words in movies
[Scene: A kitchen somewhere. Monica is interviewing for a job]
MONICA: Great.
MONICA: Oh, that's there on the bottom, see the manager, Chandler Bing.
MONICA: A salad? Really I, I could do something a little more complicated if you like.
MONICA: You got it.
MONICA: Alright, well I'm tearing the lettuce.
MONICA: Oh-oh, no no don't worry, I'm gonna wash it.
MONICA: That's your call.
MONICA: Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatos.
MONICA: They'r alright.
MONICA: No really, they're OK.
MONICA: Actually, I was gonna do them jullienne.
MONICA: I'm outa here. [Monica leaves]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler and Phoebe are sitting at the couch. Ross is sitting at the table and answers the phone.]
[Monica enters from bathroom after taking a shower]
MONICA: Yeah, I think that fifth shower actually got the interview off me.
MONICA: Oh yeah, well there's the possibility that I won't make rent.
ROSS: Monica, if you want, I can lend you some money.
MONICA: No no no, if I couldn't pay you back right away then I'd feel guilty and tense every time I saw you.
MONICA: Man, man that is sharp. It must have cost you quite a few debloons.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica answers the door and lets her parents in. They are carrying boxes.]
MONICA: Hi.
MONICA: So, what's this.
MONICA: Wow, that is a surprise. Just one little question, uh, why not Ross's room?
MONICA: Oh, God forbid.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Mr. and Mrs. Geller are watching tennis on TV, Monica is sitting at the table]
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. [the Gellers return to watching TV and Ross goes over to Monica]
MONICA: Where have you been?
MONICA: No, but that's probably 'cause I haven't asked them yet.
ROSS: C'mon Monica, do it. Hey, you guys, um, Monica has some news.
MONICA: Um, yeah, so uh, uhh, listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before but umm, I, I'm no longer at my job, I, I had to leave it.
MONICA: Because they made me.
MONICA and ROSS: In the bank.
MONICA: Anything larger back there?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Ross are standing in the kitchen. Ross is filling out a check]
MONICA: You have dinosaur checks?
MONICA: Nothin', nothin', hey you're a cheapasaurus. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, thank you, I'm very greatful.
MONICA: Oh, um, that was my bathing suit from high school. I was uh, a little bigger then.
JOEY: [pulls out a VCR tape] Hey Monica, what's on this video tape?
MONICA: Hey, you got me, put it in.
MONICA: You know what this is, this is us getting ready for the prom.
MRS. GELLER: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
MONICA: Over here dad. [he pans over and we see a torso taking up the whole screen]
MR, GELLER: Wait, how do you zoom out? [zooms out and we see an extremely overweight Monica eating a big sandwich] There she is.
JOEY: Some girl ate Monica.
MONICA: Shut up, the camera adds ten pounds.
MONICA: Oh, you look so great.
MONICA: Oops.
MONICA: Shoot, I think I got mayonaise on you.
MONICA: Oh, dad, turn it off.
MONICA: Dad, it is not. What's with the red light?
MONICA: Ya know, Roy saw Star Wars 317 times. His name was in the paper.
ROY: He'll be here OK, take a chill pill. [Chip pins Monica's corsage on, Monica then turns and whispers to Rachel]
MONICA: I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob.
MONICA: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
RACHEL, MONICA, ROY, and CHIP: Bye.
MONICA: I can't believe you did that.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is watching the rest of the tape]
MONICA: Mom, I'm hungry.
MONICA: Alright.
[Monica is visibly upset]
Monica: You know what? This has been kind of a girlie day. Youre right, Im sorry.
Monica: Thats a good question. Look umm, last night we let the dice decide. Maybe we should leave it up to fate again. I love you!
Monica: Alright you two, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Now I don't want anything going on while I'm gone. Here's a few things you can discuss: mucus, fungus and the idea of me and Ross doing it.
Monica: Chandler, you're an only child, right? You don't have any of this.
Joey: (Grunting) Hmm. (Monica opens the front door and comes in.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler enters to find Monica waiting patiently for him. He closes the door and they start kissing.]
Monica: Well, no. But, um, I bet she probably does.
Monica: Oh! Why didn't you tell me? I made him his own individual sweet potato stuffed pumpkin.
(Monica smiles then acts shocked. Chandler cant believe she just did that.)
Rachel: What? Monica, they are cute, they are doctors, (spelling it out in the air for her slow friend) cute doctors, doctors who are cute!
Monica: Wait a minute, are you doing Joey's (sadly) "Audition didn't go so well. (Happily) Yeah it did?"
Monica: (pointing to the kitchen) Yeah you will! (Points to the bedroom) And, are you kiddin me?!
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Monica: Okay! But you cant rip it. Well, maybe a little.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Paolo are at the window. Ross and Joey are watching disgustedly.]
Rachel: (to Monica) Ok, ok, ok. How did this happen to me? How did this happen to me? A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine. Ross was just Ross, just this guy. Now he's Rrrooossss, oh, this really great guy that I can't have.
[Scene: The Moondance diner, Monica is cleaning up with one of the waiters, with her back turned to him she removes her fake breasts and hides them under her wig.]
Monica: Phoebe! Come on! Lets go! (Knocks on her door.) Come on! (Phoebe enters with guitar and not ready to go.) Why arent you dressed yet?!
Joey: Ohh, I love birds. (Monica leaves. Chandler shuts the door.)
Monica: (running from the bathroom to her room, wearing only a towel) Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! (gets to her room and closes the door, as Rachel gets up to answer the door.)
Monica: Joey, Chandler knows I borrowed the money.
Monica: It was a project for one of the Home Ec classes.
Monica: Wait, was this a-a small mediterranean guy with curiously intelligent good looks?
Monica (reads a form in her lap): "Willing to adopt triplets?" No!
Monica: No, it was Ginger. I remember, because when he told me, I said, (singing) the movie star.
Monica: No, I don't think it ever works. Why?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is complaining to Ross and Monica about the bucket.]
Monica: All right, look at my on the back page.
Rachel: Okay! Okay! Umm, Websters Dictionary defines marriage as (Ross and Joey start writing.) Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old.
Monica: Of course! Joey wouldnt let you have one?
[Cut to inside Monica and Chandlers, Monica, Chandler and Joey are eating breakfast.]
Ross: (To Monica) Look, okay-okay I had food poisoning! Its not like I choose to do it! Its not likeIts not like I said, "Umm, what would make this ride more fun?!"
Monica: Perhaps, you would like me to turn like this, (turns sideways on the couch) so that you can bunny bump against my back.
Rachel: Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- (to the waitress that brought her coffee)Sweet 'n' Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'. (to Monica) So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
Monica: I know. Lets try a look of far off wonderment. Okay, well-well gaze into our future and well think about our marriage and the days to come. (Chandler is still not getting it.) Chandler! What is the matter with your face?! I mean this picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron!" (The photographer laughs.) Hey! Dont laugh at him! Hes my drowning moron!
Monica: Oh, some idiot customer put a suggestion in the suggestion box.
(Chandler and Phoebe look bored to death. Monica scores and laughs)
Monica: Chandler, we said we would meet at the coffeehouse at six.
Ross: Dude. Well done. You know what? If I die, and Rachel dies and Monica dies then you can totally take care of Emma.
Monica: This isnt how its supposed to go, there cant be another guy.
Monica: Well, I-Ithere was this guy at the bank that I thought was cute umm, but I don't anymore.
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler enter, the others are sitting on the couch.]
Monica: What I said was, was that I understood. Joeys the one who agreed with you!
Monica: Oh, maybe he was getting him confused with his childhood therapist.
Chandler: (To Monica) Go change! (To Phoebe) She doesnt want her parents to know shes drunk.
Phoebe: Oh! It will be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, lets plan the wedding reception. (She grabs the notebook which Monica used for her ideas and starts flipping page after page after page after page after page to find a blank one.) Wow! You really wanted me to do something with this van. (pause) Yknow what, I want you to take the chef job.
Monica: Well its I mean Id justId be self-conscious. Youre my friend; Id be naked.
Monica: (chasing her) Youd better run!
Monica: (To Chandler) Excuse me, umm, can I talk to you over here for just a second?
Monica: (In a sexy voice) Come in. I've been waiting for you.
Joey: (dragged in by Monica, he has just gotten out of the shower) What's going on?
Monica: You don't tell me what to do! I tell you what to do! Just call her. She's at the Paradise Hotel in Barbados. And while I've got you, you've got curly hair. What do you do in humidity? (Mike hangs up the phone) Damnit!
Monica: C'mon guys, it'll be fun!
(..then turn back to the desk when the surprise hits them, and Ross and Chandler whip around once more. Monica and Rachel recoil slightly.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Phoebe are setting up for the party.]
Monica: I'm not crying about that! I'm crying about something that happened at work.
Monica: Well, I don't know... I-It's... just the way you say it... I mean, you're funny... You have that funny thing. You're a funny guy! (Chandler turns to Joey)
Monica: Hes with Emily at a Bed and Breakfast in Vermont!
Phoebe: (speaking louder and articulating) That's she's like the daughter she never had. (Phoebe points at her ears) Listen! (Monica looks at Phoebe in a duh! way)
Monica: Awww, just like you always wanted. Congratulations
Joey: Hey Monica its Joey. Listen uh, Phoebe and I smell gas comin from your apartment.
Monica: Oh! It was our pleasure. We are so much enjoying getting to know you.
Joey: Ahhoy! That was the underwear I was wearing that night in London. Right Monica?
[cut to later, Monicas team has the ball.]
Monica: (smiling) It's so sweet. It really is. It has this big yard that leads down to this stream and then there's these old maple trees... (gets cut off)
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (Stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Chandler: No, but Horny for Monica Minister called, wanting to know if we were still together.
Monica: Mine? (points to her lower lip) Right here?
Chandler: Six-hour trip to London. Thats a lot of Monica.
Monica: Why? Because everything is my responsibility? Isn't it enough that I'm making Thanksgiving dinner for everyone? You know, everyone wants a different kind of potatoes, so I'm making different kinds of potatoes. Does anybody care what kind of potatoes I want? Nooooo, no, no! (starting to cry) Just as long as Phoebe gets her peas and onions, and Mario gets his tots, and it's my first Thanksgiving, and it's all burned, and, and I... I...
Monica: Well umm, Chandler and I are moving in together.
Monica: Oh, honey, I forgot. I promised Treeger that we'd leave our keys.
Monica: Come on! Come on! Hurry! Were running out of time! Huddle up!
Monica: Man, this sucks! Yknow if Mom and Dad dont see us on TV after we made them so jealous, I mean, whos gonna be the losers then?
Front Desk Clerk: (To Monica) Heres a copy of your bill.
Monica: Making holiday candy for the neighbors.
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.)
Monica: You got a callback too didn't you?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, (although its really just Monicas now with Matthew Perry in rehab) Monica is folding her laundry with Ross reading the paper and Phoebe standing in the kitchen.]
Monica, Chandler, Ross: Congratulations!/Good for you!/Great!
Monica: Well, instead of being sad that tonight is my last night together with Rachel we thought wed go out to dinner and celebrate the fact that Rachel is moving in with Phoebe.
Monica: We have a ladle. (Gives him one.)
Monica: Maybe Joey doesnt have to give you the money, TV stars have assistants right?
Monica: Whats the big deal?
Monica: The guy who made these hates feet and wants to see them die!
Monica: Wait a minute. That wasnt a hard eight! Last night I rolled a hard eight.
[Flashback to 209 - TOW Phoebe's Dad] [Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey and Chandler are giving out their Christmas presents out of a cardboard box from a case of motor oil.]
MONICA: You wanna be in charge of the food committee?
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Phoebe are on their dates with Sergei and Mischa.]
Monica: All right then, go fight for her! Go to London! I mean, that could be you and Emily! (Points to the TV.) That, but-but nicer. Just, go to London!
Monica: Phoebe, yknow why dont we just go upstairs and have some birthday cake?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Monica about his new baby sitting job.]
Monica: You and Mona are doing a holiday card together?
Monica: All right! Let's go! (Runs to the door.) Let's go Team Monica! (The guys all stop and stare at her) All right, we can work out the name later.
Monica: Bet I know how that discussions going to go.
Monica: Ok, then, why are you... (she opens her robe revealing a nice black dress) all dressed up??
Monica: We didnt get anything for anyone.
Monica: Oh, um, I dont know if thats a good idea.
(Monica puts the groceries down and goes to check the answering machine and hears.)
Monica: (to Ben) Whos so brave, youre so brave, yes you are, youre so brave.