words in movies
Monica: (to Joey) Whats so funny?
Monica: Oh. (she laughs)
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
Monica: Yeah, ah, but Pheebs dont you think hes a little young to get married?
Monica: So, um, how-how did you guys meet?
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Monica is working, Rachel is having lunch.]
Monica: And y'know what, I just realised, in the last year Ive only gone out with two guys, Richard and Julio. You gotta help me out here, you gotta set me up, you gotta get me back in the game.
Monica: (to a customer) Pete, can I get you something else?
Monica: Havent you and I covered that topic?
Monica: Aww, the only reason you want to go out with me because my blond wig, and the big boobs, and the fact that I serve you food.
Monica: I mean really, think about it.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Monica are entering.]
Monica: Nah, he doesnt do anything for me.
Rachel: Monica, last Saturday night, what happened on Walker: Texas Ranger?
Monica: Well, umm, Walker was looking for this big bus load of kids . (realises) All right, I get your point.
Monica: Hey.
Monica: Uh, yeah.
Monica: Here you go.
Monica: As a joke, this customer at work who has a crush on me gave me a $20,000 tip. His number is on the check, he just did so Id call him.
Monica: Thats Bill Clinton.
Monica: Oh my God! Thats Pete! But why is Bill huggin Pete?
Rachel: Oh my God, Monicas gonna go out with a millionaire.
Monica: Im not gonna go out with him.
Monica: Or incredibly offensive.
Secretary: You have a Miss Monica Geller here.
Pete: Uh, absolutely, yeah, sEnd her in. (Monica enters) Hi.
Monica: What the hell is this? (holding up the check)
Monica: Seriously, what is this supposed to mean?
Monica: Youre supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, whats-whats the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?
Monica: What?!
Monica: Okay, umm, youre a loon.
Monica: I dont know.
Monica: Cause I dont want to encourage this kind of behaviour.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting Monica ready for her date. The guys are also there. The door buzzes.]
Monica: Guys, please, Im just gonna have dinner with him. Okay?
Monica: I know!!
Monica: (opening the door) (to Pete) Hey!
Monica: And thats why, Im not inviting you in for a drink. (starts to leave) Bye.
Monica: (in the hallway) So, where do you want to go?
Monica: Oh, thats sounds great.
[Scene: A restaurant in Rome, Monica is paying for the pizza.]
Monica: Oh come on, its only fair, you paid for the flight. Now is, is that enough lire?
Monica: Why, how much is that?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe, back to reality, are sitting in normal clothes.]
MONICA: You're the most wonderful man. And if you hadn't of said 'if I have to' like seventeen times, then I'd be saying 'okay, let's do it.'
Phoebe: Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And its making me look at him totally differently. Yknow, I mean he used to be just, yknow Jack Geller Monica and Rosss dad and now hes hes Jack Geller, dream hunk."
Monica: Well, maybe she thought that with all of your history it could be, you know, implicit.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the cookie trying period has pasted. Monica, Phoebe, and Ross are reflecting on the days events.]
Monica: Im not sick!! I dont get sick! Getting sick is for weaklings and for pansies!
[Time Lapse, the gang is now watching Law & Order. By the way, the entire rest of the episode takes place in Monica and Rachel's apartment. Why are they called apartments when they're all stuck together? Something to think about.]
Phoebe: YOU'RE FIRED! (mimes the CUT again) (pause and she raises her glass) Cheers! (Chandler raises his, smiling and Monica stares at him and he puts down his glass.)
Monica: I know, Ive been looking at those doors, they look pretty sound proof, dont you think?
Ross: You? You! Want to watch Ben? (in the background Monica mouths Dont worry, Ill be here the whole time. to Ross.) Yes! Thatd be great, no, I just wanted to ask Monica, because I know how empty her life is. (Monica sarcastically mouths Yeah! and holds up her thumb.)
Rachel (to Steve): Look, you know what, I'm sorry, but did you really think that this was going well? (To Monica.) What's up?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone but Phoebe are there reading. Rachel is sitting on the couch flanked by Ross and Monica. She suddenly stops reading and starts blinking her left eye as if it's bothering her. The problem is that Joey is on her left and thinks she's winking at him and winks back. Ross is watching this and isn't quite sure of what to make of it.]
Monica: Okay, I gotta go find Rachel but umm, if you guys see her could you please try to give her some really bad news so that mine doesnt seem so bad? (Exits.)
Monica: Whoa-whoa-whoa, Phoebe you gotta take her! Y’know, I-I-I said some really bad stuff about her, but y’know Rachel has some good qualities that make her a good roommate. She gets tons of catalogs and umm, she’ll fold down the pages of the things she thinks that I’d like.
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Monica: Get all freaked out because everybody was talking and just joking around about marriage and stuff.
Monica: All right, we'll stay. We can just drive up after the party.
Monica: Come here! Come here! (They hug.) Sweetie you dont have to worry. No, besides yknow what? Im gonna have a lot of new things with you. The first time we buy a house. Our first kid. Our first grandkid
Monica: (interrupting) Dont say it!
Monica: Behind my brother's back? (Rachel glares at her) ... is exactly the kind of crazy thing you won't be hearing from me.
Monica: Son of a bitch! (Calls Mrs. Green again.)
Monica: Why dont you phase it out? Yeah, fade the accent out and people will think youre, yknow, that youre adjusting to life in America.
Joey and Chandler: Oh no-no-no! (Monica mutes the TV and they tentatively look behind them)
Monica: No, it just remind me of something this guy did today at work. I told you about that funny guy, Geoffrey, right?
Monica: Okay. I can do that. (Pause) I gotta go powder my ass.
Joey: Hey, Monica, wow youve been in the bathroom for like a half-hour.
Monica: (to Mike) Serve the ball, chump!
Monica: Yep, we're gonna meet the lady who could be carrying our baby.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is sitting at the table and Monica is doing something in the kitchen.]
Monica: Oh, you mean like that guy thing where you act mean and distant until you get us to break up with you.
Monica: I cant do that either! The soles are already a little scuffed up and the insides are filled with my blood.
(Flash, the photographer takes a picture of Monica and Chandlers stunned faces.)
(Monica sees a woman pass by with a baby, puts the phone to her chest, and starts to cry. Chandler takes the phone, makes a noise in it resembling static, and hangs up. Joey enters.)
Monica: Okay, d'y'see anybody you think could be me?
Monica: (in a French accent) Bonjour, monsieur.
Monica: Okay, I was thinking we should have a beautiful guest room, right? With a mahogany sleigh bed and bedside tables with flowers on them all the time! And we could have a roll top desk with comment cards on them so people could say how much they loved staying here!! Okay, whatever, I really havent thought about it that much.
Monica: Hey! (she sits down next to him) Its me. Mon-i-ca! Can I just tell you how proud I am of you.
Monica: Bye. (Leaves to resume her garbage removal task.)
Monica: Ross, just forget about it. This guys got you totally wedged in.
[Scene: Chandlers hotel room. Chandler and Monica are lying in the bed together talking. Theres an awkward air between them. They are both clutching the covers in from of them.]
Monica: Newark airport. Why, where are you?
Rachel: Honey, no one thinks youre a pansy, but we do think you need a tissue. (She notices something hanging from Monicas nose, as does Joey.)
Rachel: Yeah well, not anymore I can't. He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician. Wait wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up, you really liked your doctor. What was his name?
[Scene: Monica's apartment. Phoebe enters carrying the horrific 'painting' of Gladys. Monica and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Monica: Well, honey, it is pretty competitive. I mean I've got an actual rocket scientist here.
Monica: (pleasantly surprised) Ping pong? (to Chandler) Honey, they have ping pong! Let's play!
(Joey, Monica, and Ross all point to their lips to get Rachel to once again notice the ink on her lip.)
Kyle Lowder: (to Monica) Hi. (walks on)
Monica: (to Alan) Thanks. I'll call you tomorrow. (Alan exits, to all) Okay. Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin. Who's gonna take the first shot, hmm?
JOEY: They're ribbed for your pleasure. [Ross and Monica trade their gifts.]
Monica: I know. But umm, one time there was this really dirty car in front of the building, so I washed it.
Monica: Okay, now that everything's wrapped up here, I think I'm, I'm gonna go do my laundry.
Monica: No, no. It felt nice to acknowledge this. (pats Chandler on his leg)
Monica: (interrupting) You can not play bagpipes at the wedding!!
Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!
Monica: Oh my God! Oh, this is incredible! Ohh! (she rolls over and kisses him on the cheek) All right, y'know what? Im just gonna roll right into that office and-and quit!
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
(Rachel hits fast forward. Monica is completely shocked.)
Monica: Frannie was the one who found your Playboys and showed them to mom.
Monica: He didnt ask me to marry him.
Monica: So do you guys gonna come over tomorrow? Ill make that pasta thing I was telling you about.
Monica: I'm sorry. It's just the idea of being an official Bing.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is pounding out the hinge pins on the closet door to get it open.]
Monica: (to the doctor) Wait, did you know it was twins?
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
Monica: You actually broke her watch? Wow! The worst thing I ever did was, I-I shredded by boyfriend's favorite bath towel.
Monica: (checking her clipboard) I have you scheduled for nudity at 2300 hours.
Phoebe: Oh, Greg and Jenny yuck! (Angrily) Hi Greg, Im Chandler this is Monica. Hi Monica, this is Jenny. Hi Jenny. Hi Greg.
Monica: Deep Impact was the one with Robert Duval, Armageddon is whats going to happen to you if you wake me up.
Monica: Yeah, you're my husband. I'm not gonna live in a different state than you for 208 days out of the year.
(Chandler grins, while Monica is less enthusiastic.)
Chandler: No, no, but they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. (Monicas not impressed.) Ill get out of it.
Monica: Ok fine. I'll handle this. (goes to Phoebe who's talking to Rachel) Phoebe?
Monica: (running over to stop Rachel) Hey Rach, the tampons here are only a penny. Lets stock up. (takes her into the bathroom)
Monica: God! Look at all these tickets! It's so exciting! You know I haven't won anything since the sixth grade.
Chandler: So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? And Monica, with that snort when she laughs? I mean, what the hell is that thing? ...I accept all those flaws, why can't you accept me for this?
(Monica takes a big swig of her martini.)
Monica: So, maybe I am a little high maintenance. And maybe Rachel is a little bit of a pushover. But you know what we decided you are?
MONICA: So you can't lose, it's there in the title. Wonderfullness is baked right in.
Joey: Monica face it, Chandler is against marriage. And-and always will be!
Monica: It says “Do it!”. And behold she did adopt onto them a baby. And it was good.
Phoebe: (with a fancy dress, still playing and singing): It wasn't just that she was fat, the woman smelled like garbage! Everyone! It wasn't just that she was fat the woman smelled like garbaaaaaage! (to Monica, showing her dress) Classy, uh?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are cautiously serving Phoebe some tea.]
Monica: (sounds desperate, knowing what Rachel is trying to do) I haven't really settled on a spot yet!
Chandler: (entering, happily, with a bottle of champagne, thinking that Monica is the only one there) Ha-ha-ha-(sees everyone)-enh-enh. I'm so glad you guys are all here! My office finally got wrinkle free fax paper!
[This starts a series of flashbacks starting with Monica and Chandler forcing Joey to keep his new found knowledge of their secret relationship in Monicas bedroom in The One With All the Kips.]
Monica: Oh, how do you play the shadow game?
Monica: Uhm the... the ministry... of names... bureau...
Monica: (freaking out) What-what-whats that now?!
Monica: Oh my God, I wrecked your baby!! (runs into the bedroom)
Monica: (Offering Ross the skull) Licorice?
Cassie: Thanks for letting me stay here! I mean Monicas place was nice, but her fiancee sure stares a lot.
Monica: (with no hesitation) Sex!
Monica: (On phone) Hi, Nancy. Hi, it's Monica Geller. I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa. Well yeah, my husband has been relocated...Because I love him! No, I don't want a job in New York. Javo (sp?) is looking? Oh my God! He asked for me personally? Oh my God! Oh, wow, this is really flattering, but I'm moving to Tulsa. Yeah, so if you would tell Javo (sp?) 'I'll take it!'
Monica: Thats because he wasnt invited because of the way he behaved at our engagement party.
Monica: Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. You just gotta do it.
Monica: All right then. (He leans in to kiss her goodnight, but she quickly kisses him on the cheek and pats his shoulder.) Bye.
Monica: Look what I got! Look what I got! Look what I got! (She shows Rachel what she bought. She bought a little leather jacket and a little cowboy outfit for the babies.) Can you believe they make these for little people?
Monica: So big deal, so Joeys had a lot of girlfriends, it doesnt mean hes great in bed.
Monica: Anyway erm, are you going to get a handyman to install this stuff?