words in movies
Ross: Oh, I love that guy! (Laughs.)
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
[Joey just laughs as a third set of flashbacks featuring Chandlers mistakes starts. The first flashback is from The One With The Prom Video. It's Chandler telling Phoebe how much he hates the bracelet Joey bought him. They're both at Central Perk.]
Monica: Now you think I wouldn't enjoy that, because it is so fake, (Laughs) but I still do.
Earl: (To All) Did you hear that?! I dont need you guys to care about me! Because the universe cares! The whole universe! (Laughs as everyone ignores him.) (To Phoebe) I really wished theyd care just a little bit though.
Janice: Hi, Ross. Yes, it's me. How did you know? (she laughs obnoxiously)
(Hayley laughs and goes into the kitchen thinking it's a joke, Joey doesn't see what's so funny about it)
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Rachel: (reading the note) "Pheebs, cant make it, got a date. Talk to you later. Big Daddy." (Laughs) Big Daddy?
Joey: I know, yeah. I feel like we're all growing up. Person named Wiener, God that kills me. (Laughs)
JOEY: Good, otherwise my watch would fall off. [laughs hysterically]
[Chandler, trying to make nice with Jack, laughs at his joke and points at Jack.]
[Everyone laughs]
(She laughs at the childhood memory. Phoebe smiles at being able to make her point.)
Mona: Huh, could you imagine. I go away for a few days, and come back, and my boyfriend is living with some woman he got pregnant! (Mona laughs yes again!)
Rachel: (laughs) Well, I mean, are you sure you want to go out with her? I mean that aint a pretty picture in the morning, yknow what I mean. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the night stand, y'know.
Ross: Its a good thing I didnt do it, because it sounds like it wouldve been a very expensive wedding. (Rachel laughs) Okay, good night
Richard: Oh, (laughs) that was the blind date that I told you about, she called and switched it to today.
Rachel: (reading what he wrote again) "Dear Rach, youre a great person. Sorry about your tiney-wienie." (Will laughs.)
Ross: Okay. (He leans in to kiss her again, but she leans back preventing him from making contact.) Wow, its-its 5:30 in the morning. (Rachel laughs) So, Id better get cracking on this baby.
Ross: (on the phone) Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. (Listens) A beard and a moustache. (Listens and laughs) Thank you. (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) No, she didn't think so. (Listens) I know it's like (turns and sees Rachel staring at him and quickly changes the subject) anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Oh! Okay. (Listens) Okay, thank you! (Rachel gets excited at his tone.) (Hangs up the phone) Yeah, it's not coming off.
Ross: I like it. I do, I think it's a Ten. (Chandler laughs.)
Monica: I might've said that. (Chandler laughs.) Why is that funny?
The Salesman: (laughs) You need these books.
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
Phoebe: Oh well y'know. (laughs)
Rachel: (laughs and pushes the chair back in) Yeah, well, y'know umm No honey, listen I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date them, but I think the way you do it is y'know you meet someone, become their friend, build a foundation, then you ask them out on a date. Don't hit on your existing friends!
Monica: Oh. (she laughs)
Rachel: Oh! (laughs) Thats fine.
Chandler: (laughs) No. No!
Mrs. Geller: (laughs) Im not freaking out.
Phoebe: Okay, oh and you know, if she gets upset, just scratch her tummy and give her a liver snout. (laughs and hangs up the phone)
Chandler: Oh, shes got you running errands, yknow, picking up wedding dresses (Laughs and makes like Indiana Jones and his whip) Wah-pah!
Rachel: (laughs) You ah, you didnt say Yes to that did you?
Phoebe: (laughs) Okay, quit down. (they start to kiss again)
Kathy: (laughs) Oh-oh-oh-oh!
Kathy: (laughs) What about the duck?
Emily: (laughs) Well, I should hope not. Ross knows better than that by now.
Chandler: (laughs) Right in there!
Chandler: so then the farmer says, "Thats not a cow and youre not milking it." (Everyone laughs.)
[Scene: Rosss bedroom, Rachel getting into bed while Ross is reading and laughs.]
Chandler: Oh that's so cool! Why would a cop come in here though? They don't serve donuts. (No one laughs.) Y'know what actually, could you discover the badge again? I think I can come up with something better than that.
Chandler: Gotcha! (laughs)
Monica: (laughs) Please, its a relief is what it is, is what it is.
(Chandler laughs without opening his mouth.)
(Rachel laughs hysterically for no reason.)
Chandler: (laughs) Okay, we have to talk. Im just getting out of a very serious relationship
Chandler: (laughs) No you cant.
(Rachel laughs hysterically.)
Emily: (laughs) Ross play rugby? I dont think so.
Rachel: Well, they never have any paper in there y'know. So my rule is no tissue, no tuschy. (Phoebe laughs and gets out.) Well, if everybodys going. (She gets out and starts to close the door.)
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
Rachel: (laughs) Yeah, okay, at ease solider!
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Phoebe: (laughs and picks up another lure) And this?
Ross: (laughs) Move in with me.
Ross: Okay here, have one of these peppers. Oh ha Oh God! So so hot! (Rubs his eyes.) Oh my(Laughs.) By the way, you dont want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.
Monica: (laughs) Okay.
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
Phoebe: So you do know who he is! (laughs, Ross stares at her) Sorry.
Rachel: (laughs) Oh my God! Oh, thats funny, I cant believe I did that.
Joey: No! No. Umm, just myself and if they dont like me for(Laughs.) Im sorry I couldnt even get through that.
Phoebe: (laughs) All I could think of was yknow, "Is he gonna kiss me? Is he gonna kiss me?"
Phoebe: (laughs) Thank you.
Monica: (laughs) Yes, I did! And you are welcome!
(She laughs and opens the door to reveal Rachel sitting on the bed.)
Ross: (laughs) That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasnt it?
Monica: (laughs) Thats okay.
Rachel: (laughs) I'm sorry, that's not funny.
Ross: I thought I heard voices! Hi Charlie! (Kisses her.) Hi Joey. (Hugs him.) And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. (Laughs.) I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. (He squeezes her hand.) Come, please come in. Come in.
Joey: (laughs, softly) Yeah, the stripper stole it.
(She laughs.)
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
Frank: (laughs) Not to me.
Emily: Oh, Liam. (Ross laughs and takes her back.)
Ross: (laughs as well, but for a different reason) Yeah, I didnt think of that.
(Phoebe laughs.)
Tim: I I-I dont know, but I would say its pretty good-o. (Phoebe laughs too hard.)
Phoebe: Okay. (She laughs harder.)
Phoebe: Hey, guys, you know what Larry would say? He would say, "See you ladle." (Laughs.)
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
Ross: Wha? Oh, come on. You didnt have tosaltwater taffy?! (Mona laughs) Thanks! This is interesting. You know, most people think this is made with sea water, but its actually made with, uh, salted fresh water. Thats not interesting.
Dr. Leedbetter: (laughs) A sandwich?
Dr. Leedbetter: (laughs) Oh, you know what?
(The woman who had tried to steal the washing machine walks by, and laughs.)
Joey: Yeah-yeah. And the craziest thing is that I just ate a whole pizza by myself! (Laughs)
Alice: (laughs) No. No. No. (Sits down.) Okay, now, see, I wanna name the girl baby Leslie, and Frank wants to name one of the boy babies Frank JR. JR.
Joey: (laughs) Thats cause sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.
Phoebe: (laughs) Please.
Rachel: (Laughs) Oh, me too.
Phoebe: Ohh, (laughs) umm, we kinda took a little detour on the way over here.
(Joey laughs then realizes the trick didn't work when Chandler hands him his card back.)
Janice: I love this artichoke thing! Oh, don't tell me what's in it, the diet starts tomorrow! (Laughs her Janice laugh)
Monica: I mean I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me. (Joey laughs and Monica glares at him.)
Gary: (laughs, then suddenly serious) What's up?
Rachel: (laughs) I cannot believe Ross is buying this!
Joey: (laughs) You're kidding right?
Rachel: (laughs) I knew that! I knew that! I was just messin with you too!
Kim: My late husband gave me that lighter. (Rachel laughs.) I'm not kidding.
Rachel: Hello! (She makes a face and the kid laughs harder. Finally, his parents drag him off.) Ohh, kids love me.
Ross: Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road, because in about five minutes Im gonna be saying (He laughs and points at Rachel sarcastically.)
Rachel: (laughs) What?! Are you crazy?
Paul: Okay. Ill give you one chance to change my mind. (Ross laughs in relief) You got one minute. (Ross suddenly gets worried.)