words in movies
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
Chandler: Oh yeah? (He grabs the pad and starts reading it.) Joshua, give me a call sometime, guys like you (Pause) never go out of stylewhat did you throw away?
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is preparing to slip Joshua the note.]
Joshua: (coming in from a changing room) Okay!
Joshua: Oh great! (He tries on the coat.) Wow! Yeah, its comfortable.
Joshua: Man, I could really flash somebody in this thing. (He goes to put his hands in his pockets.)
Joshua: Why not?!
Joshua: Yknow, they ruin it for everybody.
Joshua: Yknow, I wore that cashmere sweater on a date last night.
Joshua: Yeah, it was my first date since the uh, since the divorce.
Joshua: No, no, no, shes nice but, yknow, it just it made me realize that Im just not, Im just not ready to be dating, yknow?
Joshua: (noticing her) Hey-whoa-hey-hey, what was that?
Joshua: Then uh, whats-whats this? (Shows her the real anti-theft device.)
Rachel: We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But its actually for Joshua. (Starts handing out party hats.) Look, he said hes not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I have the perfect opportunity to seduce him! (Hands Ross a party hat.)
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
Rachel: Okay, yknow what, yknow what? This playing hard to get thing is not working. Umm, hand-hand me those cherries. (Chandler does so.) Okay. Okay. (She does a little sexy walk over to where Joshua is standing.) Hi!
Joshua: Hi!
Joshua: Oh, no thanks.
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
Joshua: Uhh, yeah, I think Im going to take-off too.
(Rachel spins the bottle and it lands on .wait for it .Joshua. (You thought I was going to say Ross, didnt you?) Rachel squeals in delight and starts a slow sexy crawl over to Joshua, making sure he and everyone else watching gets a good look at her cleavage.)
(They all stand up and go over to Phoebe to feel the baby, preventing Rachel from kissing Joshua.)
(She crawls over to Joshua and kisses the back of his knee. He feels it and looks down, Rachel pretends shes knocking a bug off his leg.)
Joshua: Hey!
Joshua: Nice uh, costume.
Joshua: Umm, that was really great, but I-I gotta take-off actually.
Joshua: Okay.
Joshua: So, this was uh, really fun.
Joshua: Need uh, need a little hand there.
Joshua: You really dont seem like you do. Thats
Joshua: Well, what was supposed to happen?
Joshua: Huh. Oh, boy! (Sits down next to her.) Uhh, I-I dont wear suits to work, and I bought six of them from you.
Joshua: No, no-no, no-no, my point is that I kept coming back because, I wanted to see you.
Joshua: Because I-I like you.
Joshua: Yeah! I mean youre-youre beautiful and smart and sophisticateda lot of this isnt based on tonight.
Joshua: But
Joshua: Okay uh, however
Joshua: My marriage like just ended, and Im really not ready to get into anything yet.
Joshua: Im sorry, I, I just need a little time.
Rachel: Ohh, here you are. I was looking for you before. Joshuas gone so you and Emily are free to go.
Joshua: Hi. (He has just returned.)
Rachel: Oh my gosh, Joshua!
Joshua: All those things I said about not being ready
Joshua: No, theyre-theyre all true.
Joshua: But
Joshua: Yeah.
Rachel: Okay. (Joshua goes inside and to Chandler.) Every time.
Rachel: Um-hmm. (Joshua turns to look in the mirror and leaves Rachel staring at his ass.) There we go. There it is.
Joshua: Oh, that-that would be great. So you didnt even get to Italy?
Originally written by Betsy Bornes Transcribed by Joshua Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
Joshua: Well, I guess this is uh, I guess this is it.
Joshua: Hi, Im Joshua.
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Joshua: Ah, thats okay, thanks.
Joshua: So, these will match the jacket you picked out for me last week?
Joshua: Well, I need a whole new wardrobe. My wife, well my ex-wife
Joshua: What do you think?
Joshua: Hi!
Joshua: All right, thank you so much for all your help.
Joshua: (turning around) Oh! You know what I need?
Joshua: Okay.
Joshua: Also large?
Joshua: Youre into hardcore S&M right?
Rachel: Its Joshua.
Monica: So? How did it go with Joshua last night?
Joshua: Gloves?
Rachel: Joshua.
Rachel: No-no-no, that not Joshua.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Joshua: So (Holds out his hands as to say, "Where are my gloves?")
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
Rachel: Me, Fledermaus, great. I really(motions to Joshua.)
Joshua: This is so nice. Thank you for doing this.
Joshua: Oh my God!
Joshua: Behind you?
Joshua: Great! Oh, it all looks sooo good!
Joshua: Yeah, theyre out of town.
Joshua: So, all right.
Joshua: Nothing I uh, its just that I know that theyre still out there.
Joshua: Okay, thats-thats not funny. Uhh.
Joshua: Oh, theyre working on this week, its a total mess. But uh, Im staying at my parents house, we could go there.
Joshua: Oh yeah, yeah uh, its down the hall and uh, second door to your left.
Joshua: Yeah, yeah, let me show you around. This is the uh, downstairs living room.
Joshua: Uhh, Rachel, my parents
The Cigarette Guy: Hi, Im Joshua, Im here to pick up Rachel.
Rachel: I know isnt it? Its like Im right there with Joshua.
Joshua: Oh my God!
Joshua: There you go.
Joshua: (sitting) You okay?
Joshua: (coming back in) Im sorry.
Joshua: Great!
Joshua: Do I?
Joshua: (entering) Hey, Rachel.
Joshua: I-I gotta say, I-I-I-Im not too sure I agree with that.
Rachel: Well, I didnt see Joshua last night, but I did punch a girl in the face.
Ross: Joshua guy at that club, dancing and having a good time, the thought of it kinda yknow.
Joshua: I gotta go.
Joshua: What?! (Gunther is listening in.)
Rachel: Or Ill give them to my new boyfriend, Joshua.
Rachel: Yknow who doesnt even like dirty movies? My new boyfriend Joshua.
Rachel: Hey, Mon, if you were hoping to sleep with Joshua the first time tonight, which one of these would you want to be wearing. (Shes holding two frilly, lace nighties.)
Joshua: Mom, Dad, what are you guys doing here?
Joshua: Wow! Uhh, Rachel uhh, youre a real special lady, but my divorce isnt final yet and, and, and weve been on four days, so Im thinking "No, but thanks."
Joshua: Yeah, well, it wouldve been, but uh, my parents just moved here.
Joshua: Whats up? Youre voice sounded all squeaky on the phone.
Joshua: Umm, this may be a little weird, but I-I-I got a date here.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is waiting impatiently for Joshua.]
Joshua: Gloves. Brown, leather dress gloves.
Rachel: ...And so then I realized. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldnt come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...
Rachel: Handling it? What do you mean, handling it? Theres nothing to handle. Now, maybe I would have a problem with this if it wasnt for me and Joshua. Yknow, theyre not gonna get married anyway!
[Scene: Joshuas parents apartment, Rachel and Joshua are entering.]
(Mr. Waltham admires Joshuas butt as he leaves.)
Mr. Waltham: Rachel, one of your customers seems to have left his billfold. A Joshua Bergen.
Joshua: Thanks. (He starts to leave) Maybe Ill see in the spring, with the uh, yknow, for the uh, bathing suits.
Rachel: I mean maybe you didnt hear about a serious relationship called me and Joshua?
(Its a really good-looking man, Joshua, that Rachel has an instant crush on. Well actually its Tate Donovan, so its not like shes really testing her acting skills.)
Joshua: Yeah, that would be fantastic! My-my nephew is crazy about the Knicks! This is fantastic, thank you so much Rachel. (He takes the tickets and leaves as Mr. Waltham returns.)
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
(Rachel gets up and ushers them into the hall, as they pass Joshua, he leaps onto the counter to avoid them. Rachel drops them off in the hall, and knocks on Joeys door.)
Joshua: Huh. (She starts brushing the lint off and checking him out in the mirror.) Yeah?
Rachel: Oh, I wish he was a doll, then I could get a Rachel doll and bump them together and make kissy noises. Oh! And he has the most beautiful name, I never realised it, Joshua! Josh-u-a! Joshua! Josh.
Joshua: Uhh, actually yknow what, I kindaI have to take off.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on her dinner date with Joshua.]
Joshua: Anyway, hopefully, Ill see you around sometime. (He goes out the door.)
Joshua: Yeah, its-its my only weird thing, I swear. And I-I-I wouldve told you about it, but I didnt know they would be here.
Joshua: Yeah-yeah, its this huge place, and-and its got this gorgeous view of the park, and very, very romantic. What do you say?
Rachel: I dont care! All right, yknow what Im just upset that Im getting nowhere with Joshua thatyknow what still, you do not meet someone and go flitting off to Vermont!
Rachel: You are not going to believe it! Joshua came into work today, and guess what happened?
Rachel: No-no, that wasnt me! (To Joshua) Well, we should get started. Let me show you my underwear. (Joshua turns at that) The selection of underwear we carry.
Joshua: Its this way? Sorry. (He walks past her and she again admires his butt.)
Joshua: (getting up and backing away from they.) Is there ah, is there some way they can not be here. Its just ah, farm birds really kinda freak me out!
(They all go into the kitchen. Just then, Rachel comes back from the bathroom; she had removed her dress and is wearing nothing but a lace nightie. She tries to find someplace seductive to wait for Joshua. She tries to sit on the piano, but it makes too much noise. So she goes over to the couch and kinda half lays down to wait for Joshua. Joshua comes in from the kitchen, sees Rachel, and freezes.)
Rachel: Hi, Im Rachel Green. What can I do for you Joshua?
Joshua: Yeah, sure-sure, yeah, were-were-were-were-were clicking.
Originally written by Michael Borkow, Mike Sikowitz & Jeffrey Astrof Transcribed by Joshua Hodge. Minor additions and adjustments by Dan Silverstein.
Rachel: Three people. Joshuas not gonna be there.
Joshua: Yeah, but it wasnt much fun dropping it off at the dry cleaners in the skirt. (Rachel laughs) So I need everything down to underwear, so if youre willing, Im all yours.
Joshua: I do. I do. I love it. In fact, I think Im gonna wear it home.
Joshua: They-they-they can smell fear.
Joshua: Kidding! (Rachel is relived) Im gonna get there early, but Im going to put you on the V.I.P list, okay? Look for me.
Rachel: No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her. Ohhh! I cant believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me.
Rachel: Yes! I will! Absolutely! (She takes out his license and her license and holds them face to face with each other. She then proceeds to act like Dark Helmut in Spaceballs, and mimic a conversation between the two of them.) Hello, Rachel. Hi, Joshua. I left my wallet here on purpose. Really? Yes, I just wanted to see you again. Oh, Im glad. Rachel, Id like to say something to you. Yes? How you doin?
[Scene: Joshuas parents apartment, continued from earlier.]
Rachel: Oh, wait, Joshua! Joshua! (Pause) (Comes back inside) Yeah, well, that oughta do it.
Joshua: But, I was curious; do you have any plans for tonight?
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is still dressing Joshua. He is trying on a pair of pants.]