words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are there. Joey is looking at a National Geographic and giggling.]
Joey: No, look. (Shows him the magazine.)
Joey: I know, I know, but look at the knobs on her.
Chandler: Hey! (Joey quickly hides the magazine under the couch.)
Joey: Why?
Joey: Hey, you can stay with us! We'll take care of ya!
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Okay.
(Joey starts giggling.)
(Joey busts out laughing.)
Joey: Ross?
Joey: Not a problem. And listen, hey! Since you're gonna be here for a while, why don'tI was thinking we uh, put your name on the answering machine.
Joey: Hey, all right!
Joey: (To Chandler) You're fake laughing too, right?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is entering. As he closes the door, Joey pokes his head up from a box enclosure built using the 2 chairs.]
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Nothing.
Joey: (smiles) Kinda.
Joey: Dude, you should've gone out once and a while.
Joey: Come on, Chandler, Ross is our friend. He needs us right now, so why don't you be a grown up and come and watch some TV in the fort!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Ross is working on his computer and Joey is making a lot of noise.]
Ross: (glaring at him) Joey, please! (Motions to his computer.)
Joey: Sorry.
(Joey starts playing with a toy alligator and has it attack him.)
Joey: Ahhhhhhhhhh
Joey: Hey! Wanna play some foosball? Please?
Joey: No-no, no! We have to move the table into my room, yeah! 'Cause of all the boxes. Come on!
Joey: All right, I have one question. What is the deal with this? (Imitates Ross's 'quiet down' maneuver, but does move his hands up and down he just flaps his hands as if he's waving good-bye.)
Chandler: Bye-bye little puppet Joey hand?
Joey: No, the quiet down thing!
Joey: Um-hmm! Look, I-I-I don't know how much more of this I can take! Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with some show about bugs! My God! What if that had been porn?
Joey: All right, I guess I can hold out a little longer. Let's have a game.
Joey: YES!!
Joey: Um-hmm.
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: You guys got anything to eat? I just went down to Johnos for some chicken and it was closed!
Joey: Pheebs, if this guy keeps closing down all of our favorite places, where are we gonna eat?!
Joey: Umm, yum!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Ross are there. Chandler and Joey are looking through the paper.]
Joey: Mine! (He grabs it.)
Joey: Oh that's mine too! (Grabs it and Ross looks at him.) I'm Italian!
Joey: But it's available now! Isn't it?
Joey: Hey, let's go look at it! (They both jump up.)
Joey: Okay!
Joey: Yeah!
[Scene: The apartment in the listing, the guys are checking it out. There's one problem though, it's roughly the size of this computer screen. As they enter Joey lets out a whistle.]
Joey: Somebody was using his head. Hey, let's check out the rest of the place.
Joey: But hey, Ross, this place is available now!
Joey: Yeah.
Ross: (To Joey) So, you-you think I should go ahead and take this place?
Joey: Oh, it's perfect!
Joey: He knew we were trying to get rid of him. He knew! (Pause.) You think we could get a bathtub in our kitchen?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler and Joey are lamenting about how they kicked Ross out.]
Joey: Maybe, maybe we did a good thing, helping Ross get back on his feet!
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: I don't know. Maybe pizza?
Joey: Oh! Oh!
(The phone rings and Joey answers it.)
Joey: Hello! (Listens.) Oh yeah! (To Chandler) It's the apartment manager; Ross put us down as references. (To the apartment manager.) Ross is the greatest guy you'll ever meet! Yeah, he's very reliable.
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
(Joey motions, "Now, that's thinking!")
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross still has boxes all over the place. Joey is wearing a football helmet, and Chandler is spinning him around in one of the chairs and counting.]
Joey: (getting up) Dude, I'm telling ya! I'm fine! (He tries to take a step and falls flat on his face.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: You're kidding!
Joey: But you can't stay with Phoebe, Ross! We're-we're roomies!
Joey: Well, we got plenty of space! There-there's still some over there (Points to where the window is but sees that there isn't any space there and points towards his door.) by-by that speaker. Please, just stay!
Joey: Definitely!
Joey: All right!
(Chandler and Joey smile, but when Ross turns away look at each other with looks of horror.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's and Ross's, Chandler is entering and when he closes the door Joey pops his head out of the fort like before, but this time he's wearing a cowboy hat.]
Ross: (popping up behind Joey wearing an Indian headdress) Come on, it's fun!
Joey: Dude, stop talking crazy and make us some tea!
Joey: Then youre not invited. (Starts for the door again.)
Joey: God, that would be weird it that situation presented itself tonight, huh?
Joey: Hey, you're back too!
Joey: How was your conference?
Joey: You're not gonna like it.
Joey: You got married to fast.
Joey: You want my advice?
Joey: Hi, Rach.
Joey: I told ya.
Director: Listen Joey, we definitely want to see you for the callback on Saturday.
Joey: Who cares? You're Rachel! (To Chandler) Who's Kip?
Phoebe: Okay, but try and get Joey too.
Joey: (glares at him for a moment, then admits grudgingly) Maybe. Well, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know? Or any other house for that matter.
Joey: Hey, how was your chef thing?
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Joey: (entering the apartment) Hey. Man, it is so hard to shop for girls.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Oohh!! Ohh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh!!
Joey: (starting to cry) Open the box!! (Runs over to do so.)
Joey: (shocked) Oh! Ohh! Oh!!
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa. What ah, what happened to playing the field?
(Joey puts two and two together.)
Joey: How?! When?!
Joey: IN LONDON!!!
(Joey thinks it over.)
Joey: (To Chandler) You?! (To Monica) And-and you?!
JOEY: "Heckles, you crack me up in science class. You're the funniest kid in school.
Joey: Aww, I don't want to see that!
Joey: Hello, Zelda.
Joey: (entering) Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! None of that, not while you're living under my roof!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: And what?! Did you sleep with her?!
Joey: Yeah-yeah-yeah, and they had that beer! That uh
Joey: Oh, that sounds like fun, but weve got a ring to find!!
Joey: Yeah. (He goes over to her.)
Joey: Hey, Ross, you're okay with that?
Monica: Now calm down Joey.
Ross: Its like that everywhere, Joey! Okay, Mon, back me up here. Where you work the uh, waiters eat with the waiters, right? And the chefs eat with the other chefs, right?
Joey: I'll take it!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
Joey: What's the matter Ross?
Joey: Yeah, you fogged Danny.
Joey: Im missin picture time?! (Jumps over to look, Ross glares at him and he retreats.)
Joey: No can do amigo. No, I didn't use the computer. Felt more personal to hand-write it. (Chandler and Monica look even more shocked)
Joey: (quivering with anger) I did not care for that!
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
Joey: (running and banging on Chandlers door) The stripper stole the ring!! The stripper stole the ring!! Chandler! Chandler, get up! Get up! The stripper stole the ring!
Monica: Uh, listen, I need that broiling pan that Joey borrowed the other day.
Joey: Yes! Yes! Unreasonable!
Joey: So I ah, talked to Lauren, kinda told her how things were with us. Did you ah, did you talk to Marshall?
Joey: Yeah!
Ross: No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! (After Joey walks past, Ross throws the ball down in pain.) Ahh! (Chandler shows him the burn spots on his oven mitts.)
Joey: We all hate Emily!
Ross: Joey, I figured youd understand. I mean, I-Ive known him a lot longer.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are eating breakfast.]
(Joey is singing in his head.)
Monica: You guys are always hanging out in my apartment! Come on, I'll only use my left hand, huh? Come on, wussies! (Joey and Chandler pick her up) All right, ok, I gotta go. I'm going, (they throw her out) and I'm gone.
Joey: What? My hands are totally clean, I just gave the duck a bath.
Chandler: (wails loudly into his hands) Joey kept screaming at me, Do it now! Do it!! Do it! Do it now!! Sometimes late at night I can still here the screaming.
Joey: I think I'm gonna take-off.
Joey: Look, we were way out of line, we totally support you.
(Monica pats Joey on the shoulder.)
Joey: Oh sorry, I hear divorce I immediately go to Ross. (To Rachel) Who-whos Barry and Mindy?
Joey: (thinks) I'm not sure.
Joey: RACHEL PLEASE!!! JUST HAVE DINNER WITH US!!!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Joey, it's okay. Settle down.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey and Chandler are there getting ready for Thanksgiving.]
Joey: Well uh, I don't know about who's here, but I can tell you for damn sure who's not here and that's Rachel!!
Joey: That's because all people are selfish.
Joey: (in an unenthusiastic voice) PBS Telethon.
Joey: What happened? What happened?
Joey: I think it's going okay. Looks like he's smiling.
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Monica: Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (To Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross?
Chandler: Yeah I know, we're losing Ross, Joey said hence
Joey: Awful! Horrible!
Joey: My Giant? I love that movie!
(They start to go into Monica and Rachels, their apartment is filled with all of the old Christmas trees from Joeys work.)
Joey: Id seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...
Joey: All right, I-I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You see Rach I'm an actor
Joey: They're so small! (Both he and Ross look at them with satisfied looks on their faces.)
Joey: Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman.
Phoebe: Hey, Joey, when you said the deal with Santa Clause, you meant?
(Chandler gives Joey her business card, which he eagerly grabs and he leaves.)
Joey: (in a sexy voice) Yep! There's always room for Jell-O
Joey: No, Im not! And it wasnt a hop it was a pademarie.
Joey: Uh, I think she's still asleep. Hey, hey, how did it go with you guys last night? She seemed pretty pissed at you.
Joey: How about those fries though, huh? (Holds the plate between Sarah’s fingers and his plate, thus blocking her from reaching his)
Joey: That's way uptown! That's like three trains away! (Phoebe pinches him.) Which is great! I love to ride that rail!
Chandler: (sarcasticly) Thanks Joey, that's a good idea.
Joey: All right! You can have the chair.
Charlie: Actually, you know, Joey is your friend, and you don't really know me that well; it would be weird.
Joey: Im sayin I see a difference.
Joey: (sees Monica) Fire trucks! (Chandlers eyes double in size and he turns to Monica who doesn't understand what's happening. Then he turns back to Joey, who says "you're welcome" without a sound)
Joey: I was uh, I was thinking I might want to pick one of those babies up for myself, I might want to get one of those
(Emily spins the bottle and once again, it lands on Joey.)
Joey: All right look, yknow how-yknow how when youre dating someone and you dont want to cheat on them, unless its with someone really hot?
Joey: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.
Joey: I dont get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didnt take it, and I didnt take it; and you (Chandler) didnt take it, then who did? (The duck quacks.) Shh! Were trying to think! (Ross and Chandler realise it at the same moment and stare at Joey, who doesnt get it. After a short pause, with the duck still quacking, Joey figures it out and starts pointing at the duck.)
Joey: Yeah, they're mine.