words in movies
Joey: Yeah, they're mine.
Joey: I don't know uhh (Pause as he thinks about it.) Well, I'm Joey. Yeah, I'm disgusting, I take my underwear off in other people's homes.
Rachel: (waving them in his face) Take 'em! (Joey makes a noise and jumps out of the way.) Joey, you can touch them! They're your underwear.
Joey: (reluctantly taking them) Chandler? A word.
(Follows Joey into their apartment and shrugs on his way out.)
Joey: That's it! I'm tired of covering for you two! This has got to stop! (Realizes he still has the underwear in his hand.) Ahh! (Throws them towards Chandler's room.) And tighty-whiteys! What are you, 8?
Monica: (entering) Thank you Joey, thank you so much!
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Joey: Yeah, it was! All right, listen, I can't
Joey: Oh-oh, yeah-yeah, I bet all the sex makes it easier!
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Monica: Joey!
Joey: Didn't think so.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Joey: Hey, Pheebs!
Joey: What's wrong buddy?
Joey: I'm surprised you didn't go home wearing your lunch.
Ross: That was the water fountain! Okay?! Anyway, people are writing reports for me, uh pushing back deadlines to meet my schedule, I'm telling you, you get tough with people you can get anything you want. (Joey walks by with a cup of coffee.) Hey Tribbiani, give me that coffee! Now!
(Joey casually pushes Ross over the back of the couch and sits down proud of himself.)
[Scene: The hallway, Joey is returning from a date with Cynthia.]
Joey: So you uh, still wondering?
Joey: You're smart. I like that.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
Joey: Oh no-no-no-no, wait-wait-wait!!
Cynthia: I can't believe you thought that you were going to video tape us having sex on the first date! (She storms away and Rachel enters to confront Joey.)
Joey: Hiya.
Rachel: Joey, is what she just said ummOh my God. (Looks around the room.) You were actually gonna (Chandler picks this moment to return to the living room.) (Rachel stares in shock.)
(Chandler silently pleads with Joey to cover for them.)
Joey: I'm Joey. I mean, I'm disgusting. I make low-budget adult films. (Points at Chandler, angrily.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Joey: You guys promised you'd be more careful! I mean, come on! The good Joey name is being dragged through the mud here!
Joey: Well, I'm telling everyone about you! That's the only way to explain the underwear and the video camera that doesn't make me look like a pig!
Joey: Yeah, I like that. But no-no, how does that explain why Rachel found my underwear at your place?
Joey: Well, get ready to come out of the non-gay closet!
Joey: All right. Hey, but it better make me look really, really good. (Starts for his room.) Oh, and another thing, the video camera? Nice!!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; Joey returns carrying a bucket of chicken, and starts going through the mail. While doing this, Monica's picture falls out. He bends over to pick it up and gasps. While he's staring at the picture, Rachel decides to come over and sees him looking at the picture.]
Joey: Oh no-no-no! No-no-no-no-no-no-no!
Rachel: Joey has got a secret peephole!
Phoebe: All right, wait! Just wait. Everybody just calm down. Okay? Let's give our friend Joey a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert!
Joey: No! I am not a pervert! Okay? It's just I just Kinda
(He walks over and stands behind Joey.)
Joey: Thank you!
Joey: What?!! (He turns around and stares at Chandler who's silently pleading with Joey to go along with it.) No I'm not!!
Joey: No! No! I am not a sex addict!
Joey: No it isn't! No, it's not. Because you can also explain it with the truth!
Joey: (thinking) I slept with Monica.
Joey: Uh yes, but it was, we just did it once uh, in London.
Joey: Of course it's true! How else would you explain all the weird stuff that's been going on?
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Joey: That makes sense!
Joey: Uhh, Monica?
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Joey: But sadly I could not be enticed.
Joey: Well, I think we've all learned something about who's disgusting and who's not. Eh? All right, now, I'm going to get back to my bucket. I'm only eating the skin, so the chicken's up for grabs. (Offers it to everyone.)
Joey: You guys kissed! Oh mythis is huge!
Rachel: Okay, it's missing something. Ooh, I know! Umm, okay. (Goes and grabs a bag, that looks like a purse, and shows it to Joey.)
Rachel: Joey, you are not! Youre 31.
Joey: (realizes) Aww crap!
[Time lapse, Phoebe is playing the guitar for Joey.]
Joey: Wouldnt she?
Charlie: Joey is a great guy, but we're just... so different! I mean, during your speech he kept laughing at homo erectus!
Joey: Yeah, we haven't dropped it in (Looks to Ross.)
Joey: Yeah! If you wanna sing at their wedding, well you sing at their wedding!
Joey: They break your heart, dont they?
Joey: What?! Whats wrong with my eyes.
Joey: You got pregnant for funny?! Dina if hes funny laugh! All right, Ill be back in a little while! You stay here!
Joey: Tell me about it, I feel like Im holding down the fort all by myself.
Joey: Yeah! And also, a little like a French guy. (They both squint at each other.) I never noticed that before.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Who wants French toast?
Chandler: (on phone) Hey, its me. I know you cant stand to be in the same room as me, so I just thought Id try and apologize over the phone. All I (Joey hangs up the phone in disgust.)
Lorraine: Hi, Joey. (Sees Chandler.) Well well, look what you brought.
Joey: You got it. Okay. Now, I can pass for 19 right?!
Joey: Yeah, shes been out there for twenty minutes, Im surprised you didnt hear her on the way over.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are standing around the table drinking champagne as Ross enters.]
Joey: Well, the duck
Joey: I dont know! How about, "Thanks for taking the message." Jeez! (Exits.)
Rachel: Now Joey, what did the duck do?!
Rachel: Hey Joey, what cha doing?
Joey: Yeah I did!
Joey: Where do you think, (pause) Zelda?
Rachel: Joey, did you my face cream?
Joey: What are you mad at me for?!
Joey: You got porn!
Rachel: Monica, number one, I dont think Ben understands the concept of bribery, and number two, I... (Joey starts laughing in the background) (to Joey) What?!
Chandler: (interrupting in the nick of time) Joey, I uh! I can't believe this is how I'm spending my anniversary.
(Chandler and Monica leave. Cut to Joey, watching the Knicks/Celtics game on television.)
Joey: Yeah! Look! (He throws some of his spaghetti on the floor.)
Joey: (entering from bathrooms excitedly) You guys! You guys! Youre not gonna believe what my agent just told me!
(Joey creaks louder)
Joey: I know. (Joey is sitting in this tall chair that is made up of balls on polls. Youll have to see it to know what I mean.) Yeah, his name is Pat.
Rachel: (quietly) Joey.
Joey: (Pointing at Chandler.) Your different here too. Your mean in England. (Chandler throws his hands up to his head in frustration. They walk away from each other.)
Joey: Hey Rach.
Joey: Hey Rach, do you smell smoke?
Joey: Fine, you want to get the birds, get the birds!
Joey: Look I dont know this baby. I dont know if shes a famous artist or not. You know, and I dont want to be a jerk but youre changing too much around here.
The Director: (answering the phone) Hello. Oh! Its you. Just ah, just one-one sec. (to Joey and Kate) I am going to take this call. When I continue, I hope that there will appear on stage this magical thing that in the theatre we call, committing to the moment! (He goes to take the call.)
Rachel: Yknow, I can not believe you told him, Joey!
Joey: 'Cause I figured you'd hooked up with some girl and she'd left it there.
Joey: Just out of curiosity, how-how much is that boat worth?
Chandler: Okay this is great, but Joey said he didn't want any of us out there.
Joey: Gotcha.
Joey: Dude, what are you massaging an old man for?
Monica: Come on Phoebe, lets go! Come on, its time to get serious, huddle up. Joey, keep your head in the game.
Joey: The vicar!
Joey: Of course Im jokin! I dont take checks.
Joey: Huh?
Rachel: Yeah thats right! Come on Joey; sex me up!
Joey: Good, me too. (Tosses him the loaf.) Eggs and milk are in the fridge. Thanks.
Joey: I dont want to, Im scared.
Joey: What?
Joey: Feminine.
Joey: I guess I'm going to have to come up with a really good reason why I wasn't there. The producers are going to be so mad at me. They sat us all down yesterday and said "Everyone has to be there at 6:00 AM sharp, that means you Tribbiani." Like.. like I was some kind of idiot.
Rachel: (looking around) Who are you talking too? Oh, youre kidding! Oh, its a joke! (Laughs.) Its funny. Its funny. I dont get it. (Joey doesnt say any thing and Rachel realizes its not a joke.) Oh. (Pause) Okay. Umm I-I uh, wow. Are you uh How did umm When?
Rachel: Yeah, and-and-and by someone, she means Joey.
[Cut to the living room, Joey is eating a sandwich.)
Joey: I've been trying for two days. When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk. I can't believe she's blowin' me off.
Joey: You could?
Phoebe: Okay, scarfs done. (Its not really a scarf, its just a bunch of yarn that Phoebe has tied together. Just then, Ross and Emily enter dragging with them Joey and Chandler.)
Joey: Why would I do that? It took three guys to get the thing in there!
Joey: All right.
Joey: Yes.
Rachel: Joey, there is a perfectly good couch across the hall!
Joey: Oh dear God, let me think. (Starts to sarcastically think about it.)
Joey: Uhh, rub it?
Joey: And deaf!
Joey: (entering) Hey.
Joey: (recoils in horror) Women are mean!!! (Storms out.)
Joey: I mean, the jobs easy and the moneys good, you know? I guess Im going to be hanging out here anyway. I might as well get paid for it, right? I just feel kind of weird serving you guys.
Chandler: Well, I think it all started when you said, "Hey Joey, why dont you be my best man."
Joey: (entering) Hey.
Joey: Because! Youre mean on the boat!
(The Dry Cleaner stares at him and Joey retreats.)
Joey: Well, lesson learned! Rachel is mean!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Chandler are sitting on the couch and chair as Phoebe is getting coffee.]
Joey: And youll be nice?
Rachel: AndJoey!
(Chandler and Joey enter and overhear that.)
Joey: Do you want me to learn?!
Joey: You wont boss me around anymore?
Joey: Nope.
Joey: Uh, boat rope.
Joey: Ohh yeah.
Joey: Huh?
Joey: I dont know why you just dont say left.
Joey: Uh, wow, you just said a bunch of stuff I didnt know there.
Joey: God, its gonna so weird like when I come home and youre not here. Yknow? No more Joey and Chans. No more J and Cs. "You wanna go over to Joey and Chandlers?" "Cant, its not there."
Joey: Yeah? Well, I dont want to talk to you Wayne! I hate you! You ruined my life! Oh, Chandler, Wayne. Wayne, Chandler. (They shake hands.)
Joey: Why not?!
Joey: All right thats it! Youre yelling and I dont see you taking your top off! I quit!
Joey: Yes! Yes! You did and youre still yelling at me!
Rachel: Joey, come on! We just went over this! (She does it instead.)
Joey: This body? (He backs into the kitchen.)