring at him) Joey, please! (Motions to his computer.)
Joey: Sorry.
(Joey starts playing with a toy alligator and has it attack him.)
Joey: Ahhhhhhhhhh
Joey: Hey! Wanna play some foosball? Please?
Joey: No-no, no! We have to move the table into my room, yeah! 'Cause of all the boxes. Come on!
Joey: All right, I have one question. What is the deal with this? (Imitates Ross's 'quiet down' maneuver, but does move his hands up and down he just flaps his hands as if he's waving good-bye.)
Chandler: Bye-bye little puppet Joey hand?
Joey: No, the quiet down thing!
Joey: Um-hmm! Look, I-I-I don't know how much more of this I can take! Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with some show about bugs! My God! What if that had been porn?
Joey: All right, I guess I can hold out a little longer. Let's have a game.
Joey: YES!!
Joey: Um-hmm.
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: You guys got anything to eat? I just went down to Johnos for some chicken and it was closed!
Joey: Pheebs, if this guy keeps closing down all of our favorite places, where are we gonna eat?!
Joey: Umm, yum!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are there. Chandler and Joey are looking through the paper.]
Joey: Mine! (He grabs it.)
Joey: Oh that's mine too! (Grabs it and Ross looks at him.) I'm Italian!
Joey: But it's available now! Isn't it?
Joey: Hey, let's go look at it! (They both jump up.)
Joey: Okay!
Joey: Yeah!
[Scene: The apartment in the listing, the guys are checking it out. There's one problem though, it's roughly the size of this computer screen. As they enter Joey lets out a whistle.]
Joey: Somebody was using his head. Hey, let's check out the rest of the place.
Joey: But hey, Ross, this place is available now!
Joey: Yeah.
Ross: (To Joey) So, you-you think I should go ahead and take this place?
Joey: Oh, it's perfect!
Joey: He knew we were trying to get rid of him. He knew! (Pause.) You think we could get a bathtub in our kitchen?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are lamenting about how they kicked Ross out.]
Joey: Maybe, maybe we did a good thing, helping Ross get back on his feet!
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: I don't know. Maybe pizza?
Joey: Oh! Oh!
(The phone rings and Joey answers it.)
Joey: Hello! (Listens.) Oh yeah! (To Chandler) It's the apartment manager; Ross put us down as references. (To the apartment manager.) Ross is the greatest guy you'll ever meet! Yeah, he's very reliable.
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
(Joey motions, "Now, that's thinking!")
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross still has boxes all over the place. Joey is wearing a football helmet, and Chandler is spinning him around in one of the chairs and counting.]
Joey: (getting up) Dude, I'm telling ya! I'm fine! (He tries to take a step and falls flat on his face.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: You're kidding!
Joey: But you can't stay with Phoebe, Ross! We're-we're roomies!
Joey: Well, we got plenty of space! There-there's still some over there (Points to where the window is but sees that there isn't any space there and points towards his door.) by-by that speaker. Please, just stay!
Joey: Definitely!
Joey: All right!
(Chandler and Joey smile, but when Ross turns away look at each other with looks of horror.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Chandler is entering and when he closes the door Joey pops his head out of the fort like before, but this time he's wearing a cowboy hat.]
Ross: (popping up behind Joey wearing an Indian headdress) Come on, it's fun!
Joey: Dude, stop talking crazy and make us some tea!
Joey: Oh, no thanks, I got it. (picks it up) No I dont!
[Scene: the hallway, Joey is moving in, Monica is leaving.]
Rachel: What are you talking about? I love them! (Looks into the cage) Yeah, I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it-it died, because my cat ate it. And then, then my cat died. But Joey, isn't this cool?
Joey: Gotcha.
Joey: Oh right, right.
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Joey: Uh, take a look at the guys pants! I mean, I know you told us to show excitement, but dont you think he went a little overboard?
Ross: I don't know, I'm one sorry polentologist. (Stops reading.) All right Joey, we get it. (To Chandler) I'm sorry.
Joey: Uhh, Ms. Phalange, may I ask you a question as an impartial person at-at this table?
Joey: Lifeguards.
Joey: Baywatch.
Joey: (whispering) No, I really have to pee.
ROSS: Over my dead body! (Joey looks at Chandler)
[Scene: The museum, Joey is giving a tour to a bunch of school kids.]
Joey: Cool!!
[Flashback to: The Street in front of Central Perk, Ross and Joey are holding a yellow tape across the road and everyone is cheering Phoebe as she bounces around the corner on a hippity-hop.]
JOEY: Huh? So whaddya think? Casa de Joey. Huh? I decorated it myself.
Joey: (confused) Are we watchin the tape or not?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are there as Rachel enters and sees Joey sitting there.]
Joey: No, no, no, don't say "listen." I know that "listen." I've said that "listen."
JOEY: Closed set. We know but we're friends with the monkey. [guard lets them in]
Joey: Guess what?
Joey: Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking...
Joey: You said, you wanna come in for some lemonade?
Joey: I got a gig!
Joey: (glares at him) I know!
Joey: Come on man, you know Id do it for you! Because, youre my best friend.
Joey: Hi!
JOEY: Yaaahhh. Ahhh, candles. What'dya thinks gonna happen here tonight?
Joey: Come on man! You've been here all day!
Joey: No.
Joey: Hey now!
Joey: Ahh!
Joey: You want me to lie to Chandler?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Okay, great.
Rachel: Well, Joey probably thinks Ill just embarrass him. Yknow, he thinks Im some kind of a soap opera nutWhich Im not! Im not. Although I do know that your uh, your favorite ice cream flavor is butter pecan. (Starts stroking his arm) And uh, and that your-your dogs name is Wally. Well look at that, Im just stroking your arm.
Joey: All right. I cant see.
Joey: Hey, youre ah, pretty good at this.
Joey: I swear to god, Dad. That's not how they measure pants.
Ross: Oh, we were helping Chandler write his vows, but he kicked us out because Joey kept making inappropriate suggestions.
Phoebe: (entering) Helloo! Oh! (sees Joey and starts to leave)
Joey: (heartbroken) I understand.
Joey: Because its faster.
Joey: I had the same dream!
Rachel: (To Joey) I cant believe that you yelled at my boss! Im-Im gonna lose my job! What am I going to do?!
Joey: Hey-hey.
Joey: You bet! Whats the part?
Joey: (proud) I know, but, I made a huge mistake. I never should have broken up with her. Will you help me? Please?
Joey: (smiling) Now let's not ruin this day. You worked so hard. Let's move past this and try to have a nice meal all together, huh?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are watching Three's Company.]
Joey: Yeah, I mean its never taken me a week to get over a relationship.
Joey: Whoa. That was really good.
Joey: This is where I keep the pizza. (Its the same location as before.) AndHey! Where did the napkin go?! (The napkin is not in its spot.)
JOEY: Yeah. Uh, oh, OH, the best part, c'mon. [leads them to the bathroom, gestures towards toilet, everyone stares, uncomprehending] Heh?
Joey: Sure I do! Its a verb! As in, "I behalfin it!"
Joey: Come on Ross, be a good guy. Step up and do it!
MONICA: Rachel, it's a world where Joey is a neuro-surgeon.
Joey: All right, Jester man, look we wanna see the king.
Joey: Did you see the size of the closets?!
Joey: Well, I was thinking about that and I, I think the best way would be, to not.
(Joey gets the evil look on his face.)
Joey: Itll kill him. I mean itll, itll just kill him.
Joey: (entering with Monica) Hey, is, is, is Chandler here?
Joey: What did they do?
Joey: Hey-hey, Ross?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Joey is making marinara sauce and filling every container in sight. Chandler enters.]
Joey: Oh God. Uh, okay, heres the thing, this is the thing, okay, the thing is...
(Joey fakes a scream.)
Joey: They were in his office.
Joey: Whoa, ah!! Were you just gonna give me some lemonade?
Joey: Im telling you man, I saw it.
JOEY: Hey, is that when you wrote salt water taffy man?
(They all cheer and Rachel, Ross and Phoebe join in for a group hug. Joey also joins, but he stands back a bit, because he is all sticky of the food on him)
Joey: Cute! This is Janice! You remember Janice?
JOEY: That was a good one. For a second there, I was like, "whoa."
Chandler: Joey told me, he saw you two kissing.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey are there.]
Joey: You said number two.
Joey: Uh.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Joey, Phoebe, and Chandler are looking through Monica's high school yearbook]
Joey: I know. (giggles harder)
Joey: Well, now we got a reason.
Joey: Hey uh, whats a matter?
Tour Guide: Maybe its crazy in a perfect world, a world without lab coats and blazers, but you not in a perfect world, you in a museum now. See that scientist in the classes, he and I used to play together all the time in grade school, but now (Turns around) Peter! Hey, Peter! Its me Rhonda! From PS-129! I shared my puddin which you man! I gave you my Snack Pack! (to Joey) See, he pretend he dont even here me!
Joey: What are you ah, what are you gonna do?
Joey: Yeah, she said you looked like Ingrid Bergman that day.
(Chandler and Monica enter from their room and Joey quickly hides the bag of potato chips behind his back.)
Joey: Hey-hey, Im not judging.
Erin: Okay. (Joey goes to get some coffee and Erin sits down.)
Joey: Just because she went to Yale drama, she thinks shes like the greatest actress since, since, sliced bread!
JOEY: Uh, uh, we'll flip for it. Ducks or clowns.
Katie: Oh, thanks! That's so sweet! (She punches Rachel like she punched Joey.)
Joey: Okay, retract the device, retract the device.
Joey: Hey, thats never gonna make it all the way over here, buddy!
[Scene: Classroom, Joey is lecturing on facial expressions.]
[Scene: Back at the restroom at Marcel's. Chandler is still in the stall, Joey comes in to go to the bathroom.]
(Joey turns around and sees his face on a poster in the subway. The poster says: What Mario isn't telling you...V.D., you never know who might have it. A variety of scenes are shown with the poster displayed all over New York City.)
Joey: Ive got a science question.
Joey: Says who? Your mom?