words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel and Monica are there. Ross walks in with a magazine in his hand.]
Monica: That didnt work on mom, its not going to work on us.
Chandler: Monica, you remember me telling you that joke, right?
Monica: No.
Monica: Well, you tell a lot of jokes!
Chandler: Nah, Monicas watching some cooking show. Come on, I dont want to miss when they were skinny.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Rachel are on the couch looking at the Playboy magazine. When they hear someone coming, Monica goes to hide it under the sofa cushions.]
Monica: (relieved) Its only you.
Monica: So do you think that these picturesAre, are they trying to tell a story?
Monica: Well, shes not going to find them lying in the grass like that.
Rachel and Monica: Yeah.
Monica: Okay, Ive got a question. If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be?
Monica: Me neither.
Monica: What?!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are in bed together.]
Monica: (visibly upset) She picked Rachel. I mean, she tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel.
Monica: Its wrong. You know what else is wrong? Phoebe picking Rachel.
Monica: Thats a good idea.
Monica: Do you know whats a bad idea?
Monica: Thats right. (A noise comes from the living room.) Did you hear something?
Monica: Its coming from the living room.
Joey: (sheepishly) I finished my book. (Chandler and Monica slowly retreat back to bed.)
Monica: (entering) Hey, you guys.
Monica: (laughing) Oh, dont you guys look cute. You guys make such a cute couple.
Rachel: Monica, what are you doing?
Monica: (laughing harder) Nothing, Im just trying to recreate some of the fun that we had at my place the other day. (To Phoebe) Remember, when you picked Rachel over me? That was funny.
Monica: (angrily) It wasnt funny at all! Why would you do that? Why didnt you pick me?
Monica: That is completely untrue. You think Im high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to make a list and were going to go through it point by point!
Rachel: (To Monica) Well, people are different.
Rachel: Oh my you think Im a pushover. Well wait, watch this, you know what? Youre not invited to lunch. What do you think of that? I think thats pretty strong, thats what I think. Come on, Monica, lets go to lunch. (She leaves)
Monica: (to Phoebe) You start working on that list. (She grabs her coat and leaves, too.)
Monica: I know. Where do you wanna go eat?
Monica: Im sick of Japanese. Were not going there.
Monica: All right.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are there as Ross enters and sees Gunther.]
Joey: Sure. (To Monica and Rachel) Coffee? Cause Im going up there.
Monica: No, thank you.
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?
Joey: Just being friendly. (He gives Monica a whats wrong with you? look and proceeds to walk behind the counter.)
Monica: Joey, do you work here?
Monica: Joey, whats going on. What didnt you tell us you work here?
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Rachel and Monica enter.]
Monica: So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. But you know what we decided you are?
Monica: Hah!
Monica: Well, then, Im okay with being high maintenance.
Monica: I am not high maintenance!
Monica and Rachel: You did!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Ross are both pouting and sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: Lets have Monica decide.
Ross: Monica! (She appears, not sure why she was summoned.)
Monica: Why do I have to decide?
Monica: I cant be fair. Youre my boyfriend.
Chandler: (to Ross) Dont try to sway her. (To Monica) (Softly) Im your only chance to have a baby. Okay, lets go.
Monica: Okay, Chandler, you go first.
Monica: Oh, wait, is he the guy I met at Christmas?
Monica: Do you want me to pick you?!
(Chandler motions to Monica that hell give her two babies.)
Monica: Continue.
Monica: All right, Ive heard enough. Ive made my decision.
Monica: You are both idiots. The joke is not funny, and its offensive to women, and doctors, and monkeys! You shouldnt be arguing over who gets credit, you should be arguing over who gets blamed for inflicting this horrible joke upon the world! Now let it go! The joke sucks!
(Monica leaves the room)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at a table and Phoebe is on the couch. Chandler and Monica can be seen outside, shes lecturing him, and pushes him inside. He then nods to Rachel, and is obviously counting off the seconds in his head and then Monica makes a grand enterance.]
Monica: Hi, Chandler. There you are.
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
Chandler: (starts to recite a rehearsed speech) Monica is a self-sufficient, together lady. (Pause.) Being with her has been like being on a vacation. And what may be perceived as high maintenance is merely attention to detail and(He falters and Monica prompts him.)generosity of spirit.
Monica: Wait, wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler.
Monica: Look, I am not high maintenance. I am not. Chandler!
Monica: Ahhh! You are on my list.
Monica: (embarrassed) (To Phoebe and Rachel) I didnt even tell him to say that. (They hug). All right youre off my list.
Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Yknow, suddenly I find you very attractive.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the kitchen table, talking.]
Monica: I pick you, Phoebe.
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
Monica: Ah no, the other Phoebe, the one you went to go see.
Monica: Well, why would she lie to you?
Monica: Oh well, where is he?!
Monica: Yeah. (to Chandler) I bet you cant guess what color my tonsils are? Ill bet the apartment!
Monica: You guys! Do you realize that any minute now, Phoebe can be pregnant?
Monica: Strip Happy Days Game?
Monica: You made a joke right? So I laughed.
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Pete is talking to Monica about the restaurant.]
Rachel: Monica, please?
Monica: Hes totally flirting with you too.
Monica: Why would the little girl creep you out?
Monica: Huh?
Monica: What?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering again.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is returning from Petes.]
Monica: Windows are clean, candels are lit. Uh, belt's to tight, gotta change the belt. Did I turn the fish? (goes over to the kitchen to check on the dinner) No, cause I made lasagne. (to Rachel) Am I out of control?
MONICA: You know what, maybe I don't need to have children. You know maybe I just think I do because that is what society, and by that I mean my mom, has always convinced me that I...(sees two little girls dancing together) I do, I have to have children, I'm sorry, I just do.
Rachel and Monica: Ohh! (both grab there stomachs in pain)
(He goes over and gives Rachel the same treatment he gave Monica, only Rachel is shocked.)
Monica: And what are you laughing at, Miss `My-keg-sucking-boyfriend-is-stealing-from-me!'
Monica: You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it!
Rachel and Monica: Uff.
Monica: Thats that weird voice again.
Monica: Yeah, but if it's good news, you should tell him now.
[cut to Monica opening the door of the beach house, with Chandler trying to pick her up for a date.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Everybody's sitting on the couch and Monica is eating a chunk of cake.]
Monica: Whats fish hooking?
Monica: Close? She's got her tongue in his ear.
[Monica is visibly upset]
Monica: Really?!
Monica: Oh.
[Next is a shot of them dragging an enormous plant into the room, then Monica knitting a sweater, then Phoebe singing, then Phoebe shaving him and chatting to Monica]
Monica: Look, when it started I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brother's girlfriend. And then, one thing led to another and, before I knew it, we were...shopping.
Monica: �A qui�n pidio el pollo General Tso? (Who ordered General Sal's chicken?)
Monica: (crying) So, I went down to the post office, and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered for Richard about the Civil War. He loved the Civil War.
Monica: Ohh Oh, thats okay I hate when people come back to complement the chef. Like I have nothing better to do! So whats up?
Monica: But you should eat them now because theyre hot from the oven.
Monica: (gasps) Totally familiar. (Phoebe shows the rest of them.)
Monica: Im getting married!!!! Im gonna be a bride!!!! (Someone else yells at her.) No, I will not shut up because Im engaged! (He yells again.) Ohh, big talk! Huh, why dont you come over here and say that to me?! Huh, buddy?! Yeah, my fiancee will kick your ass! (Chandler starts to look worried.) Come on, apartment 20! Apartment 20!
(Phoebe and Monica walk in from getting some coffee.)
Monica: Rach, did you check the machine?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Joey are there looking at pictures from the trip to London.]
Monica: Ennnh.
Monica: (screaming in pain) Ow!! Ow!!!
Monica: What?!! Gross!!
Monica: What?! What is it?!
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Monica: Nothing, I dont know.
Monica: Oh, thats okay. By the way, I was just checking the shower massager.
Monica: You didnt even take off your pants.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Here you go. You can wear this. (hands her a sweater)
(Monica screams, throws the mouse down, and rubs her hands on Rosss sweater to clean them.)
Emily: Monica, why have you brought me here of all places?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading The Shining, as Monica enters.]
Rachel: Ohh, its gonna be so great! Im gonna get to help decide what we sell, Im gonna have an office with walls and everything. (turns to Monica) Im gonna have walls!
Chandler, Monica, and Joey: NO!!!
Monica: Pass the cheese, please.
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.
MONICA: Tonight you're supposed to waitress for me, my catering thing, any of those words trigger anything for you?
[Scene: Joey’s apartment. Everybody except Monica and Chandler is there.]
Monica: (puts down the lasagne) I just... can't do it.
Monica: I was in too much pain.
Monica: Same category?
Monica: Promise me youll be careful.
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Ooh, I left my purse up at Monicas. Ill be right back. (She goes to get it.)
Monica: Please, could you just try it for me? Come on, I used all my best stuff! I-I-I lit some candles. I put on some music. I used bath salts, plus bubble bath! And got you this little plastic Navy ship. So its a boy bath!
Monica: Look, guys, you can't do this, it's just going to make getting over each other, that much harder.
Monica: Chasing him all around the room?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is watching TV, but turns it off, and Rachel is sleeping on the couch. Ross puts a blanket over her.]
Monica: Like a log.
MONICA: Really? I'm perfectly comfortable. [one of the guest opens the refrigerator] Hey, hey, hey, get in line buddy, I was next. [she opens the refrigerator and leans into it]
MONICA: So what, he's a little older, big deal, I mean he's important to me. Ya know if you ask him, he might take you on his Jag. [walks off]
Monica: You bet.
Monica: Dad, Chandler was just laughing at your joke.
[Scene: The Ultimate Fighting Championship, Ross and Monica are there watching Pete.]
[Flashback to Monica and Chandlers apartment. Chandler has a bunch of people over in formal wear to give Monica a surprise birthday party. Joey is coming out of the bathroom and removing his tie.]
Monica: Hey!!
Monica: Will you stop!
Monica: I cant believe this is taking so long. How are you doing?
MONICA: Hey, have you guys eaten, because uh, Richard and I just finished and we've got leftovers... Chicken and potatoes... What am I wearing?...Actually, nothing but rubber gloves.
Monica: Shhh!
Monica: Yesss!!
Monica: Aww, man!
Rachel: So, come on, what was the big news Pete wanted to tell you Mon?! Or should I say Mrs. Monica Becker?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Joey are there.]
Chandler: Hey Rach! Ah........ Perfection. (kisses monica) Wouldn't change a thing. Not a thing.
Monica: Hey. Okay, I gave him another chance, but Tim has got to go!
Monica: Oh, no. He doesn't have time for that. But if you want, you can go help him and Joey pack up the guest room.
Monica: We're moving in a couple of days and we've got a lot of packing to do. It would be great if you guys could pitch in.
Monica: Well Id probably be scared of a guy using a fake voice.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Sweetie! Edges! Fingers! Smudgey! Pictures!
Monica: What, that little thing at the prom?
Monica: I just thought that if I could follow the wire I could find out what it did.
Monica: You painting his toenails?
Ross: Monicas right. Were talking about getting married here. Okay? She-she cant just rush into this.
Monica: Oh, really?!
Monica: Oh God (Starts looking around.) Why dont they put chairs back here?!
Monica: Ill try.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, they are all there eating breakfast.]