words in movies
Originally written by Betsy Bornes Transcribed by Joshua Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
(Rachel spins the bottle and it lands on .wait for it .Joshua. (You thought I was going to say Ross, didnt you?) Rachel squeals in delight and starts a slow sexy crawl over to Joshua, making sure he and everyone else watching gets a good look at her cleavage.)
Rachel: Okay. So, can I serve you a little ofWhat? What? What? (She sees that Joshua isnt relaxed.)
Originally written by Transcribed by Joshua Hodge
Rachel: Okay, you guys, just relax. (She goes over to open the door, and as she does, she says.) I doooo. (Sees that its Joshua, not Chandler that knocked on the door.)
Originally written by Adam Chase. Transcribed by Joshua Hodge.
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) Well, I just called Joshua
Chandler: Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily, and I think thats, I think thats really cool.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking and Rachel is getting ready for a date with Joshua.]
(She goes down the hall. Joshua goes to put the food away when his parents walk in.)
Joshua: Hey, heres an idea. Why dont uh, I put the food in the fridge and we can eat it later?
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this isI have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yknow the "Wouldnt it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
Joshua: Oh, that-that would be great. So you didnt even get to Italy?
Rachel: Um-hmm. (Joshua turns to look in the mirror and leaves Rachel staring at his ass.) There we go. There it is.
Joshua: Ah, thats okay, thanks.
Joshua: Uhh, yeah, I think Im going to take-off too.
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Joshua: Well, I need a whole new wardrobe. My wife, well my ex-wife
Joshua: What do you think?
Joshua: Hi. (He has just returned.)
Joshua: Well, I guess this is uh, I guess this is it.
Joshua: Hi, Im Joshua.
Joshua: Hi!
Joshua: Okay.
Joshua: All right, thank you so much for all your help.
Joshua: So, these will match the jacket you picked out for me last week?
Joshua: (turning around) Oh! You know what I need?
Joshua: Also large?
Monica: So? How did it go with Joshua last night?
Joshua: Gloves?
Joshua: Youre into hardcore S&M right?
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Rachel: Joshua.
Joshua: So (Holds out his hands as to say, "Where are my gloves?")
Rachel: No-no-no, that not Joshua.
Joshua: Yknow, they ruin it for everybody.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Joshua: Oh, no thanks.
Joshua: Oh great! (He tries on the coat.) Wow! Yeah, its comfortable.
Joshua: Why not?!
Joshua: Hi!
Joshua: Well, what was supposed to happen?
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
Joshua: But
Joshua: Nice uh, costume.
Joshua: Hey!
Joshua: Okay.
Joshua: So, this was uh, really fun.
Joshua: You really dont seem like you do. Thats
Joshua: Need uh, need a little hand there.
Joshua: Because I-I like you.
Joshua: Okay uh, however
Joshua: Yeah.
Joshua: Im sorry, I, I just need a little time.
Joshua: But
Joshua: No, theyre-theyre all true.
Joshua: This is so nice. Thank you for doing this.
Joshua: Then uh, whats-whats this? (Shows her the real anti-theft device.)
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Rachel: Oh my gosh, Joshua!
Joshua: So, all right.
Joshua: Nothing I uh, its just that I know that theyre still out there.
Joshua: Uhh, Rachel, my parents
Rachel: Me, Fledermaus, great. I really(motions to Joshua.)
Joshua: Yeah, theyre out of town.
Joshua: Okay, thats-thats not funny. Uhh.
Joshua: Oh, theyre working on this week, its a total mess. But uh, Im staying at my parents house, we could go there.
Joshua: Oh yeah, yeah uh, its down the hall and uh, second door to your left.
Joshua: Yeah, yeah, let me show you around. This is the uh, downstairs living room.
Joshua: Oh my God!
Joshua: There you go.
Joshua: Oh my God!
Joshua: Behind you?
Joshua: Great! Oh, it all looks sooo good!
Joshua: (coming back in) Im sorry.
Rachel: I know isnt it? Its like Im right there with Joshua.
The Cigarette Guy: Hi, Im Joshua, Im here to pick up Rachel.
Joshua: (sitting) You okay?
Joshua: Great!
Joshua: Do I?
Ross: Joshua guy at that club, dancing and having a good time, the thought of it kinda yknow.
Joshua: (entering) Hey, Rachel.
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
Joshua: I gotta go.
Joshua: What?! (Gunther is listening in.)
Rachel: Or Ill give them to my new boyfriend, Joshua.
Joshua: (noticing her) Hey-whoa-hey-hey, what was that?
Joshua: I-I gotta say, I-I-I-Im not too sure I agree with that.
Rachel: Well, I didnt see Joshua last night, but I did punch a girl in the face.
Rachel: Hey, Mon, if you were hoping to sleep with Joshua the first time tonight, which one of these would you want to be wearing. (Shes holding two frilly, lace nighties.)
Rachel: Yknow who doesnt even like dirty movies? My new boyfriend Joshua.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is waiting impatiently for Joshua.]
Joshua: Wow! Uhh, Rachel uhh, youre a real special lady, but my divorce isnt final yet and, and, and weve been on four days, so Im thinking "No, but thanks."
Joshua: Yeah, well, it wouldve been, but uh, my parents just moved here.
Joshua: Gloves. Brown, leather dress gloves.
Rachel: ...And so then I realized. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldnt come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...
Joshua: Whats up? Youre voice sounded all squeaky on the phone.
Joshua: Umm, this may be a little weird, but I-I-I got a date here.
(Mr. Waltham admires Joshuas butt as he leaves.)
Joshua: Mom, Dad, what are you guys doing here?
Rachel: Okay. (Joshua goes inside and to Chandler.) Every time.