words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Phoebe and Ross are sitting in the living room talking.]
Monica: (entering with something behind her back) Phoebe, cmere. I want to show you something in the bathroom.
Phoebe: Oh, Monica, grow up!
Monica: Nothing. Just something I want to get Phoebes opinion on for Valentines Day.
Monica: Not really.
Monica: All right, big brother. (holds up two erm revealing articles of clothing) Which of these do you think would make your little sister look hotter, so your best friend would want to do her?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler enters with a bouquet of roses.]
Monica: (from her bedroom) Okay! Ill be right out. Im slipping into something a little less comfortable, and a little more slutty.
Chandler: (picking up a video from the table) Candy and Cookie. Candy and Cookie? Monica got me porn?! Girl-on-girl porn?! She really must love me!! (Chandler runs over to the TV, puts the tape in, and sits down to enjoy some "porn")
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Chandler is sitting on the couch staring at the tape on the coffee table with his eyes huge and his mouth wide open.]
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) So what do you think? (referring to her outfit)
(Chandler glances up at Monica with his mouth still wide open and his eyes still huge)
Monica: (to herself) Ive still got it!
Monica: What is it?
Monica: Is this the video of the baby being born? Sweetie, this is Phoebes. Why were you even watching it?
Monica: Chandler, if you thought I was going to get you porn for Valentines Day (pulls a video out of a basket) you were right! Apparently, its about a young girl who moves to the big city, you know, in search of stardom, but ends up having sex with a lot of guys! Yeah, it got four starts! (looks closer) Oh, wait a minute. Those arent stars. Anyway, you want to take a look?
Monica: Honey, whats going on?
Monica: Mm-hmm.
Monica: Chandler, we cant let this tape wreck Valentines Day!
Monica: Child-birth, its a natural thing! Its beautiful.
Monica: Oh! Oh, my God! No wonder my mother hates me!
Monica: Dont touch me!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the couch still staring at the screen.]
Monica: How long has it been this time?
Monica: Thats better. 90 seconds is a long time not to think about it except all I did was think about it.
Monica: Okay, well, we have to get past this! Why dont we get rid of the tape and pretend it never existed?
Monica: Okay.
(Chandler crawls over to Monica and they move in to kiss, but they cant do it and back up. They move in to kiss again, and kiss very awkwardly for a second, until someone knocks on the door.)
Monica: Oh, thank God!
Monica: Come in!
Monica: Oh, my God.
(Monica and Chandler both look at each other and run over to the window to watch the action in Ross apartment)
Monica: Rach, you know that birthing tape you wanted to see? Its here.
Monica: No, but I will leave a sweater that smells like me right next to you!
Monica: Shes right of course not. Honey, get the tape.
Monica: Its still beautiful.
Monica: I know! I know, Im so sorry for you!
(Monica and Rachel both cover their eyes)
Monica: Oh, look at those little fingers and toes!
Monica: Oh Rach!
Monica: Yeah, because I hear the king is looking to adopt.
Chandler: (To Monica) Well, now we have one of each! (To the doctor) And that's enough!
Monica: There's something that we wanna tell you. We decided to name the girl-baby Erica.
(Monica seems to take it amiss)
Monica: We'll call you!
Monica: Oh, look at these little bunnies!
Monica: Do you think they recognize each other from in there?
Monica: Okay, well, bye!
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Yeah, I'm good.
Monica: Alright, let's see..
Monica: Okay, I umm, I ran into Richard yesterday and he asked me if I wanted to go for a bite and I did. The only reason I didn't tell you is because I knew you'd get mad and I didn't want to spoil our anniversary.
Monica: Alright, let me ask you this question: How many of you thought the music was fine, but not in keeping with the tone of the restaurant? (a few raise their hands again).
Monica: You are so handsome! I wanna make love to you right here, right now! (Growls and pulls him into a kiss.)
Monica: Oh my God Rach. Bean bag chairs.
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
Monica: Yes, it's twins!
(Monica enters carrying her son.)
Joey: (To Monica) Hey, so what is the big surprise?
(Joey stares at Chandler and Monica and finally puts two and two together. He gasps.)
Monica: Yeah, we named the boy Jack after dad.
[cut to Monica and Phoebe in the kitchen]
Monica: I love you.
Monica: Call us when you get there.
Monica: What about all the guys that you've got the phone numbers from? Why don't you just kiss one of them?
Monica: I'm just so glad you got to see the babies.
Monica: Alright, well, maybe I should let you and the second prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work.
Monica: Now, that you can do.
Joey: Because she uh, she-she thinks that you are blah and that you, Monica, are too loud.
Monica: Or if you want to kiss him, umm, you could use mistletoe.
(Monica and Chandler enter.)
Monica: I'm sorry, I didn't know to look for Chinese food on the floor.
Monica: Oh..
Chandler: Yeah, I think I do! Y'know what? You move in with her! You move in with her right now! Maybe I should in with Monica!
Monica: Oh God! What did I just step on?
Monica: Why not! This is her wedding day, this is way more important than some stupid kids!
(Monica turns around and is about to leave when she steps on something.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is inside, Chandler and Monica walk in.]
Monica: With good news? (very quickly and wringing hands) Of course it is not good news, you just said (deadpan) "Doctor Connelly just called". If it was good news you would have said (excitedly) "Doctor Connelly just called! " But so what is it? Is there a problem, uh? Is there a problem with me or with you?
Monica: Hon, you gotta talk to Joey.
Monica: Hello.
Ross: Monica? Monica, Monica, Monica, Monica..?
Ross: Monica? Monica, Monica, Monica, Monica..?
Monica: Oh, okay. Alright, it's flight 421. Leaves at 8:40.
Monica: Isn't that cute?
Monica: Oh, wait, wait, wait! Here they go again.
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry. Shoot, they were doing it before.
(Monica enters.)
Monica: Hey! Did you find them?
Monica: He used to lock himself in the basement for hours. No one was every allowed to hear, "The Sound."
(Monica and Chandler are looking curiously at Joey.)
Phoebe: Okay, here I wish you health and happiness. (She hands Monica a cookie in a plastic baggie.)
(Monica leaves.)
Monica: Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!
Monica: Alright. My job here is done.
Monica: Really! That long?! (Chandler slowly turns and looks at her.) (To Chandler) Look all you want, its happening!
Monica: I know.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Monica: Oh, yeah, that's true.
Monica: If that falls off the truck, it wouldn't be the worst thing.
Monica: Okay, please be careful with that. It was my grandmother's. Be careful.
(Monica and Chandler put Jack and Erica in their stroller.)
Monica: We got some time.
(Chandler hugs her. Monica hugs Ross and Rachel as Chandler gets the stroller with the twins.)
Monica: Oh-ho, look what I got Julio.
MONICA: Ok, the first person's most embarassing memory is, 'Monica, your party sucks.' Very funny.
Monica: And when he's naked I can throw him out in the front yard and lock the door and all the neighbors will just humiliate him!
(Monica and Chandler run back to Erica's bed.)
Monica: (laughs) I dont have anything like that, but let me go see if Rachel does.
[Cut to a hallway in the building, Monica and Phoebe are knocking on a door. Mr. Heckles emerges.]
Monica: Oh yeah, I remember mine! Ohh, it was my sixth birthday, my dad took me to the park, I got it, and it bent.
Monica: (getting up) All right, Ill go down there. But, Im not gonna serve the lasagna. Im gonna serve something I make.
(Rachel glares at the nurse, who gives Monica a form attached to a clipboard.)
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
(Monica talks loudly in the baby's room)
Monica: I couldnt eat it! I had five friends who couldnt eat it, and one of them eats books.
Monica: Really! (They hug and kiss) All right? Let's forget about this going home stuff and celebrate our anniversary. (She picks up his suitcase.) Okay, this is empty.
Monica: That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong. Y'see, he's the Prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born.
Monica: Cause I just keeping thinking about all these things that Im not gonna have and its freaking me out. I dont know what to do about it.
Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's Bathroom, Chandler and Monica are sharing a candlelight bubble bath while drinking champagne and they clink their glasses.]
Monica: Okay. (They kiss.) Okay, I cant wait! This is going to be the best Valentines Day ever! (Chandler giggles and exits.) I cant believe it! Make the presents! Make the presents!
Monica: Oh, we weren't talking about you. No, no way to recover.
Monica: Oh yeah that's what you want - my inhibitions lowered.
Joey: You don't wanna see what I just saw! (at this moment Monica comes home, and sees Chandler flat on his back on the floor and Joey pinning him down)
Monica: Yeah. But a part of me also cant wait til its over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.
Monica: About nineteen pounds.
Jeannine: (to Monica) All right, I just got changed in thirty seconds so you can be alone with him. You'd better go for it.
Monica: Maybe because you used to be aloof, or that youre really sarcastic, or that, yknow, you joke around all the time. Or that you take off your clothes and throw them on the couch.
Monica: She doesn't have a stomach-ache. She's in labor!
Monica: Honey, you can relax. Last night at work, Geoffrey told this really sexist joke. After that, not so funny anymore.
Rachel: Monica! Im not gonna screw it up!
MONICA: Tell him that you haven't seen your wife in a long time.� Tell him that having a long-distance relationship is really difficult.� Tell him that what little time we have is precious.
Phoebe: Yeah, last Saturday. Wow! She was the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic. (Chandler and Monica look puzzled) Oh, wait a minute, I read the wrong one.
Chandler: Yeah, not bad right? You know what, Monicas gonna be working late, so I'm gonna make this place spotless. You know what else I'm gonna do, know what else I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go downstairs, I'm gonna get her some flowers. Now who wouldn't wanna live with me?
Chandler: Oh right, your allergies. (Monica leaves and to the chick and duck) All her, she hates you. (Chandler leaves without finishing the message for Joey.)
[Cut to the city street. Monica and Chandler are jogging. Chandler is lagging behind so he hops in a cab and takes off, leaving Monica behind]
Monica: (to the nurse) Hi, (tiny laugh) um, I'm gonna need a new set of (tiny laugh) these forms (tiny laugh).
[Scene: Cousin Frannies Wedding Reception, Monica and Ross are entering and finding their table.]
[Scene: At the Beach, its raining cats and dogs as the gang arrives. Chandler and Monica are taking shelter under Rachels hat.]