words in movies
913 - The One Where Monica Sings
Chandler: Our balcony? Seriously? That's so funny because I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony. And she said"No, no. It's too cold, nobody will go out there." And I said "Maybe if we put some light out there they will"
Monica: No I totally disagree. No I think it's fine for a guy to do something like that. Such you an actor. Not that you need to,your eyebrows are...
Monica: Only if I don't have to get up and sing.
Monica: It's just, I'm not good at singing.
Monica: No no, it's not working on me. Wow! I must be growing up!
Monica: So I don't have to sing and I can just sit there and pass judgments on others?
Monica: I'm there!
Monica: You kissed him?
Monica: Wait wait wait. I was at home the whole time. How did I missed that?
Monica: Oh yeah...So how did you end up kissing?
Monica: I thought you hated him?
Monica: So are you thinking of starting up something with this guy?
Monica: Sounds like you need to think about what you want, talk to Gavin, and you definitely should talk to Ross
Monica: No I told you I can't.
Monica: What have you heard me sing?
Monica: What?
Monica: Yeah I do rock that one.
Monica: Just a little but...it's just so scary! I don't even know what I would sing...
Monica: "Delta Dawn"
Monica: Wait wait! I can't sing in front of all these people.
Phoebe: Just pretend they're not even here! It's OK Monica, when that spotlight hits you it so bright you won't see anyoneanyway.
Monica: Hi! I'm Monica and I'm gonna be singing "Delta Dawn""Delta Dawn, what's that flower you have on? Could it be a faded rose from days gone by? ..."
Monica: "To take you to his mansion in the sky-y?"
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's]
Monica: "Take me to the mansion in the sky-y". I am sorry, the song is over. Did you see me out there?
Monica: I can�t believe I did this. I can�t believe I'm singing for the people, and they liked me! Hey, did you hear thatone shouting �look at those tips�! I mean, did I really help you get a lot of tips?
Monica: Good? Didn�t you hear them...I was great! Thank you so much for making me do this. That�s is the best gift ever.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's]
Monica: Ok, for my next song I think I�ll sing something a little more upbeat. All right? Oh, how about the PointerSisters �I am so excited�. And make it bouncy!
Monica: Honey, you�re just in time, I�m about to sing another song!
Monica: And they love me!
Monica: All right, watch!
Monica: "Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen, tonight we'll put all other things aside. Give in thistime and show me some affection..."
Monica: Oh, who cares, they still love me! "I am so excited..."
Monica: Alright, lets say that it is him, would we not want the baby? No! Would we treat him any differently?
Rachel: Oh, Monica made me send her to my mother's. Apparently babies and weddings don't mix.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bedroom, they are relaxing in sexual bliss.]
(Nana passes for the second time and the nurse pulls the blanket over her. Ross and Monica go to tell the family)
Will: Sure! Monica, I cant get over how great you look! You look stunning!
[Scene: Las Vegas, we have the typical glamour shots of Vegas, the Strip, slot machines, a couple other gaming tables all set to the tune of you guessed it, Money. Anyhoo, we finally get through that and watch Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe enter Caesar's Palace carrying their luggage.]
Monica: Wow! Youre a lot sturdier that Chandler. He crumpled like a piece of paper. So how was youre trip?
Monica: Well, we... (makes quotation signs in the air) "bore false witness"... See I could be a reverend.
[Scene: The Bings�. Monica in bathrobe, merely covered. Someone�s knocking at the door.]
Monica: (entering with Rachel) All right boys, last chance for the tickets!
Phoebe: Oh, well, it doesnt have a nameoh, okay, Phoebeball! No, it doesnt have a name. Umm, okay, Monica, what is your favourite thing about trees?
Monica: They've only been going out for a few weeks and Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike! She'll say "No", David's heart will be broken, it will be too hard for them to recover from and then Phoebe will end up alone again.
MONICA: Rachel, it's a world where Joey is a neuro-surgeon.
Monica: I might've said that. (Chandler laughs.) Why is that funny?
Monica: I gotta make up the guest bedroom. (To Ross) Hey, Cousin Cassie is coming to stay with us a few days.
Monica: (into phone) Pants and a sweater? Why, mom? Who am I gonna meet in a blackout? Power company guys? Eligible looters? Could we talk about this later? OK. (hangs up)
Monica: Oh, when you get over this breakup we need to go shopping.
Chandler: Oh, yes. Well its very beautiful. Its cream-colored and tight [Realizes what he just said and looks worried. Monica and Ross also looked shocked. Judy and Jack give Chandler a very dirty look.] I dont mean tight, I mean its not too tight, not that I was looking at-[giving up all hope, he puts his head into his hands.]
Monica: Well, I guess we should go back in. When you gave me another chance, I guess we should do the same for Amanda.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, the next day. Phoebe is busy making a sandwich.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are sitting in their recliners watching TV. Monica, Ross, and Phoebe are there.]
Monica: Look, I'm not happy about this either, but y'know if-if Ross says he's happy then we're just gonna have to keep our feelings about Emily to ourselves. Are you cool with that?
Monica: Why? (She hops into the living room and imitates Chandler's happy dance.)
MONICA: There's no man in here.� How dare you accuse me of that.� (She slaps Chandler.)
Monica: (entering, to Joey and Rachel) Hey, did you guys know, that your oven doesn't work?
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
Monica: Hey! Umm, I think Brenda needs a raise.
Monica: It's my new perfume. Why don't you come closer where you can really appreciate it?
Monica: Honey, thanks for trying to figure out a way, but if you're going to Tulsa, I wanna go with you.
Monica: Yeah, I mean yeah, I look great. Yeah, I feel great and yeah, my heart is not in trouble anymore! Blah, blah, blah! Y'know I still don't feel like I got him back, y'know? I just want to humiliate him. I wanna, I want him to be like naked and then I'm going to point at him and laugh!
Monica: How many fingers am I holding up? (She's not holding any up.)
Chandler: Because its flattering! (Shivers harder) Come on Monica! Come on Monica! (He goes inside.)
Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. Thats what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
(She gives Monica a big binder that's perfectly in order.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Ross are both pouting and sitting on the couch.]
Monica: I got it! (She hits a forehand smash that bounces right in between Doug and Kara and scores a point.)
Chandler: Now, that's a lot harder than it sounds. You always forget at least one, or in some cases... fourteen (looks over to Monica).
Rachel: No Monica! Im serious! Oh, maybe I should just forget about it. Become a lesbian or something.
Monica: Honey, that's okay. I actually know this woman, Nancy, who's a restaurant biz head-hunter. Maybe she'll know of something.
[Scene: Another street, somewhere along the River Themes, Ross, Emily, and Monica are walking to where theyre gonna get married. Emily is relating the troubles with the caterer.]
Monica: (entering from her room, excitedly) Im getting married today!!! (She trips and falls.) (Getting up) I think I just cracked a rib. But I dont care because todays my wedding day! My day is finally here!! (Runs back into her room.)
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave good bye, and start to walk quietly out, as Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and bobbing his shoulders as he goes.]
Monica: A jazz trio for cocktails. The Bay City Rollers for dancing. Wait, that was from my sixth grade wedding.
Phoebe: Probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. (Chandler and Monica look surprised) Kind of what probably really means. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, oh, "Your mom probably won't kill herself," yknow? I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on-on "Probably!" Yknow? You gotta take care of yourselves! (She starts to walk out) In this world history teaches us nothing! (Exits)
Monica: Hey Maureen! (They hug.) Gosh! Hey uh, Chandler? This is my cousin Maureen.
[cut to later, Tim has left. Monica is still shivering. Theres a knock on the door.]
Monica: Sure. Oh, um, Chandler? Y'know, the-the old Monica would-would remind you to scrub that Teflon pan with a plastic brush...But I'm not gonna do that.
Monica: I mean, was it Gina?
Monica: So Nancy told me about this job at this great restaurant, Javo (sp?). It's just a little outside of Tulsa.
Waitress: Hey Monica, theres a customer who wants to complement the chef, should I let him in?
[Monica pushes Ben down the aisle in a stroller. Susan is escorted by both her parents. Carol is escorted by Ross.]
Monica: You dont? (Laughs) Well, thats the difference between a professional and a layman.
MONICA: Yes. I hated you. I mean I, I, loved you in a 'you're my brother so I have to' kind of way, but basically, yeah, I hated your guts.
Monica: Hey, hey, look. Look Ross, Ben drew a picture of you! (Shows him Ben's picture.) Huh? You're-you're a cowboy!
(No one can and Monica looks at Joey expectantly.)
Monica: Yeah, a-a-and clean. Not just health department clean... Monica clean.
Monica: Umm, I'd love too! (She goes over and picks up the box and decides to follow Rachel's advice and holds the box up to her cheek.) Ooh, I love macaroni and cheese. I love-I love the way this box feels against my cheek.
Monica: That is so sweet! (She kisses him and turns to add some sugar to her tea.)
Ross: That bitch! (He gets up and they go over to ambush Frannie. Monica taps on Frannies shoulder.)
Monica: Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance!
Monica: You gave her food poisoning!?
[Scene: A street, Chip is walking Monica to his motorcycle.]
Monica: (Entering from her bedroom, talking on the phone) Yeah, once again, I am sorry. Thank you. Bye. (To the gang) I just had to turn down a job catering a funeral for sixty people.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are sitting at a table. Monica is checking her makeup as Chandler suddenly has a horrifying thought and starts patting down his pockets until he finds what hes looking for and sighs in relief.]
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there with her boyfriend Roger, talking to Rachel and Monica.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is getting ready for a date with Monica as Ross enters.]
MONICA: I've been great, just great. How have you been? [tilting her head]
Monica: What happened? You still have the Monica wedding fund dont you?
Monica: Uh yeah, I-I actually I thought about you a couple months ago.
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.
Monica: All right! Okay, its just Phoebe. Wills still on a diet, Chandler doesnt eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachels having her aversion to poultry.
Phoebe: All right, prude... Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house. You are not gonna talk them into staying here.
Monica: Believe me, Chandler and I have not seen each other in over a week. We�ll probably be the first ones there.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone. Rachel walks in and overhears the conversation.]
Chandler: Maybe Monica has a bobby pin.
MONICA: [Opens the door] I need to borrow a hundred bucks.
Monica: I know...God. I haven't seen my savings take a hit like this since I was a kid and they came up with double-stuffed Oreos. What happened to all our money?
Erica: Yeah. It's a sonogram they took of the baby last week. I thought you might want to see it. (gives it to Monica, who looks at it for a long time, and then shows it to Chandler)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is pouring Mark some coffee.]
Rachel: Thats right, still no baby! (To Monica, Joey, and Chandler on the couch) Come on people! Please make some room!
Monica: You know, that guy she met at the coffeehouse.
Monica: Well, if it annoys you so much, then why do you do it?
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Monica: Huh. Whats doofus spelled backwards?
Monica: Guys, rules are good! Rules help control the fun! (They all leave and close the door on Monica.) Ohhh! (Throws her notepad down in disgust.)
Monica: Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but hes really into the game so I dont want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? (Hands her a stack of them.)
Monica: I can't believe my parents are actually pressuring me to find one of you people.
Monica: Pleased to meet you. So you're coming to Rachel's party tonight?
Monica: OK, we done with the chit-chat? Are we ready to play some serious poker?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is recovering from her false labour.]
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica and Chandler are sitting on one of the chairs doing a crossword puzzle.]
(Monica plays those words back in her mind and then smiles and runs to Chandler, who is twisting with joy. They hug.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler walks in, wearing a suit.]
(Monica gets behind him and in combination with his sliding the chair forward and her pushing with her leg manages to get up to the table.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are preparing to leave for the funeral.]
CHANDLER: I don't know, Richard's really nice and everything, uh, it's just that we don't know him really well, ya know, and plus he's, ya know, old [Monica gives him a glare] -er than some people, but, uh, younger than some buildings.