words in movies
[Scene: A Theatre, Chandler and Ross are there to watch the premiere of Kathys play.]
(Onstage theres a knock on the door and Kathy opens it. We dont see whats going on, only hear it.)
Kathy: Hi!
Kathy: No, youre my first. Put the money on the table.
(Ross and Chandler have stunned looks on their faces as Kathy and her co-star start making out.)
Kathy: If you want it to be.
(Kathys co-star rips her blouse off and buttons go flying into the audience, and one hits Ross. Chandlers mouth is on the floor.)
Phoebe: Ooh! How was Kathys play?
Ross: Well, Kathy gets half-naked and simulates sex with a real good lookin guy.
[Scene: Kathys play, Ross and Chandler are waiting for her in the lobby after the play.]
Kathy: Hey you guys!
Kathy: Hi! (Kisses Chandler) Thank you so much for coming again. Did you like it tonight?
Kathy: Wasnt Nick funny when he couldnt get his match lit?
Kathy: Its a good play, isnt it?
Kathy: Clearly, Im having sex with him?
Kathy: Okay, so let me just get this straight. Youre accusing me of cheating on you, and insulting my performance?
Kathy: Acting! Chandler, this is my job! Im-Im playing a part in a play! How can you not trust me?!
Kathy: Oh, wow. I cant believe youre throwing that in my face.
Kathy: Ill tell you what, Chandler, why dont you call me when you grow up!
Chandler: Steps! (He opens the door to his apartment to Ross and Joey looking at the new Playboy) Slut! (Ross and Joey quickly hide the Playboy behind their backs. Chandler wonders into the girls apartment.) You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy!
[Scene: Kathys apartment, Chandler is knocking on the door.]
Kathy: (opening the door) Hey.
Kathy: Oh wow. I really wish youd call me.
Kathy: Yeah.
Chandler: Okay, all right. I just spent the entire afternoon looking for a present for Kathy that would be better than the rabbit.
Kathy: Horrible!
Kathy: Oh my God, is it really that bad?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, continued from earlier. Chandler and Kathy are still kissing, then they stop suddenly.]
[Scene: A nightclub, Chandler is having dinner with Kathy and Joey.]
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
Chandler: Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and
Chandler: Well, thanks. I grow it myself. (Kathy is running her fingers through his hair, and Chandler catches himself enjoying it too much.) Yknow who also has great hair is Joey!
Kathy: Yes! Yeah! Joey has great hair! Umm, Im basically done here. Just let me get this off your neck.
(Kathy runs in, hair all out of place, and hugs Monica.)
Chandler: Its-its about Kathy. Umm, uh, I like her. I like her a lot actually.
Chandler: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I found this great place called "Invisible things for Kathy." (Motions to an imaginary pile of presents next to him.) Can you give me a hand with all this stuff?
Chandler: Kathy! Kathy! Hi!! Kathy! Kathy! (She doesn't hear him and keeps running, Chandler starts chasing her as the theme to The Mod Squad starts to play. First, a car almost hits him and then gets mustard splashed on him as he runs by a hot dog vendor.) Kathy! (He keeps running and gets tangled up in the leashes of five dogs, in desperation he throws his paper.) Fetch! Fetch it! (He frees himself and resumes the chase) Kathy! Kathy! Kathy! (He now trips and falls into a pile of garbage, he tries to get up and scream her name again but he has a piece of spinach in his mouth. He gets out of the garbage and starts crossing the street by running over the hoods of a couple of cabs.) Kathy! (He jumps in front of her and out of breath he says) Kathy.
Kathy: Oh! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Yes! Thank you! (Runs back to Chandler)
Kathy: Oh my God!
Joey: (entering) Hey! I'm meeting Kathy in ten minutes! I've been looking all over for you!
Kathy: Hi.
Chandler: (sees Kathy is up watching TV) Hi!
Kathy: You're kidding! Oh, I love him.
Kathy: (laughs) Oh-oh-oh-oh!
Kathy: Oh please!
Kathy: With a K.
Kathy: No, you didn't. Hi, I'm Kathy.
Kathy: Wow! You are really good at this.
Joey: Yeah! You don't like Kathy.
Kathy: (laughs) What about the duck?
Kathy: Okay.
Monica: Y'know what, I like Kathy.
Kathy: Hey!
Phoebe: Yes, you do. Chandler loves Kathy.
Kathy: (to Chandler) We were just talking about you.
(Joey and Kathy enter, laughing)
Kathy: Well....
Kathy: Thank you!
Kathy: Not your type?! She's gorgeous!
Kathy: Um, thank you for the gift.
Kathy: I'll be in in a minute.
[Kathy enters]
Kathy: Hey.
Kathy: Oh, okay.
Chandler: Wait! Youre going out with Kathy!
Kathy: So is Joey around?
Kathy: Oh.
Kathy: So what did you do today?
Kathy: Looks good.
Kathy: Can you really do that?
Kathy: No, but thats bad!
Kathy: What?!
Kathy: Oh.
Joey: No-no-no, I think Im gonna see how things go with Kathy. Shes pretty cool.
Joey: No. No, Kathy.
Joey: No-no, Kathy.
Chandler: I kissed Kathy.
Kathy: Okay. Bye.
Kathy: Chandler, I like Joey a lot, but with you
Kathy: Oh, jeez. (Hits him)
Kathy: I uh, dont really have a preference. You?
Kathy: Im sorry. If you wanna pretend that nothing happened, I can try.
Kathy: Hey. Listen, I want you to know how sorry I am
Kathy: Why not? Whats going on?
Kathy: (sees its Joey) Oh.
Kathy: Well, Im still sorry. Is he here?
Kathy: No, but this wonder broom is amazing!
Joey: Ill get it. (Its Kathy.)
Monica: (to the lobster) Lucky bastard! (Throws the lobster in and turns around to face the planets most annoying woman, next to Dr. Laura and Kathy Lee Gifford of course. Shes the most annoying female TV character however.) Janice.
Kathy: Yeah. No, this is great. Thank you, Chandler. (They hug).
Kathy: Can I borrow the keys to your apartment?
Kathy: You must really like... Joey... to go to all that trouble for him.
Kathy: No-no-no, the kiss was good.
Chandler: Well, Kathys last boyfriend was Joey.
Kathy: Well, I could cut it.
Kathy: Oh! (They kiss and she leaves)
Kathy: No, I really did forget my purse.
Kathy: Hey, Chandler! What are you doing here?
Kathy: I'm sorry, you're right, I apologize, but I should tell you that I'm waiting for a date. (Joey enters) Oh, and there he is now.
(Kathy leaves and Chandler groans in agony. Kathy knocks on the door and Chandler opens it.)
Kathy: Ahahaha... haha.. yes I can, of course. Excuse me.
Chandler: Oh yeah man. (to Kathy) Joey. (Hands her the phone.)
Monica: (turning around and doing that, "I'm making out with someone," thing with her hands) Ooh, umm, oh Kathy! Kathy, I love you! Oh! (She turns around and sees Gunther staring at her and stops suddenly.)
[Cut to later, Kathy is cutting Chandlers hair.]
Chandler: Hey! Hey, hey-hey, hey. (Joey kisses Kathy.)
Chandler: Bye. (Kathy leaves and Chandler wonders over to and leans up against the door.) Are you still out there?
Kathy: The Velveteen Rabbit. I kinda have the feeling you had something to do with it.
Kathy: Okay, I've got some ugly friends, and they're all available too.
Kathy: You have really great hair.
Joey: We broke down on the Parkway, so I have to walk back and get some transmission fluid. And hey, listen could you please tell Kathy that Ill be there as soon as I can.
[Kathy whispers something in Joey's ear]
[Scene: A street, Chandler is buying a newspaper and notices Kathy running by.]
Kathy: (to Chandler) So? Huh? What do you think?
Kathy: Ohh, God, guys, check it out, you can see that girl's underwear!
Joey: (to Kathy) I'll be right back. (to Chandler) What was that?
Joey: Kathy was being really nice and you just walked away. I thought we had a deal.
Joey: Listen uh, could you put Kathy on, I wanna apologize.
Kathy: Checking to see if its even.
Kathy: I forgot my purse.
Joey: Yeah, you've been avoiding her ever since we started going out. Look, I made an effort to like Janice, now I think it's your turn to make an effort to like Kathy by going out to dinner with us. Right?
Kathy: (going over to the box) Chandler?
Chandler: [to Kathy] Goodnight.
Kathy: Yeah, they teamed us up as partners. Joey picked three scenes for us to do; all of them had us making out.
Chandler: Yknow, I cant believe Kathy did this too me. I really, thought that she was the one. I tell you what, from now on Im never getting out of this chair, ever! Okay? From now on, this chair is the one! You wanna what else is the one? My sweat pants!