words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are hosting a New Year's party. So the place is crowded and in a shameless promotion for NBC they're watching Jay Leno's coverage of New Year's from Time Square.]
Chandler: (deadpan, standing next to Monica) We're very happy for you.
Monica: Oh no, wait! Joey!
(And with that everyone starts playing tonsil hockey. Chandler with Monica, Ross with Phoebe, and Joey with Rachel.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Happy New Year!
Monica: Happy New Year.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, after the party. Everyone has left, except for the gang.]
Monica: She has a better chance of sprouting wings and flying up your nose than you do of not making fun of us.
Monica: Hey Rach, maybe your resolution should be to umm, gossip less.
Monica: Well if Ted Kopel talked about his coworkers botched boob jobs, I would.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering with Rachel.]
Monica: Hi Ben!
Ben: Auntie Monica!! (He runs to hug her.)
Monica: I like 'em.
Monica: I like them a lot.
Rachel: Awful, absolutely awful. (Plus other negative comments from Phoebe and Monica.)
(Monica starts taking pictures of Ross and Ben, with the flash.)
Monica: It's my New Year's resolution!
Monica: No! To take more pictures of all of us together. I mean I really think it's the best resolution because everyone will enjoy the pictures.
Joey: Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well. (Does a chord and Monica starts taking pictures of him and Phoebe. They both start to strike a pose with the excessive amount of pictures that Monica takes.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is drilling Joey on the chords as Monica looks on.]
Joey: No, I'm not questioning it, I'm saying it's stupid! (Notices Monica standing between them and smiling.) What?! (The camera clicks, taking another picture.)
Monica: Thank you. (Leaves.)
(Rachel looks shocked, gets over it, notices she's alone, and picks up the phone. The last part of which is something she shouldn't have done, because the phone is already in use. By Monica, and now Rachel can hear every word.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Monica: (on phone) Awww, y'know what your nickname is, Mr. Big
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is returning from his horrible trek back home without pants on. The whole gang is there.]
Monica: We heard about your pants, I'm so sorry.
Monica: Hey, hey, look. Look Ross, Ben drew a picture of you! (Shows him Ben's picture.) Huh? You're-you're a cowboy!
Monica: See? Ben doesn't think you're a loser, he thinks you're a cowboy! Now that's something.
Monica: Okay, now that everything's wrapped up here, I think I'm, I'm gonna go do my laundry.
Rachel: Chandler and Monica?!! Oh, this is unbelievable!! How long have you known?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Monica are there.]
Monica: (Sounds moved) Really?
Monica: What?
Ross: (skeptical) That doesn't sound like you... That's Monica talking!
Phoebe: (to Monica) Help me.
Monica: You really want me to come back?
Monica: Yeah with Chandler not getting paid, we could really use 300 million dollars.
Monica: (thinking) AFFIRMATIVE!
Phoebe: Me too! (turning to Monica) Monica, do you think we could do it?
Monica: Really?
(Monica leaves and Phoebe closes the door behind her and tries to lock it.)
Monica: If only there were a smaller one to clean this one!
Monica: So, you're ready to do this?
Chandler: Oh yeah! (Monica walks outside)
Joey: Hey! (Monica turns and looks at him) Now Im a man of the cloth, but I still have feelings!
Rachel and Monica: I love you.
(Cut to inside Central Perk where Rachel is helping Phoebe. Chandler and Monica enter.)
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. Its an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]
(we cut to Monica)
Monica: Just subtract twelve.
Monica: Hey.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment.]
Monica: Hey.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: No, we haven't seen her since this morning.
Monica: These are for Erica!
Monica: Honey.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler and Monica are looking through some papers.]
Monica: I want you to meet someone really special. Phoebe, this is Erica. And this is the baby!
Monica: Joey. Erica, baby!
Monica: (entering with Erica and Chandler) Hey you guys.
Monica: Youre right. I mean Im sorry. Yeah, I shouldnt be laughing. I should be laying down papers for you! (Runs off laughing which gets Chandler laughing.)
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Chandler: Monica. Calm, self.
Monica: Everyone. Erica, baby!
Monica: (sees what he is doing) Chandler, stop! It is not going to pop open!
Monica: (angry) Ow, what are the chances!
Monica: (enjoying what she's seeing) How's it going?
Monica: (Chandler's laughing) Did someone drop the baton again?
Monica: What is with you?
Monica: How's that now?
Monica: Are you awake?
Erica: Well, if there is anything else you wanna know... (Monica and Chandler look at each other)
Monica: How?
(Time lapse. Chandler and Monica are in bed now)
Monica: Yeah, but maybe we're just over-reacting.
[Scene: The Craps Table, Monica is still on her roll, only this time Chandler's with her and she has a huge crowd of people around.]
(Cut to Monica holding up her shirt, revealing her bra. An actor stands beside her, holding a pen in his hand.)
Monica: Are you kidding? This is where they get out stains! Okay? This is like Disneyland for me. Im-Im gonna be over here watching the dance of the clean shirts. (She points to and walks over to the electric clothes rack they have.)
Monica: William Sonoma, fall catalog, Page 27.
Monica: But what if it is better than ours? Should we at least look?
Monica: That's mine!! Now, would you both please start acting like adults? And get me my cough drops!
Monica: So what! As long as hes not wearing a white dress and a veil I dont care.
Monica: How about you go put on your 007 tuxedo and Ill make you a nice martini.
Monica: Yeah, I changed them. I-I sent you a fax about it!
Monica: (smiling) No it's not.
Monica: The thing we never do.
Monica: Nope, she doesn't have to, I found out who the father is.
Monica: Yeah, you miss alot, when you're moo-ing.
Monica: (her hair bigger then before) I can't believe it's raining again! Oh, it's so unfair!!!
Monica: You were my Midnight Mystery Kisser?
Monica: No, not if their room has two beds!
Monica: No one wanted seconds, right?
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler on their couch.]
Monica: And Dad, yknow that mailman that you got fired? He didnt steal your Playboys! Ross did!
Monica: I don't know who I'm happiest for...
Monica: All right. I know you're not happy about us moving, but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house.
Monica: What?! Are you kidding me?! You-you-you think were ready to have a baby now?!
Monica: See you guys later.
Monica: Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us.
Monica: I do not have baby fever!
Monica & Chandler: Mhum.
Monica: Phoebe!
Monica: You seriously changed your name to that?
Monica: Hey Pheebs.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Monica are there when Phoebe enters.]
Monica: Okay, so from now on we have to call you Princess Consuela?
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry, mrs Hannigan.
Monica: Oh God. I'm so sorry.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Rachel are on the couch looking at the Playboy magazine. When they hear someone coming, Monica goes to hide it under the sofa cushions.]
Monica: No it's not!
Monica: Thank you for letting us see the house again.
Monica: Ah, so glad you decided to come.
Monica: Joey, we know that's you.
Monica: Okay fine! Fine! Then you know what, Ill just write about Phyllis! Hmm!
Monica: (she tastes what she has cooked) I don't get older. I just get better!
(Chandler gives Monica a footlong "eye dropper" with the turkey grease in it)
Monica: How about at a game, on the big screen?
Monica: Hey, where have you been?
Chandler and Monica: No!
Monica: Joey, now that you're okay with the house, do you wanna go see your room?
Monica: No.
Monica: I guess. Why? Who's she with?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Ross enters.]
Monica: Oh, sorry!
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
Monica: Oh please! Yesterday on the subway? You couldn't stop staring at that woman with the big breasts the whole time.
Monica: I dont believe this! When someone asks you in for lemonade, and to you that means they wanna have sex?
Monica: Im sorry. Ive never had a maid before, is this not okay?
Gary: (looking at Monica.) Mm! Seems like I wouldve remembered you!
Monica: Good. (To Chandler) Uh honey, the Miami Vice soundtrack? Really?