words in movies
Joey: Dude-dude, who would you rather have kiss your sister, me or Chandler?
Joey: So? Who would you rather have kiss you, me or Chandler?
Chandler: I'll take that bet my friend. And you know what, paying me the 50 bucks could be the "new thing you do that day!" (Ross looks at him.) And it starts right now!
Phoebe: Do you want me to teach you? I'm a great teacher.
Phoebe: Well, I taught me and I love me.
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
Phoebe: Give me your hands. (He does and she smells his left hand.) Strings. Gimme it! (He gives her his right hand and she smells it as well.) Pick. Do you want to learn to play guitar?
Ross: (talking to himself) My God! These pants are burning up! (He's still wearing the leather pants.) (She snuggles closer.) Oh come on, she wants to snuggle now! What is she trying to kill me? It's like a volcano in here! (Out loud.) Are you hot?
Ross: Okay, it must just be me then.
Phoebe: Fine! You go learn from your qualified instructor! But don't come crying to me when everyone's sick and tired of hearing you play Bad, Bad Leroy Brown!!
Ross: Well, you can help me!
Joey: (To Ross) Uh, Rachel's here, so good luck man, let me know how it works out. (He hangs up the phone and strands Ross in the bathroom.)
Rachel: Oh my God, it's so huge, but you just have to promise me that you cannot tell anyone.
Ross: Look at me! (Chandler squeaks in an attempt not to make fun of him.)
Chandler: Oh yeah, me too. Y'know if this shirt is dirty. (Smells it.) Yep.
Rachel: (quietly) Yeah. Well. (Pause.) Hey uh Joe, would mind going over to Chandler's bedroom and get that book back that he borrowed from me?
Joey: Now? You want me to go over there now?
Rachel: Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
Rachel: Ohhh, yeah, me too.
Amy: My boyfriend canceled on me. I mean.. I I finally find a real relationship. I mean, someone that I can spend this day with and then his wife comes back into town. I swear, its almost not worth dating married guys.
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
Joey: So! Stryker Remoray huh? When do you want me to start?
Joey: Why not? Come on! Just, just close your eyes and tell me what you'd like to be doing right now.
Tag: Gotcha. Thanks again for meeting with me. (Starts to leave.)
Monica: Excuse me Mr. Mexico.
Joey: Oh well listen, anyway shes directing the new Al Pacino movie. You gotta get me an audition!
Monica: Yes it is! You saw me wearing it!
Phoebe: Lets see. (Looking at the picture) Oh my God! Oh But no! No! You cant-you cant hire him, because thatits not professional. Umm, this is for me (The picture) yes? Thanks. (Puts it in her pocket.)
Chandler: Hey, look, what do you want from me?
Joey: Because they wanted me to audition!
Monica: Well, if you had kept listening, you-you would have heard me call him Mr. Big (Thinks) ot.
Monica: Thats right! You lose sucker!! (Pause) Please still marry me.
Joey: (smiling) I don't know. This little, old lady lives for my career. When they dumped me off of Days of Our Lives she almost died.
Phoebe: Ohh, let me see it! Let me see your hand! (Chandler is frantically trying to wave them off.)
Phoebe: (entering) Hi! It's me. And soup. (to Rachel) Hey, I just saw Josh, he looks so yummy in your leather jacket.
Chandler: Borrow money from me?
Joey: I know, Monica told me.
Parker: No, no, no wait! Dont tell me. Let me guess. (Points as he says their names) Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel and, Im sorry Phoebe didnt mention you. (Chandler makes a face) Chandler, Im kidding all ready youre my favorite!
Tag: Hey Joey, you wanted to talk to me?
Joey: I dont know. You uh, you got something for me?
Joanna: I seem to have had a slight office mishap. Could you please get the key off the back of the door for me.
Tag: Uh-huh! Let me ask you something?
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
Monica: Hey guys check it out! My mom sent me the paper!
Rachel: Me too!
Chandler: (To Ross) I dont care, she slept with me.
Joey: Just casually slip it in, yknow lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, Im a lonerNo! An outlaw! Tell her she doesnt want to get mixed up with the likes of me.
Rachel: No! You gotta get me out of here Phoebe! These bargain shoppers are crazy!
Chandler: Come on, let me see that smile.
Joey: (looking around) You got me. I dont
Ross: Well you shouldnt be. Believe me I wouldnt want to be the guy whos up against you. (Chandler laughs.) I mean that doofus is going to lose!
Rachel: Oh, great could you make me four copies of those?
Rachel: I mean maybe you didnt hear about a serious relationship called me and Joshua?
Chandler: Ok, you can not do this to me.
Jill: Hey! You have no right to tell me what to do.
Rachel: Well excuse me, my fashion-impaired friends, I am here to tell you that hats are back.
Julie: Thats why you broke up with me?
Chandler: (she opens the door) Julie hi! Chandler Bing, I, I guess you remember me.
Phoebe: Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?!
Ross: Marcel is an illegal exotic animal. I'm not allowed to have him in the city. If they find him, they'll take him away from me.
Phoebe: No! Coins hate me!
Ross: Well, oh, Im sorry your car broke down Pheebs, but Im a little too busy with some of my real friends right now, but please call to let me know you got home safely okay?
Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
RACHEL: OK, Ross, listen to me, I am not yours to save.
Joey: Well, I was Dr. Drake Remoray, Strykers twin brother. I mean, who looks more me than me right?
Joey: Hey Ross, will you pass me that knife?
Monica: Really? Okay, so why dont you tell me what happened to Ross Junior year at Disneyland?
Erica: (To Chandler) We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob (Monica smiles at Chandler and his he looks shocked and scared, getting no support from his wife)
Rachel: What-what?! Youre gonna leave this person with me?!
Monica: I hear ya. Excuse me for just a second! (Gets up and heads for the bathroom as that annoying Gotta-win-at-all-costs-super-competitive thing kicks in again.)
Julie: (To Rachel) Oh, you're losin' your apron here, let me get it. There you go. (Ties it back up for her)
Chandler: You didnt bring me here to do that, did you?
Phoebe: Well, hes never coming back! Okay? You just cost me eight dollars a week!
Joey: Well, why dont you tell me what youre supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell cant figure it out! I talk to you and nothin. You look at me, and its nothin. (He kisses her) Nothing.
Ross: Well if it doesnt matter to her, it doesnt matter to me! (to Paul) Still not yelling!
Joey: (looking between the pages and him) Audition? I thought you were gonna offer me the part.
Phoebe: The coins have finally forgiven me!
Joey: You wont boss me around anymore?
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
Joey: Me too. I mean I havent thought at all about how I put myself out there and said all that stuff and how you didnt feel the same way about me and-and how it was really awkward.
ROSS: Dad, she won't want to go with me.
Joey: All right, look! If this is just a big joke to you, then forget about it, all right?! This means something to me! And if it doesnt mean anything to you, then you should get out of there, otherwise youre just an idiot in a box!
Joey: Yeah, its this great part, this boxer named Nick. And Im so, so right for it, y'know, hes just like me. Except hes a boxer, and has an evil twin.
Phoebe: Wow! This reminds me of the time when I was umm, living on the street and this guy offered to buy me food if I slept with him.
Ross: No, just give me another minute.
Monica: Did you just flick me?
Ross: Okay, are you mad at me because my hair gel smells?
Tag: Hey, thanks for talking to me.
Joey: No, no, I didnt mean you. But, you believed me, huh?
Melanie: I don't know, I-I guess I just had you pegged as one of those guys who're always 'me, me, me.' But you... you're a giver. You're like the most generous man I ever met. I mean... you're practically a woman.
Tag: Thanks for having me over, you guys.
Ross: You had no right to tell me you ever had feelings for me.
Rachel: Honey, its so sweet that you want me to stay, but I-I cant do that to you. I mean it would disrupt your entire life.
Dana: Absolutely! But you-you would really feel better about me rejecting you if your actor friend can audition for my movie?
Rachel: Hmm. Do you thinkCould you tell me if shes hanging in, in a one bedroom or a two?
Rachel: (entering, angrily) Ugh, that was so embarrassing! I can't believe you let me go on and on like that!
Rachel: All right, you're the boss. I guess I gotta do what you tell me.
Ross: Eh-whExcuse me?
CHANDLER: Well, you want me to uh, clench anything, or-... Susie? Susie.
Ross: By the way, the week before your wedding you may not see a lot of me. (She glares at him and he quickly makes his way to Phoebes room.)
Monica: Okay, stop it Phoebe, youre getting me all tingly.
The Woman: Please, cant you help me out?
Rachel: Well, yknow what? I go see my doctor tomorrow, Ill ask her about this. Maybe she can give me a pill or something.
Joey: I've been trying for two days. When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk. I can't believe she's blowin' me off.
MONICA: Alright, before I tell you, uh, why don't you tell me how many women you've been with.
Monica: Hey, umm, so listen umm, my friends were telling me a little about this ah, ultimate fighting thing and it, well it sounds really dangerous. I-I dont want you to get hurt, cause I kinda like you.
CHANDLER: Yes, how 'bout a verse of Killing Me Softly. You're gonna sneeze on my fish, aren't you?
Rachel: Monica, what did you mean before when you said you didnt want to talk to anyone, especially me?
PHOE: Yeah, so I said, "OK, relax please," y'know, I mean, sex can be just about two people right there in the moment, y'know, it's, if he wants to see me again he can call and if not, that's fine too. So after a looooot of talking. . . I convinced him.
Chandler: No reason, except she told me.
Phoebe: Really? So she said, she didnt wanna live with me anymore?
Ms. Geller: I understand, separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his ??? between his legs and cried out: �Mommy, I�m a girl, take me with you.�
CHAN: Well it couldn't have been worse. A woman literally passed through me. OK, so what is it, am I hideously unattractive?
[What follows is the final set of flashbacks that feature a whole lot of lovin between Chandler and Joey. Theres no words, just hugs and even the kiss from The One With The Monkey. All of this is set to the song, Youve Really Got a Hold on Me!]
Ben: Santa's mad at me.
Joey: Oh. Well good! (To himself) For me. (He picks up a jar of lotion.) What is this? Did you give yourself a facial?
Monica: Oh, Rach! Rach! Umm hey, could you do me a favor and would talk to Chandlers dad and try to keep him away from Chandlers mom?
Joey: I’m saying that… (pause). This isn't working for me anymore, ok? Estelle, you’re fired. Goodbye. (he hangs up the phone).
Ross: (gasps) You are? Me, too!