words in movies
[Scene: A Video Store, Monica is running in to return a video.]
Monica: (to clerk) Hi.
Monica: Six? I just had it for one night. Its three.
Monica: Y'know in a weird way, you have too much power. Look, youre gonna have to help me out here, cause I only have three.
Monica: Oh my God. Richard? (turns around) Hi!
Monica: Wow! Your lip went bald. (Richard pays the clerk) Hey, thanks.
Monica: Right.
Monica: What?
Monica: (removes them) Thats because I-I was just grabbing some things out of the dryer, and its static cling. Or maybe its just that God knew Id be running into you and saw an opportunity.
Monica: Its good to see you too.
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
Monica: You see that guy? Hes in classics now, but y'know as soon as we leave hes going straight to the porn.
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: Me too.
Monica: Oh, um, I dont know if thats a good idea.
Monica: No, I just I think that its too soon.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Ross. Joey, and Rachel are eating breakfast. Chandler is holding a bottle of Herseys Syrup.]
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) Morning.
Monica: Yeah well, I ran into Richard.
Monica: Oh, um, around 8:02. We ah, talked for a little while, and then um, we went out for an innocent burger.
Monica: Tomorrow night.
Rachel: Monica, what are you doing?
Monica: Its not a date, okay. Im just gonna teach him how to make lasagne for some pot luck dinner he has.
Monica: Were not gonna have sex! Okay, nothings changed here. He still doesnt want children and I still do, so thats why were just gonna be friends.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is teaching Richard how to make lasagne.]
Monica: You say Thank you very much, and then you buy me something pretty. Come on, were gonna put are hands in this bowl, and were gonna start squishing the tomatoes.
Monica: You touch peoples eyeballs every day and this feels weird.
Richard: Yeah, well, sure I touch them, but I spent years learning not to squish them. (Monica grabs his hand in the tomatoes.) Thats my hand.
Monica: Oops.
Monica: Gotta keep squishing.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Oh, gosh, you got some on your shirt.
Monica: Hold on a second, just put a little club soda on it (does so) and it should umm, be.....
Monica: Umm, youve got some on your pants.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is talking to Richard on the phone.]
Monica: So, howd the lasagne go over? (listens) Really?! Good. So you owe me three pretty things. (listens) Yeah, Ive been thinking a lot about you too. (listens) I know. Its hard this whole platonic thing. (listens) Its a word!
Monica: Yeah, I do think its better this way. (listens) Yeah, were being smart. (gets up to answer the door) (listens) Yes, Im sure.(she opens the door and its Richard)
Monica: Ill call you back. (starts kissing him)
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, shes in bed with Richard.]
Monica: So we can be friends who sleep together.
Monica: Sounds smart and healthy to me. So um, just out of curiosity, um, do you currently have any other racquetball buddies?
Monica: Oh.
Monica: No! (pushes him) No!
Monica: Cause if you do that means youd be cancelling it for me, and were just friends.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is reading The Shining, as Monica enters.]
Monica: Hi.
Monica: You would not believe my day! I had to work two shifts, and then to top it off, I lost one of my fake boobs, (opens her coat revealing a large burn mark over her left breast.) in a grill fire.
Monica: What are you smiling at?
Monica: Yeah, right.
Monica: I love this friend thing!
[Scene: Richards bedroom, Monica has covered it in rose pedals and candles. We hear Richard come in to the apartment, and Monica frantically throws the rest of the pedals on the bed, and jumps onto the bed and puts a rose in her mouth, and bites a thorn.]
Monica: Ow!
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God! (She frantically tries to clean up the bedroom as Richard starts the tour.)
Richard: The bedroom. Well its pretty much your typical... (opens the door as Monica hides under the covers, and quickly closes the door before his date can see the room.) bedroom.
[Cut to into the bedroom, with Monica still hiding under the covers. Richard enters and sits down next to her.]
Monica: (still hiding under the blankets) So um, who was she?
Monica: (still hiding under the blankets) Did you like her? And Im just asking as a friend, because I am totally fine with this.
Monica: (gets up) Okay, y'know what, Im not fine, Im not. I mean how can I be fine, hearing you come in with her, she wants to see your bedroom.... (pause) Y'know what, what if were friends who dont see other people?
Monica: Why not?! I mean this has been the most amazing week. Would it be so terrible? Even if we were friends who lived together. Or, maybe someday friends who stood up in front of their other friends, and vowed to be friends forever.
Monica: Thats not true, you dont have a moustache.
Monica: Y'know what, Ive got to walk out of here right now, cause getting over you is the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. I dont think I could do it again.
(Monica kisses him.)
Monica: How bout one last game of racquetball?
Monica: Watch the thorns!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, and hes very dejected.]
Monica: Hey, look at me. I'm making jam, been at it since 4 o'clock this morning.
Monica: Yknow, maybe its best that we never got to do it again.
MONICA: Damnit Ross, get your butt out of the bathroom.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Close up of the flan on the table with birthday candles.]
Monica: We're Aunt Monica and uncle Chandler, by the way. You may not recognize us, because we haven't spoken to your parents in seventeen years!
Monica: (faking happiness) Well, I-I-I-I... I don't know...
Ross: Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you.
MONICA: Really?� But tomorrow night is the only night I get off from the restaurant.� If you go to the game, we won't have a night together for another week.
Monica: They all came from the list you handed out to us two weeks ago.
Phoebe: I need to talk to you, its pretty urgent. Its about Monica and Chandler.
Monica: Oh, the way you crushed Mike at ping pong was such a turn-on.You wanna...? (plays with her finger on Chandlers chest)
Monica: All right, umm, were not gonna really keep it this way though.
MONICA: Nothin', nothin', hey you're a cheapasaurus. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, thank you, I'm very greatful.
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ryan is walks up to the door and knocks.]
Monica: (trying not to laugh) Im not laughing.
Monica: I don't know! Why don't you just explain? What do they want? Find out what they want!
[Scene: Outside the Nursery, Chandler is looking at the babies as Monica walks up.]
CHANDLER: I'm sorry.� I, I told you I was in Tulsa because I wanted to spend the night with Monica and I, I didn't know . . .� I didn't think you'd understand.
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica and Chandler are returning and Monica finds her basket is empty.]
Monica: Im checking out the restaurant with Pete.
Mr. Geller: I think I accidentally used Monicas boxes to keep the water away from the Porsche.
Monica: I wish we at least knew his name... Look at that face. I mean, even sleeping, he looks smart. I bet he's a lawyer.
Chandler: (intrigued) Yeah? (Monica nods yes.) I hope youre not thinking about cleaning the living room.
Phoebe: Okay, dont sweat it. (Looking around her.) Chandler is nowhere around so go ahead get it out of your system. That guys cute. (Points to a guy sitting behind Monica.)
[Scene: The beach house, Joey and Chandler are sitting at the dinner table, Monica is looking in the fridge.]
Rachel: Joey! Why did you tell Chandler that Monica was getting a boob job?
Monica: (to Mike) This doesn't concern you!!
[Scene: The hospital, Ross and Monica are in Phoebes room. Phoebe is in the bathroom and Monica notices smoke coming out from underneath the door.]
Monica: Look, I am not high maintenance. I am not. Chandler!
MONICA: Thanks. So, I guess I better be going.
Monica: Well, given that we forgot to invite her it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.
Chandler: Glass, sand, whatever. (Walks out as Monica and Phoebe turn to check on the babies again.)
Monica: Listen uh, I-Ive been doing some thinking, and I dont know whether its because were here or Rachels giving birth but umm, I think we should try to have a baby.
Ross: I grew up with Monica! If you didnt eat fast you didnt eat!!
Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?
Monica: Why would I say anything? That two of our best friends could start the greatest love affair of their lives! And they would have me to thank, and we could all start having babies?
Monica: Well I-I talked to and uh, shes definitely going to have this baby. Yknow, she said she was gonna raise it on her own.
(Monica nods `Yes.' And they both walk to the couch looking all depressed.)
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Continued from earlier, Rachel is now telling everyone of her experience in the garbage room.]
Monica: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, hes actually going to kill you dead.
Monica: I mean this has been like my dream since I got my first Easy Bake Oven and opened Easy Monicas Bakery. I mean I would kill for this job. I mean I can totally do this job, and God knows I paid my dues. (She removes her fake breasts) But Petes just doing this because he has a crush on me.
Monica: You broke a little girls leg?!!
Monica: Look, I know that you're in a place right now where you really need to hate Julie's guts, but she didn't do anything wrong. I mean, she was just a girl who met a guy, and now they go out. I really think that if you gave her a chance, you'd like her. Would you just give that a chance, for me?
Rachel: Monica, last Saturday night, what happened on Walker: Texas Ranger?
Monica: Did you like learn about her family?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are talking. Joey and Phoebe are getting coffee.]
MONICA: Upstairs in the bathroom right before you felt up mom.
Monica: Oh y'know what? If you're gonna be acting like this all night, I really, I don't even want to be around you.
Monica: (on phone) Hello Greg? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica from the plane? Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5 (Listens) (To Chandler) That is their old number! Jennys been giving it out since they moved!
[Cut to Monica and Phoebe searching the basement.]
Monica: No, its not a sign! Its a very old key!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is lamenting to everyone about hid dad's affair.]
Monica: (to Joey) I'll pick you up at eleven. So glad you're coming.
Monica: Limited seating my ass. Lets see who made the cut. (To the couple sitting to her right.) Hi!
Monica: If Phoebe were my maid of honor
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
Monica: How did it go with Frank and Alice?
Monica: Uh, Aunt Iris? This is Phoebe, and that's Rachel...
Monica: Thank you! (He tries the door again and Monica glares at him.)
Richard: Oh, Im sorry. (Introduces them.) Lisa, (nodding at each) Monica, Chandler. We used to date.
Monica: in this day and age how dumb do you have to be to get pregnant?
Ross: Why?! Why on the lips?! (He wipes his mouth on Monicas wrap and walks off, leaving Aunt Millie stunned.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is at the sink and Chandler is looking at a ring brochure.]
[Scene: Dots Spot, Chip and Monica are on there date, eating dinner. Chip is telling a story.]
Monica: How can you not remember? You made us call you...Bea.
Monica: Honey, cover it up with the boat!
Monica: (entering) (Gasps) How did you get in there?!
Monica: Here, let me show you. Okay, the towels are hanging next to the sink, and umm, you can use the fancy soap.
Monica: Oh my God! How cute is the on-call doctor?
Rachel: Wait a minute! (To Monica) You let Ross drive the Porsche and when I ask you, you say youre the only one whos allowed to drive it.
[Scene: The Wedding Chapel, continued from last season. Chandler and Monica are about to get married.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to apply her eye drops while Monica looks on.]
Monica: (looking out of the window) Oh my God. You guys! You gotta come see this! There's some creep out there with a telescope!
Monica: Do NOT let me sit in one of those. We'll be here for days.
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Monica: See? This is exactly why Im making this candy. We can learn their names and get to know our neighbors.
Monica: Am I on fire today or what?! Those birds are browned, basted, and ready to be carved!
Rachel: (whispering) Why? (Monica gesticulates mumbling something that starts with "because") Seriously I did not understand a word that you said.
(Ross, Rachel and Joey come back from the bathroom. They discover that Monica and Ethan aren't finished talking to each other yet.)
Chandler: Because it says "Captain Ross" on the side and "I hate Monica" on the bottom.
Monica: You heard him! "No bigger!" "You're perfect!" "Just don't get any bigger!" Oh my god he sounded just like my high school wrestling coach. You know what? I'm going to have to talk to Chandler.
Monica: Wow, Monica! What an amazing opportunity to influence dozens of people.
Monica: Listen, Im sure that dad doesnt care. He probably thought this was funny; hell be telling this story for years!
Monica: Oh my God, you cant even see where the Titanic hit it.
Joey: Good luck. (to Monica) And Im still right!
Monica: Toe the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box! (Tries to leave, but is stopped by Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe enters to see Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel tearfully watching TV.]
(pause before Monica and Chandler speak, they look like they are looking for the right words)
Monica: Didn't you hear that speech? If you don't kiss him then I will!
Monica: Howd the lecture go?
Monica: Chandler, if that dog's been here that long, and you haven't had a reaction, maybe you're not allergic to this dog?
Monica: Okay. Okay, Im ready. Come on big fella!
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Ooh, Im setting the phone down. (does so) But Im still here! Just dont go anywhere Im still here. (starts to put on the sweater) Dont-dont switch or anything, cause Im, Im right here. (She has pulled the sweater over her head, but her head is stuck in a sleeve.) Just one sec. One sec! One second!! (She is now frantically trying to get the sweater on, as Monica returns from the bathroom.) Wait! One second! Just
Monica: (starting to cry) Im a good person. And Im a good chef, and I dont deserve to have marinara sauce all over me! Yknow what, if you want me to quit this bad, then all you have to do is
Monica: Okay, come on, I can't get married until I get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.
(Monica breaks the hug and starts for the bedroom.)
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)
Monica: Hey Joey, Chandler sold a story to Archie Comics!