words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table eating cheesecake. The box it came in is also on the table.]
Ross: Thanks. (Phoebe gets up to get a refill.) (To Monica) Oh! So for tomorrow, do you want to rent a car and drive down together or what?
Monica: What are you talking about?
Monica: You were invited?!
Monica: My God, I cant believe this! I mean I knew that mom and dad were invited, but I thought that was it! I mean from the ages 7 to 9 Frannie and I were inseparable!
Monica: Yeah, well you call her and tell her that yknow when we were kids her precious little Frannie tried to undress me several times, okay? And if I hadnt have stopped her, there probably wouldnt even be a wedding to go too.
Chandler: I used to undress my cousin Glenn. (Monica looks at him then sushes him.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Monica, Chandler, Rachel, and Ross are playing Monopoly as Phoebe enters angrily.]
Ross: Hey, yknow what nickname never caught on? The Ross-A-Tron! (Monica shakes her head in disgust.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters to find Chandler staring at another cheesecake box.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Joey are there. Joey is reading a newspaper.]
Monica: Joey, that papers like a year old!
Monica: Hey.
Monica: Limited seating?! (Screechingly) I am just one tiny person!
Monica: (disgusted) Limited seating! Oh, that is such a lame excuse! Thats not the reason shes not inviting me!
Monica: Joan?
Monica: Wait a minute, you got Ross Gellar and guest?! I wasnt invited and you got "and guest?!"
Monica: Wait a minute, yknow, youre bringing me!
Monica: Why not?!
Monica: Because! Shes my cousin. I mean, we grew up together! Were family yknow? Well thats important to me.
Monica: (laughs) Well see.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are entering. As Phoebe is sitting down, she recognizes someone sitting at the counter.]
Monica: David who?
Monica: Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: So! Hell understand!
Phoebe: No he wont. And thats not even the point! Monica, I made a whole speech about you do not cancel plans with friends! And now yknow what? Just because, potentially, the love of my life comes back from Russia just for one night, I-I should change my beliefs?! I should change beliefs! No! No! No, if I dont have my principles, I dont have anything!
Monica: God, you are so strong.
Chandler: Oh really? Uh, Monica said she had a date at 9:00.
Chandler: Thats what Monica said.
[Scene: Cousin Frannies Wedding Reception, Monica and Ross are entering and finding their table.]
Monica: Limited seating my ass. Lets see who made the cut. (To the couple sitting to her right.) Hi!
Monica: Im Monica Gellar. Who do you know the bride and groom?
Monica: Used to work with her. Used to! Im a relative and I didnt get invited! A blood relative! Blood!!
Ross: (To Monica) Stop saying, "Blood" to strangers.
Monica: (to the couple on her left) So, how about you huh? How do you know the happy couple?
Monica: Okay, youre fine.
Rachel: Oh, what are you going to do?! Are you gonna go run tell Monica?! Are you gonna tell Joey?! No! Because then you will have to tell them what we did! We are desert stealers! We are living outside the law!
[Cut to Chandler and Monicas as they enter.]
Rachel: What? Oh, well then yknow what? I think Monica would be very interested to know that you called her cheesecake dry and mealy.
[Scene: Cousin Frannies Wedding Reception, Monica and Ross are sitting at the table, alone as a woman approaches.]
Monica: Heres Frannie. Hmm, wont she be happy to see me? (Starts to get up and great Frannie.)
Monica: Frannie was the one who found your Playboys and showed them to mom.
Ross: That bitch! (He gets up and they go over to ambush Frannie. Monica taps on Frannies shoulder.)
Frannie: (turning around) Monica! What
Monica: Am I doing here? Why? Surprised to see me? Ross brought me. How do you like that?!
Monica: You invite my brother, you invite my whole family, and not me?! Why?! WhatWhy wouldnt you want me at your wedding? What could I have possibly done?! (Frannies husband walks up.) Stuart!
(Monica is shocked into silence.)
[Scene: Cousin Frannies Wedding Reception, Ross and Monica are at the door and about to leave.]
Monica: Oh wait I forgot my wrap.
Ross: Why?! Why on the lips?! (He wipes his mouth on Monicas wrap and walks off, leaving Aunt Millie stunned.)
Monica: This is so cool, maybe this is something you can do every week.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are getting ready to go on their honeymoon. Monica is entering from the bedroom.]
Monica: Yeah! Joey has the best boyfriend ever!
Monica: It's a diaper commercial.
MONICA: Over here dad. [he pans over and we see a torso taking up the whole screen]
Monica: Alright, well I'm tearing the lettuce.
[Scene: The craps table, Monica is on a big roll.]
Monica: I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.)
Monica: For this weekend! Oh gosh, it would be perfect, we get to see Joey plus we get to start our anniversary celebration on the plane. We can call it out plane-aversary.
MONICA: I don't know, Chandler. Let's take a look.
MONICA: Oh, I'm gonna kill those guys.
MONICA: Hi. Richard just told me he loves me.
Monica: Okay, we're gonna start in the kitchen. Plates get put into plate protectors and stacked ten to a box. The silverware gets bundled in rubber bands and then bubble wrapped. Got it?
Monica: (Closing the door) Goodbye Mr.Heckles.
Monica: Um, well, I was going to, I-I-I really was. But um, then somewhere, just out of nowhere, I didnt.
Monica: Okay, so how do I make him think I wanna have sex with him?
Monica: I dont know! I dontmaybe youre feeling a little resentful. Maybe ah, maybe you thought youd get married first! Maybe you cant stand the fact that your formally fat friend is getting married before you!
Monica: Chandler! I have to tell you, you smell so smokey I have to get up. I'm not kidding. (She's not; she stands and walks away. Chandler moves closer.)
Monica: Okay. (She gets off him.) God well, we gotta go back and get them!
Phoebe: I cant believe youre gonna ask Monica to marry you!
Monica: Hey! What did you decide to do about the movie?
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Monica: Because shes not gonna get to keep the babies.
Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Monica: Okay, just stay there a couple more hours and if she doesnt show up by then, then just come on home.
Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?
Monica: No you don't.
Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today.
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
Monica: Rachel?!
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
Ross: 'Pwease, Aunt Monica, pwease?' Oh, unclench. You're not even gonna be there.
Monica: No I dont know Chandler! Not anymore! Its like its like somethings changed.
Monica: Who wasn't invited to the wedding.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there eating breakfast. Chandler is cleaning out his wallet.]
(Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel enters.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, with a blanket draped over her shoulders, opens the door to a similarly clad Chandler.]
Monica: What are you doing here so early?
Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there!
Monica: Just breathe, breathe.. that's it. Just try to think of nice calm things...
Monica: Yes!
Monica: (horrified) Really?
Monica: Oh well, maybe we can put it in the guest bedroom.
(Monica goes to change.)
Monica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds.
Monica: No it's not. We had an inspection and they didn't find anything.
Monica: (entering) Oh good youre all here. Thanksgiving tomorrow, four oclock. (To Rachel) Oh, guess who I invited. Remember that guy Will Colbert from high school?
Monica: All right, Ive got a whole bunch of uh-uh, stuff in this area, but umm, Im getting the feeling that you dont want to deliver.
Monica: Oh my God!
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
Chandler: I am only one man! (Monica heads out) Okay Ross, time is up!
Monica: Ok...ay.
Monica: It's no big deal, I do it all the time.
MONICA: No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and know you'd like him. [she puts her arm around Richard]
Phoebe: Ohh! All right! All right. Heres what well do, Ill get twice as drunk as Monica and then no ones will even notice her.
Monica: Wow! Thats great! Dad must really like you, he doesnt ask just anyone to play.
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Monica: (pause)...Yeah. Yeah, I do.
Monica: What?..... What, you wanna spell it out with noodles?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler about Emily's ultimatum.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has opened another wedding present as Chandler enters.]
(Monica and Paul walk to the door and talk in a low voice so the others can't hear. The others move Monica's table closer to the door so that they can.)
Monica: Stop!
Monica: We'll talk later.
Monica: Hey sweetie. Oh good. (Takes the baking dish from her.)
Monica: Shut up, and put my table back.
MONICA: Joey they're not real. I start miles beneath the surface of these things, ok, they're fake. See [squeezes her breast] honk honk.
Monica: Yeah, we all have jobs. See, that's how we buy stuff.
Monica: What for?
(Monica is standing by the crib, and she's looking at her babies.)
Monica: Do you realize that four weeks from today were getting married? Four weeks baby!! Four weeks!!!
(Monica exits.)
Monica: Big time!
Monica: So how you doing today? Did you sleep okay? Talk to Barry? I can't stop smiling.
MONICA: Oh I was just doing Chandler's side of the conversation.� You know, like, "Hi, How do I look?"� (As Chandler) "Really sexy.� Could I BE any more turned on?"
Monica: No! No its not! Its not gonna be okay! It sucks! No swing band! No lilies!
Monica: How do you do that?
Monica: You know Paul?
Frannie: Hey, Monica!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are sitting at the kitchen table.]
Monica: We are going to Dick Clarks New Years Rocking Eve!
Monica: I know, he's just so, so... Do you remember you and Tony DeMarco?
Monica: How'd you pay for them?
Monica: And who pays for that?
Monica: All right, you ready?
Monica: You can, I know you can!
Monica: Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You're gonna love it!
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Monica: You be okay?
Monica: Oh my God, that place has the creamiest frosting! I use to hitchhike there when I was a kid.
Fake Monica: So once they caught on to the fact that we're, y'know, short and have breasts...
Monica: See ya.... Waitwait, what's with you?
Monica: (to Phoebe) Would you stop?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is there as Rachel enters.]
Monica: Absolutely.
Monica: No, Chandlers still in Phase One, and Joeys that thing you smell.
Monica: ...They threw us out! I was thrown out of a hotel! Me!
Monica: Groomsman, groomsman, why are you just standing there, where is your bridesmaid? (into microphone) We've got a broken arrow. Bridesmaid down! (realizes) Oh, that's me.
Monica: It's "Bolero" from "10".