words in movies
[Scene: In a TV commercial that the gang is watching at Monica and Rachel's.]
PHOEBE: I can see that, 'cause they both have those big brown eyes and, ya know, the little pouty chin. MONICA: And the fact that they're both monkeys.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe are at the couch.]
MONICA: [reading] 'Dear Dr. Remore, know that I love you and would do anything to have you.' Gosh. 'Your not-so-secretive admirer, Erica Ford.' Ooh wait, 'PS enclosed please find 14 of my eyelashes.'
MONICA: This wasn't addressed to Days of Our Lives, this is, this came to your apartment. There's no stamp on it, this woman was in our building.
[They run out and knock on Monica and Rachel's door]
[Scene: Library. Phoebe is getting ready to sing for the kids. Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
MONICA: I can't believe Joey's having lunch with his stalker. What i-, what is she like.
RACHEL AND MONICA: Yeah.
MONICA: Ah, and I mean, he's going out with her? He can not persue this.
MONICA: Excellent!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Monica, Rachel, and the guys are watching Days of Our Lives.]
MONICA: Rachel, it's a world where Joey is a neuro-surgeon.
MONICA: And then he told me he would run away with me, and he didn't. [throws water in his face]
MONICA: Ross, there he is.
ROSS: Hey, hey buddy, Marcel. Marcel. [Marcel doesn't react so Ross starts singing] In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight. [no reaction from Marcel, Monica and Joey urge him on] In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight. [Marcel looks over and everyone joins in] a-weema-way, a-weema-way..... [Marcel runs over and hops up on Ross's shoulder]
[cut to Monica and Rachel walking through the set]
MONICA: Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
MONICA: Jean-Claude Van Damme. I didn't know he was in this movie, he is so hot.
MONICA: The muscles from Brussels, wham bam Van Damme, did you see Time Cop?
MONICA: Rachel, he like, totally changed time.
MONICA: Oh, yeah.
MONICA: He could hear me.
MONICA: Oh Rachel don't, don't you dare, don't, don't. Tell him I cook.
[back to Rachel and Monica]
MONICA: So what'd he say?
MONICA: Well, thanks anyway.
MONICA: Rachel if you, if you want to go out with him, you can. Sound like a big jerk to me but if that's what you want to do...
MONICA: Oh, I'll have an espresso. Oh acutally, I'll get it. If I ask you to, you'll probably end up drinking it yourself.
MONICA: What did you say?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are upset with each other. Phoebe is mediating.]
RACHEL: Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. [Monica starts making faces behind her back] She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
PHOEBE: Alright Monica, if there is something that you would like to share...
MONICA: Ya know, you had no right to go out with him.
MONICA: You sold me out.
MONICA: Yes you did. Absolutely.
RACHEL: Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]
MONICA: Did you just flick me?
RACHEL: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
MONICA: Quit flicking [flicks]
MONICA: You flicked me first.
MONICA AND RACHEL: Ow. Ow. Ow.
MONICA: Uh-huh.
MONICA: OK.
MONICA: Yes.
MONICA: Fine,
[Scene: Monica and Van Damme are walking down the street.]
MONICA: I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? [he nods] Can you beat up that guy?
MONICA: This is so wild. Ya know, I gotta admit, I was kinda surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date.
MONICA: Well, what made you make the exception for me?
[Scene: Back at Monica and Rachel's apartment. They are now fighting about what Rachel told Van Damme.]
MONICA: Say you're sorry.
MONICA: Say it.
[Monica grabs Rachel by the sweater. Rachel squirms out of it]
MONICA: Rachel, you say you're sorry or your sweater gets it.
MONICA: Say you're sorry.
MONICA: What're you gonna do?
MONICA: You don't have the guts.
[Monica pulls a thread on Rachel's sweater and Rachel dumps the tomato sauce in Monica's purse]
[Monica and Rachel start yelling at the same time]
MONICA: I'll help you fix your sweater.
MONICA: I'm sorry that I made you stop seeing him.
MONICA: I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves [pulls Rachel's gloves out of her purse]
[Scene: The movie set. Monica and Rachel are saying goodbye to Jean-Claude]
VAN DAMME: [to Rachel] I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and me, [to Monica] or you and me. Drew was very disappointed.
MONICA: Well, bye for me too. [kisses him]
MONICA: OK.
MONICA AND RACHEL: Oh, no no no no no.
MONICA AND RACHEL: No no no no.
MONICA: But no. Maybe if I were baking.
MONICA AND RACHEL: Bye-bye.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross and Rachel are entering]
RACHEL: Well not when they find out you slept with Jason Hurley an hour after he broke up with Monica.
MONICA: Well yeah, but, you know, uh, 27 is a dangerous eye age.
Monica: Hey. Its three in the morning. They dont know that Ive come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
Monica: How hard is it? No shoes on the furniture.
Monica: (entering) Hey guys.
MONICA: All right people, we're in trouble here. We've only got 12 hours and 36 minutes left. Move, move, move!
Monica: Yeah. The great thing about the jam plan was, I was taking control of my life. So I asked myself, what is the most important thing to me in the world and that's when I came up with the baby plan.
Monica: Well, after 15 years of mom and dad keeping it as a shrine to you, its time the velvet ropes came down.
Monica: The big hat, the pearls, the little pick handbag.
Monica: Oh, so you finally took it out of the marina huh?
MONICA: God, this is so hard. I can't decide between lamb or duck.
Monica: You're gonna what?
Monica: I just dont think arcade games go in the beautiful guest room. The beautiful guest room is gonna be filled with antiques.
Monica: Joey, this is you!
Monica: Y'know if its any consolation, he really did sound like he was having more fun with you. (Rachel nods in agreement)
Phoebe: Thank you, Monica.
Monica: Nothing. I just think it's nice when we're all here together.
Monica: No! Listen, Im not gonna go through this with you again, okay. Just once I wanna beat when you cant blame it on the broken nose, the buzzer, or the fact that you thought you were getting mono. Lets just call this, tie score and its halftime.
MONICA: (entering) Richard buzzed. He's waiting downstairs.
Monica: Hey.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering]
Monica: Really? Why?
Monica: What?
Monica: Sperm.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Rachel are returning from a movie.]
Monica: To the bank.
Monica: Oh yeah, picked a guy, 37135.
Phoebe: I went shopping with Monica all day, and I had a salad.
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: This isn't easy for me either. I wish things were different, I... If you were a few years older, or if I was a few years younger, or if we lived in biblical times, I would really...
Photographer: Now why dont we get a shot of just Monica and the bloody soldier.
Monica: Ooh! But the band and the photographer are coming all the way in from New Jersey!
Monica: What if it's new? I mean, we agreed not to talk again, unless we had something really important to say. Shouldn't I call him back?
ROSS: There we go. All better. (gives Ben back to Monica)
Rachel: Umm, well lets see Monica and Chandler are occupied.
Monica: (gives her an envelope) Would you just open it?
Joey: All right, all right, all right. (Starts to leave, stops, and turns around) I mean Ill have to check with him first, but Ill think hell be cool with it. (Monica shoos him out.)
Monica: (hearing that) Thats it big girl! (Hits Janine in the butt with the garbage bag) Come on!
Ross: (entering with Monica in tow) Hey!
Monica: (closing the fridge in disgust) Shoot! Were out of soda.
MONICA: You look fabulous honey, you really do.
Monica: Welcome to our side of the tunnel.
JOEY: Hey Monica, why are we watchin' the business channel?
Monica: That is never good.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are comforting Chandler]
Monica: Couldn't you just stay like this forever? (His eyes snap open.) Chandler! Couldn't you just stay here forever?
Rachel and Monica: Nooo!
Monica: She has to know that your not ready.
Doug: Come on honey, let's go drink our body weight. (They walk off leaving Chandler and Monica alone.)
Monica: Honey, we have been through this before!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Ross is acting nervous]
Monica: (going through her pockets) No... (to Chandler and Phoebe) Either of you girls got a quarter?
Monica: I cant believe you. You still havent told that girl she doesnt have a job yet?
Monica: God, look what I found in the drain.
Monica: See, now this is why I keep notepads everywhere.
Ross: There was no song. (to Monica) There was no song!
Monica: '....Won't you, won't you, won't you.... '
Monica: Well, you used to dress up in Mom's clothes all the time.
Monica: Wasn't there a little song?
Monica: (singing) 'I am Bea.'
MONICA: Hey, I've come to terms with it, you have to too.
Monica: Oh, that's what I would do, forget mine.
Monica: So, Chandler, whos on your list?
Joey: Hey, Monica, who would yours be?
Monica: First, I need a boyfriend, then I can have a list.
Phoebe: This is Monica.
(Everyone starts to dance in unison. Monica flounders)
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Monica: Thats a little more than I wanted to see.
Monica: Why, whats wrong with my bathroom floor?
Monica: Did you ever feel like sometimes you are just so unbelievably uncoordinated?
Monica: Well, if you really think about it, I mean four days is not that long. I mean, I see you Monday before you go to work, and I see you Thursday when you get back, and I always work late on Tuesdays, so really if you think about it, it's really just one day. And well, if we can't make it one day, we've got real problems my friend.
Monica: If you want, I'll do it.
Monica: So hows it going with you guys?
Monica: Richard's living room, drinking wine.
Monica: Really, is he a swimmer?
Chandler: You know what's not funny? Male Pattern Baldness (Monica stretches her neck to look behind Zack's head and then gives Chandler an "ok" sign)
Monica: I just asked you.
Monica: It's some of Richard's hair! (holds it close to Ross) What do I do with this?
MONICA: OK, what're we gonna do about this?
Monica: Whats the matter?
[Scene: Monica and Rachels bathroom, Joey and Monica are admiring the new floor.]
Monica: I don't, I just, I just like the smell of them. So, uh, what are you really doing here Dad?
Monica: Well, it was good to see you too. Did you come down here to tell me that?
Monica: All right, it'll be great! You just make her think you wanna have sex with her! It'll totally freak her out!
Monica: Just like you told her you did! (Chandler glares at her.) ... Just pointing out the irony.
Monica: Congratulations, I think youve found the worlds thinnest argument.
Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Monica: ...horribly attractive. I'll be shutting up now.
MONICA: Happy birthday dad.
Monica: And who laminated it?
Monica: This is me in The Sound of Music. See the von Trapp kids?
Monica and Rachel: What?!!
Monica: Honey, we've been trying to have a baby for over a year. I think it's a good idea to find out if everything's ok. Just a few routine tests.
Joey: Well, there was that one time that Monica and Rachel got together.
Monica: What?
Monica: Hi.
[Scene: the hallway, Monica is coming up the stairs.]
Monica: Hey, did you pick a roommate?