words in movies
Monica: Hey Phoebe... how you doin'? You feelin' better?
Phoebe: Oh God, I tried everything to make myself feel better. I even tried writing a song about it... but... I can't think of anything that rhymes with AARRGGHH!! (pause) Hey Monica, I really need your help getting through this...
Monica: Ok, you got it!
Monica: Really? If that's what you want...
Monica: Damn it! Rookie mistake!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is looking at the screen of his laptop, shaking his head.]
Monica: Alright, wait a second, why would Ross tell everyone in your class that you are as... (reads from the screen) "gay as the day is long"?
Monica: But that's clearly a joke. This could easily be true. (Phone rings)
Monica: (On the phone) Hello? No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife. Yeah, well, it came as quite a shock to me too. I guess I should have known. Yeah, I mean, he just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge.
Chandler: Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! (Monica hangs up) I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go (starts typing something).
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: Okay if Mike were here what would the two of you be doing?
Monica: What are you, animals? It's 4 o'clock in the afternoon!
Monica: Phoebe, that's how it starts. I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing... why don't I just eat a little sliver, or, okay, just a slice or two. And next thing you know, you're 210 pounds and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide. Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard. Look, if you talk to him, you're going to wanna see him. And if you see him, you're going to want to get back together with him. I know that's not what you want. (pause) Give me your phone.
Monica: And now your cell.
Phoebe: Okay (she takes a huge, clearly obsolete cellphone she keeps in a closet and gives it to Monica)
Monica: This is your cellphone?
Monica: This is your current cellphone?
Monica: Phoebe, where's your purse?
(They run for Phoebe's purse, Phoebe gets there first and takes the cell. Monica tries to take it away from her)
Monica: No, no! Give it to me!
Monica: Give it to me!
Monica: I'll go in there.
Monica: Phoebe come here
(they fight a little, the phone falls and Monica picks it up)
Monica: Haha!
Phoebe: Damn you Monica Geller hyphen Bing!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Enter Monica]
Monica: Haha!
Monica: So Phoebe, why are there men's shoes by the door.
Monica: Oh, when you get over this breakup we need to go shopping.
Phoebe: Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better. Yeah, I just kinda want to be alone right now.
Monica: Who's that? (goes to open door)
(Monica opens the door and Mike is standing at the doorway)
Monica: (To Mike) What are you doing here?
Monica: Phoebe!
Monica: Damnit Phoebe! How did you even call him?
Monica: Base Unit! Think Monica! Think!
Monica: (to Mike) This doesn't concern you!!
Monica: Look, guys, you can't do this, it's just going to make getting over each other, that much harder.
Monica: Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join ya. You know, I'm your friend (to Phoebe) and Mike's friend (Mike is sceptical).
Monica: Oh wow wow wow!! Make room for your friend! (sits herself down between them)
Monica: I've been pretty good!
Monica: Oh no no no no... this is dangerous territory. Keep it clean!
Monica: You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it!
Joey: It's Monica, ok?
Rachel: That's not Monica!
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment: Phoebe, Monica and Mike sitting on the couch]
(Monica is getting up from the couch)
Monica: Alright you two, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Now I don't want anything going on while I'm gone. Here's a few things you can discuss: mucus, fungus and the idea of me and Ross doing it.
Monica: (running back into the room) Kiss him, you fool!!
Monica: Didn't you hear that speech? If you don't kiss him then I will!
Monica: Hi, that's what I'm doing for Phoebe!
Monica: Excuse me?
Monica: Hey, at least I knew where my guy was.
Monica: You didn't hear the speech!
Monica: Hey, it was very moving! You're just heartless!
Monica: You're... weird!
Monica: Oh (realizes her pants are undone and zips them up)!
Monica: Damn it!
Monica: And I blame you too.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment]
(Chandler and Monica go open the door)
Monica: Hi, glad you could come.
Monica: So, did you know Ross well?
Monica: (a bit surprised) Yes, he is. Me.
Monica: I look like a man??
Chandler: You gave them one day's notice, not everyone in our class checks the web site everyday and Monica... it's probably the way you stand!
Monica: You are married though.
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
Monica: You go back out there and you seduce her till she cracks!
Monica: Fair enough, now go get ready!
Monica: I hope you're not full, 'cause dinner's almost ready.
Monica: Theyre all Chandler.
Monica: What if something gets broken, they're so expensive.
Monica: That's a great idea! I was saving them for something special.
Monica: What is the matter with your hand?
Monica: It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanna spend my life with, if I have to wait another 28 years then, I'll be 56 before I can have a baby, and that's just stupid.
Monica: Ok, but if something gets broken, and then the Queen comes over..
Monica: Yeah, come on, eat, whatever you want. Dr. Roger got beeped again.
Monica: Dont touch her!!
Monica: Oh my God Phoebe, youre on fire!
Joey: (laughs) Monica, look... I don't think you and I have any secrets anymore... (Monica keeps looking at Joey) Not ready to joke about it yet, okay, I see you later. (Joey walks out)
Monica: Wait, you like them with me.
Monica: Anyway, it just doesnt seem worth it to make a whole turkey for just three people. Okay? Its a lot of work.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Chandler is sitting on the couch watching TV as Monica comes out of the bathroom.]
Monica: (airily) Hi.
Monica: Uh-huh, what exactly did you ask her?
Chandler: Yes. When Monica and I were in London, we were both in London.
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
Monica: Or, it could mean that-that you saw Chandler and me together and we y'know were being close and stuff and then you just want to have that with someone too.
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
Monica: (breaks away) Oh wait, just one more thing! One more minute! (To Cecilia) Umm, youre a stupid bitch.
MONICA: Um, you guys, you know when I said before, "thank you, but I don't really need your help"?
Monica: I drew you a bath!
Monica: (entering) So?
Monica: Absolutely.
Monica: All right guys stop it. Rachel, were very sorry that is a very insensitive thing for us to do. And yknow what? Let us make it up to you, we have two really great guys for you.
Monica: All the time. In fact, I was undefeated.
Monica: I cant believe it! What is it? Is it the rubbing or the smell?
Monica: All I have is, is oregano and a Fresca.
Monica: (congested) Ugh, they sent me home. They said I cant work if Im sick.
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Monica is entering.]
Monica: Hello?
Monica: You know what? I-I think Ill wait out here.
Monica: What?
Monica: Oh. (She goes into the bathroom.) Whats wrong?
Monica: Thanks.
Monica: Well, I actually had the weirdest conversation with Joey. He was talking about rules and right and wrong and
Monica: Okay, lets talk about something else.
Monica: (groans) That was a long night.
Monica: Okay, he was talking about rules.
Monica: You did? What was he talking about?
Monica: What did he tell you?
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
(Monica starts smiling)
Monica: Oh, you had that?
Monica: Just a minute! (To Chandler) Thats Mrs. Tribbiani!
Monica: I mean, I-I, I really shouldnt say. I mean, Im really not supposed to.
(Monica runs out to Phoebe, who is in the kitchen)
Monica: Nothing.
Monica: No!
Monica: Its Joey!
Monica: Somebody likes you!
Monica: I guess that makes sense. So, you think youre going to talk to him?
Monica: Not Chandler, just Joey.
Joey: Come on you guys, we want you to know we're (His eye widen even more) very very sorry. (Monica and Chandler are now covering their eyes with their hands) (then to the others in the hall) Right guys?
Monica: Hey.
Monica: What do you think youre doing?
Monica: Remember that guy that gave me a bad review? Well (Feeds him a spoonful of what shes cooking.) Im getting my revenge!
Monica: Yeah, Im going to take a bath. Im just going to get a magazine.
Chandler: (To Monica) You told her?!
Monica: What?
Monica: (Pause) I dont think Id care.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is still writing in her book, Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen as Joey enters.]
MONICA: Shoot, I think I got mayonaise on you.
Monica: Oh, okay. No problem.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Here you go.
Monica: Okay.
Monica: What?!
Monica: It sure is nice to do this together, isnt it?
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe walks up to and knocks on Chandler and Monicas door.]
Monica: Im not touching you.
Monica: (To herself) Whatever keeps you off the balcony, big guy!
Monica: Yes! Exactly.
Monica: Phoebe, I can explain!
Monica: (laughs) No. (Closes the door as Chandler walks up.)
Monica: Phoebe, dont get upset!
Monica: Well umm, Alexandra has been
Monica: Oh my pleasure. Okay, Im afraid Ive got some bad news. (Phoebe enters.) Phoebe!
Monica: No, it doesnt say where it came from. Where would we return it?
Monica: Feminine stuff.
Phoebe: (entering) Hello Chandler, lovely day huh? (To Monica) You!
Monica: Dinosaurs.
Monica: Okay, if it means that much to you
[Scene: Chandler and Monicas, Chandler is sitting at the kitchen table eating cheesecake. The box it came in is also on the table.]
Monica: Yes.
Monica: Nice! Wow Phoebe you are good!
Monica: No. Ooohh
Joey: Sure. "Monica."
Monica: <laughs> Oh yeah, like I'm going to let you talk to the queen.
Monica: Okay, I-Im sorry. You and Joey, your both focusing on this uncomfortable thing, what you need to do is to change the subject. Next time you see him try to get him talking about something else.
Monica: No reason. I-I keep private things in there.
Monica: Hey.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is on the couch as Monica enters.]
Monica: Okay.
Monica: What?
Monica: Whats going on?
Monica: What? (Laughs.)