words in movies
[Scene: In a TV commercial that the gang is watching at Monica and Rachel's.]
PHOEBE: I can see that, 'cause they both have those big brown eyes and, ya know, the little pouty chin. MONICA: And the fact that they're both monkeys.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are at the couch.]
MONICA: [reading] 'Dear Dr. Remore, know that I love you and would do anything to have you.' Gosh. 'Your not-so-secretive admirer, Erica Ford.' Ooh wait, 'PS enclosed please find 14 of my eyelashes.'
MONICA: This wasn't addressed to Days of Our Lives, this is, this came to your apartment. There's no stamp on it, this woman was in our building.
[They run out and knock on Monica and Rachel's door]
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is getting ready to sing for the kids. Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
MONICA: I can't believe Joey's having lunch with his stalker. What i-, what is she like.
RACHEL AND MONICA: Yeah.
MONICA: Ah, and I mean, he's going out with her? He can not persue this.
MONICA: Excellent!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and the guys are watching Days of Our Lives.]
MONICA: Rachel, it's a world where Joey is a neuro-surgeon.
MONICA: And then he told me he would run away with me, and he didn't. [throws water in his face]
MONICA: Ross, there he is.
ROSS: Hey, hey buddy, Marcel. Marcel. [Marcel doesn't react so Ross starts singing] In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight. [no reaction from Marcel, Monica and Joey urge him on] In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight. [Marcel looks over and everyone joins in] a-weema-way, a-weema-way..... [Marcel runs over and hops up on Ross's shoulder]
[cut to Monica and Rachel walking through the set]
MONICA: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
MONICA: Jean-Claude Van Damme. I didn't know he was in this movie, he is so hot.
MONICA: The muscles from Brussels, wham bam Van Damme, did you see Time Cop?
MONICA: Rachel, he like, totally changed time.
MONICA: Oh, yeah.
MONICA: He could hear me.
MONICA: Oh Rachel don't, don't you dare, don't, don't. Tell him I cook.
[back to Rachel and Monica]
MONICA: So what'd he say?
MONICA: Well, thanks anyway.
MONICA: Rachel if you, if you want to go out with him, you can. Sound like a big jerk to me but if that's what you want to do...
MONICA: Oh, I'll have an espresso. Oh acutally, I'll get it. If I ask you to, you'll probably end up drinking it yourself.
MONICA: What did you say?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are upset with each other. Phoebe is mediating.]
RACHEL: Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. [Monica starts making faces behind her back] She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
PHOEBE: Alright Monica, if there is something that you would like to share...
MONICA: Ya know, you had no right to go out with him.
MONICA: You sold me out.
MONICA: Yes you did. Absolutely.
RACHEL: Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]
MONICA: Did you just flick me?
RACHEL: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
MONICA: Quit flicking [flicks]
MONICA: You flicked me first.
MONICA AND RACHEL: Ow. Ow. Ow.
MONICA: Uh-huh.
MONICA: OK.
MONICA: Yes.
MONICA: Fine,
[Scene: Monica and Van Damme are walking down the street.]
MONICA: I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? [he nods] Can you beat up that guy?
MONICA: This is so wild. Ya know, I gotta admit, I was kinda surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date.
MONICA: Well, what made you make the exception for me?
[Scene: Back at Monica and Rachel's apartment. They are now fighting about what Rachel told Van Damme.]
MONICA: Say you're sorry.
MONICA: Say it.
[Monica grabs Rachel by the sweater. Rachel squirms out of it]
MONICA: Rachel, you say you're sorry or your sweater gets it.
MONICA: Say you're sorry.
MONICA: What're you gonna do?
MONICA: You don't have the guts.
[Monica pulls a thread on Rachel's sweater and Rachel dumps the tomato sauce in Monica's purse]
[Monica and Rachel start yelling at the same time]
MONICA: I'll help you fix your sweater.
MONICA: I'm sorry that I made you stop seeing him.
MONICA: I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves [pulls Rachel's gloves out of her purse]
[Scene: The movie set. Monica and Rachel are saying goodbye to Jean-Claude]
VAN DAMME: [to Rachel] I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and me, [to Monica] or you and me. Drew was very disappointed.
MONICA: Well, bye for me too. [kisses him]
MONICA: OK.
MONICA AND RACHEL: Oh, no no no no no.
MONICA AND RACHEL: No no no no.
MONICA: But no. Maybe if I were baking.
MONICA AND RACHEL: Bye-bye.
Monica: Okay, I just don't get why you like it so much.
Monica: Chandler, please, come on. Look at him. (Pointing to a picture of Ralph on a magazine,.)
Monica: Honey, we dont really have to go to this thing tonight do we?
Monica: You know what? I take back what I said before. You keep playing at the restaurant, because with your music driving people inside, my bar sales are going up like crazy.
Phoebe: Oh, okay! (reading) "Would I go back to Allesandros? Sure, but Id have to order two meals, one for me and one for the guy pointing the gun to my head." (to Monica) Wow! You really laid into this place.
Monica: Nothing, um, it's just, um... It's Roger.
Monica: All right, I'll see you guys later. (raises)
Monica: Thank you.
Monica: Ill get it.
Ross: LookOkay, Im just gonnaIm gonna have to go find him and bring him back! Okay? You-you make sure Monica does not find out, okay?
Monica: Heres the plan! Okay? Im going to leave you get a look at Brendas bra!
Monica: Well. Sounds like you're writing yourself a little play there Rach. Wow! Let me know how that one turns out.
Monica: Oh. Hi, Mr.Heckles.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica answers the door and lets her parents in. They are carrying boxes.]
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.]
(Both Monica and Rachel laugh.)
Joey: So Monica, still going out with Dr. Boring huh?
Monica: Come on Rach, come on. Lets see whats it like to be on a winning team for a change.
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, they are taking Phoebe to the hospital but Chandler and Monica hold back.]
Monica: Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'.
Rachel: "Im Monica, I dont get phone messages from interesting people. Ever!"
Monica: Come here. (He does, and they kiss.) Okay, be right back.
(She takes the pencil out of Monica's coffee and Monica puts her cup down in disgust.)
Chandler: Monica, I was wondering if you can make me some of that righteous mac and cheese like last year.
Monica: What are you guys doing here?
Monica: Because theyll know weve been listening.
Monica: So whenever youre ready to apologize to me, I will forgive you. Good day! (Monica and Phoebe reenter the apartment and Monica closes the door on a stunned Mrs. Green.) I cant feel my legs!
Monica: Oh, I can't pass for 22?
Monica: Are you alright?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, shes lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.]
(Monica points the remote at her TV, and punches out a key combination from the book, but the dreaded SAP logo remains and Spanish still comes forth.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, scene continued from earlier. They both get up and move to the window.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel folding and packing clothes in suitcases as Phoebe enters.]
(Phoebe joins Chandler on the couch as there is a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
Monica: How's it going?
Monica: Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join ya. You know, I'm your friend (to Phoebe) and Mike's friend (Mike is sceptical).
Monica: He's a dropper!
Monica: I am 26.
Monica: Burning's good.
Monica: Wow! That Mike thing was interesting! I don't know what's gonna happen with Phoebe and David.
Monica: Oh-my-god Rachel! (Rushing out to look over the edge) Rachel!
Monica: Really?
Monica: We all chipped in.
Rachel: And a nice hot cider for Monica. (Hands it to her.)
Mrs. Geller: (to Monica) Your grandmother would have hated this.
Monica: Well there's not much we can do.
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey! Joey said no autographs! But if she's gettting one, then I want one too: To Monica. And none of this "best wishes" crap. I want "love".
Monica: Im tellingIf you put that in her apartment youll never hear the end of it.
(Brenda bends down to use the dustpan and Monica leans over to look for the stain, but leans so far over she falls out of the chair.)
Monica: Hah, no no no no no no no no no no.
[Scene: The New School, Monica, carrying her dish, and Joey are confronting the food critic.]
Monica: Im so glad you liked it.
Monica: Do this for me! Come on, I catch you looking at womans breasts all the time!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time has passed. The five are sitting around the coffee table talking.]
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, Phoebe is trying to hide the bed from Monica.]
Monica (as Rachel): Hi.
Rachel (as Monica): Hi, this is my friend Rachel.
Monica (as Rachel): Thank you.
Monica: I think it's totally insane, I mean, they work for the hospital. It's like returning to the scene of the crime. You know, I say we blow off the dates.
Monica: Yes? (jumping as Rachel punches her arm) ..yes, she is.
Monica: Uh, you left out the stupid part.
Rachel (as Monica): Right.
Monica: Oh...
Monica: Oh, I didnt know you liked football.
Monica: Oh, I asked one of the waitresses at work if she'd help me out.
(Rachel goes into her room and Monica enters the living room as Ross is leaving.)
Monica: Hi, Geoffrey.
Monica: Hi, come on in.
Monica: I know, but you have to open it today! (Hands it too him.)
Monica: It's uh...
(Monica and Rachel both cover their eyes)
Rachel: Oh, Monica! Would you stop being such a wuss?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are telling Joey, Rachel, and Monica of their bank woes.]
Monica: What?
Monica: What!?
Monica: It's not ok to do it in a doctor's office but it is ok to do it in a parked car behind a Taco Bell?
Monica: (getting angry) What!!?
Monica: Sure, every time, you're such a princess...
Monica: Because they dont know were dating. (Again, trying to quickly change subjects.) Do you think we should eat in the kitchen? (Goes to the sink and the stove to cook.)
Rachel: Ohh Oh, honey here. Take it all. (Pours the entire large bowl into her bag and closes the door.) Monica! We need more candy?
Monica: (as Rachel) I used to wet my bed.
Rachel: (as Monica) I use my breasts to get other people's attention.
Fat Monica: Oh gosh, listen if you and Chip do it tonight, promise me you'll tell me everything.
(Monica glares triumphantly across the room, scaring Rachel who also stands up.)
Monica: It will not be fine. We'll get in trouble.
Monica: Ross, he's got the remote again.
Monica: Yeah, you have to go fight for her!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is talking to Phoebe about trying to give Joey some money.]
Chandler: Come on Monica, its our Valentines Day. Please? Please-please, please?
Monica: Thank you.
Monica:: sweetie it's ok, I still love you, let me be a part of this.
Monica: Hi.
Monica: Yes.
Monica: Honey, you know I think you're hilarious! Come on, you know that joke you told me last week? The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye...? (he laughs) That slayed me.
Chandler: Nobody is opening anything ok? Look, I dont know about you guys, but I wanna see the look on Monicas face when I give her my present, and Im sure she wants to see the look on my face when I get mine. So please, please, can we just, can we put them back?
Richard: And-and then I sneak out and before Monica can her parents come in.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on the couch still doing the crossword. Chandler is in the kitchen.]
Monica: (to Phoebe) Oh my God! Did you hear that? She hired me because she thinks Im good.
Rachel: (as Monica) Hi, remember us?
Monica: (as Rachel) Um, okay. You just called a little while ago about needing a signature on the admissions form. Well, it turns out we need a whole new one (little laugh) because uh, you see, I-I, I put the wrong name again. (Little laugh) 'cause um...