words in movies
Originally written by Betsy Bornes Transcribed by Joshua Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
Rachel: Yes! I will! Absolutely! (She takes out his license and her license and holds them face to face with each other. She then proceeds to act like Dark Helmut in Spaceballs, and mimic a conversation between the two of them.) Hello, Rachel. Hi, Joshua. I left my wallet here on purpose. Really? Yes, I just wanted to see you again. Oh, Im glad. Rachel, Id like to say something to you. Yes? How you doin?
Joshua: No, no-no, no-no, my point is that I kept coming back because, I wanted to see you.
Rachel: No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her. Ohhh! I cant believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me.
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
Joshua: No, no, no, shes nice but, yknow, it just it made me realize that Im just not, Im just not ready to be dating, yknow?
Rachel: Oh, wait, Joshua! Joshua! (Pause) (Comes back inside) Yeah, well, that oughta do it.
Joshua: But, I was curious; do you have any plans for tonight?
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is still dressing Joshua. He is trying on a pair of pants.]
Joshua: Yeah! I mean youre-youre beautiful and smart and sophisticateda lot of this isnt based on tonight.
Joshua: (coming in from a changing room) Okay!
Rachel: Would you like to go to a basketball game with me? (Tries again.) You know, its funny, basketball, because I happen to have tickets too (Tries again.) Umm, who likes the Knicks(Joshua comes in from the dressing room.)
Rachel: (joining them) Well, I just checked our messages and Joshua didnt call. I mean youd think hed be worried about me not showing up at his club. Ugh, you know what makes it so much worse, Ross is all happy in Vermont!
[Scene: Joshuas parents apartment, continued from earlier.]
(They all stand up and go over to Phoebe to feel the baby, preventing Rachel from kissing Joshua.)
Joshua: Umm, that was really great, but I-I gotta take-off actually.
Rachel: Ohh, here you are. I was looking for you before. Joshuas gone so you and Emily are free to go.
Mrs. Burgin: Hello. Well, Joshua, that $500 was for groceries.
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
Joshua: I invested in this night-club and its opening tonight, would you like to come?
Joshua: Anyway, she burned all of my clothes. I got away with two things. This suit and what turned out to be a skirt.
Joshua: Wow! That would be great.
Joshua: My marriage like just ended, and Im really not ready to get into anything yet.
Rachel: Okay. So, can I serve you a little ofWhat? What? What? (She sees that Joshua isnt relaxed.)
Joshua: and even though none of the other kids believed me, I swear to God, that duck pushed me!
(Rachel spins the bottle and it lands on .wait for it .Joshua. (You thought I was going to say Ross, didnt you?) Rachel squeals in delight and starts a slow sexy crawl over to Joshua, making sure he and everyone else watching gets a good look at her cleavage.)
Rachel: Okay, you guys, just relax. (She goes over to open the door, and as she does, she says.) I doooo. (Sees that its Joshua, not Chandler that knocked on the door.)
Originally written by Transcribed by Joshua Hodge
Chandler: Hey, I hear that you and Joshua are going out to dinner with Ross and Emily, and I think thats, I think thats really cool.
Originally written by Adam Chase. Transcribed by Joshua Hodge.
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) Well, I just called Joshua
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this isI have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yknow the "Wouldnt it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking and Rachel is getting ready for a date with Joshua.]
Joshua: Hey, heres an idea. Why dont uh, I put the food in the fridge and we can eat it later?
Joshua: Uhh, yeah, I think Im going to take-off too.
(She goes down the hall. Joshua goes to put the food away when his parents walk in.)
Joshua: Oh, that-that would be great. So you didnt even get to Italy?
Joshua: Hi. (He has just returned.)
Joshua: Well, I guess this is uh, I guess this is it.
Rachel: Um-hmm. (Joshua turns to look in the mirror and leaves Rachel staring at his ass.) There we go. There it is.
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Joshua: Hi, Im Joshua.
Joshua: Well, I need a whole new wardrobe. My wife, well my ex-wife
Joshua: What do you think?
Joshua: Ah, thats okay, thanks.
Joshua: (turning around) Oh! You know what I need?
Joshua: Hi!
Joshua: All right, thank you so much for all your help.
Joshua: Okay.
Joshua: Also large?
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Monica: So? How did it go with Joshua last night?
Joshua: So, these will match the jacket you picked out for me last week?
Joshua: Youre into hardcore S&M right?
Joshua: Gloves?
Rachel: No-no-no, that not Joshua.
Rachel: Joshua.
Joshua: So (Holds out his hands as to say, "Where are my gloves?")
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Joshua: Yknow, they ruin it for everybody.
Joshua: Oh, no thanks.
Joshua: Hi!
Joshua: Oh great! (He tries on the coat.) Wow! Yeah, its comfortable.
Joshua: Why not?!
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
Joshua: Well, what was supposed to happen?
Joshua: Nice uh, costume.
Joshua: Hey!
Joshua: Okay.
Joshua: So, this was uh, really fun.
Joshua: You really dont seem like you do. Thats
Joshua: Need uh, need a little hand there.
Joshua: But
Joshua: Because I-I like you.
Joshua: Yeah.
Joshua: No, theyre-theyre all true.
Joshua: Okay uh, however
Joshua: Im sorry, I, I just need a little time.
Joshua: But
Joshua: Then uh, whats-whats this? (Shows her the real anti-theft device.)
Joshua: This is so nice. Thank you for doing this.
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Rachel: Me, Fledermaus, great. I really(motions to Joshua.)
Rachel: Oh my gosh, Joshua!
Joshua: Oh my God!
Joshua: Behind you?
Joshua: Great! Oh, it all looks sooo good!
Joshua: Oh yeah, yeah uh, its down the hall and uh, second door to your left.
Joshua: Yeah, theyre out of town.
Joshua: Okay, thats-thats not funny. Uhh.
Joshua: Oh, theyre working on this week, its a total mess. But uh, Im staying at my parents house, we could go there.
Joshua: So, all right.
Joshua: Nothing I uh, its just that I know that theyre still out there.
Joshua: Yeah, yeah, let me show you around. This is the uh, downstairs living room.
Joshua: Oh my God!
Joshua: Uhh, Rachel, my parents
Joshua: There you go.
Rachel: I know isnt it? Its like Im right there with Joshua.
The Cigarette Guy: Hi, Im Joshua, Im here to pick up Rachel.
Joshua: (coming back in) Im sorry.
Ross: Joshua guy at that club, dancing and having a good time, the thought of it kinda yknow.