words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Phoebe and Ross are sitting in the living room talking.]
Monica: (entering with something behind her back) Phoebe, cmere. I want to show you something in the bathroom.
Phoebe: Oh, Monica, grow up!
Monica: Nothing. Just something I want to get Phoebes opinion on for Valentines Day.
Monica: Not really.
Monica: All right, big brother. (holds up two erm revealing articles of clothing) Which of these do you think would make your little sister look hotter, so your best friend would want to do her?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler enters with a bouquet of roses.]
Monica: (from her bedroom) Okay! Ill be right out. Im slipping into something a little less comfortable, and a little more slutty.
Chandler: (picking up a video from the table) Candy and Cookie. Candy and Cookie? Monica got me porn?! Girl-on-girl porn?! She really must love me!! (Chandler runs over to the TV, puts the tape in, and sits down to enjoy some "porn")
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler is sitting on the couch staring at the tape on the coffee table with his eyes huge and his mouth wide open.]
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) So what do you think? (referring to her outfit)
(Chandler glances up at Monica with his mouth still wide open and his eyes still huge)
Monica: (to herself) Ive still got it!
Monica: What is it?
Monica: Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebes. Why were you even watching it?
Monica: Chandler, if you thought I was going to get you porn for Valentines Day (pulls a video out of a basket) you were right! Apparently, its about a young girl who moves to the big city, you know, in search of stardom, but ends up having sex with a lot of guys! Yeah, it got four starts! (looks closer) Oh, wait a minute. Those arent stars. Anyway, you want to take a look?
Monica: Honey, whats going on?
Monica: Mm-hmm.
Monica: Chandler, we cant let this tape wreck Valentines Day!
Monica: Child-birth, its a natural thing! Its beautiful.
Monica: Oh! Oh, my God! No wonder my mother hates me!
Monica: Dont touch me!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch still staring at the screen.]
Monica: How long has it been this time?
Monica: Thats better. 90 seconds is a long time not to think about it except all I did was think about it.
Monica: Okay, well, we have to get past this! Why dont we get rid of the tape and pretend it never existed?
Monica: Okay.
(Chandler crawls over to Monica and they move in to kiss, but they cant do it and back up. They move in to kiss again, and kiss very awkwardly for a second, until someone knocks on the door.)
Monica: Oh, thank God!
Monica: Come in!
Monica: Oh, my God.
(Monica and Chandler both look at each other and run over to the window to watch the action in Ross apartment)
Monica: Rach, you know that birthing tape you wanted to see? Its here.
Monica: No, but I will leave a sweater that smells like me right next to you!
Monica: Shes right of course not. Honey, get the tape.
Monica: Its still beautiful.
Monica: I know! I know, Im so sorry for you!
(Monica and Rachel both cover their eyes)
Monica: Oh, look at those little fingers and toes!
Monica: Oh Rach!
Ross: (catching the ball) Monica! Stop throwing it so hard! We're on the same team!
Phoebe: (to Monica) Yknow, suddenly I find you very attractive.
[Cut back to Monica and Chandlers room, they are making out again as theres another knock on the door.]
Monica: All right, biggest suite in the place. Come on! (Rolls the dice.)
Monica: Well, that's different. My lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states. What were you thinking?
Monica: I pick you, Phoebe.
Monica: Why else would we be here?
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Rachel: And you know Monica and Ross!
Monica: You bought a boat?
Monica: Youre-youre-youre gonna bring the Barca Lounger over here?
(Monica goes back underwater as Joey re-enters.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are there as Rachel enters.]
Monica: Oh, Phoebe, she couldn't stop crying! With those thick glasses, her tears looked giant.
Chandler: Oh yes! Monica, get in here! There's a high-speed car chase on!
Monica: Okay, so what do you, what do you want to do? Lets do something crazy!
Monica: Ross married Rachel in Vegas! And got divorced! Again!!!!
Monica: He just told me at the counter. He made me promise not to tell, but I couldn't hold it in any longer!
[They run out and knock on Monica and Rachel's door]
MONICA: It's for their own good.
Monica: (still sick) Chandler!
Monica: (entering) Chandler, I think Im sick.
Monica: Come on! I really need your help!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Ross are doing a crossword, Monica is cooking, and Chandler is still staring at his phone.]
Monica: Yeah?
Monica: Okay, if you really wanna have sex
Monica: God, I'm sorry! I'll go back and get it!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel enters and walks quickly over to the window to watch Rosss apartment. We see that Rosss apartment is empty.]
Monica: Is he crazy?! You just had Rosss baby!
Ross: I have to say you are a much bigger person than I am. I mean after all weve been through, I justyknow I wish I had a brother to reciprocate. Hey, if you ever want to go out with Monica, you have my blessing.
MONICA: Look. [they look at Joey in the kitchen with a cigar in his mouth, looking at his reflection in a spatula] Joey, do you know we can see you from here?
Monica: Joey we know you steal our food.
MONICA: You know, the guys are probably having a great time.
Monica: Are you kidding me?! Is this; is this turning you on?
Monica: What do you want me to do? Just sit here silently while you three have a conversation?
Monica: And everybody has to wear costumes. (And theres general disconcertment.) Come on! Itll be fun!
Monica: What? We took a walk, nothing happened. I can back with nothing all over me.
Monica: Well, she corned me! She asked if the wedding was in town! I mean, what was I supposed to do?!
Monica: (crying) This is my favorite part.
Monica: Yeah youre right. I dont know what I was thinking.
Monica: Oh, that's Nana, right there in the middle. (Reads the back) 'Me and the gang at Java Joe's'.
Monica: Poor thing!
Monica: Where were your parents?
[Scene: at Barry and Mindy's reception, Monica and Richard are sitting at a table, and Monica is trying to throw a piece of candy into his mouth.]
Monica: Okay. Lets bring it in.
Richard: (approaching them with a woman in tow) Monica! Chandler!
Monica: Youre jealous of Princess Caroline?
Monica: Guys, whats going on?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, its 0-Dark:30, in other words its really, really early. Everyones asleep, and all through the apartments not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. That is except for the chick, who turns out to be a rooster and is crowing in the sun. Needless to say, this awakens Monica and Rachel who rush into their living room, searching for the cause of the sound.]
Monica: Okay, you stay here, and just wait by the phone. Spray Lysol in my shoe, and wait for Ross to kill you.
Monica: Thats Phoebe! Where did you get that?
(They walk into a completely redecorated and repainted room. And of course, the room is immaculate. Only an obsessive-compulsive like Monica could find fault with the room.)
Monica: Wh-what, why?
Monica: Yeah youre right, we cantwe shouldnt watch this.
Monica: Hold on a second! What is that on her ankle?
Monica: Well, shes not going to find them lying in the grass like that.
[Ross glares at Monica.]
Monica: Hey sweetie!
Monica: Well what are you gonna do when he finds out he wasnt even asked?!
Monica: Stop it!
RICHARD: Monica... [He re-enters the bedroom and Monica jumps on the bed, trying to cover it.] Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?
Monica: All right, Im gonna go steam my wedding dress okay? Who wants the responsibility of making sure nothing happens to it?
Monica: What is wrong with you?!!!
Monica: Cause if you do that means youd be cancelling it for me, and were just friends.
Monica: No you robot!!
Monica: Oh hi! Hi! Yknow, we were just talking about bacon.
Monica: I am good. I finished my book.
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: (hits him lightly) Oh!
Monica: Thats also like the tenth time you told us.
Ross: No, I just think Monica was that fat.
Monica: I dont remember. Do you wanna take a walk?
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Rachel are there. Phoebe enters carrying video tapes.]
Rachel: Ohh, of course Monicas brother!
Monica: Thanks.
Monica: Yes, but you are dead inside.
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, she is frantically working and is handing two finished dishes to a waitress.]
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Bye.
Monica: Oh no! Whats the matter?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are entering carrying groceries and find Phoebe already there standing in front of a huge object that has been gift wrapped.]
Monica: Joey just hired Chandler to be his assistant!
Monica: Hey Phoebe! Guess what?
Monica: Hey!
[Time lapse. Monica is wearing the dress and starring at herself in the mirror.]
[Scene: later, Richard and Monica are dancing]
Monica: (getting up) Joey!
Chandler: No not okay, you cant look for Monicas presents!
Monica: Rach, hes a friend of ours.
Monica: No.
Monica: And I assume, Chandler, you are still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays.
Joey: (turning and whispering to Monica) Shes not crazy is she?
Monica: Ohhh! (Takes the plate.) No! This is my friend Rachel, we went to High School together.
Monica: (panicked) Oh wait! You didnt just sit on my Kit-Kats did you?!!
Phoebe: (yelling from Monicas room) No-no!! No!!
Monica: What?!
Monica: (laughs) You realize what you are dont you?
Monica: Youre his bitch.
Monica: Yes!!
Monica: Oh my God!