words in movies
Phoebe: Oooh! I have something you can do! I have this new massage client... Steve? (pause) Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant and he's looking for a head chef.
[Scene: Phoebe's massage parlour, she has Steve on the table, and is giving him an extra-painful massage.]
[Scene: Phoebe's Apartment, Phoebe is giving Monica another massage.]
Phoebe: Well, it's this guy I used to massage. And by massage, I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me.
[Scene: Heeling Hands Inc., Phoebes work, she is giving a massage to the guy, Rick, she likes.]
Phoebe: No, you can't go there! You know how I feel about these "big massage places"! They're putting people like me out of business!
Charlie: (while Joey's giving her a massage) Oh! That feels sooo good!
Phoebe: Well, I can't give you a massage, because my licence has been revoked again!
Phoebe: (pushes her head back down) Time for your scalp massage!
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, he is giving Monica a massage.]
Paolo: Uh, Racquela tell me you massage, eh?
Monica: Oh God Phoebe!! (Phoebe covers one ear.) Oh thats it! Thats it! Right there! Oh! (Tries to cover the other ear.) Ooooh-oooh-ooooh (Covers both ears and continues the massage with her elbows.)
Phoebe: Why wont you let me massage you?
Phoebe: Just for some short-term-work. You know, until I get back some of my massage clients.
Rachel: How would you like to sit in a chair that fully reclines, has a rolling massage, and speakers in the head rest?
Phoebe: Well, he came in for a massage, and everything was fine until. (A flashback starts Paolo, lying on massage table, moving his hands up Phoebe's legs.)
[Scene: Phoebe's Massage Parlor, Phoebe's assistant is telling her about the changes to her schedule.]
PHOEBE: Yeah, it's just so strange. I mean, she probably woke up today and thought, "ok, I'll have some breakfast, and then I'll take a little walk, and then I'll have my massage." Little did she know God was thinking, "Ok, but that's it." Oh, but the weirdest thing was, ok, I was cleansing her aura when she died, and when the spirit left her body, I don't think it went very far.
Phoebe: Oh. (Picks it up.) Its just so unexpected! I I uh Boy Ill tell you its just such an honor to be nominated for a Nobel Prize and yknow to win one for a massage. Especially after having just won a Tony award for best actress in
Phoebe: Well its justits one of those situations that I just hate. Yknow? A massage client gave me three tickets to the Helmet-Pelts exhibit at the Morgan Chase museum.
Phoebe: (In a strange heavy accent) Hello "ja", it's time for your massage, ja! Put your face in the hole.
Phoebe: Yeah, I had a massage client who worked there and-and he said I had a knack for stocks.
Frank: You-you work at one of those massage parlors?
Phoebe: Well my guy is spectacular. Okay? Hes a massage client and one time umm, when he was on the table, I looked at it. And I mean all of it.
Phoebe: But that woman can't know I work here. She's a friend of mine and I made this big stink about how awful this massage chains are.
Phoebe: (entering, carrying her massage table) Hi!
Phoebe: Ohh, Im getting too pregnant for this, lugging around a stupid massage table. Yknow, I have to find a job where I carrying a smaller table. (She goes over and stands in front of the TV.)
(She goes over and tries to give Phoebe a massage. Phoebe yelps in pain and jumps away from her.)
Phoebe: My massage client, Arthur? His daughter called and said that some guy that worked for me gave him a really weird massage this afternoon.
Rachel: Ah, why, now I can't get a massage? There are so many things that she disapproves of! I can't eat veal, I can't wear fur, I can't go hunting...
Chandler: All right, then massage me up right nice!
Patrick: Yknow what Phoebe? This isnt really worth the free massage.
Phoebe: Im, uhh, making up flyers trying to get new massage clients. So, can I come to Bloomingdales and use the copy machine.
Rachel: Oh, hi. I have a massage appointment under Rachel Green, and here is my gift certificate.
Ross: Okay! Now, Im going to touch you. (He does so, very gingerly.) Ohh, thats soft. (He starts poking him and notices his salad spoons and starts to massage him with those.)
Ross: (incredulous) I gave him an extremely professional massage!
[Scene: Healing Hands, Inc., Phoebe is giving Rick a massage.]
Ross: Okay, so it wasnt uh, a traditional massage. But I did give him accu-pressure with a pair of chopsticks. And, and I gently exfoliated him with, with a mop.
(She starts the massage, only she is doing extremely hard and Chandler is gasping in pain.)
(Chandler lets her into the apartment and reveals that Monica is getting a massage from another woman.)
Chandler: (coming all the way in) Listen, I just wanted to apologize about this afternoon and the whole massage thing. Y'know? I-I really like 'em.
Monica: Oh, Nancy Thompson from Phoebes old massage place is getting fired.
Phoebe's Assistant: We've got a couple changes in your schedule. Your 4:00 herbal massage has been pushed back to 4:30 and Miss Somerfield canceled her 5:30 shiatsu.
Phoebe: (no accent) Uhm... Okay, well, allright, uhm... Originally I'm from upstate, but uhm... then my mom killed herself and my stepdad went to prison, so... I just moved to the city where uhm... I actually lived in a burned out Buick LeSabre for a while... (frowns are received) which was okay, that was okay, until uhm... I got hepatitis, you know, 'cause this pimp spit in my mouth and... but I... I got over it and uhm... anyway, now I'm uhm... a freelance massage therapist, uhm... which, you know, isn't always steady money but at least I don't pay taxes, huh... (everyone in the room finds it a bit surreal, which Phoebe realises and starts to talk in the accent again) So... where does everyone summer?
Rachel: Yes you do, if you're going to make me feel guilty for getting a free massage!
Ross: Phoebe, you cant massage people in my apartment!
Receptionist: Ok well, I'll call you as soon as your massage therapist is ready.
Chandler: Uh, what about yknow the massage thing? That never gave you a heart attack.
Phoebe: Pay the caterer! Look, I've had a lot of jobs, okay, and there are some people who just always try to get out of paying. It's either, you know, "that massage wasn't long enough, or, "I don't recognize any of those songs," or, you know, "these sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl!"
Phoebe: Ooh-Ooh! I did it! I did it! I figured out a way to make money! Im gonna open up my own massage place and Franks gonna help me! And! We can work it around his schedule so he doesnt have to quit school!
Phoebe: Oh my God! Youre getting a massage! You never let me massage you!!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his massage client is on the table and Ross is reluctantly starting his massage. He spreads some lotion in his hands, and doesnt like it.]
Phoebe: Oh, my first massage today is this incredibly gorgeous guy, and every time I see him I just want to do things to him that Im not allowed to charge for.
Monica: I gotta tell you, yesterday was amazing. That massage felt so good!
Phoebe: Ooh, oh no! I have to go! I have a massage appointment.
[Scene: Phoebe's Apartment, Monica is lying on the massage table waiting for Phoebe.]
Phoebe: (points to David) And you thanks for the face massage. Thank you.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is giving Joey a massage as Rachel enters.]
Monica: Huh. So you're saying like umm, if there was an award for the best bad massage, well who would get that?
[Scene: SPA massage center, Rachel enters]
Monica: (indignant) I give good massages! (Ross laughs.) I used to give them to Rachel all the time before she got allergic! And-and-and Chandler loves them! Watch! (She starts giving Chandler a massage.)
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Monica: Oh, you can't show Phoebe this! She hates those corporate massage chains.
Monica: What about your massage client?
Phoebe: Wh.. what? No wait, you don't get to leave! I've got a massage client waiting outside my door any minute!
Rachel: Wow, a Swedish massage from a real Swedish person. (Puts her head in the hole and Phoebe enters)
PHOEBE: Um, no, huh-uh. One of my clients died on the massage table today.
Phoebe: Well, he came in for a massage and everything was fine until... (The flashback shows Paulo lying face down on the massage table and slowly moving his hands up Phoebe's legs and grabbing her butt.)
Phoebe: And you know, I have a massage client soon.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Phoebe has moved in and has a massage client on her table shes set up in the living room. Ross enters and is shocked to see a naked man lying on the table.]
Phoebe: (through the door, with a Scottish accent) Are you ready for your Scottish massage? Put your face in the hole, lassy.
Phoebe: (in a soothing voice) Great, lets begin. (She starts the massage.) Hows the pressure?
Phoebe: Oh hi Rita! Good! (to Mike) Oh, Rita's a massage client.
(The camera zooms in on the clock on the wall and it reads a quarter after one. Time lapse. The clock now reads 3:30, and Phoebe is still giving Rick his massage.)
[Scene: Lara and Jenis Massage, Phoebe is interviewing for a job.]
Phoebe: Oh, its my fault?! You didnt have to massage him! You couldve sent him away! You couldve not rolled Tonka trucks up and down his back!