words in movies
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross, Chandler, and Joey are there eating pizza.]
JOEY: Tongue?
JOEY: Cool.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there; Chandler is showing everyone his new computer.]
JOEY: [reading over her shoulder] Wait, here's one. Uh, would you be willing to cook naked?
JOEY: No, but if you're willing to cook naked, then you might be willing to dance naked. And then... [rubs his fingers together]
JOEY: You got all that from saline solution?
JOEY: Hey, Julie, I didn't know you wore lenses.
ROSS: [to Joey] Ssshh.
JOEY: Hey, here's a thought, Ross. [reaches for the computer]
JOEY: Ross, listen. I got two words for you. Threesome.
JOEY: Ok, let's start with the cons, 'cause they're more fun. All right, Rachel first.
JOEY: You could say that.
JOEY: Oh, her ankles are a little chubby.
JOEY: [to Ross] Hey, so how'd it go with Julie? Did you, did you break her heart?
[Joey is looking at Rachel, smiling, and gesturing his head towards Ross.]
JOEY: He broke up with Julie. Well, go hug her, for god's sakes.
JOEY/CHAN: Ohhh.
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
CHAN: No, no, see? See? [the printer starts to run] Hey, it's printing. [to Joey, rattled] Hey, it's printing!
CHAN, JOEY, ROSS: No!
JOEY: Hey, uh, why don't you read it to her?
[Ross and Chandler stare angrily at Joey, who thinks he has come up with a good idea.]
[Chandler and Joey leave quickly.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
JOEY: Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea.
[Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter, confused.]
JOEY: [opens the drapes] Hey, Ross! What are you doin'?
ROSS: Hey, Joey. You wanna open the window?
JOEY: Oh, yeah, I do.
JOEY: [quietly] I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again, you know? [Ross stares blankly at him] Maybe a little longer.
Joey: Oh my God.
JOEY: It really hit me last night. I'm gonna be on Days of our Lives. And then I started thinkin' about all of u, and how these are the days of our lives..
Joey: So what are you doing bringing her here?! Theres people here!
Joey: Ahh, I'm gonna go get some chicken. Want some?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is still watching the porn as Chandler enters.]
Joey: Well, we were! But Ross was talking so loud on his phone they threw us out!
Monica: (Panicking) Okay, umm, okay, umm (Rachel opens the door.) It's just Joey and Ross.
Joey: Come in. Thanks for comin back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists!
Joey: It's almost as if he knew.
Joey: Ross! Way to suck up to the family.
Joey: Why dont you like PBS, Pheebs?
Joey: (entering, wearing a tux) Hey!
[Scene: Joeys bedroom, he is awoken by the singing guy.]
Joey: Me neither, y'know what-
Joey: Come on Ross! Look, I-I dont have any brothers; Ill never get to be a best man!
Joey: (to Chandler) Hey, that is so great about the job.
Joey: Well, yeah, it was a really nice thing and all, but it made you feel really good right?
JOEY: Aaaaagggghhhhh.
Joey: That he doesn't exist.
Joey: Yeah, the man wreaks! Smells like he went on a three day fishing trip and then ate some liquorice.
Rachel: Uh, yeah, well, see, he Joey knows, that I'm-I'm very insecure about my back and, and you're hugging me, so obviously you are not repulsed by it, yeah!
Joey: But I'm the host!
Joey: (to Phoebe) Hey, how you doin?
Joey: Orrr, you could follow him and see where he goes.
(Ross keeps staring at her, head on table. Chandler smacks him with a newspaper. Joey enters, Ross and Chandler laugh at him.)
Chandler: No-o-o! (To Monica) No? (She nods no.) No-o-o! Look Joey, heres the thing, Monica and I have decided to live together, here. So, Im gonna be moving out man.
Joey: Umm, well, what else could it be?
JOEY: No no no, behind it.
Joey: (on phone) Hey Mon!
Chandler: Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. (Theyre stunned.) Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still looking out the window as Joey enters.]
Joey: What?! What good is that gonna do anybody?
Joey: (A guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (An attractive woman walks by.) Hey Annabelle.
JOEY: Hey, hey, check it out, guess what I got.
(They all leave and Joey comes back in quickly.)
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi Joey.
Joey: Hey Pheebs!
Ross: (calling from Elizabeth's bathroom) Joey, it's Ross! I need some help!
Joey: (to Monica and Rachel) He's talking to London!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is balancing a mini hockey stick on his hand as Chandler enters from his room carrying a bunch of bills.]
Joey: (interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Yknow that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
(We see Joey who has puffed up his cheeks and Chandler nonchalantly reaches down and pinches Joeys nose shut. In a few seconds, Joey has to move because hes now forced to actually hold his breath.)
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
Joey: Monica? What time is it?
Joey: Yeah, but what if he doesnt? Hes such a good duck.
Monica: Wait! What about Joey?
Joey: But it's dark out.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.
JOEY: You don't keep it over here on this table any more?
Joey: Hi!
Joey: How're you doing?
Joey: When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading What to Expect When Youre Expecting as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Joey: Listen, I know the invitation says 6:00, but does that mean that you want people to get there at six, or the show is gonna start right at six?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Will has left and the rest of the gang is watching Joey finish the turkey.]
Joey: Well, youre timing couldnt be better. Shes not my girlfriend anymore.
JOEY: Thanks Ross. I really like that bird though...I'll take the dog though.
Joey: Um-hmm! Look, I-I-I don't know how much more of this I can take! Did you know he taped over my Baywatch tape with some show about bugs! My God! What if that had been porn?
Joey: Good luck. (to Monica) And Im still right!
Joey: Hey, you're back!
Joey: Then youre not invited. (Starts for the door again.)
Joey: God, that would be weird it that situation presented itself tonight, huh?
Joey: Hey, you're back too!
Joey: How was your conference?
Joey: You're not gonna like it.
Joey: You got married to fast.
Joey: You want my advice?
Joey: Hi, Rach.
Joey: I told ya.
Director: Listen Joey, we definitely want to see you for the callback on Saturday.
Joey: Who cares? You're Rachel! (To Chandler) Who's Kip?
Phoebe: Okay, but try and get Joey too.
Joey: (glares at him for a moment, then admits grudgingly) Maybe. Well, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know? Or any other house for that matter.
Joey: Hey, how was your chef thing?
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Joey: (entering the apartment) Hey. Man, it is so hard to shop for girls.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are there as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Oohh!! Ohh! Oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh!!
Joey: (starting to cry) Open the box!! (Runs over to do so.)
Joey: (shocked) Oh! Ohh! Oh!!
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa. What ah, what happened to playing the field?
(Joey puts two and two together.)
Joey: How?! When?!
Joey: IN LONDON!!!
(Joey thinks it over.)
Joey: (To Chandler) You?! (To Monica) And-and you?!
JOEY: "Heckles, you crack me up in science class. You're the funniest kid in school.
Joey: Aww, I don't want to see that!
Joey: Hello, Zelda.
Joey: (entering) Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! None of that, not while you're living under my roof!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: And what?! Did you sleep with her?!
Joey: Yeah-yeah-yeah, and they had that beer! That uh
Joey: Oh, that sounds like fun, but weve got a ring to find!!
Joey: Yeah. (He goes over to her.)
Joey: Hey, Ross, you're okay with that?
Monica: Now calm down Joey.
Ross: Its like that everywhere, Joey! Okay, Mon, back me up here. Where you work the uh, waiters eat with the waiters, right? And the chefs eat with the other chefs, right?