words in movies
(Chandler and Monica enter the room)
Monica: Hey, Rach, you're leaving tomorrow, shouldn't you be packing?
Monica: Oh, yeah, right! And after I took a shower this morning I just threw my towel on the floor! Oh God, it hurts to even joke about it.
Monica: Ok, so you've done some good work! (pause) What about your carry-ons?
Monica: Oh my God! I have nothing left to teach you! (they hug)
Monica: Here, let me help you. (they both start opening boxes)
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Monica and Erica are talking about the baby, and Monica is rubbing Erica's tummy.]
Monica: Oh, wow, can you believe you're like three weeks away?
Monica: You don't mind me touching your belly, do you?
Monica (to Ross): Okay, well, stop staring at them.
Monica: Yeah, and I wanted her to get to know the doctors and get settled into the hotel.
Monica: Because we're moving in a couple of days and it just didn't make sense.
Monica: Ross! She's giving us her baby. She can eat you if she wants.
Monica: Oh, I know. I know. Hey, you know, you can take it if you want! The lease is still in Nana's name.
Monica: Yeah, it takes two incomes.
Monica: Oh, no. He doesn't have time for that. But if you want, you can go help him and Joey pack up the guest room.
Monica: Mhm, helpful brother - creepy loner at teen movie.
Monica (enters the room): Are, are you kidding? This is packing?
Monica: From?
Monica: All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours and there's a lot to do. Now, Ross, you got Geller blood, you're in charge of these yahoos!
Ross: You got it! (Monica leaves, Ross closes the door). All right, she's right, we gotta get serious. (He grabs a bag of styrofoam peanuts) Let's put styrofoam peanuts down his pants and kick him!
Chandler: I didn't know Monica had these!
Monica: Hey! Where's Mike?
Monica: Well, I thought this would be a great opportunity to use up all the food that I don't want to move to the new house with me! So, enjoy: smoke oyster casserole with a breakfast cereal crust, kidney beans in their own juices, and for dessert, a questionable orange.
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: Come here, I'll make you a drink.
Monica: Chandler? I was just in our bedroom and I found these (she holds the furry handcuffs) on my pillow.
Monica: What are you talking about? These aren't mine.
Monica: That would be a terrible punishment. But, I'm serious, I've never seen these before.
Monica: Rachel used to live in that room.
Monica: Joey's bare ass!
Rachel: Ok. Monica?
Monica: Yeah?
Monica: Sure.
Phoebe: (to Monica) Are you wearing waterproof mascara?
Monica: No.
Phoebe: Oh, you're so screwed. (Monica goes into the guest room)
[Scene: The guest bedroom. Rachel and Monica are talking to each other.]
Monica: I know what you mean. You're like a sister to me too.
Monica: (having the same problem) You're the best friend I ever had.
Monica: What?
Monica: That is so sweet. (they hug)
[Scene: Back to the living room. Monica and Rachel enter and hug each other. The guys see this.]
Ross: (to Joey) Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing.
Rachel: Well, these aren't mine. Maybe Monica used to use them with...
Monica: (to Ross) So, I guess you're next. You're ready?
Monica: You cried yesterday at the six o'clock news.
[Scene: Monica's apartment continued... Phoebe, Chandler, Monica and Joey are sitting down and Ross is pacing up and down.]
Monica: Well, maybe she thought that with all of your history it could be, you know, implicit.
Monica: Yeah. Mine too.
Monica: And say what? "You owe me a goodbye", I mean, he's got more pride than that.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. The others are still there.]
Monica: I hope Ross isn't too upset.
Monica: Uh, where do you think you're going?
Monica: We're moving in a couple of days and we've got a lot of packing to do. It would be great if you guys could pitch in.
Monica: Oh no! You and Phoebe are gonna help me in here.
Monica: Okay, we're gonna start in the kitchen. Plates get put into plate protectors and stacked ten to a box. The silverware gets bundled in rubber bands and then bubble wrapped. Got it?
Monica: Good! Now I need you to be careful and efficient. And remember, if I am harsh with you, it is only because you are doing it wrong.
Monica: You did? How?
Monica: Oh my God! Let me see. (they all look at the pictures)
Monica: Nana liked it rough!
Monica: Erica, are you okay?
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: She doesn't have a stomach ache, she's in labor.
Monica: All right, Chandler get the coats. Erica let's go. Phoebe and Joey, keep packing! Oh my God we're gonna have a baby. All right. We're gonna have a baby! OH MY GOD, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY! Oh God, oh God, I got to sit down, I got to sit down. Ooh! (she's hyperventilating)
Monica: Okay, okay... Okay, I feel a little better.
Monica: Oh... Yes, I'm sure. Oh honey, let's go. Okay bye everyone.
(there's a lot of supportive cheers from all. Erica, Monica and Chandler leave.)
Monica: There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]
Monica: Okay, just stay there a couple more hours and if she doesnt show up by then, then just come on home.
Monica: Are you okay, sweetie?
Monica: No you don't.
Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today.
Monica: (holding up a small cowboy hat) This isnt mine. (Sets it down and looks at the rest of the boxes.) Hey, this isnt, this isnt my stuff! Ugh, Ross! (Grabs and holds up a doll.) These are your boxes! Where are my boxes?
Monica: Rachel?!
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex.
Ross: 'Pwease, Aunt Monica, pwease?' Oh, unclench. You're not even gonna be there.
Monica: No I dont know Chandler! Not anymore! Its like its like somethings changed.
Monica: Who wasn't invited to the wedding.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there eating breakfast. Chandler is cleaning out his wallet.]
(Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel enters.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, with a blanket draped over her shoulders, opens the door to a similarly clad Chandler.]
Monica: What are you doing here so early?
Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there!
Monica: Just breathe, breathe.. that's it. Just try to think of nice calm things...
Monica: Yes!
Monica: (horrified) Really?
Monica: Oh well, maybe we can put it in the guest bedroom.
(Monica goes to change.)
Monica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds.
Monica: No it's not. We had an inspection and they didn't find anything.
Monica: (entering) Oh good youre all here. Thanksgiving tomorrow, four oclock. (To Rachel) Oh, guess who I invited. Remember that guy Will Colbert from high school?
Monica: All right, Ive got a whole bunch of uh-uh, stuff in this area, but umm, Im getting the feeling that you dont want to deliver.
Monica: Oh my God!
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
Chandler: I am only one man! (Monica heads out) Okay Ross, time is up!
Monica: Ok...ay.
Monica: It's no big deal, I do it all the time.
MONICA: No, a doctor of meat. Of course he's a real doctor. And he's handsome, and he's sweet, and know you'd like him. [she puts her arm around Richard]
Phoebe: Ohh! All right! All right. Heres what well do, Ill get twice as drunk as Monica and then no ones will even notice her.
Monica: Wow! Thats great! Dad must really like you, he doesnt ask just anyone to play.
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Monica: (pause)...Yeah. Yeah, I do.
Monica: What?..... What, you wanna spell it out with noodles?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is telling Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler about Emily's ultimatum.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has opened another wedding present as Chandler enters.]
(Monica and Paul walk to the door and talk in a low voice so the others can't hear. The others move Monica's table closer to the door so that they can.)
Monica: Stop!
Monica: We'll talk later.
Monica: Hey sweetie. Oh good. (Takes the baking dish from her.)
Monica: Shut up, and put my table back.
MONICA: Joey they're not real. I start miles beneath the surface of these things, ok, they're fake. See [squeezes her breast] honk honk.
Monica: Yeah, we all have jobs. See, that's how we buy stuff.
Monica: What for?
(Monica is standing by the crib, and she's looking at her babies.)
Monica: Do you realize that four weeks from today were getting married? Four weeks baby!! Four weeks!!!
(Monica exits.)
Monica: Big time!
Monica: So how you doing today? Did you sleep okay? Talk to Barry? I can't stop smiling.
MONICA: Oh I was just doing Chandler's side of the conversation.� You know, like, "Hi, How do I look?"� (As Chandler) "Really sexy.� Could I BE any more turned on?"
Monica: No! No its not! Its not gonna be okay! It sucks! No swing band! No lilies!
Monica: How do you do that?
Monica: You know Paul?
Frannie: Hey, Monica!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are sitting at the kitchen table.]
Monica: We are going to Dick Clarks New Years Rocking Eve!
Monica: I know, he's just so, so... Do you remember you and Tony DeMarco?
Monica: How'd you pay for them?
Monica: And who pays for that?
Monica: All right, you ready?
Monica: You can, I know you can!
Monica: Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You're gonna love it!
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Monica: You be okay?
Monica: Oh my God, that place has the creamiest frosting! I use to hitchhike there when I was a kid.
Fake Monica: So once they caught on to the fact that we're, y'know, short and have breasts...
Monica: See ya.... Waitwait, what's with you?
Monica: (to Phoebe) Would you stop?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is there as Rachel enters.]
Monica: Absolutely.
Monica: No, Chandlers still in Phase One, and Joeys that thing you smell.
Monica: ...They threw us out! I was thrown out of a hotel! Me!
Monica: Groomsman, groomsman, why are you just standing there, where is your bridesmaid? (into microphone) We've got a broken arrow. Bridesmaid down! (realizes) Oh, that's me.
Monica: It's "Bolero" from "10".
Monica: What?
Monica: Okay, just so you know, I'm gonna be ovulating from tomorrow until the sixth, so don't touch yourself in the next 48 hours.
Monica: You didn't.
Monica: Hey. Oh good-good youre here! All right, I figured it out. Im gonna take two tables of eight, Im gonna add your parents, and Im gonna turn them into three tables of six. Okay? And I called the caterer; I added two extra meals, we are good to go!
Monica: Easy Rach, we'll find it. (To all) Won't we!
Monica: How bout one last game of racquetball?
Monica: What happened to your rule about never sleeping with sick people?
Monica: (yelling from the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!
(There's a knock on the door and Chandler gets up to answer it. He opens the door to reveal Monica with a turkey over her head.)
Monica: Phoebe, its okay. You dont have to tip toe around me. I-Ive been thinking about it and umm, yknow what? Im okay about not having that new relationship feeling
[Scene, Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are pouring wine for their parents.]
Monica: Come on, that was back in high school! How could that still bother you?
Fake Monica: Oh, by the way, tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show.
Monica: No it's not.
Monica: What's that supposed to mean?
Monica: (to Ross) Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?
Monica: 'Scuse me?
Mrs. Geller: (To Monica) And you knew about this?!
Monica: W-w-wh-... wha-... w-w-w-...
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
Monica: (slapping his hand) Hey!
(Monica starts to fluff a pillow.)