words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone's there; Phoebe recites the last verse of a poem to Joey. This poem is known as "The Night Before Christmas" by Clement Clarke Moore, but it seems that it's rather "Account of a visit from St. Nicholas" by Henry Livingston.]
Monica: I can't believe you're not gonna be here for Christmas.
Monica: It's so unfair, you don't even like your job!
Monica: It's just... It's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas... alright, if this is what you have to do, I understand.
Monica: (shocked) You're not gonna be here New Year's Eve??
Monica: No!
Monica, Moncia, have a happy Hanukkah. Saw Santa Claus, he said hello to Ross. And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"
[Flashback to 610 - TOW The Routine] [Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment, Chandler is there. Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
Rachel: Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
[Flashback to 209 - TOW Phoebe's Dad] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
(Chandler and Joey give Monica a pack of condoms.)
[Flashback to 710 - TOW The Holiday Armadillo] [Scene: Monica, Chandler and Phoebe's, Ross is costumed as an Armadillo.]
Monica: Come on Ben.
(Monica and Ben sit down on the couch.)
Monica: Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence I'd never thought I'd say.
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)
Monica: Yeah, is that okay?
Monica: No.
[Scene change back an forth: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica's on the other end of the line. The phone's speaker is turned on, so the rest of the gang, sitting around the phone, can hear Chandler.]
Monica: Hi Honey! We're all here; we just want to wish you a Merry Christmas.
Monica: So is it horrible? Is everybody working really hard?
Monica: Wendy? -- That sounds like a girl's name.
Monica: Umhmm, umhmm, about the time you told me about New Year's Eve. Where is everybody else?
Monica: Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?
Monica: What does she do there?
Monica: She did WHAT?
Monica: *What*??
Monica: Alright, well, maybe I should let you and the second prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Okay!
Monica: Merry Christmas.
[Flashback to 716 - TOW The Truth About London] [Scene: London, Chandler's hotel room. He was getting ready for bed when Monica pays him a visit and they started talking]
Monica: Really?
Monica: Well, not anymore.
Monica: I know, I just thought it would be fun.
Monica: Drunk enough that I know I wanna do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
Monica: Okay!
Monica: (breaking the kiss) Y'know what's weird?
Monica: This doesn't feel weird!
Monica: You're a really good kisser.
Monica: Hm-hmm!
Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
Monica: We're gonna see each other naked.
Monica: Do you wanna do it at the same time?
Monica: One!
Monica: Two!
Monica: Eh, we weren't that close anyway!
[Flashback to 503 - TOW The Triplets] [Scene: A hallway in the hospital, Monica and Chandler are talking.]
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
Monica: (interrupting) Know when to stop.
Monica: Yeah. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around:) Don't do the dance.
[Flashback to 524 - TOI Vegas, Part II] [Scene: The Gift Shop, Monica and Chandler are entering.]
Monica: I can't get married until I get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.
Monica: You're so efficient. I love you!
Monica: No-no-no, wait! We need something old!
Monica: That'll work!
Monica: Okay, now we just need something borrowed!
Monica: That's stealing!
Monica: Ohh. (Rubs her fake stomach.)
[Flashback to 702 - TOW Rachel's Book] [Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the wedding book as Monica enters.]
Monica: Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Monica: Eh, you work for that.
Monica: You do?!
Monica: Oh, you're so sweet. (They hug and kiss.) Oh, but wait, what about our, what about the future and stuff?
Monica: You thought about that?
Monica: How many kids were we gonna have?
Monica: What else did you think about?
Monica: (laughs) Y'know what? I-I don't want a big, fancy wedding.
Monica: No, I want everything that you just said. I want a marriage.
Monica: Uh-hmm.
Monica: I love you. (They kiss.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, everyone except Chandler is there; they're opening their presents]
Monica: "Wendy" is a fat girl name.
Monica: Okay, fine. Let's talk about snow. -- Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa, where my husband is having sex on a copying machine?
Monica: What are you doing here?
Chandler: Monica.
Monica: But I thought if you left, you get fired.
Monica: What?
Monica: Oh my god!
Monica: No, I think that this is what you wanna do, I think it's great!
(Chandler hands Phoebe an envelope, and some more to Monica)
Chandler: (to Monica) Here, pass these, will ya.. (points to the others)
(Monica passes the Envelopes on to Ross, Joey and Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica is cleaning up, Chandler is sitting on the couch, checking the Job offers in a Newspaper.]
Chandler: Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man!
Monica: You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Well I didnt want everyone to think I was stupid.
Monica: The dinner will be ready in twenty minutes. This is so exciting.
Monica: Im gonna miss you! (They hug.)
Monica: What happened to Janine?
[Cut to Ross and Monica, who are finally on a platform!]
Monica: (loudly) What?!! (Quietly) What?
Joey: You know, you and Bob, and me and my girlfriend, uh, uh, Monica.
Monica: (in an Irish accent) Monica Gellerrr. (She rolls her R)
Monica, Moncia, have a happy Chanukah. Saw Santa Clause, he said hello to Ross. And plese tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"
Monica: We owe you?!
[Scene: The Set, Joey, Janine, Ross and Monica are walking in.]
Monica: Why, do you write him a lot?
Rachel: Ok, Monica. I just have to know one thing. Did you go with her to Bloomingdale's? (Monica looks away.) Oh! Ok, ok, ok, I just really, uh, I just really need to not be with you right now. (Exits.)
Monica: Ross hasnt worked at the museum for a year!
Monica: Well, this is the last box of your clothes. Im just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"
Chandler: (To Monica) Yknow I think you can take her.
Monica: Absolutely!
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
Monica: Its beautiful! Its like the first bathroom floor there ever was. (Chandler tries to go to the bathroom) Whoa! Are you going in there for?
[Scene: The Set, Monica and Ross are dancing.]
(He happily gestures at Chandler that there was nothing to worry about, then exits. Rachel and Monica are concerned for poor Phoebe, who slides back down next to Ross.)
Monica: What did I tell you about the hall?!
(Cut to Chandler and Monica at the buffet table.)
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Well, I know that would make Joey happy, so, I would like that too.
Monica: Well, maybe youre rightShe made fun of my phone pen!
Monica: Oh, Janine, the really hot dancer girl?
Monica: All right, all right, at least Im prepared.
Monica: Nothing. (She backs away a little bit but is still in his arms and looks up at his eyes.) I dont knUmm. I dont know. Umm
Monica: No.
Monica: That didnt work on mom, its not going to work on us.
[Cut back to Monica and Rachel's apartment, Rachel is singing along with a song and dancing while facing the big picture window. Y'know, I think I'd pay real good money to be on the other side of that window!]
Chandler: (To Monica) Have I got a surprise for you? Pack your bags!
(Ross and Monica high-five)
Monica: Wait a minute, I can get ice at the restaurant
Chandler: Oh, that would be Monica. Hey, listen, I wanna borrow a coupla things, Aurora spent the night, I really wanna make her breakfast.
Monica: Oh, is it that pinball machine with the big bow on it?
Monica: (relieved) Its only you.
Monica: Hm-hmm!
Monica: So do you think that these picturesAre, are they trying to tell a story?
Rachel and Monica: Yeah.
Monica: What?!
Monica: Me neither.
RACHEL: Well, well um, you know, these movies are offensive and uh, degrading to women and females. And uh, and the lighting's always unflattering. And, Monica help me out here.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, okay. I'm uptight. Yeah, that's why I don't want to watch a middle aged guy dance around in what I can only assume is a child halloween costume! (turns to look at Monica and Rachel who look like they feel very sorry for the stripper)
MONICA: This wasn't addressed to Days of Our Lives, this is, this came to your apartment. There's no stamp on it, this woman was in our building.
Monica: I mean, I realize that his feelings may never completely go away, but you can.
Monica: So you didnt leave the bank?
Monica: Do you know whats a bad idea?
[Scene: London Marriott, Monica and Chandler are walking to her room.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are in bed together.]
Monica: (to Erica) Hey, thank you. Thank you so much. (they hugs). You are SO going to Heaven!
Monica: Thats a good idea.
Monica: Its coming from the living room.
Rachel: Monica, what are you doing?
Monica: (interrupting her) Okay, now Thanksgiving's over, let's get ready for Christmas. Who wants to go get a Christmas tree?!
Monica: No, it doesn't, does it? But you wanted lumps, Ross? (picks up the pan of badly burnt potatoes) Well, here you go, buddy, ya got one.
Monica: Yeah.. uh, but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a phone.
Rachel: (To Monica) Well, people are different.
Monica: Yeah, well you call her and tell her that yknow when we were kids her precious little Frannie tried to undress me several times, okay? And if I hadnt have stopped her, there probably wouldnt even be a wedding to go too.
Monica: Oh yes, it is. I'm sorry I borrowed it, I was cold. I hope its okay?
Monica: All right.
Monica: (loudly) I know!!!
Monica: No, thank you.
Phoebe: Good thats a good one. Okay, Monica, anything? Yknow? Does Rachel move the phone pen?
Monica: I know. Where do you wanna go eat?
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?
Chandler: Be right there sweetums. (Monica leaves. To Joey.) A totally different situation.
Monica: Joey, do you work here?
Monica: Yes, they are. The Blymens invited them.
Monica: Oh, I was thinking about having people over for the game.
Rachel: Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story. (To Monica and Phoebe) It was Ralph Lauren! (Monica and Phoebe gasp) Ralph Lauren walked into my office!
[Scene: Richards bedroom, Monica has covered it in rose pedals and candles. We hear Richard come in to the apartment, and Monica frantically throws the rest of the pedals on the bed, and jumps onto the bed and puts a rose in her mouth, and bites a thorn.]
Monica: Y'know what? Ill think youll play.
Chandler: Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right?
Monica: Hah!
Monica and Rachel: You did!
Monica: Well, then, Im okay with being high maintenance.
Monica: You know, they're not actually supposed to have... (Ross looks at her sheepishly) I'll work on the lumps. Joey, you're going home, right?
Monica: You are so cute. (She goes over and kisses him passionately.)
Monica: Wait Chandler come on, letsits not a big deal!
Monica: Okay, Chandler, you go first.
Chandler: Lets have Monica decide.
Monica: Why do I have to decide?
Monica: Do you want me to pick you?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey is there. Rachel is looking out of the window and Ross is handing out some Chinese takeout. There's a small SAP in the corner of the screen.]
Monica: Continue.
(Monica leaves the room)
(Chandler motions to Monica that hell give her two babies.)
Monica: Hi, Chandler. There you are.
Monica: Wait, wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler.
Monica: Ahhh! You are on my list.
Monica: (visibly upset) She picked Rachel. I mean, she tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel.
Ross: (catching the ball) Monica! Stop throwing it so hard! We're on the same team!
Phoebe: (to Monica) Yknow, suddenly I find you very attractive.
[Cut back to Monica and Chandlers room, they are making out again as theres another knock on the door.]
Monica: All right, biggest suite in the place. Come on! (Rolls the dice.)
Monica: Well, that's different. My lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states. What were you thinking?
Monica: I pick you, Phoebe.