words in movies
(Everyone laughs.)
Chandler: So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? And Monica, with that snort when she laughs? I mean, what the hell is that thing? ...I accept all those flaws, why can't you accept me for this?
(Monica laughs and snorts.)
(She laughs at the childhood memory. Phoebe smiles at being able to make her point.)
Rachel: (laughs) Well, I mean, are you sure you want to go out with her? I mean that aint a pretty picture in the morning, yknow what I mean. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the night stand, y'know.
Mona: Huh, could you imagine. I go away for a few days, and come back, and my boyfriend is living with some woman he got pregnant! (Mona laughs yes again!)
Richard: Oh, (laughs) that was the blind date that I told you about, she called and switched it to today.
Ross: I like it. I do, I think it's a Ten. (Chandler laughs.)
Rachel: (reading what he wrote again) "Dear Rach, youre a great person. Sorry about your tiney-wienie." (Will laughs.)
Ross: Its a good thing I didnt do it, because it sounds like it wouldve been a very expensive wedding. (Rachel laughs) Okay, good night
Ross: Okay. (He leans in to kiss her again, but she leans back preventing him from making contact.) Wow, its-its 5:30 in the morning. (Rachel laughs) So, Id better get cracking on this baby.
Monica: I might've said that. (Chandler laughs.) Why is that funny?
Ross: (on the phone) Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. (Listens) A beard and a moustache. (Listens and laughs) Thank you. (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) No, she didn't think so. (Listens) I know it's like (turns and sees Rachel staring at him and quickly changes the subject) anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Oh! Okay. (Listens) Okay, thank you! (Rachel gets excited at his tone.) (Hangs up the phone) Yeah, it's not coming off.
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
Monica: Oh. (she laughs)
Phoebe: Oh well y'know. (laughs)
Phoebe: Okay, oh and you know, if she gets upset, just scratch her tummy and give her a liver snout. (laughs and hangs up the phone)
Rachel: (laughs and pushes the chair back in) Yeah, well, y'know umm No honey, listen I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date them, but I think the way you do it is y'know you meet someone, become their friend, build a foundation, then you ask them out on a date. Don't hit on your existing friends!
Chandler: Oh, shes got you running errands, yknow, picking up wedding dresses (Laughs and makes like Indiana Jones and his whip) Wah-pah!
Rachel: (laughs) You ah, you didnt say Yes to that did you?
Chandler: (laughs) No. No!
Rachel: Oh! (laughs) Thats fine.
Kathy: (laughs) What about the duck?
Mrs. Geller: (laughs) Im not freaking out.
The Salesman: (laughs) You need these books.
Kathy: (laughs) Oh-oh-oh-oh!
Phoebe: (laughs) Okay, quit down. (they start to kiss again)
Chandler: (laughs) Right in there!
[Scene: Rosss bedroom, Rachel getting into bed while Ross is reading and laughs.]
Emily: (laughs) Well, I should hope not. Ross knows better than that by now.
Chandler: Gotcha! (laughs)
Chandler: Oh that's so cool! Why would a cop come in here though? They don't serve donuts. (No one laughs.) Y'know what actually, could you discover the badge again? I think I can come up with something better than that.
Monica: (laughs) Please, its a relief is what it is, is what it is.
Chandler: (laughs) No you cant.
Chandler: so then the farmer says, "Thats not a cow and youre not milking it." (Everyone laughs.)
(Chandler laughs without opening his mouth.)
(Rachel laughs hysterically for no reason.)
Phoebe: (laughs and picks up another lure) And this?
Chandler: (laughs) Okay, we have to talk. Im just getting out of a very serious relationship
Rachel: Well, they never have any paper in there y'know. So my rule is no tissue, no tuschy. (Phoebe laughs and gets out.) Well, if everybodys going. (She gets out and starts to close the door.)
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
(Rachel laughs hysterically.)
Emily: (laughs) Ross play rugby? I dont think so.
Rachel: (laughs) Yeah, okay, at ease solider!
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Ross: Okay here, have one of these peppers. Oh ha Oh God! So so hot! (Rubs his eyes.) Oh my(Laughs.) By the way, you dont want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.
Phoebe: So you do know who he is! (laughs, Ross stares at her) Sorry.
Monica: (laughs) Okay.
Ross: (laughs) Move in with me.
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
Phoebe: (laughs) Thank you.
Rachel: (laughs) Oh my God! Oh, thats funny, I cant believe I did that.
Phoebe: (laughs) All I could think of was yknow, "Is he gonna kiss me? Is he gonna kiss me?"
Joey: No! No. Umm, just myself and if they dont like me for(Laughs.) Im sorry I couldnt even get through that.
Monica: (laughs) Yes, I did! And you are welcome!
Ross: I thought I heard voices! Hi Charlie! (Kisses her.) Hi Joey. (Hugs him.) And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. (Laughs.) I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. (He squeezes her hand.) Come, please come in. Come in.
Ross: (laughs) That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasnt it?
(She laughs and opens the door to reveal Rachel sitting on the bed.)
Monica: (laughs) Thats okay.
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
Frank: (laughs) Not to me.
Joey: (laughs, softly) Yeah, the stripper stole it.
Rachel: (laughs) I'm sorry, that's not funny.
(She laughs.)
Emily: Oh, Liam. (Ross laughs and takes her back.)
Ross: (laughs as well, but for a different reason) Yeah, I didnt think of that.
Tim: I I-I dont know, but I would say its pretty good-o. (Phoebe laughs too hard.)
Phoebe: (laughs) Please.
Phoebe: Hey, guys, you know what Larry would say? He would say, "See you ladle." (Laughs.)
Ross: Wha? Oh, come on. You didnt have tosaltwater taffy?! (Mona laughs) Thanks! This is interesting. You know, most people think this is made with sea water, but its actually made with, uh, salted fresh water. Thats not interesting.
(The woman who had tried to steal the washing machine walks by, and laughs.)
Joey: Yeah-yeah. And the craziest thing is that I just ate a whole pizza by myself! (Laughs)
Dr. Leedbetter: (laughs) Oh, you know what?
Joey: (laughs) Thats cause sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.
(Phoebe laughs.)
Phoebe: Okay. (She laughs harder.)
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
Dr. Leedbetter: (laughs) A sandwich?
Janice: I love this artichoke thing! Oh, don't tell me what's in it, the diet starts tomorrow! (Laughs her Janice laugh)
Alice: (laughs) No. No. No. (Sits down.) Okay, now, see, I wanna name the girl baby Leslie, and Frank wants to name one of the boy babies Frank JR. JR.
Rachel: (Laughs) Oh, me too.
(Joey laughs then realizes the trick didn't work when Chandler hands him his card back.)
Phoebe: Ohh, (laughs) umm, we kinda took a little detour on the way over here.
Kim: My late husband gave me that lighter. (Rachel laughs.) I'm not kidding.
Rachel: (laughs) I knew that! I knew that! I was just messin with you too!
Ross: Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road, because in about five minutes Im gonna be saying (He laughs and points at Rachel sarcastically.)
Rachel: Hello! (She makes a face and the kid laughs harder. Finally, his parents drag him off.) Ohh, kids love me.
Paul: Okay. Ill give you one chance to change my mind. (Ross laughs in relief) You got one minute. (Ross suddenly gets worried.)
Gary: (laughs, then suddenly serious) What's up?
Rachel: (laughs) I cannot believe Ross is buying this!
Joey: (laughs) You're kidding right?
Rachel: (laughs) What?! Are you crazy?
Jill: (laughs) Me too.
Monica: I mean I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me. (Joey laughs and Monica glares at him.)
Rachel: Ohh! Oh God! (Laughs her way into the living room.)
Rachel: Oh wow. Why dont we just take me (Grabs her pin) and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. (Puts her pin at the bar and laughs. Monica just glares at her.) These pins arent for playing are they?
Rachel: Whoa! (Laughs) Y'know what Katie? I gotta tell ya I-I-I-I think you are the one who is too much. (She punches Katie back.)
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Woman No. 1: (laughs) No, I hate cats.
Pete: I know Im no John Bon Jovi, (Monica laughs) or someone who find attractive, Im just, I think, y'know, that you might end up feeling differently.
(Phoebe laughs, then stops to think about it. Ross enters.)
Ross: Rach, come on, if you think about it, its actually kinda funny. (He laughs, and he laughs alone.) Okay, maybe its best not to think about it.
(Joey laughs nervously and goes to his bedroom.)