words in movies
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, everyone is there having breakfast and Joey enters carrying a loaf of bread.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Who wants French toast?
Joey: Good, me too. (Tosses him the loaf.) Eggs and milk are in the fridge. Thanks.
Joey: (sitting up from the couch) Hey Mon, do you have another pillow? (Holds up one.) Yknow, something a little snugglyer?
Joey: Well, the duck
Joey: Uh, well he did not get sick somewhere in there and it was immediately found and properly cleaned up!
Joey: (sitting up again) Guys! Guys!! You gotta let me nap! Ugh, Im gonna get cranky!
Rachel: Joey, there is a perfectly good couch across the hall!
Joey: Yes it is perfectly good, and it is not one of the places the duck got sick!
Joey: All right, Im gonna go! (Gets up and heads for the door.)
Rachel: Now Joey, what did the duck do?!
Joey: I dont know! But he did not eat your face cream!
[Cut to Joey and Rachels, Joey enters and heads for his bedroom. He pushes open the door to find the duck.]
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sweeping up as Rachel enters.]
Rachel: Hey Joey, what cha doing?
Joey: Sweepin. Why? Turn you on?
Joey: Huh. What if I was sweeping a chimney?
Rachel: Joey, did you my face cream?
Joey: Where are you going? The vicar wont be home for hours.
Rachel: Joey, (nervously) where did you learn that word?
Joey: Where do you think, (pause) Zelda?
Joey: Yeah I did!
Rachel: Joey, what-what are you doing going into my bedroom?!
Joey: Okay, look Im sorry, I went in there to take a nap and I know I shouldnt have, but you got porn!
Joey: You got porn!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are there as Rachel enters and sees Joey sitting there.]
Joey: Hey Rach.
Rachel: (quietly) Joey.
Joey: Hey Rach, do you smell smoke?
Joey: No-no-no, Im serious. You dont smell it? Somethings on fire.
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Its probably just your burnin loins.
Ross: (takes a drink) Damn, this coffees cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins? (Joey and he both laugh.)
Rachel: Yknow, I can not believe you told him, Joey!
Joey: Dude, what are you massaging an old man for?
Joey: Gotcha.
Chandler: Well, stuff like whered we live, yknow? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Yknow, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, wed have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing her checkbook as Joey enters from his room wearing a hockey helmet, gloves, and shin guards.]
Joey: Hello, Zelda.
Joey: The vicar!
Joey: Like a goalie, right?
Rachel: (sarcastically) Yeah. Look Joey, its enough all right?! You keep making these stupid jokes and this sleazy innuendoes and itsIm notits just not funny anymore!
Joey: All right, Im sorry. Rach IRach Im sorry. Okay? Im sorry! Maybe I can make up for it by, taking you roughly in the barn. (Giggles.)
Joey: Huh?
Joey: (nervously backing away) I-I-I-I did? (He puts a stool in front of her.)
Joey: This body? (He backs into the kitchen.)
Rachel: Yeah thats right! Come on Joey; sex me up!
Joey: Hey-hey, youre startin to sound like the butchers wife there in-in chapter seven.
Joey: I dont want to, Im scared.
Phoebe: Hey Joey.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Thank you.
Joey: What!? But I already bought my ticket to Bermuda!
Joey: mah
Phoebe: Oh that's my grandma. (Joey holds the box away from him.) And thanks Joey she's having a really great time. (Joey is happy now.)
Joey and Phoebe: (Ad-lib good-byes) (Phoebe leaves)
[Scene: The Hospital, Joey is in the waiting room as Rachel comes back out with the doctor.]
Director: Whenever you're ready Joey.
Gene: A torch, a bonfire... (Joey seems lost) uhm, your pee...
Director: Joey, do you speak French?
Joey: Sa-sa-saw!
Joey: (sounding very proud of himself) Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya?
Joey: (to Phoebe) Oh-hoh! Ha-hah! See!
(The director looks at Joey and he nods.)
Joey: Ah. All right. But my French was good?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is reading a 'Busty Ladies' magazine when Chandler enters.]
Joey: No.
Joey: No.
Joey: Would fall off a lot.
Joey: That I can do.
[Scene: Joey's apartment, Joey and Rachel are throwing huge spitballs at the entertainment center.]
Joey: No-no-no! Look, Ive been thinking about it. Im an actor right? So I wont get nervous talking in front of people.
Joey: No, thank you.
Joey: I could teach you a speech that I memorized for auditions.
Joey: Thats better, now just bend your arms a little more. There you go. Okay, look straight ahead. Now this time I want you to really put your ass into it. (They do a practice swing and she really puts her ass into it.)
Joey: (enters) Hey guys.
Monica: Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us.
Joey: Damnit woman were losing precious time! Now do you want this mans blood on your head?
Joey: Oh really? Well, maybe you and I go out for drinks? (Pause) Youre the other one right? (She thinks about it for a second and nods yes.)
Joey: After she gave me that big speech?! She goes and makes a date with a guy on the same night she has plans with me? I think shes trying to pull a fast one on Big Daddy!
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's future house. They enter the living room with the realtor and Joey.]
Monica: Joey, we know that's you.
Joey: (understanding) Oh.
Joey: I-I did! I told her everything, Chandler! But she wouldnt believe me.
Joey: Yeah well, Im guessing after this shes not going to be crazy about electricity either.
JOEY: What are you . ..� (He sees her in her negligee.)� Why are you dressed like that?
Joey: (turns the card around, obviously had the wrong answer) Ow!
Joey: Woah, uh! Okay, let's hear your great idea.
Ross: Wh - No. Some woman who sounded a lot like Joey called earlier and asked for her daughter, the "hot nanny".
Joey: Yeah, yeah, I guess.
Joey: What am I gonna do, I feel like I'm losing my friends.
Joey: (turning to Chandler in a scolding tone) Chandler!
Joey: We can't, alright? (To the women) We're sorry. You have no idea how sorry, but... We promised we'd find this monkey. If you see him, he's about yea high and answers to the name Marcel, so if we could get some pictures of you, you'd really be helping us out.
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Joey, now that you're okay with the house, do you wanna go see your room?
Joey: (frightened) What?
Joey: What? I get my own room?
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
Ross: Poor baby, youre so tired. Rach, I didnt propose to you, Joey didnt propose to you, and Chandler didnt propose to you.
Joey: Why not? I'll keep the tank clean.
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
[The next one is from Episode 609: The One Where Ross Got High, Rachel is describing her desert to Joey and Ross.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's. Joey's on the phone.]
Joey: Oh, yeah, sure, easy for you, you're young. Me, I'm set in my ways.
Joey: Hey, (realises he doesnt know her name.) stripper! (He notices that the ring box is open, so he picks it up, sees its empty and starts to panic.)
Joey: Hey, great! All right!
Rachel: Joey...
Rachel: (walking towards Joey) Joey, it would mean so...
Joey: Oh hey, dont worry about it man. Dont worry about it, no big deal.
Joey: Well, it comes and goes. I wouldn't trust it.
Joey: (in agony) aaw-ahhh-aaahhh STOP! STOP! I'm worried about damaging my head.
Joey: Hey Phoebe.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe’s reading, Joey has just entered the room]
Joey: I was just gonna call you! That’s weird.
Joey: Ok. Why?
Joey: Hello?
Joey: I’m just mad at my agent.
Joey: I love that saying!
Joey: I’m saying that… (pause). This isn't working for me anymore, ok? Estelle, you’re fired. Goodbye. (he hangs up the phone).
Joey: Yeah, actually I am!
Phoebe (doing Estelle): Joey, it’s Estelle.
Joey: That’s it? You know, it seems all you do lately is drop the ball.
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, Dirk was wondering about the woman that you brought and if you guys were together, or...
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. He’s there and Phoebe comes in.]
Joey: Why?
Monica: Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once.
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Phoebe: Hey Joey, want come with me to… are you ok?
Charlie: (to Joey) So, I have to go shopping today, which is my least favourite thing, I'm soo bad at picking out clothes!
Joey: (impressed) You blow me away.
(We hear Tag scream out in the hallway and jump into view of the open door on the scooter. He gives a hearty thumbs up to the group and rides off, with Joey following breathlessly behind.)
Joey: Estelle?
Joey: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Look. I take a girl out, she can order whatever she wants! The more, the better! All right? Just don’t order a Garden salad and then eat my food! That’s a good way to lose some fingers!
Joey: Can I ask you something? Uhm, what's it like there?
Ross: Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?
Joey: You know what? You are my friends, I wanna be supportive, I will come with you. SHOTGUN!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Damnit!
Joey: Just flip!
[Scene: Joey's place. Rachel and Joey are talking]
Joey: All right, all right, all right, let's play one more time, ok? And remember, if I win you do not move to Paris.
(Joey enters through the side window and jogs towards the kitchen holding a baseball bat)
Chandler (to Joey): At what point did it stop being funny that I took her passport?
Joey: Hey bear, I need some career advice.
Joey: Whoa-whoa-hey-hey! (Motions to Chandler, "Whats going on?") Hi, Paul is it? (Paul nods yes and still hugging Joey.)
Joey: Try it, I can't feel a thing! (Ross starts punching him too)
Joey: (noticing Chandler) What are you doing? (he pushes Chandler back to his side of the couch) Get back over on your side of the... (sees Robert in all his glory) Hello!! (to Robert) Hi, Im Joey, we havent met.
Joey: Mhm, maybe she used them with another boyfriend. Maybe Richard!
Joey: You guys hear a ringing?