words in movies
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross, Chandler, and Joey are there eating pizza.]
JOEY: Tongue?
JOEY: Cool.
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there; Chandler is showing everyone his new computer.]
JOEY: [reading over her shoulder] Wait, here's one. Uh, would you be willing to cook naked?
JOEY: No, but if you're willing to cook naked, then you might be willing to dance naked. And then... [rubs his fingers together]
JOEY: You got all that from saline solution?
JOEY: Hey, Julie, I didn't know you wore lenses.
ROSS: [to Joey] Ssshh.
JOEY: Hey, here's a thought, Ross. [reaches for the computer]
JOEY: Ross, listen. I got two words for you. Threesome.
JOEY: Ok, let's start with the cons, 'cause they're more fun. All right, Rachel first.
JOEY: You could say that.
JOEY: Oh, her ankles are a little chubby.
JOEY: [to Ross] Hey, so how'd it go with Julie? Did you, did you break her heart?
[Joey is looking at Rachel, smiling, and gesturing his head towards Ross.]
JOEY: He broke up with Julie. Well, go hug her, for god's sakes.
JOEY/CHAN: Ohhh.
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
CHAN: No, no, see? See? [the printer starts to run] Hey, it's printing. [to Joey, rattled] Hey, it's printing!
CHAN, JOEY, ROSS: No!
JOEY: Hey, uh, why don't you read it to her?
[Ross and Chandler stare angrily at Joey, who thinks he has come up with a good idea.]
[Chandler and Joey leave quickly.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are there.]
JOEY: Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea.
[Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter, confused.]
JOEY: [opens the drapes] Hey, Ross! What are you doin'?
ROSS: Hey, Joey. You wanna open the window?
JOEY: Oh, yeah, I do.
JOEY: [quietly] I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again, you know? [Ross stares blankly at him] Maybe a little longer.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is opening the door, but Chandler has the chain on it.]
Monica: For this weekend! Oh gosh, it would be perfect, we get to see Joey plus we get to start our anniversary celebration on the plane. We can call it out plane-aversary.
CHANDLER AND JOEY: Hi. We're the guys who called about the baby. We left the baby on ths bus. Is he here? Is he here?
Joey: A dreamless sleep.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is there as Chandler enters.]
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
Joey: Oh, uh, again. Can I make a special request: Can you bring everything as soon as it�s ready? Appetizers, entrees, we don�t care.
Joey: Oh, it was a lot of fun right up until Chandler got a finger in the eye!
Joey: Well, I figured were in another country, so it doesnt count.
Joey: (slow on the uptake) Oh my God!
Joey: (raises his hand and points to himself again) Ken Adams!!
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Rachel: Hi Joey, how ya doin?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Joey: Never had that dream.
Joey: Ohh.
[Scene: The fire escape, Joey is now hanging off of the bottom rung of the ladder that wont move and Ross is watching from above.]
Joey: Oh uh, hey. Not as good as this guy! (Grabs Ross around the shoulders.) He brought Twizlers!
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Joey: Yeah, poor cat, never saw that big butt coming.
Joey: Who's Paul?
Joey: What, like there's a rule or something?
Joey: Hey, Paul!
Joey: Did you call the cops?
Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help?
Joey: Well, the movie got shutdown because they ran out of money, so I'm working here 'til it starts up again, if it ever does.
Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get?
Joey: Ah, well, if I want the girl to kiss me, first thing I do is make my lips look irresistible.
Joey: Which goes where?
Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs!
Joey: I tried to call you from the coffee shop, and there was no answer.
Joey: You got screwed.
(Joey and Ross enter. Phoebe and Mike are sitting on the couch, reading a magazine.)
Joey: Shut up!
(Joey leaves. Rachel gulps down what's left of her drink and grimaces.)
Joey: All right! There is something. I kinda had a dream, (pause) but I don't want to talk about it. (Starts for his room.)
[Scene: The game show studio. Joey and Gene are sitting in the winner circle.]
Joey: Nothing major, it's just that, you know, they're not really good enough for you, and you deserve the best.
Joey: Morning, Paul.
Joey: Congratulations.
Joey: (quickly) I call Godfather!
Joey: Sure. Here. (He hands them over.) Ill uh, save your parking spot.
Joey: (through the window) All right, he likes you back! Huh? Told ya, you should go for it!
JOEY: Hey, you guys are still gonna come visit me, right?
Chandler: Joey, there was a little girl who lived here, but she died like 30 years ago.
Joey: (picking up a leftover part) What's this?
Joey: I can't believe what I'm hearing here.
Joey: Yeah, right!.......Y'serious?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Paul is writing something as Rachel enters.]
Joey: (pause)....Are we still talking about sex?
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
(Monica is cleaning the table, Chandler is sitting on the sofa. Joey enters.)
Chandler and Joey: Oh! Yeah!
Joey: I was with you the whole time we were in Connecticut, when did you even get those?
(Rachel rushes back and pulls Joey back onto the balcony, and takes him inside.)
Joey: Thata girl! Huh? We should get out of here; theres a new class comin in.
Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!
Monica: Hey Joey, come taste this.
Joey: How's that different? (She looks at him until he gets it.) Oh! Yeah!
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are there as Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Hey-hey dancer girl! Can I go to the bathroom? I just.. (The girl starts dancing really close to him, so he picks her up, twirls her round, and puts her against a platform) Here we go. (He walks away to find Monica and Ross doing a really out of place dance) Looking good Gellers!
(The duck starts to frantically flap his wings, while Joey is holding him, in an attempt to get away.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch. A waitress brings a coffee and Phoebe wants to pay.]
[Another group of flashbacks begin with Episode 513: The One With Joeys Bag. Joey is carrying the bag and has entered Central Perk to the amusement of Ross and Chandler.]
Joey: (entering carrying a box) Hey!!
Charlie: You know, actually I'm a little surprised to myself. I mean, Joey is so different from the guys I usually date. I mean, they're all professors, and intellectuals, and paleontologists mostly, you know, very cerebral...
Rachel: Amy! Hi! Oh-oh-hoh! (they hug) Wow! You remember Joey?
Joey: Come on, you guys are more then that! I mean, youre gonna get together right?
Joey: .....Well, this is still ruined, right?
Joey: I doubt it. Mostly regional work.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe's trying to teach Joey French, so she's sitting in front of him with the script in her hands.]
Ross: (to Joey) So? What do you think? (Shows himself - Joey observes him with a strange look on his face.)
Joey: Hmm, soup. (Pause.) I mean, noodle soup. I mean soup!
Joey: You a little sad about that sweetheart?
Joey: What theyre not invited?! Oh no, thats terrible! Theyre gonna be crushed!
Joey: What are we supposed to be seeing here?
Joey: Alright, when'd'ya have it on last?
Chandler: Joey and I can finish up in the guest room.
Joey: Ah, our little ones are growing up fast, uh?
Joey: Yeah. Cushions the blow.
Joey: Whoah!
Joey: What?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Thanks! Let's keep going.
(Joey lets his wrist go limp.)
Joey: Wouldn't you pay good money to see these identical hands showcased in some type of a uh, entertainment venue?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading on the couch while Joey, still suffering from his hernia, is returning with coffee for them both. After a series of grunts and groans he manages to painfully walk back from the counter, sit down, and slide Chandler his coffee.]
Joey: Y'miss it?
(Joey tries and visibly winces.)
Joey: That's ridiculous!
Joey: Um-hmm.
Joey: Y'okay, Phoebe?
JOEY: I don't know, I was kinda hopin' no one would ever find out.
Chandler: Leave me alone! For the love of God, leave me alone!!! (Joey hangs up.)
Joey: I just said that so you wouldn't let Ben do it! Look Ross, if anyone should step aside it should be Ben!
Joey: Oh well, the little girl who lives here made me feel a lot better about the whole thing.
Joey: All right, well maybe Im enjoying it a little bit. I mean Im getting pretty good at it.