words in movies
Monica: (she enters with a headset on and she's speaking into the microphone) Well, it matters to me!
Monica: Did you just hung up on me? (she hangs up too) All right, look, I need you at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours.
Monica: You don't know military time?
Monica: Just subtract twelve.
Monica: (screaming) Six o'clock!
Monica: Ok. Hold on. (her mobile phone rings) Geller here! No! I said it has to be there by 4 o'clock. Goodbye. (she hangs up) Oh, how hard it is to make an ice sculpture?
Monica: Please... honey, leave the details to me. Now I wanna make this day as special for you as I can. Now, ok, I was thinking that the harpist should wear white.
Monica: Ooh... she backed out.
Monica: I made her. (Phoebe looks shocked) Steel drums don't really say "elegant wedding". Nor does Marjorie's overwhelming scent.
Rachel: Oh, Monica made me send her to my mother's. Apparently babies and weddings don't mix.
Monica: (coming) Are you still crying about your damn baby? Pheebs, you gotta keep the line moving, remember, 20 seconds per person. Your see these clowns all the time! (she takes off)
Monica: (looking at Phoebe eating something) Pheebs, spit that out, that has pork in it.
Monica: Yeah, I changed them. I-I sent you a fax about it!
Monica: Ah, well then there are gonna be a few surprises!
Ross: I'll do it! (Monica approaches)
Monica: Ok, it's 2100 hours. (to Phoebe) Time for your toast. (Mike appears)
Monica: You had a bathroom break at 2030. Pee on your own time, Mike! (to Phoebe and Mike). Now, in regard to the toast, okay, you wanna keep them short, nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. Okay. You just get in, do your thing and get out!
Monica: (very serious) It's 2101 and I am not amused. (pause). Ok, the bride and groom have a few words they'd like to say. (Everyone sits and Phoebe gets up)
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Monica (rolling her eyes): oh God.
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Monica: What?
Phoebe: YOU'RE FIRED! (mimes the CUT again) (pause and she raises her glass) Cheers! (Chandler raises his, smiling and Monica stares at him and he puts down his glass.)
(Monica enters the room)
Monica: Hi. About last night... I know you are under a lot of stress and even though the things you said hurt me a little bit... My point is, uh, well, I'm willing to take my job back.
Monica: Oh, is that so? Ok. If that's really what you want, then here... I give you the headset. Well, I don't really want to give you the headset. Well I guess if you're taking over, you should probably return these messages. (hands her a stack of papers with messages and calls to return)
Monica: Uh-huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Monica: Mm-mh. I printed them out on my computer.
Monica: Hi.
Monica: She's in her room, why?
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Phoebe is talking at the phone, Monica is listening amused.]
Monica: I know.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler is pacing and Rachel walks in.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe is on the phone and Monica is nonchalantly "minding her own business".]
Monica: Bye.
Monica: (Obviously enjoying this setback) Ugh, I guess it got sent to the billing address as opposed to the shipping address. (by now she can barely keep herself from smiling) Uh! What a pickle.
Monica: (enjoying what she's seeing) How's it going?
Phoebe: (to Monica) Help me.
Monica: What?
Monica: (Sounds moved) Really?
Monica: You really want me to come back?
Monica: Ok people, we are back in business! (Gets her headset out of her purse) Oh God, we've missed you soo much! (takes all the notes from Phoebe) Ok, go and get your hair and make-up done, and I'll take care of everything.
Monica: Ooh! But the band and the photographer are coming all the way in from New Jersey!
Monica: (Putting down her phone) Well, the club lost it's power.
Phoebe: Me too! (turning to Monica) Monica, do you think we could do it?
Monica: (thinking) AFFIRMATIVE!
Monica: (walking around with her headset still on) OK LET'S GET THESE CHAIRS OUT HERE! Gunther, hit the Christmas lights. (He does so and the lights above the chairs light up. Monica looks satisfied) Okay, who left the ice sculpture (picks up a piece of ice from the ground) ON THE STEAM GRATE? (nobody answers)
Monica: Level 1 alert. I repeat, level 1. This is not a drill. Okay we've got a situation. The minister just called. He's snowed in. He can't make it.
Monica: Really?
Monica: Okay, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the isle.
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
(Cut to inside Central Perk where Rachel is helping Phoebe. Chandler and Monica enter.)
Monica: Okay, Joey's doing the ceremony and Chandler's giving you away.
Monica: So, you're ready to do this?
Monica: I love you. (Phoebe leans in to kiss her.) Oh, wait, wait, wait! No hugs. The dresses... Oh what the hell. (the girls hug)
Rachel and Monica: I love you.
Monica: Okay. (in her microphone) It's zero hour. All teams execute on my count. (to all) Let's get this bad boy on the road.
Chandler: (to Monica) Is it okay that I want you to wear that head set in bed tonight?
Monica: (checking her clipboard) I have you scheduled for nudity at 2300 hours.
Chandler: Oh yeah! (Monica walks outside)
Monica: Okay Marjorie, hit it.
(we cut to Monica)
Monica: Groomsman, groomsman, why are you just standing there, where is your bridesmaid? (into microphone) We've got a broken arrow. Bridesmaid down! (realizes) Oh, that's me.
Monica: Well?
Monica: No, I haven't seen him.
Monica: Aww... (They hug)
(Monica and Rachel's door opens and Rachel and Paolo emerge)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that same day. Joey and Chandler are eating pizza, and Phoebe is trying to knit something.]
MONICA: Did they just kill off Joey?
Monica: Nope. Going to the Big Apple Circus today.
Phoebe: Okay. Oh but dont tell them Monicas pregnant because, they frown on that.
Monica: I don't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers. And there, there are places you can go to get that stuff.
Monica: Ah no, you see, someone was supposed to take them down around New Years... but obviously someone forgot.
[Scene: Monicas birthday, Monica is now dressed and is being helped out by Chandler and Rachel.]
Monica: (without looking up from what she's doing) Besides tampons and salt? (Then looks) Ooh! My God! Maple candy! That's so sweet of you. (Opens the box) That's weird...it's empty!
Monica: (chasing after him) Chandler! It happens to lots of guys! You-you-you were probably tired, you had a lot of champagne, dont worry about it!
Phoebe: Damn you Monica Geller hyphen Bing!
Joey: (entering) Hey uh Monica, I cant remember. Did we say we were gonna meet here or at the movies?
Monica: All right. Have you said, "I love you?" You could say, I love you.
MICH: I don't know if Monica told you but this is the first date I've gone on since my divorce so, if I seem a little nervous, I am.
Monica: Listen, uh, you told me something that was really difficult for you. And I, I-I figured if you could be honest, then I can to.
Monica: Because I need the money, and I thought that itd be a great way to get rid of that last little schmidgen of self-respect.
Monica: Can we come in?
(Monica opens the door.)
Monica: Hi.
Monica: Ross, can I?
Monica: Oh, friends first, drunk in London, you know the story. I've got a better question for you: Do you or any of your blood relatives have diabetes?
(Monica holds Ben.)
Monica: He is so amazing.
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Mr. and Mrs. Geller enter looking particularly refreshed. Monica follows looking rather pale.]
Monica: Awww, look at Aunt Monica's little boy!
Monica: (slams down cards) I hate this game!
Monica: Okay, I think I get how to do this.
Monica: OK, we got the cole slaw, we got the buns...
Monica: Hi! Hey, Pete youre back! Hey, check this out. (She starts to skate over to him)
JOEY: Oh, hey, Monica, we've got a question.
Monica and Phoebe: Ewww!
Monica: Hey.
Monica: You have to help me! Im supposed to be writing my vows and all I have is this! (Shows them what shes been working on.)
Monica: No!! Why didnt you make a copy and-and keep it in a fireproof box and keep it at least a hundred yards from the original?!!
Monica: You're going to China?
Monica: Joey... we always know what you mean.
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: How was that possible?
Monica: And Mindy, your maid of...?
Monica: Okay, so you were trying to play bad this whole time.
MONICA: I'm just easing you in.
Monica: So, uh, have you ever thought about being there for her?
(Monica rolls her eyes.)
Monica: Think about it.
Monica: (goes to Chandler) Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair.
Monica: Gosh, doesn't it seem like a million years ago?
Monica: Y'know, just be there for her.
Monica: I can't believe he did this.
Monica: I have no moves. (He moves in to kiss her and she laughs and backs away.) Okay, whatcha doin there?! (Giggles.) Oh yknow what? Im sorry, this is just too weird.
Monica: Are you freaking kidding me, Green?
Monica: Ethan, it's um... it's icky.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: Hey-hey, how goes the dancing? Gay yet?
Monica: Rachel, what're you gonna say to him?
Monica: I just thought he was nice, y'know?
Monica: From here to the airport?
Monica: Okay then, I dont stink. Im a good chef. Okay. (Starts to leave.)
Ross: So, Phoebs owes $7.50, Monica, you owe $10, and Rachel, you owe fifteen big ones.
Monica: Its only been a couple of hours, so just give it some time.
Monica and Phoebe: Sure.
Monica: Then why the hell are you dumping my brother?!?
Monica: Wait a minute! Unless, we give her all gifts she can use after shes done being pregnant. Like-like umm, regular coffee, Tequila.
Monica: Is there? Is there someone else?
Monica: Why isn't it working out?
Monica: Mail call, Rachel Green, bunk seven.
Monica: Oh, from who?
MONICA: Ok. [Richard walks in] Hey, why don't you ask Richard?
Monica: Aww, the only reason you want to go out with me because my blond wig, and the big boobs, and the fact that I serve you food.
Monica: Oh, why?
Monica: (gets up) No, no, no, no, no, no pressure, no pressure!
Monica: No, you can't! Friends hooking up is a bad idea.
Monica: Okay. (They both jump up to head for there room, but Monica stops.) But wait, we cant. My Cousin Cassie is in the guest room, were supposed to have lunch.
Monica: No, its not bad. Its not bad at all. Its-its really nice.
Rachel: Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said that you only have to pay for the stuff that you bought.
Monica: Oh, hes catching up to her!
Monica: I'm sure they'll be here soon.
Rachel: Oh uh-uh pal! Dont call me mommy! Its bad enough you call your own mother that. (He looks at Monica.)
MONICA: There's a game?
MONICA: Oh God, you are about to get sooo lucky.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving Joey, Ross, and Monica their drinks.]
Monica: Ohh come on, I love this song! Come on, youll be fine. (She starts to walk towards the floor.)
Monica: (pulling the plate back) Oh-ho! But not in here! Cant eat em in bed, remember? No crumbies!
Phoebe: Sure! (When Monica gets close to the door.) (Yelling) Yeah! Las Vegas, number one!
Monica: (to Julie) It's an expression.
Monica: Pheebes, you know what I'm thinking?
Monica: No you're not.
Monica: Why not?
Monica: No, although now that's what I'm thinking.
Monica: Sweetie, I wanted you to have him too.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning.]
Monica: So? How did it go with Joshua last night?
Monica: Yeah. But of course we had to update it a little bit. (To Ross) Hey, by the way, great thinking about catching me!
Monica: Honey, you're not pathetic, you're sad.
Monica: Rachel, how did this happen?
[Monica and Phoebe enter.]
[Cut to Chandler entering his and Monicas apartment alight with a thousand candles in The One With The Proposal.]