words in movies
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Mike and Phoebe seem to have finished watching a movie on television.]
Mike: I'm gonna go. (He kisses Phoebe on the cheek)
Mike: I haven't been home in a couple of days and I need to get some more clothes.
Mike: I put that tube top on as a joke.
Mike: I want to stay too but I've gone as bad as much use out of these boxers as I can..
Mike: Done it. (Phoebe becomes a little more subdued) I'll be back in a couple of hours.
Mike: Me too. (He leaves. A few moments later, he enters again.) You know what? I just realised something. I don't wanna go home.
Mike: No, no! What I mean is, I hate going back to my apartment now... and partly because I live above a known crack den but... mostly because when I'm there, It's just, I really miss you. So.. do you want to move in together?
Phoebe: Wow, Mike Hannigan...You sure know how to make a girl say "Hell yeah!"
Mike: So we're doing it?
Phoebe: Yeah! Let's do it! Let's live together! (They embrace and Mike kisses Phoebe) Oh god, we're really going to move in together!
Mike: Yeah!
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Chandler and Monica are sitting on the couch. Phoebe and Mike enters.]
Mike: Phoebe and I are moving in together.
Mike: I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
Mike: Yes dear.
Phoebe: Monica slow down! Ok? I'm just excited to be living with him. You know I mean, I don't know, Can I see someday being married to Mike? Sure! Yeah. Y'know..I can picture myself walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way. But do I want that house in Connecticut...you know..near the good schools where Mike and I can send Sophie and Mike Junior.. Oh my god I do.
Mike: You ready to go?
Mike: What are you talking about?
Phoebe: Oh please, these guys, we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns. (Mike seems to gag a little...and laughs nervously. They begin to leave. Phoebe bolts back)
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Phoebe and Mike are packing stuff.]
Mike: Well hey, I wanna ask you about Monica's little "groomy" joke.
Mike: I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was. Now the thing I wanna say is... maybe we should have talked about this before. Us living together, you're not expecting a proposal, right?
Mike: Yeah well, that's the thing. For me it's as far as it can ever go.
Mike: Look. Phoebe, I-I love you. Very much. But I never want to get married again.
Mike: It's just my first marriage was, you know such a disaster. I kind of lost faith in the whole idea.
Mike: At one point near the end she deliberately defecated.....
Mike: Look it's not about who I would marry. And I was certain the first time I got married it would last forever. And I was totally wrong!
Mike: Look Phoebe, It's not about you. I just never wanna get married again.
Mike: I'm sorry. Are you ok with that? Cause if not...maybe us moving in together isn't the best idea.
Mike: Trust me, I will never...
Phoebe: Mike doesn't ever wanna get married.
Ross: But come on! I mean living together will be great! I mean you guys have so much fun and you love Mike.
Phoebe: I do love Mike.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Ross is helping with the packing, Phoebe and Mike are also there.]
Mike: Very cool.
Mike: No but... You don't want to get married either right?
Mike: You wanna get married?
Mike: But if you wanna get married why didn't you say something before?
Mike: I want to live with you too! Let's do that!
Mike: Can we at least try living together? I mean you might change your mind about marriage.
Mike: No.
Mike: But I don't want this to end.
Mike: I can't believe this is gonna end. I guess I'll have my stuff packed up.
Mike: Ok... so...(They hug) Goodbye.
Chandler/Joey/Rachel/Monica: Bye bye Mike!/Cya mike!/Bye mike!/Bye bye now!
Mike: Lima.
Mike: Completely anonymous. From two kind strangers.
Mike: And "X" is spelled uhm... "Mike Hannigan".
Monica: (to Chandler) Oh my God. That was so amazing! When did you (pause) Hold on! I almost forgot (she turns to Mike) loser! (back to Chandler) When did you stop sucking?
Phoebe: Yes, I do! Today is Mike and my one-year anniversary.
Ross: I don’t know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you?
Mike: Look, if Phoebe wants to marry David, she should, I'm not gonna stand in the way of that and neither should you.
Mike (to the charity guy): Oh my God, I love your shirt!
Mike: Yeah.
Mike: Thanks for coming you guys.
Mike: Is that why your hand is pressed against my crotch?
Mike: You both wanna do it? Uhm... there's only room for one.
Mike: Hey guys, how is it going?
Mike: No more so than acting.
Joey: Strike three! You only get one more, Mike!
[Scene: Wedding rehearsal dinner. Joey and Mike are talking.]
Mike: Yeah, yeah. Hey, thanks for doing that.
Mike: You're right. She probably will support me. Hey, unless we move in with you, dad?
Mike: Do I have a minute to go to the bathroom?
Mike: Is that what you say to Chandler?
MIKE: huh.� (pause)� What's the difference between beer and lager?
Mike: Hey.
Mike: (looking around the room) This is... great...
(Mike enters the room).
Mike: Joseph.
Mike: (thinks a moment) Orchids?
Joey: (to Mike) Hello Michael.
Mike: That must have been one lousy movie.
(Mike and Joey come out of Joey's room)
(Mike walks in.)
Mike: Oh, you haven't picked yet. Oh good, 'cause I had an idea. I thought it would be fun if the third groomsman was my family dog. Chappy.
Mike: Hey, I forgot my scarf.
Phoebe: (Turning to Mike) What do you think?
Mike: I think I wanna get married to you today.
Mike: I guess.
Mike: Oh, no!
Mike: Well, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but, we could not let the box of rats ruin our lives.
Mike: My God! Aren't you freezing?
Mike: I love you too.
Mike: I do.
(Phoebe and Mike kiss)
Joey: Mike, do you take this woman to be your wife?
(Mike takes off his coat to give to Phoebe and the steel band plays "The Wedding Song")
Chandler: So, where's Mike?
(Mike puts the ring on her finger)
Mike: (walks to the couch with coffee for Phoebe) Here you go.
Mike: Oh, it's just... It's up to you. It's your name. You've got to live with it.
Mike: You're a strange kind of grown-up.
Mike: Well... hey, the key works...! (he looks as if he doesn't want to believe what's happening)
Mike: So, what's new?
Mike: You really did that?
Mike: Ah! I missed you
Mike: Hey (He kisses Phoebe)
Mike: (afraid) You're kidding right?
[Scene: Phoebe is at Central Perk. Mike enters.]
Mike: Crap Bag.
Mike: Yeah, but you can't do that.
Phoebe:(not amused) Mike Crap Bag?
Mike: I'm not blowing her off, I actually just got off the phone with her, were going out tomorrow night, I mean I hope that's ok with you stranger from the coffee house.
Mike: Why don't you tell her my name?
Mike: Really?
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Mike are leaving.]
Mike: Oh! Why don't you introduce me?
Mike: Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay.
Mike: The woman I love... (he walks to Phoebe) I love you... Which is probably something I shouldn't say for the first time in front of my parents... and Tom and Sue...Who are by the way the most sinfully boring I've ever met in my life...
MIKE: So, except for the fermentation process, beer and ale are basically the same thing.� Fascinating isn't it.
Mike: Oh, figuring out our wedding plans.
Monica: Hey! Where's Mike?
David: Allright... But... if I ever do come back from Minsk... (points at Mike) well, you just better watch out.
Mike: Hey!
Phoebe: Listen, Mike, if you were Swedish and you were saying the word "lorkins" what flowers would that be?
(Mike enters with a roll of paper in his hand.)
Mike: Seriously. Wanna make one of those?
Mike: (To Phoebe) I want one.
Joey: You know, the baby can't read, Mike!
Mike: Really?
Phoebe: (To Mike) Oh, you just caught me off guard! Yeah, that would be nice.
Mike: I do love it, and I love your name. I love Princess Consuela.
Phoebe: nothing, I'm excited about our date, Mike this is Ross Geller this is Mike Haaaaa (starts crying)
Mike: Hey, what's going on?
Mike: You can't keep a rat in your appartment! They're extremely unsanitary, and they transmit leptospirosis and hantavirus.
Mike: You know, kinda think of it, the capital of Peru IS "vtox". (opens the kitchen cabinet) Oh god! Oh!
Phoebe: Well, I told you I had to spend all the day clearing out stuff, so Mike could move in.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Mike is blowing a note from his beer bottle.� Ross stares off to the side.)
Monica: (to Mike) Serve the ball, chump!
Ross: (takes Chappy from Mike) Well, I guess I'm in the wedding then. Ha haaa... (smells Chappy) He stinks!
Mike: Woo-wo-hey-hey-hey... Can we not talk about that right now?
Chandler: Mike didn't tell you? You have to chose one of us to be in your wedding. One of his groomsmen fell out.
Mike: (gets up) Joe, I love Phoebe. She's the single most important thing in my life. I'd die before I let anything happen to her.
Mike: No. well look can I think your weird and also cool for telling me the truth and also wanna kiss you.
Mike: After you, miss Banana Hammock.
Mike: They have a game room downstairs! Ping pong and stuff.
Mike: Mom, dad, thanks for dinner.
Mike: Oh! Sorry, I guess I was thrown off by the mention of my name!
Phoebe: Well no, when I get to the point where... you know... I'm ready to hear cruel mocking jokes about Mike... I'm gonna come to you.
Mike: So you forfeit?
(Mike starts to kneel in front of Phoebe.)
Mike: I heard that weddings are like a 40 billion dollar a year industry.
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
Mike: But please, let's just forget the whole thing.