words in movies
Joey: Yeah, they're mine.
Joey: I don't know uhh (Pause as he thinks about it.) Well, I'm Joey. Yeah, I'm disgusting, I take my underwear off in other people's homes.
Rachel: (waving them in his face) Take 'em! (Joey makes a noise and jumps out of the way.) Joey, you can touch them! They're your underwear.
Joey: (reluctantly taking them) Chandler? A word.
(Follows Joey into their apartment and shrugs on his way out.)
Joey: That's it! I'm tired of covering for you two! This has got to stop! (Realizes he still has the underwear in his hand.) Ahh! (Throws them towards Chandler's room.) And tighty-whiteys! What are you, 8?
Monica: (entering) Thank you Joey, thank you so much!
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Joey: Yeah, it was! All right, listen, I can't
Joey: Oh-oh, yeah-yeah, I bet all the sex makes it easier!
Joey: All right! But, (To Monica) you do it with me once.
Monica: Joey!
Joey: Didn't think so.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there as Phoebe enters with her nose stuck in a book.]
Joey: Hey, Pheebs!
Joey: What's wrong buddy?
Joey: I'm surprised you didn't go home wearing your lunch.
Ross: That was the water fountain! Okay?! Anyway, people are writing reports for me, uh pushing back deadlines to meet my schedule, I'm telling you, you get tough with people you can get anything you want. (Joey walks by with a cup of coffee.) Hey Tribbiani, give me that coffee! Now!
(Joey casually pushes Ross over the back of the couch and sits down proud of himself.)
[Scene: The hallway, Joey is returning from a date with Cynthia.]
Joey: So you uh, still wondering?
Joey: You're smart. I like that.
(He goes to open the door to his apartment, but finds it locked. As he's getting out his keys, Chandler and Monica quickly jump up from making out in the living room and run to Chandler's bedroom. The apartment has about 20 candles burning all over the place. Joey opens the door and ushers Cynthia in.)
Joey: Oh no-no-no-no, wait-wait-wait!!
Cynthia: I can't believe you thought that you were going to video tape us having sex on the first date! (She storms away and Rachel enters to confront Joey.)
Joey: Hiya.
Rachel: Joey, is what she just said ummOh my God. (Looks around the room.) You were actually gonna (Chandler picks this moment to return to the living room.) (Rachel stares in shock.)
(Chandler silently pleads with Joey to cover for them.)
Joey: I'm Joey. I mean, I'm disgusting. I make low-budget adult films. (Points at Chandler, angrily.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Joey: You guys promised you'd be more careful! I mean, come on! The good Joey name is being dragged through the mud here!
Joey: Well, I'm telling everyone about you! That's the only way to explain the underwear and the video camera that doesn't make me look like a pig!
Joey: Yeah, I like that. But no-no, how does that explain why Rachel found my underwear at your place?
Joey: Well, get ready to come out of the non-gay closet!
Joey: All right. Hey, but it better make me look really, really good. (Starts for his room.) Oh, and another thing, the video camera? Nice!!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; Joey returns carrying a bucket of chicken, and starts going through the mail. While doing this, Monica's picture falls out. He bends over to pick it up and gasps. While he's staring at the picture, Rachel decides to come over and sees him looking at the picture.]
Joey: Oh no-no-no! No-no-no-no-no-no-no!
Rachel: Joey has got a secret peephole!
Phoebe: All right, wait! Just wait. Everybody just calm down. Okay? Let's give our friend Joey a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert!
Joey: No! I am not a pervert! Okay? It's just I just Kinda
(He walks over and stands behind Joey.)
Joey: Thank you!
Joey: What?!! (He turns around and stares at Chandler who's silently pleading with Joey to go along with it.) No I'm not!!
Joey: No! No! I am not a sex addict!
Joey: No it isn't! No, it's not. Because you can also explain it with the truth!
Joey: (thinking) I slept with Monica.
Joey: Uh yes, but it was, we just did it once uh, in London.
Joey: Of course it's true! How else would you explain all the weird stuff that's been going on?
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Joey: That makes sense!
Joey: Uhh, Monica?
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Joey: But sadly I could not be enticed.
Joey: Well, I think we've all learned something about who's disgusting and who's not. Eh? All right, now, I'm going to get back to my bucket. I'm only eating the skin, so the chicken's up for grabs. (Offers it to everyone.)
Joey: What?
Joey: What?
(Suddenly Rachel clears her throat and the camera cuts to the rest of the gang staring at them. Needless to say Joey and Ross are shocked and slowly turn their heads to see the gang.)
Joey: Okay.
Joey: I dont know.
Joey: Yeah, Ross, way to ruin it. I was just going to get dressed.
Joey: How do you mean?
Joey: Yeah, Chandler finds me so intimdating that its better if were on the same team.
Joey: Yknow what you guys? Im uh, Im gonna go too. And uh, Im sorry about everything.
Joey: All right, okay, now, we just have to make sure she doesnt find out some other way. (spins the chair around so that Ross is facing him) Did you think about the trail?
Joey: (to Kate) Ah, are you okay?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: (to Ross) Hey.
Joey: (to Monica) Hey.
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Something like that?
Joey: I don't wanna hear it! Now go to my room!
Joey: You should both know, that he's a dead man. Oh, Chandler? (Starts after Chandler.)
Joey: No-no, things ah, finally happened with Kate.
Phoebe: Hes just trying to show Joey how much he means to him.
Joey: Wow! Huh? (Picks up the phone) Mac Macaveli, Private Investigator!
Joey: Hey.
JOEY: Well I uh, got what I came for. [puts on moose hat] I'll uh, I'll see you guys.
Joey: Y'know, about what happened with us.
Joey: Nooo.
Joey: Hi, Lauren.
[Scene: Westminster Abbey, Joey and Chandler have successfully navigated the streets of London and are approaching the Abbey.]
Joey: Y'know, I'd walk back to London for another frosty one of those bad boys.
Joey: It's a rented tux. Okay. I'm not gonna go commando in another man's fatigues.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is talking on the phone.]
Joey: Mia Hamm?
Joey: Yes, now is when you swoop! You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out of there, the first guy Rachel sees is you, She's gotta know that you're everything he's not! You're like, like the anti-Paolo!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are holding the giant poking device.]
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey stares at a picture of a bay on the wall. Janine comes out of her room.]
Joey: Oh, no. Ah, I playing your husband, Victor. Im Joey Tribianni.
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Joey: Hey, how much cash do you got in your pocket right now?
Joey: Look, I don't have it all worked out yet, but it's gotta mean big money! Come on! Identical hands!
Joey: Ah. Yeah. Well look, the thing is its the same day as my nieces christening and I really want my parents to be there in time to see me. Cause my parts just in the beginning Im not even in the rest of the showWedding!
Joey: Well, we only had samboucha, so it is now.
(Joey leaves and Monica mouths to Chandler Oh my God!)
Joey: Look, I just need a wire something to jimmy it. Oh hey, one of you guys give me the underwire from your bra!
Joey: Its cute, huh?
[Cut to Joey entering wearing a preppy tennis outfit.]
Joey: Hey.
All: Good-bye! Good luck! (She opens the door to reveal Monica and Joey.)
Joey: Hows she doing?
Joey: Well yeah, dont-dont you think its a she?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Ross, Chandler, and Joey are entering.]
Joey: Thats not what I said. Okay, I just meant...
Joey: What?
Joey: Ohhh, here it comes.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, and hes very dejected.]
Joey: Yeah, theres this superintendents dance, the Super Ball. I dont know, and he wants to impress Marge, this lady super that hes a crush on.
Joey: Do you think well get our three bucks back?
Joey: Oh, you bet I am!
Ross: Really? (Joey gives him a Like I would know look)
Joey: Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
Chandler (Stands up and walks to Joey): Listen...this is really nice. Do you... (sees his chequebook) Did you write a cheque to Monica for two thousand dollars? Did Monica borrow money from you?
Chandler and Joey: Awwwww!! (They lean back all the way.) Awwwwwww!!!
Joey: Shes mad because I know todays her laundry day and that means shes wearing her old lady underpants.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are being lectured by Phoebe.]
JOEY: [peeks back out] Ok, now that your coat is safely in the bedr-, [sees that the coast is clear] oh, ok we can come back out in the living room.
Joey: If you ask me, as long as you got this job, youve got nothing pushing you to get another one. You need the fear.
Joey: Its the chick! Shes going through some changes.
Joey: I got you something! Open it! Open it!
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey, yo. [they move from out of in front of the TV]
(Joey wants to know, but Chandler doesnt want to discuss it by the chick, so he and Joey move over to the windows and away from the chick.)
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Ross: Hmm -you know, actually this'll work out well. Cause when you have to move back in with Joey, Joey's hot new roommate can come and live with me.
Joey: Hey! (starts to laugh.) Hows it going?
Joey: Thats horrible! Well, you did the right thing man.
Joey: (takes phone) Hi, yeah, it's me. (Listens) Oh, no no no, we're just friends. (Listens) Yeah, I'm single. (Listens) 25. (Listens) An actor. (Listens) Hello?
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-ho-ho, I got this one. Here you go. (Hands Gunther Chandlers card.) Yknow I gotta tell ya, sometimes I justI dont get Chandler. Yknow, me and him do stuff all the time without you and you dont get all upset.
Joey: Remember when you where a kid and your Mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon?
Joey: Havent you ever read the same book over and over again?
Joey: Yeah, whats that about?
Joey: Cookie, now you can punch him!
Joey: What about the chick?
Joey: What cha doing?
Joey: Are you sure?
Joey: That's okay Mike, I have forgiven you. And now we're friends again everything's great!
JOEY: Hey. [Phoebe takes off, Joey and Chandler are thrown back in the seat]
Joey: (entering) Hey.
Joey: Okay.
CHANDLER: Yeah, he let us drive his Jaguar. Joey for 12 blocks, me for 15.
Joey: But you said one.
Kathy: Yeah, they teamed us up as partners. Joey picked three scenes for us to do; all of them had us making out.
Joey: (on the screen there's the word "Supermarket") Uhm... ok. It's a store, like a supermarket. (there is a sound indicating he made a mistake as he shouldn't have said 'supermarket'. The next word appears, "notebook") Oh! I see-I see what I did. Yeah, ok, ok, uhm... I'm writing in my...
(Joey listens to his overcoat for a second and sighs, then notices Chandler watching)
Joey: What about her? They've only been going out for two weeks. Ross has been in love with you for like 10 years.
(Joey congratulates Ross, sees Chandler's look and abruptly stops.)
Joey: Yeah, just a crush! Thats all this is! Its a crush! Im Joey; I dont get deep feelings.
Chandler: Nothing, just a little extra air in my mouth. Pffft. Pffffffft. (walks over to where Joey is seated)
Joey: Okay, what do you have a fear of if you suffer from this phobia, Tris Holy cow, thats a big word. Trisc Seriously look at this thing. Chandler, how do you say that?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyond except Monica and Joey is watching Lambchop.]
[Scene: The Theatre, Joey and Kate are rehearsing.]
Joey: Oh yeah? Ross, how many items left in that bag?
Joey: Ahhh! My ah, my agent said it wasn't a dancing part.
Joey: So, so, whatd ya think?