words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Chandler: (deadpan, standing next to Monica) We're very happy for you.
Monica: Oh no, wait! Joey!
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Happy New Year!
Monica: Happy New Year.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, after the party. Everyone has left, except for the gang.]
Monica: She has a better chance of sprouting wings and flying up your nose than you do of not making fun of us.
Monica: Hey Rach, maybe your resolution should be to umm, gossip less.
Monica: Well if Ted Kopel talked about his coworkers botched boob jobs, I would.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Monica: Hi Ben!
Ben: Auntie Monica!! (He runs to hug her.)
Monica: I like 'em.
Monica: I like them a lot.
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
(Monica starts taking pictures of Ross and Ben, with the flash.)
Monica: It's my New Year's resolution!
Monica: No! To take more pictures of all of us together. I mean I really think it's the best resolution because everyone will enjoy the pictures.
Joey: Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well. (Does a chord and Monica starts taking pictures of him and Phoebe. They both start to strike a pose with the excessive amount of pictures that Monica takes.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is drilling Joey on the chords as Monica looks on.]
Joey: No, I'm not questioning it, I'm saying it's stupid! (Notices Monica standing between them and smiling.) What?! (The camera clicks, taking another picture.)
Monica: Thank you. (Leaves.)
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Monica: (on phone) Awww, y'know what your nickname is, Mr. Big
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is returning from his horrible trek back home without pants on. The whole gang is there.]
Monica: We heard about your pants, I'm so sorry.
Monica: Hey, hey, look. Look Ross, Ben drew a picture of you! (Shows him Ben's picture.) Huh? You're-you're a cowboy!
Monica: See? Ben doesn't think you're a loser, he thinks you're a cowboy! Now that's something.
Monica: Okay, now that everything's wrapped up here, I think I'm, I'm gonna go do my laundry.
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Monica are there.]
Monica: Honey you-you got to beat your scores!
Monica: Not just the phone pen. I never get my messages.
Monica: Yeah? The work problem?
Monica: Honey, both yours.
Monica: That's weird. I've had the same number of beers as you and I don't feel anything at all. (Chandler approaches)
Chandler and Monica: What?!
Joey: I know! Thats why we got to find Monica!! You know where she is?
Monica: He is the man in the black dress.
Monica: You said your boss wants to buy your baby?!
Monica: Wow! You might just get the first Nobel prize in rubbing. So what country is this guy from?
Rachel: Well, she told me too! (Points to Monica and Joey glares at her.)
Monica: Subtle guys!
Monica: Thats not your regular dry cleaners.
Monica: What?!
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Monica are walking down it.]
Monica: Yeah, Id really like to.
Monica: Yeah.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are in the kitchen, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Phoebe is, you guessed it, still on hold.]
Monica: (following her) Phoebe! I have to have those earrings, we're going to leave as soon as the show is over.
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Monica: Really you can do that?
Monica: The good stuff, huh?
Monica: You got a present for my parents. Thats so sweet.
Monica: What?!
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: Thats my old dog. He passed away years ago.
Monica: And Ive got the car keys.
Monica: Well, spring vacation is doing nice things with your grandparents. Spring break youre doing frat guys.
Monica: Its just that, its so much.
Monica: I feel terrible.
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)
(As she walks away, Chandler mouths a scream to Monica. How motions and mouths, "It's okay, it's okay.")
Monica: All right. Now do it soon, he just asked me how to convert his dollars into Vermont money.
Monica: (pause) I have no idea.
(Cut to Monica and Chandler)
Monica: Yeah. In fact, I like her so much you tell her I want my cookies early this year! Yknow, a box of Thin Mints and some Tag-a-Longs.
Joey: Uh, hey, Rach let me ask you something. Uh, I was just over there talking to Monica and Chandler, boy they are really tight.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Monica are playing with a Ouija board, Phoebes beeper goes off and Monica screams.]
[Scene: The Hallway between the apartments, Joey, Janine, Chandler, and Monica are returning from a double date. Chandler is telling a joke.]
JOEY: Hey, Monica, the knob was broken so I just turned it off from underneath, I hope that's alright.
(Cut to Monica, at the microphone)
Ross: Oh, no, Mom, its just Monica this year.
Mrs. Geller: Thank you Monica that was uh, interesting. Wasnt it interesting, Jack?
Monica: Excuse us! (then to Phoebe) Alright here's a question: Who was so worried about her restaurant being fancy that she made a big deal about her friend playing her music and feels really bad about it now? (raises her hand)
Rachel: I have so got it. Theres gonna be rumours about this, theres no way to stop it. Sophie knows, Monica and Phoebe know.
Monica: Oh, come on.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Monica are there.]
Monica: Hey!
Monica: You know, I knew a girl in high school who did that. She was very popular. (Chandler laughs.)
Monica: (To Chandler) You think were being obvious?
Dr. Mitchell: (on the phone) Monica and Rachel's apartment. Err yeh, aayah, yeh, just one second... (handing it to Monica) ..ah, Rachel, it's your dad.
Monica: Rach? (Points to Jill.)
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Monica and Erica are talking about the baby, and Monica is rubbing Erica's tummy.]
Monica: Umm, so how long have you been working with your dad? (He looks at her) Come on, one of us had to mention him.
Monica: Hi, how are you doing Kelly?
Monica: Has somebody been drinking my fat? (Joey and Chandler look at each other)
Chandler: Well, somebody should. (Monica glares at him.)
(Rachel sticks a marshmellow into Monicas nose. Monica takes it out of her nose by closing one nostril, and blowing.)
Monica: I cant walk. Okay? Okay? These boots were a huge mistake!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch still staring at the screen.]
Monica: Joey! Youre doing great!
MONICA: Two it is. Ok, time for bed, I'm gonna go brush my teeth. [goes in the bathroom]
Monica: (interrupting) I love it! Its huge!! Lets open it! Open it!! (Monica rips open the paper.)
Monica: Bye. (They resume their previous positions.)
Monica: (stopping him) No! Joey, we swore wed never tell!
Monica: Chandler, if you thought I was going to get you porn for Valentines Day (pulls a video out of a basket) you were right! Apparently, its about a young girl who moves to the big city, you know, in search of stardom, but ends up having sex with a lot of guys! Yeah, it got four starts! (looks closer) Oh, wait a minute. Those arent stars. Anyway, you want to take a look?
Chandler: Oh my God! (He and Monica walk away.)
Monica: Well, we-we had to go back because I forget my jacket.
Rachel: And you know Monica and Ross!
Monica: Great! Were hangin in the kitchen! (She drags him into the kitchen and turns his back to the living room) Lets stay in the kitchen!
Monica: Uh Tim? This is Phoebe. Phoebe this is Tim, my new sous chef.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Chandler, and Monica are there. Rachel is reading everyones horoscope.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are preparing for Rachels baby shower.]
Monica: You slept with her didnt you?
Monica: Hey!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying to erase Chandlers dirty words while he looks on.]
Monica: Oh my God, your mother!
Monica: Okay, yknow what? Dont worry, okay? Well take care of it. Well call her. Just go home and get ready.
Monica: (interrupting her) Oh give it a rest!
Mrs. Green: Oh, hello Monica.
Monica: Yeah, Im sorry. Im-Im so sorry.
Monica: Thank you. (Hangs up.)
Monica: (To Phoebe) Oh my God, my ass is sweating! (on phone) Please! Please! Can you come? Its today at four.
Monica: Hi!
Monica: Shes still mad.
Monica: You ordered a stripper for the shower?! That is totally inappropriate!
Monica: I dont believe in soul mates either.
Monica: (Robin is speaking loudly again) I...
Monica: We are the hottest! Huh? No one is hotter than we are! You're the best.
Monica: What?
Monica: Okay, where is the Kat Stevens CD?
MONICA: All right. We're gonna go. It's not for another six hours. We're gonna go then.
Monica: Rachel, listen to your mother. She is very smart.
[Flashback to when Chandler was introduced to Monica in The One With The Thanksgiving Flashbacks.]
Monica: Wait a minute, just because he paid for your head shots youre gonna take him? Joey, I dont think youre comprehending just how slutty this dress is!
Monica: Yeah, can we go call them? Is it too soon to call? I wanna call.
Monica: Child-birth, its a natural thing! Its beautiful.
Monica: Oh, they're brochures from different adoption agencies.
Monica and Chandler's apartment