words in movies
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is still dressing Joshua. He is trying on a pair of pants.]
Joshua: So, these will match the jacket you picked out for me last week?
Rachel: Um-hmm. (Joshua turns to look in the mirror and leaves Rachel staring at his ass.) There we go. There it is.
Joshua: (turning around) Oh! You know what I need?
Joshua: Gloves. Brown, leather dress gloves.
Joshua: Also large?
Joshua: Okay.
Rachel: Me, Fledermaus, great. I really(motions to Joshua.)
Joshua: So (Holds out his hands as to say, "Where are my gloves?")
Joshua: Gloves?
Joshua: Uhh, actually yknow what, I kindaI have to take off.
Joshua: But, I was curious; do you have any plans for tonight?
Joshua: I invested in this night-club and its opening tonight, would you like to come?
Joshua: Youre into hardcore S&M right?
Joshua: Kidding! (Rachel is relived) Im gonna get there early, but Im going to put you on the V.I.P list, okay? Look for me.
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this isI have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yknow the "Wouldnt it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
Monica: So? How did it go with Joshua last night?
Rachel: Well, I didnt see Joshua last night, but I did punch a girl in the face.
Rachel: No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her. Ohhh! I cant believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me.
Rachel: I dont care! All right, yknow what Im just upset that Im getting nowhere with Joshua thatyknow what still, you do not meet someone and go flitting off to Vermont!
Rachel: (joining them) Well, I just checked our messages and Joshua didnt call. I mean youd think hed be worried about me not showing up at his club. Ugh, you know what makes it so much worse, Ross is all happy in Vermont!
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Rachel: Joshua.
Ross: Joshua guy at that club, dancing and having a good time, the thought of it kinda yknow.
The Cigarette Guy: Hi, Im Joshua, Im here to pick up Rachel.
Rachel: No-no-no, that not Joshua.
Rachel: Three people. Joshuas not gonna be there.
Joshua: Yeah, but it wasnt much fun dropping it off at the dry cleaners in the skirt. (Rachel laughs) So I need everything down to underwear, so if youre willing, Im all yours.
Joshua: I do. I do. I love it. In fact, I think Im gonna wear it home.
Chandler: Oh yeah? (He grabs the pad and starts reading it.) Joshua, give me a call sometime, guys like you (Pause) never go out of stylewhat did you throw away?
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is preparing to slip Joshua the note.]
(She crawls over to Joshua and kisses the back of his knee. He feels it and looks down, Rachel pretends shes knocking a bug off his leg.)
Joshua: Huh. Oh, boy! (Sits down next to her.) Uhh, I-I dont wear suits to work, and I bought six of them from you.
Rachel: Hi, Im Rachel Green. What can I do for you Joshua?
Rachel: No-no, that wasnt me! (To Joshua) Well, we should get started. Let me show you my underwear. (Joshua turns at that) The selection of underwear we carry.
Joshua: They-they-they can smell fear.
Rachel: Yes! I will! Absolutely! (She takes out his license and her license and holds them face to face with each other. She then proceeds to act like Dark Helmut in Spaceballs, and mimic a conversation between the two of them.) Hello, Rachel. Hi, Joshua. I left my wallet here on purpose. Really? Yes, I just wanted to see you again. Oh, Im glad. Rachel, Id like to say something to you. Yes? How you doin?
Joshua: No, no-no, no-no, my point is that I kept coming back because, I wanted to see you.
Joshua: No, no, no, shes nice but, yknow, it just it made me realize that Im just not, Im just not ready to be dating, yknow?
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
Joshua: (coming in from a changing room) Okay!
Rachel: Oh, wait, Joshua! Joshua! (Pause) (Comes back inside) Yeah, well, that oughta do it.
Rachel: Would you like to go to a basketball game with me? (Tries again.) You know, its funny, basketball, because I happen to have tickets too (Tries again.) Umm, who likes the Knicks(Joshua comes in from the dressing room.)
[Scene: Joshuas parents apartment, continued from earlier.]
Joshua: Yeah! I mean youre-youre beautiful and smart and sophisticateda lot of this isnt based on tonight.
Rachel: Ohh, here you are. I was looking for you before. Joshuas gone so you and Emily are free to go.
Mrs. Burgin: Hello. Well, Joshua, that $500 was for groceries.
Joshua: Umm, that was really great, but I-I gotta take-off actually.
(They all stand up and go over to Phoebe to feel the baby, preventing Rachel from kissing Joshua.)
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
Joshua: Anyway, she burned all of my clothes. I got away with two things. This suit and what turned out to be a skirt.
Joshua: My marriage like just ended, and Im really not ready to get into anything yet.
Originally written by Transcribed by Joshua Hodge
Joshua: Wow! That would be great.
(Rachel spins the bottle and it lands on .wait for it .Joshua. (You thought I was going to say Ross, didnt you?) Rachel squeals in delight and starts a slow sexy crawl over to Joshua, making sure he and everyone else watching gets a good look at her cleavage.)
Joshua: and even though none of the other kids believed me, I swear to God, that duck pushed me!
Rachel: Okay. So, can I serve you a little ofWhat? What? What? (She sees that Joshua isnt relaxed.)
Joshua: Uhh, yeah, I think Im going to take-off too.
Rachel: Okay, you guys, just relax. (She goes over to open the door, and as she does, she says.) I doooo. (Sees that its Joshua, not Chandler that knocked on the door.)
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) Well, I just called Joshua
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking and Rachel is getting ready for a date with Joshua.]
Joshua: Hey, heres an idea. Why dont uh, I put the food in the fridge and we can eat it later?
(She goes down the hall. Joshua goes to put the food away when his parents walk in.)
Joshua: Hi. (He has just returned.)
Originally written by Betsy Bornes Transcribed by Joshua Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
Joshua: Well, I guess this is uh, I guess this is it.
Originally written by Adam Chase. Transcribed by Joshua Hodge.
Chandler: Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily, and I think thats, I think thats really cool.
Joshua: Oh, that-that would be great. So you didnt even get to Italy?
Joshua: Hi, Im Joshua.
Joshua: Well, I need a whole new wardrobe. My wife, well my ex-wife
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Joshua: What do you think?
Joshua: Oh, no thanks.
Joshua: Ah, thats okay, thanks.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Joshua: Oh great! (He tries on the coat.) Wow! Yeah, its comfortable.
Joshua: Why not?!
Joshua: Hi!
Joshua: All right, thank you so much for all your help.
Joshua: Yknow, they ruin it for everybody.
Joshua: Hi!
Joshua: Nice uh, costume.
Joshua: Well, what was supposed to happen?
Joshua: Okay uh, however
Joshua: Im sorry, I, I just need a little time.
Joshua: Yeah.
Joshua: But
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Rachel: Oh my gosh, Joshua!
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
Joshua: Okay.
Joshua: So, this was uh, really fun.
Joshua: You really dont seem like you do. Thats
Joshua: Need uh, need a little hand there.
Joshua: But
Joshua: Because I-I like you.
Joshua: No, theyre-theyre all true.
Joshua: Then uh, whats-whats this? (Shows her the real anti-theft device.)
Joshua: Hey!
Joshua: This is so nice. Thank you for doing this.
Joshua: Oh my God!
Joshua: Yeah, theyre out of town.
Joshua: Behind you?
Joshua: Great! Oh, it all looks sooo good!
Joshua: Okay, thats-thats not funny. Uhh.
Joshua: Oh, theyre working on this week, its a total mess. But uh, Im staying at my parents house, we could go there.
Joshua: So, all right.
Joshua: Nothing I uh, its just that I know that theyre still out there.
Joshua: Uhh, Rachel, my parents
Joshua: Oh yeah, yeah uh, its down the hall and uh, second door to your left.
Joshua: Yeah, yeah, let me show you around. This is the uh, downstairs living room.
Joshua: Oh my God!
Joshua: There you go.
Joshua: (coming back in) Im sorry.
Rachel: I know isnt it? Its like Im right there with Joshua.
Joshua: I-I gotta say, I-I-I-Im not too sure I agree with that.
Joshua: (sitting) You okay?
Joshua: Great!
Joshua: Do I?
Joshua: (entering) Hey, Rachel.
Joshua: I gotta go.
Joshua: What?! (Gunther is listening in.)
Rachel: Or Ill give them to my new boyfriend, Joshua.
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
Rachel: Yknow who doesnt even like dirty movies? My new boyfriend Joshua.