words in movies
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) Okay, sperm donor number 03815, come on down! Okay, he's 6'2", 170 pounds, and he describes himself as a male Geena Davis.
Roy: Well, look - it's not my fault if you're too uptight to appreciate the male form in all it's glory.
Male Jeweler: Okay, I can let it go at eight.
Soothing male voice: ..a sound Mom and Dad never forget. For this after all, is the miracle of birth.
Male Guest: (to the Maitre d') Good evening. (Shakes his hand)
Ross: Look, I-I know how miserable you are, I wish there was something I can do. I mean I wish I were a seahorse. (She glares at him) Because with seahorses its the male, they carry the babies. And then also umm, Id be far away in the sea. (He sits back down.)
Mrs. Bing: Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! You have got yourself a book.
[Scene: At the tanning salon. Ross and a male assistant are walking through a hall]
Chandler: You know what's not funny? Male Pattern Baldness (Monica stretches her neck to look behind Zack's head and then gives Chandler an "ok" sign)
Ross: It was no big deal. We-we said that the rumor was that umm you had both male and female reproductive parts.
Male Jeweler: (to the female jeweler) Wheres the 1920s princess cut ring.
Rachel: They're male nurses.
Chandler: Really? Male nurses?
Male Nurse: Rachel.
The Presenter: in the category of Favorite Returning Male Character the nominees are: John Wheeler from General Hospital (Applause), Gavin Grant from The Young and the Restless (Applause), Dunkin Harrington from Passions (Applause), and Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives (Applause). And the Soapie goes to (She opens the envelope) Gavin Grant from The Young and the Restless!
PHOEBE: OK. Ooh, OK, you gotta give me a second, I wanna get this just right. [she sticks out her gut, clears her throat and sniffs her nose and then in her best male voice. . .] Dude, 11 o'clock, totally hot babe checkin' you out. That was really good, I think I'm ready for my penis now.
Ross: Uhm... Rachel and I hired a male nanny. (Joey makes a gesture and sound like "Can you believe that?")
(A male nurse enters.)
Male Nurse: Hey!
Chandler: So he has to be a male who has at least $50.
Male Jeweler: 8,600.
Male Jeweler: A tad.
Male Jeweler: Can I help you?
Male Student: Sorry!
Ross: Hey...! Rachel and I hired a male nanny.
Male Jeweler: (ignoring her) How would you like to pay?
(She lets her hair down and whips her hair around in Baywatch-esque slow motion with a Barry White song in the background. Chandler needless to say cant help but stare along with the rest of the male and lesbian population of North America.)
Male Jeweler: (angrily) Are you interested in this ring?!
Ross: Did Rachel tell you we hired a male nanny?
[Scene: The Library, Ross enters and heads to the desk to talk to the male librarian on duty.]
A Male Customer: Hey, thats weird, todays my birthday too!
Chandler: You know, I don't mind a... male nanny, but I do draw the line at a male wetnurse. (again they laugh, even more fake than before)
Announcer: Presenting the award for Favorite Returning Male Character is McKensize
Male Jeweler: Okay. (Holds out the ring, deadpan.) Will you marry me?
Phoebe: Okay umm, Id also like to try on the tiara. (The male jeweler hands it to her.) Oh yeah. Okay. (Puts it on.) (To the jeweler) What do you think, too much?
Chandler: Well maybe you're going about this the wrong way. You know I mean think about it. Single white male, divorced three times,two illegitimate children. The personal ad writes itself....
Roy, the male stripper: (coughs) Whoo, that's a lot of stairs!
Male Jeweler: Uh yes, I have these two rather beautiful $5 bills. (Holds them up from his pocket.)
Male Jeweler: This ring is from the 1920s, its a one and a half carat diamond with sapphires on either side.