words in movies
(Joey enters. His face looks abnormally colorful.)
Joey: Hey, hey.
Joey: Yes, I am. As of today, I am officially Joey Tribbiani, actor slash model.
Chandler: That's so funny, 'cause I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani, man slash woman.
Joey: You know those posters for the city free clinic?
Joey: No, but I hear lyme disease is open, so... (crosses fingers)
Joey: Thanks.
Monica: You know, they're not actually supposed to have... (Ross looks at her sheepishly) I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: (to Monica) We did?
Monica: (to Joey) You owe me 20 bucks.
[Scene: The subway, Joey spots a gorgeous woman waiting. He goes up to her.]
Joey: Uh, hi. We uh, we used to work together.
Joey: Yeah, at Macy's. You were the Obsession girl, right? I was the Aramis guy. (pretends to spray cologne) Aramis? Aramis?
Joey: I gotta tell you. You're the best in the business.
Joey: I'm serious. You're amazing. You know when to spritz, when to lay back.
Joey: Ooh, you smell great tonight. What're you wearing?
Joey: Listen, uh, you wanna go get a drink or something?
Girl: Yeah. (she gets up, notices something behind Joey) Oh.
Joey: What's wrong?
Joey: Oh. What?
Joey: Wait, wait, wait!
(Joey turns around and sees his face on a poster in the subway. The poster says: What Mario isn't telling you...V.D., you never know who might have it. A variety of scenes are shown with the poster displayed all over New York City.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey enters, amongst snickers from the gang.]
Joey: So I guess you all saw it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey enters, upset.]
Joey: Set another place for Thanksgiving. My entire family thinks I have VD.
Joey: Chandler, will you just come in already?
Joey: Hey, Monica, I got a question. I don't see any tater tots.
Joey: But my mom always makes them. It's like a tradition. You get a little piece of turkey on your fork, a little cranberry sauce, and a tot! It's bad enough I can't be with my family because of my disease.
Joey: The balloon?
Joey: Wait, wait, we have a copy of your key.
Joey: That tone will not make me go any faster.
Monica: (angry) Joey!
Joey: That one will.
(Joey leaves to get the copy of the key.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Joey has a tray full of keys, and is trying each one in the lock.]
Joey: Nope, not that one.
Joey: Hey, I got one keyhole and about a zillion keys. You do the math.
Joey: Hey, we all had better plans. This was nobody's first choice.
Joey: You call that delicious?
Joey: I've gotta see this. All right Ugly Naked Guy!
Joey: Oh, I will.
Joey: The bigger half.
[Scene: The Subway, Joey sees his poster and he peels off the caption on his poster, revealing more posters underneath. The captions read, as follows:
Joey: What? Rachel, listen, have you ever heard of Fortunata Fashions?
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks on the door and Treeger opens it.]
Joey: Hey, this girl won't turn around and I can't tell whether she's hot or not, what do you think?
Joey: Yeah, I-I just made up the stuff about the wedding because I didnt want you to worry about me. But, Im having surgery today.
Joey: He said that he wasnt gonna apologize because you guys are living here illegally, so instead what hes gonna do is have you evictedIll see you later.
Joey: Yeah! And I like to hang out in a quiet place where I can talk to my friends.
Joey: Are you serious?!
Joey: Thank God! Im exhausted!
Joey: Were 29, were not women.
Joey and Ross: Yeah!
Joey: Yeah, I know.
Joey: (coming out of the bathroom) Whats twisted?
Kathy: You must really like... Joey... to go to all that trouble for him.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, night. Chandler and Joey are sharing the sofabed in the living room. Joey is restless.]
Joey: So, were having fun, right?
(Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe start to pick through the lasagne as there's a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone's there; Phoebe recites the last verse of a poem to Joey. This poem is known as "The Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore, but it seems that it's rather "Account of a visit from St. Nicholas" by Henry Livingston.]
Joey: (to Kate) That guys like a cartoon. What do you see in him anyway?
Host: Folks, has this ever happened to you. You go to the refrigerator to get a nice glass of milk, (Joey is in the background struggling to open a cartoon of milk) and these darn cartons are so flingin'-flangin' hard to open.
Chandler and Joey: YEAH!!! YES!!!
Joey: I'm outta here. Here's my credit card. Dinner's on me. I'm sorry, Chandler.
Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe: Hey!
Joey: I call Monicas room!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Joey: Oh, what are you gonna do? Youre gonna fire me?
Joey: Ohhh!
Joey: Hey, Mon! Im not doing anything, why dont you fire me?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Joey, and Chandler are sitting and talking as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Joey: No, its okay, but if Im Marge, my breasts are coming out my back.
Monica, Rachel, and Joey: Yes!
Phoebe: Oh yeah, come here. (Puts a little wax on Joeys arm and puts a strip on it.)
Joey: Sure! Where are the seats?
Hypnosis Tape: You do not need to smoke. Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. (Joey walks out smiling to himself.)
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: What?
Joey: Wow thanks! (He goes into his bedroom and closes the door.)
Joey: Oh yeah! Amy just burned Jos manuscript. I dont see how he could ever forgive her.
Joey: Ye-ye, we go to yours!
Joey: Weekend at Bernies.
Joey: That just cost me four bucks. But uh listen, I just called to see how the chick and the duck are doing?
Joey: Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin?"
Joey: Yeah, well, that's fine, but the important thing is that I finished it. And uh, I think it's really good, but y'know it'd really help me is if I could hear it. So would you guys read it for me?
Joey: I don't know whether it's just 'cause we're breakin' up or... what, but you have never looked so beautiful.
Joey: Feminist issue. That's where I went!
Joey: (On the phone with Chandler) Double promise? Call me when you land.
[Scene: Allesandros, Joey is eating some cheese.]
Joey: Its still a tiny bit on fire there.
Joey: Oh. Okay. Ooh! Ooh! Okay, maybe Ill talk about London! Yknow when you two hooked up! Only, only I wont say hooked up. Ill say, "Began their beautiful journey "
Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!
Joey: You know what, you guys? It's their first time, why don't we just forget about the money, alright?
JOEY: Come on, Chandler, I want this part soo much. (Chandler ignores him) Just one kiss, I won't tell anyone.
Joey: (leaving) Lean-lean-lean!
Joey: No, I had sex in high school.
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
Joey: Oh wow! You can tell this soon.
Joey: Huh.
(Joey accompanies Lydia to a hospital room.)
Joey: Youre really thinking about having sex with your brother?!
Joey: (on phone) Yeah, my neighbor... (Listens) Yeah, the brunette... (to Monica) She says you looked very pretty the other day in the green dress.
Chandler: Well, Kathys last boyfriend was Joey.
The Casting Director: Actually, that can't happen. Yeah because you all have such different looks, we're putting you with Raymond and Kyle with Ben. So it'll be either you two (Points to Joey and Raymond) or you two. (Points to Kyle and Ben.) (Exits.)
Melanie: Mmmmmm... Oh, Joey, Joey, Joey... I think I blacked out there for a minute!
Joey: How little are they? I mean, are they like scary little?
Joey: Uhh, do you mind sitting there. Im-Im saving this for my friend Ross.
Joey: Well Ahh, (he sees Kate and the director kissing) yeah! Yeah, sure, a drink sounds great.
Joey: Thats crazy.
Joey: Well, how-how come?
Ross: Uh actually Joey, its the Cretasous period.
Monica: Joey, this is sick, it's disgusting, it's, it'snot really true, is it?
Joey: Whatever.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rachel, Phoebe, and Julio are consoling Joey and Chandler.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is eating dinner, Monica and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Ross: Thats okay, Im cool over here. Ill catch up with you later, Joey. (Joey is shocked.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is reading a cereal box as Ross enters wearing the red sweater.]
Joey: What?!
Joey: You could say: "Hey Kenny, how come you're not Britney Spears?" (looks at Ross matter-of-factly)
Joey: Alright, hey look, and this isn't over, because I really wanna know who...
Joey: Hey! Dont do the crime if you cant do the time.
Joey: I think I know that girl.
Joey: Yeah, thats what I was afraid of.. Okay, uhh Look Janine I really want you to feel at home here, but some of this new stuff. Its too girly.
Joey: Hey!
Chandler: (to Kathy) Uhh, that was Joey. Hes running a little late, he says hes sorry.
Joey: Noooo!!
(They all turn and look away. Suddenly a loud bang sounds out and in slow motion Joey slowly throws his body over Ross. Gary is shocked at what he sees while Chandler is obviously hurt.)
Joey: Okay look, look, let me ask you a question, when they were doing it on stage, was it like really hot?
Joey: Yep! Grab a plate.
Joey: Oh yeah, whos playing?
Joey: Hey Mon! Want some pancakes?
Joey: All right Pheebs, stick out your plate!
Monica: Okay. (She does so and starts to walk towards Joey to receive her pancakes.)
JOEY: I got one. Which one of us do you think will be the last to get married? [They all look at Chandler]
Joey: Yeah, you hang in there Teddy!
Joey: Look its not that bad. So what, it blocks a little of your door, a little of my door.
Joey (to Rachel): Dude, chill! (to Ross) Okay, we also kissed in Barbados, but we didn't plan it, okay? And the only reason that that happened was because I saw you kissing Charlie.
Joey: Look, its not about her. Okay? But seeing you two together just reminds me of what you did. And I dont want to live with some one who doesnt know what it is to be a friend. So, Ill see ya. (He starts to leave, but Chandler grabs his bag and stops him.)
Joey: I dont know, it smells good.
Joey: That would be Casey. Were going out tonight.
Joey: Fine! (He slams on the brakes, stopping the car on the bridge to the sound of numerous car horns.) Get out!
Joey: Come here.