words in movies
[Scene: A Theatre, Chandler and Ross are there to watch the premiere of Kathys play.]
(Onstage theres a knock on the door and Kathy opens it. We dont see whats going on, only hear it.)
Kathy: Hi!
Kathy: No, youre my first. Put the money on the table.
(Ross and Chandler have stunned looks on their faces as Kathy and her co-star start making out.)
Kathy: If you want it to be.
(Kathys co-star rips her blouse off and buttons go flying into the audience, and one hits Ross. Chandlers mouth is on the floor.)
Phoebe: Ooh! How was Kathys play?
Ross: Well, Kathy gets half-naked and simulates sex with a real good lookin guy.
[Scene: Kathys play, Ross and Chandler are waiting for her in the lobby after the play.]
Kathy: Hey you guys!
Kathy: Hi! (Kisses Chandler) Thank you so much for coming again. Did you like it tonight?
Kathy: Wasnt Nick funny when he couldnt get his match lit?
Kathy: Its a good play, isnt it?
Kathy: Clearly, Im having sex with him?
Kathy: Okay, so let me just get this straight. Youre accusing me of cheating on you, and insulting my performance?
Kathy: Acting! Chandler, this is my job! Im-Im playing a part in a play! How can you not trust me?!
Kathy: Oh, wow. I cant believe youre throwing that in my face.
Kathy: Ill tell you what, Chandler, why dont you call me when you grow up!
Chandler: Steps! (He opens the door to his apartment to Ross and Joey looking at the new Playboy) Slut! (Ross and Joey quickly hide the Playboy behind their backs. Chandler wonders into the girls apartment.) You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy!
[Scene: Kathys apartment, Chandler is knocking on the door.]
Kathy: (opening the door) Hey.
Kathy: Oh wow. I really wish youd call me.
Kathy: Yeah.
Chandler: All right, who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash?! I really wanted to take Kathy to this, I cant believe I missed it.
Chandler: It's okay, the duck's using our bathroom anyway. (Kathy goes into the bathroom.) Hey Joe! What are you getting Kathy for her birthday?
Joey: No, things are fine with Kathy. Im having a late dinner with her tonight, right after my early dinner with Casey.
Kathy: Oh. Well uh, (to Chandler) you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm (She looks at the gang who are watching, they take the hint and leave them alone.) Listen I dont wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I cant stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I dont wanna be the cause of that. So, I dont think we can see each other anymore. Im gonna go to my moms in Chicago, Im gonna stay there for awhile. I think this couldve be something really amazing, but yknow this is probably for the best. Yknow? Im gonna miss you. Good-bye, Chandler.
Kathy: Horrible!
Kathy: (outside the door) No. (Chandler opens the door and they kiss again.)
Kathy: Umm, (moves her hands down to his butt) I love this touchy. Can I take it to work with me?
Chandler: (to Kathy) Uhh, that was Joey. Hes running a little late, he says hes sorry.
Chandler: Okay, all right. I just spent the entire afternoon looking for a present for Kathy that would be better than the rabbit.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Kathy are kissing.]
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
[Scene: A nightclub, Chandler is having dinner with Kathy and Joey.]
Kathy: Oh my God, is it really that bad?
Chandler: Well, thanks. I grow it myself. (Kathy is running her fingers through his hair, and Chandler catches himself enjoying it too much.) Yknow who also has great hair is Joey!
Chandler: Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, continued from earlier. Chandler and Kathy are still kissing, then they stop suddenly.]
Kathy: Yes! Yeah! Joey has great hair! Umm, Im basically done here. Just let me get this off your neck.
Chandler: Its-its about Kathy. Umm, uh, I like her. I like her a lot actually.
Chandler: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I found this great place called "Invisible things for Kathy." (Motions to an imaginary pile of presents next to him.) Can you give me a hand with all this stuff?
Chandler: Kathy! Kathy! Hi!! Kathy! Kathy! (She doesn't hear him and keeps running, Chandler starts chasing her as the theme to The Mod Squad starts to play. First, a car almost hits him and then gets mustard splashed on him as he runs by a hot dog vendor.) Kathy! (He keeps running and gets tangled up in the leashes of five dogs, in desperation he throws his paper.) Fetch! Fetch it! (He frees himself and resumes the chase) Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! (He now trips and falls into a pile of garbage, he tries to get up and scream her name again but he has a piece of spinach in his mouth. He gets out of the garbage and starts crossing the street by running over the hoods of a couple of cabs.) Kathy! (He jumps in front of her and out of breath he says) Kathy.
Kathy: Hi.
(Kathy runs in, hair all out of place, and hugs Monica.)
Kathy: Oh! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Yes! Thank you! (Runs back to Chandler)
Joey: (entering) Hey! I'm meeting Kathy in ten minutes! I've been looking all over for you!
Kathy: With a K.
Kathy: No, you didn't. Hi, I'm Kathy.
Kathy: Wow! You are really good at this.
Kathy: Oh my God!
Kathy: (laughs) What about the duck?
Kathy: Okay.
Monica: Y'know what, I like Kathy.
Phoebe: Yes, you do. Chandler loves Kathy.
Chandler: (sees Kathy is up watching TV) Hi!
Kathy: You're kidding! Oh, I love him.
Kathy: (laughs) Oh-oh-oh-oh!
Kathy: Oh please!
Kathy: (to Chandler) We were just talking about you.
Kathy: Hey!
Joey: Yeah! You don't like Kathy.
(Joey and Kathy enter, laughing)
Kathy: Thank you!
Kathy: Not your type?! She's gorgeous!
Kathy: Um, thank you for the gift.
Kathy: I'll be in in a minute.
Kathy: Well....
[Kathy enters]
Kathy: Hey.
Chandler: Wait! Youre going out with Kathy!
Kathy: Oh, okay.
Kathy: So is Joey around?
Kathy: Oh.
Chandler: I kissed Kathy.
Kathy: Looks good.
Kathy: Okay. Bye.
Kathy: Chandler, I like Joey a lot, but with you
Joey: No-no-no, I think Im gonna see how things go with Kathy. Shes pretty cool.
Joey: No. No, Kathy.
Joey: No-no, Kathy.
Kathy: I uh, dont really have a preference. You?
Kathy: Im sorry. If you wanna pretend that nothing happened, I can try.
Kathy: Hey. Listen, I want you to know how sorry I am
Kathy: Why not? Whats going on?
Kathy: (sees its Joey) Oh.
Kathy: Well, Im still sorry. Is he here?
Kathy: No, but this wonder broom is amazing!
Kathy: So what did you do today?
Kathy: Can you really do that?
Kathy: No, but thats bad!
Kathy: What?!
Kathy: Oh, jeez. (Hits him)
Kathy: Oh.
Joey: Ill get it. (Its Kathy.)
Kathy: Oh! (They kiss and she leaves)
Monica: (to the lobster) Lucky bastard! (Throws the lobster in and turns around to face the planets most annoying woman, next to Dr. Laura and Kathy Lee Gifford of course. Shes the most annoying female TV character however.) Janice.
Kathy: Well, I could cut it.
Kathy: Can I borrow the keys to your apartment?
Kathy: Yeah. No, this is great. Thank you, Chandler. (They hug).
Kathy: You must really like... Joey... to go to all that trouble for him.
Kathy: No-no-no, the kiss was good.
Chandler: Well, Kathys last boyfriend was Joey.
Chandler: Oh yeah man. (to Kathy) Joey. (Hands her the phone.)
Kathy: Hey, Chandler! What are you doing here?
(Kathy leaves and Chandler groans in agony. Kathy knocks on the door and Chandler opens it.)
Kathy: I'm sorry, you're right, I apologize, but I should tell you that I'm waiting for a date. (Joey enters) Oh, and there he is now.
Kathy: No, I really did forget my purse.
[Cut to later, Kathy is cutting Chandlers hair.]
Monica: (turning around and doing that, "I'm making out with someone," thing with her hands) Ooh, umm, oh Kathy! Kathy, I love you! Oh! (She turns around and sees Gunther staring at her and stops suddenly.)
Kathy: Ahahaha... haha.. yes I can, of course. Excuse me.
Chandler: Hey! Hey, hey-hey, hey. (Joey kisses Kathy.)
Kathy: Ohh, God, guys, check it out, you can see that girl's underwear!
Kathy: The Velveteen Rabbit. I kinda have the feeling you had something to do with it.
Kathy: You have really great hair.
Chandler: Bye. (Kathy leaves and Chandler wonders over to and leans up against the door.) Are you still out there?
[Scene: A street, Chandler is buying a newspaper and notices Kathy running by.]
Kathy: Okay, I've got some ugly friends, and they're all available too.
Joey: We broke down on the Parkway, so I have to walk back and get some transmission fluid. And hey, listen could you please tell Kathy that Ill be there as soon as I can.
[Kathy whispers something in Joey's ear]
Joey: (to Kathy) I'll be right back. (to Chandler) What was that?
Kathy: (to Chandler) So? Huh? What do you think?
Joey: Kathy was being really nice and you just walked away. I thought we had a deal.