words in movies
(Joey enters. His face looks abnormally colorful.)
Joey: Hey, hey.
Joey: Yes, I am. As of today, I am officially Joey Tribbiani, actor slash model.
Chandler: That's so funny, 'cause I was thinking you look more like Joey Tribbiani, man slash woman.
Joey: You know those posters for the city free clinic?
Joey: No, but I hear lyme disease is open, so... (crosses fingers)
Joey: Thanks.
Monica: You know, they're not actually supposed to have... (Ross looks at her sheepishly) I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: (to Monica) We did?
Monica: (to Joey) You owe me 20 bucks.
[Scene: The subway, Joey spots a gorgeous woman waiting. He goes up to her.]
Joey: Uh, hi. We uh, we used to work together.
Joey: Yeah, at Macy's. You were the Obsession girl, right? I was the Aramis guy. (pretends to spray cologne) Aramis? Aramis?
Joey: I gotta tell you. You're the best in the business.
Joey: I'm serious. You're amazing. You know when to spritz, when to lay back.
Joey: Ooh, you smell great tonight. What're you wearing?
Joey: Listen, uh, you wanna go get a drink or something?
Girl: Yeah. (she gets up, notices something behind Joey) Oh.
Joey: What's wrong?
Joey: Oh. What?
Joey: Wait, wait, wait!
(Joey turns around and sees his face on a poster in the subway. The poster says: What Mario isn't telling you...V.D., you never know who might have it. A variety of scenes are shown with the poster displayed all over New York City.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey enters, amongst snickers from the gang.]
Joey: So I guess you all saw it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey enters, upset.]
Joey: Set another place for Thanksgiving. My entire family thinks I have VD.
Joey: Chandler, will you just come in already?
Joey: Hey, Monica, I got a question. I don't see any tater tots.
Joey: But my mom always makes them. It's like a tradition. You get a little piece of turkey on your fork, a little cranberry sauce, and a tot! It's bad enough I can't be with my family because of my disease.
Joey: The balloon?
Joey: Wait, wait, we have a copy of your key.
Joey: That tone will not make me go any faster.
Monica: (angry) Joey!
Joey: That one will.
(Joey leaves to get the copy of the key.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Joey has a tray full of keys, and is trying each one in the lock.]
Joey: Nope, not that one.
Joey: Hey, I got one keyhole and about a zillion keys. You do the math.
Joey: Hey, we all had better plans. This was nobody's first choice.
Joey: You call that delicious?
Joey: I've gotta see this. All right Ugly Naked Guy!
Joey: Oh, I will.
Joey: The bigger half.
[Scene: The Subway, Joey sees his poster and he peels off the caption on his poster, revealing more posters underneath. The captions read, as follows:
Joey: Come on you stupid machine! Come on!
Joey: (looking at her) No.
Joey: (standing behind her) Uh, you gotta press the button. (Does so.)
Joey: 816, thank you!
(Joey starts to leave, but stops.)
Joey: And what is his name?
Joey: Great! Go get him.
Joey: But you said he was this great guy!
(He hands Joey the bag and he quickly counts its contents.)
Joey: Okay. And uh, are you married.
Joey: Age?
Joey: That was a test. Good response. All right, full name.
Joey: Date of birth?
Joey: Hmm. Do you sleep with women and never call them again?
[Cut to later in that episode. Monica and Chandler are confronting Joey in his apartment about Phoebes knowledge.]
Joey: Yeah, yeah, its already generating Oscar buzz.
Joey: (checking the list) Yes.
Joey: Oh thats terrible. Im-Im really sorry.
Monica: Okay, Joeys gonna catch it, and you and I are gonna block.
Joey: Oooh, wrong answer. (Exits.)
[Scene: Ross walks in the hallway to his apartment and stops in front of his own door. Now he hears two recorders playing a song. When he enters, Sandy and Joey are playing the recorder and Rachel listens.]
Joey: Uh, well hes 33.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Rachel are there as Ross enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Phoebe are on the couch as a man enters.]
Joey: Remoray. Its Portuguese. We need that information; Im a doctor.
Chandler: All right Rock, Paper, Scissors who has to tell the whore to leave! (Joey smirks.) What?
Joey: Oh my God I have to tell her! I havent even thought about what I will say. What should I say?
Joey: (glaring at her) Is there a problem?
Joey: Fake? Excuse me? Hello? (Taps the TV screen.)
Joey: Hey, Im not interested in her sweater! Its whats underneath her sweater that counts. And besides, since ah, since when do you care who Im going out with?
Joey: Right!
Joey: Me neither.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah sure! Yeah! (mouths "Good luck" to Joey and gets up from her seat)
Joey: (walks up) Uh, shes with me. (Introduces himself) Dr. Drake Remoray.
Joey: There she is!
Joey: Whats the matter now?
Joey: What was the other one Ross?
Joey: You hung up on the pizza place? I dont hang up on your friends.
[Cut to the hallway, Joey is listening to Chandler and his mom's conversation through the door as Ross walks up.]
Joey: Oh! Maybe its because Im on television. Im an actor on Days of Our Lives.
Joey: What is it? Hey!
Joey: Rach come on, what?
Joey: You dont have to worry about that okay?
[Scene: The Delivery Room, Rachel is in bed as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Joey. Honey what would I do without you?
Joey: Okay, how long was I watching that woman?
Joey: What are you talking about alone? What about Ross?
Joey: Yeah, I guess so.
Joey: Sure.
Joey: My God.
Rachel: Joey.
Joey: All right! All right! Uh, umm, Super-Speedy Speed round!
(Joey is stunned.)
Rachel: Joey.
(Joey is stunned.)
Ross: Hey Joey. (To Rachel) Hey you.
Ross: Uh Joey, can you give us just a minute?
Joey: No.
Joey: (form the other side of the door) Hellooo? Anybody in there order a celebrity? (He starts to enter the apartment and Chandler runs to the door and shuts it back in his face) OW!
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. I meant no.
Ross: Youre weird today. (He turns to Rachel and Joey puts the ring back.) (To Rachel) Listen I uh, wanted to talk to you about something.
Joey: Why isnt that valet back with my Porsche?
Joey: Dude I just did something terrible.
Joey: Really? Me? Wow! I dont even know any huge gay people!
Joey: (happily) She said yes.
Joey: No! No, that was Jack! Rachel thinks I asked her to marry me!
Joey: I guess.
Joey: Oh, I like that. Yeah
Joey: Okay well, I was down on one knee with the ring in my hand
Joey: Because it kinda looked like I did.
Joey: I know! I know its awful.
Joey: Oh God, what the hell am I going to tell him?
Monica: I dont see him. Hey! Maybe hes in the sugar bowl! (Opens the sugar bowl) Joey? Nope! (Closes the sugar bowl and they both laugh.)
(Ross turns to look at Joey.)
Joey: It cant be me, Im standing right here.
Joey: Whoa, jam! I love jam! (to Chandler) Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?
Joey: Yeah uh look Rach, theres something I gotta tell ya.
Rachel: Of course! Oh Joey, this ring I its beautiful I love it!
Joey: (To God) Are you kidding me?!
Joey: Oh uh-uh yeah, I think that
Joey: (watching) Yowsa! (Looks away.)
Joey: Yknow, I dont really know her.
Rachel: Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages.
Joey: I dont know! Maybe shes crazy! (Storms out.)
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, hey! You cant. Okay? Ever!
Joey: No hey Rach, its cool okay? Yknow Im a loner too! (Heads for his room.) Right?
Rachel: Joey proposed to me.
Chandler: I wasnt trying to open your closet! I wasnt trying to open your closet! I swear! (Running into the kitchen and sees its Joey.)
Joey: Felicity and I, were watching My Giant, and I was thinking, "Im never gonna be as good an actor as that giant." Do you think Im just wasting my life with this acting thing?
Rachel: Joey asked me marry him.
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Monica: Honey, the question is do you really want to marry Joey?
Chandler: Joey, you have to tell her whats going on! And what did it look like?!
Joey: Hey, everybody lies on their resume, okay. I wasn't one of the Zoom Kids either.
Joey: Look, its not that easy. She said she wanted to marry me. I dont want to hurt her.
Rachel: You didnt propose to me. Joey did.
(Joey enters.)
Joey: No.
Ross: Joey proposed to you?
Joey: No, I didnt!