words in movies
Chandler: (laughs) Well, don�t believe everything you hear, Ken. (both turning away to files) But yeah, that�s true. Alright, let�s get started, by take a look at last quarter�s figures. (The female next to Chandler starts smoking, towards her:) Ah, Claudia, aren�t you supposed to blow smoke up the bosses� ass?
(She laughs at the childhood memory. Phoebe smiles at being able to make her point.)
Rachel: (laughs) Well, I mean, are you sure you want to go out with her? I mean that aint a pretty picture in the morning, yknow what I mean. That wig all in disarray, and boobs flung over the night stand, y'know.
Mona: Huh, could you imagine. I go away for a few days, and come back, and my boyfriend is living with some woman he got pregnant! (Mona laughs yes again!)
Richard: Oh, (laughs) that was the blind date that I told you about, she called and switched it to today.
Ross: I like it. I do, I think it's a Ten. (Chandler laughs.)
Rachel: (reading what he wrote again) "Dear Rach, youre a great person. Sorry about your tiney-wienie." (Will laughs.)
Monica: I might've said that. (Chandler laughs.) Why is that funny?
Ross: Okay. (He leans in to kiss her again, but she leans back preventing him from making contact.) Wow, its-its 5:30 in the morning. (Rachel laughs) So, Id better get cracking on this baby.
Chandler: Oh, shes got you running errands, yknow, picking up wedding dresses (Laughs and makes like Indiana Jones and his whip) Wah-pah!
Ross: (on the phone) Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. (Listens) A beard and a moustache. (Listens and laughs) Thank you. (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) No, she didn't think so. (Listens) I know it's like (turns and sees Rachel staring at him and quickly changes the subject) anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Oh! Okay. (Listens) Okay, thank you! (Rachel gets excited at his tone.) (Hangs up the phone) Yeah, it's not coming off.
Phoebe: Oh well y'know. (laughs)
Phoebe: Okay, oh and you know, if she gets upset, just scratch her tummy and give her a liver snout. (laughs and hangs up the phone)
Ross: Its a good thing I didnt do it, because it sounds like it wouldve been a very expensive wedding. (Rachel laughs) Okay, good night
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
Rachel: (laughs and pushes the chair back in) Yeah, well, y'know umm No honey, listen I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date them, but I think the way you do it is y'know you meet someone, become their friend, build a foundation, then you ask them out on a date. Don't hit on your existing friends!
Monica: Oh. (she laughs)
Rachel: (laughs) You ah, you didnt say Yes to that did you?
Chandler: (laughs) No. No!
Rachel: Oh! (laughs) Thats fine.
Kathy: (laughs) What about the duck?
Mrs. Geller: (laughs) Im not freaking out.
The Salesman: (laughs) You need these books.
Phoebe: (laughs) Okay, quit down. (they start to kiss again)
Kathy: (laughs) Oh-oh-oh-oh!
[Scene: Rosss bedroom, Rachel getting into bed while Ross is reading and laughs.]
Chandler: (laughs) Right in there!
Emily: (laughs) Well, I should hope not. Ross knows better than that by now.
Chandler: Gotcha! (laughs)
Chandler: Oh that's so cool! Why would a cop come in here though? They don't serve donuts. (No one laughs.) Y'know what actually, could you discover the badge again? I think I can come up with something better than that.
Chandler: so then the farmer says, "Thats not a cow and youre not milking it." (Everyone laughs.)
Monica: (laughs) Please, its a relief is what it is, is what it is.
(Rachel laughs hysterically for no reason.)
(Chandler laughs without opening his mouth.)
Chandler: (laughs) No you cant.
Chandler: (laughs) Okay, we have to talk. Im just getting out of a very serious relationship
Rachel: Well, they never have any paper in there y'know. So my rule is no tissue, no tuschy. (Phoebe laughs and gets out.) Well, if everybodys going. (She gets out and starts to close the door.)
Emily: (laughs) Ross play rugby? I dont think so.
Phoebe: (laughs and picks up another lure) And this?
Joey: Ross! (Laughs) Theyre gonna kill you!
(Rachel laughs hysterically.)
Rachel: (laughs) Yeah, okay, at ease solider!
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Ross: Okay here, have one of these peppers. Oh ha Oh God! So so hot! (Rubs his eyes.) Oh my(Laughs.) By the way, you dont want to touch the pepper and then touch your eye.
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
Ross: (laughs) Move in with me.
Phoebe: (laughs) All I could think of was yknow, "Is he gonna kiss me? Is he gonna kiss me?"
Phoebe: So you do know who he is! (laughs, Ross stares at her) Sorry.
Monica: (laughs) Okay.
Rachel: (laughs) Oh my God! Oh, thats funny, I cant believe I did that.
Phoebe: (laughs) Thank you.
Ross: (laughs) That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasnt it?
Monica: (laughs) Yes, I did! And you are welcome!
Joey: No! No. Umm, just myself and if they dont like me for(Laughs.) Im sorry I couldnt even get through that.
(She laughs and opens the door to reveal Rachel sitting on the bed.)
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
Ross: I thought I heard voices! Hi Charlie! (Kisses her.) Hi Joey. (Hugs him.) And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. (Laughs.) I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. (He squeezes her hand.) Come, please come in. Come in.
Rachel: (laughs) I'm sorry, that's not funny.
Frank: (laughs) Not to me.
(She laughs.)
Emily: Oh, Liam. (Ross laughs and takes her back.)
Monica: (laughs) Thats okay.
Joey: (laughs, softly) Yeah, the stripper stole it.
Ross: (laughs as well, but for a different reason) Yeah, I didnt think of that.
(Phoebe laughs.)
Tim: I I-I dont know, but I would say its pretty good-o. (Phoebe laughs too hard.)
Phoebe: Okay. (She laughs harder.)
Dr. Leedbetter: (laughs) A sandwich?
(Monica is taking a drink as Ross says that, laughs, and snorts her drink.)
Phoebe: Hey, guys, you know what Larry would say? He would say, "See you ladle." (Laughs.)
(The woman who had tried to steal the washing machine walks by, and laughs.)
Ross: Wha? Oh, come on. You didnt have tosaltwater taffy?! (Mona laughs) Thanks! This is interesting. You know, most people think this is made with sea water, but its actually made with, uh, salted fresh water. Thats not interesting.
Joey: Yeah-yeah. And the craziest thing is that I just ate a whole pizza by myself! (Laughs)
Rachel: (Laughs) Oh, me too.
Joey: (laughs) Thats cause sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.
Phoebe: (laughs) Please.
Alice: (laughs) No. No. No. (Sits down.) Okay, now, see, I wanna name the girl baby Leslie, and Frank wants to name one of the boy babies Frank JR. JR.
Phoebe: Ohh, (laughs) umm, we kinda took a little detour on the way over here.
Dr. Leedbetter: (laughs) Oh, you know what?
Janice: I love this artichoke thing! Oh, don't tell me what's in it, the diet starts tomorrow! (Laughs her Janice laugh)
(Joey laughs then realizes the trick didn't work when Chandler hands him his card back.)
Rachel: Hello! (She makes a face and the kid laughs harder. Finally, his parents drag him off.) Ohh, kids love me.
Rachel: (laughs) I knew that! I knew that! I was just messin with you too!
Kim: My late husband gave me that lighter. (Rachel laughs.) I'm not kidding.
Gary: (laughs, then suddenly serious) What's up?
Ross: Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road, because in about five minutes Im gonna be saying (He laughs and points at Rachel sarcastically.)
Rachel: Whoa! (Laughs) Y'know what Katie? I gotta tell ya I-I-I-I think you are the one who is too much. (She punches Katie back.)
Rachel: (laughs) What?! Are you crazy?
Paul: Okay. Ill give you one chance to change my mind. (Ross laughs in relief) You got one minute. (Ross suddenly gets worried.)
Rachel: Ohh! Oh God! (Laughs her way into the living room.)
Rachel: Oh wow. Why dont we just take me (Grabs her pin) and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. (Puts her pin at the bar and laughs. Monica just glares at her.) These pins arent for playing are they?
Rachel: (laughs) I cannot believe Ross is buying this!
Joey: (laughs) You're kidding right?
Monica: I mean I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me. (Joey laughs and Monica glares at him.)
Ross: Rach, come on, if you think about it, its actually kinda funny. (He laughs, and he laughs alone.) Okay, maybe its best not to think about it.
Chandler: Hey ladies! What are you in here for? (Laughs at his joke.)
(Joey laughs nervously and goes to his bedroom.)
Monica: I know. Lets try a look of far off wonderment. Okay, well-well gaze into our future and well think about our marriage and the days to come. (Chandler is still not getting it.) Chandler! What is the matter with your face?! I mean this picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron!" (The photographer laughs.) Hey! Dont laugh at him! Hes my drowning moron!
(Phoebe laughs, then stops to think about it. Ross enters.)
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Woman No. 1: (laughs) No, I hate cats.