words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Rachel, Joey, and Monica are sitting on the couch as Ross is up getting some coffee.]
Monica: Okay, guys, listen, don't forget that tomorrow is the day that Emily gets married again, so whatever we do, just try to really keep Ross's mind off of it.
Monica: Hey!
Phoebe: Monica, I'm sorry I didn't come by last night. I was out with Gary; he let me ride around with him in his cop car. We saw and prevented crimes.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is kneeling at the coffee table and has a bunch of pictures laid out in front of her as Rachel enters.]
Monica: Hey! Oh, I'm so glad you're home, I thought tonight we could finally organize these photos!
Monica: Okay, I've broken them down into categories. Okay, we have uh, we got holidays, birthdays, candids, y'know And then what I've done is I've cross-referenced them by subject. Right? So if you're looking up, oh let's say birthdays and dogs, you get Photo 152. See? (Hands her the photo.)
Monica: You can also find him under umm, dog and dead.
Monica: All right, hand me that other box of photos; that's the very last one.
Monica: I hadn't! Photo 152 was a prototype.
Monica: All right, he's keys are in the drawer. Y'know what? I also need some cash.
Monica: Nah, while you're at Ross's if you see any lying around
Monica: What?! I-I-I don't, I don't do that!
Joey: Are you thinking about Monica?
Monica: (on the answering machine) Rach! It's me! Pick up!
Monica: I need a few more things to make the margaritas. Uhh, I need some salt, some margarita mix, and tequila.
Monica: See if he has ice.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Rachel is playing Emily's message to Monica.]
Monica: (does Rachel's) Nooo!
Monica: Well thank God you were here! I mean, we have to erase that!
Monica: We have too! I mean what if Ross's hears that and then calls her back and then they get back together? Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling, neurotic, crazy Emily? The Emily that wouldn't let him see you?
Monica: I'm his sister, okay? I love him! I don't want to see him get hurt! Come on! Doesnt that give me the right to control himhelp him?
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
Monica: Y'know what, this is obviously some kind of twisted joke she's trying to play on him.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Monica has all the supplies she needs and is getting ready to leave.]
Monica: All right, I guess we should go.
Monica: Oh yeah right! (She grabs the money and shoves into her pocket.)
Rachel: No, Monica! Monica! We have to fix this!
Monica: There's nothing we can do. You erased the message!
Monica: Well, if you're gonna be totally rational about this, I can't argue with you! All right? Fine, if you wanna tell him, tell him. I just don't want to be a part of it.
Monica: Wow! Play that message for Emily and this whole problem goes away!
Ross: (looking at the coffee table where his money was) Hey umm, was-was Monica here?
Monica: Man, I would be great in a war! I mean, I really, I think I would make a fantastic military leader. I mean I know I would make General way before any of you guys.
Monica: Hey, look at me. I'm making jam, been at it since 4 o'clock this morning.
Monica: Yknow, maybe its best that we never got to do it again.
MONICA: Damnit Ross, get your butt out of the bathroom.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Close up of the flan on the table with birthday candles.]
Monica: We're Aunt Monica and uncle Chandler, by the way. You may not recognize us, because we haven't spoken to your parents in seventeen years!
Monica: (faking happiness) Well, I-I-I-I... I don't know...
Ross: Look Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind stuff all right. Believe me, I lived with her for 16 years. She is going to freak out. Oh my God, she's going to sit on you.
MONICA: Really?� But tomorrow night is the only night I get off from the restaurant.� If you go to the game, we won't have a night together for another week.
Monica: They all came from the list you handed out to us two weeks ago.
Phoebe: I need to talk to you, its pretty urgent. Its about Monica and Chandler.
Monica: Oh, the way you crushed Mike at ping pong was such a turn-on.You wanna...? (plays with her finger on Chandlers chest)
Monica: All right, umm, were not gonna really keep it this way though.
MONICA: Nothin', nothin', hey you're a cheapasaurus. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, thank you, I'm very greatful.
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ryan is walks up to the door and knocks.]
Monica: (trying not to laugh) Im not laughing.
Monica: I don't know! Why don't you just explain? What do they want? Find out what they want!
[Scene: Outside the Nursery, Chandler is looking at the babies as Monica walks up.]
CHANDLER: I'm sorry.� I, I told you I was in Tulsa because I wanted to spend the night with Monica and I, I didn't know . . .� I didn't think you'd understand.
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica and Chandler are returning and Monica finds her basket is empty.]
Monica: Im checking out the restaurant with Pete.
Mr. Geller: I think I accidentally used Monicas boxes to keep the water away from the Porsche.
Monica: I wish we at least knew his name... Look at that face. I mean, even sleeping, he looks smart. I bet he's a lawyer.
Chandler: (intrigued) Yeah? (Monica nods yes.) I hope youre not thinking about cleaning the living room.
Phoebe: Okay, dont sweat it. (Looking around her.) Chandler is nowhere around so go ahead get it out of your system. That guys cute. (Points to a guy sitting behind Monica.)
[Scene: The beach house, Joey and Chandler are sitting at the dinner table, Monica is looking in the fridge.]
Rachel: Joey! Why did you tell Chandler that Monica was getting a boob job?
Monica: (to Mike) This doesn't concern you!!
[Scene: The hospital, Ross and Monica are in Phoebes room. Phoebe is in the bathroom and Monica notices smoke coming out from underneath the door.]
Monica: Look, I am not high maintenance. I am not. Chandler!
MONICA: Thanks. So, I guess I better be going.
Monica: Well, given that we forgot to invite her it would be an awfully big coincidence if she was.
Chandler: Glass, sand, whatever. (Walks out as Monica and Phoebe turn to check on the babies again.)
Monica: Listen uh, I-Ive been doing some thinking, and I dont know whether its because were here or Rachels giving birth but umm, I think we should try to have a baby.
Ross: I grew up with Monica! If you didnt eat fast you didnt eat!!
Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?
Monica: Why would I say anything? That two of our best friends could start the greatest love affair of their lives! And they would have me to thank, and we could all start having babies?
Monica: Well I-I talked to and uh, shes definitely going to have this baby. Yknow, she said she was gonna raise it on her own.
(Monica nods `Yes.' And they both walk to the couch looking all depressed.)
Joey: (entering) Thats my line! (He walks up the aisle and to the rabbi) I can take it from here, thanks. (To all) Dearly beloved, Im sorry Im a little late. You may be confused by this now, (Hes still in costume) but you wont be Memorial Day weekend 2002. Well, lets get started before the groom takes off again. Huh? (Monica is shocked and looks around.) We are gathered here today, to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. Ive known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and I can not imagine two people more perfect for each other. And now, as Ive left my notes in my dressing room. We shall proceed to the vows. Monica?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Continued from earlier, Rachel is now telling everyone of her experience in the garbage room.]
Monica: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, hes actually going to kill you dead.
Monica: I mean this has been like my dream since I got my first Easy Bake Oven and opened Easy Monicas Bakery. I mean I would kill for this job. I mean I can totally do this job, and God knows I paid my dues. (She removes her fake breasts) But Petes just doing this because he has a crush on me.
Monica: You broke a little girls leg?!!
Monica: Look, I know that you're in a place right now where you really need to hate Julie's guts, but she didn't do anything wrong. I mean, she was just a girl who met a guy, and now they go out. I really think that if you gave her a chance, you'd like her. Would you just give that a chance, for me?
Rachel: Monica, last Saturday night, what happened on Walker: Texas Ranger?
Monica: Did you like learn about her family?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Chandler are talking. Joey and Phoebe are getting coffee.]
MONICA: Upstairs in the bathroom right before you felt up mom.
Monica: Oh y'know what? If you're gonna be acting like this all night, I really, I don't even want to be around you.
Monica: (on phone) Hello Greg? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica from the plane? Listen, the number that you gave me 853-5 (Listens) (To Chandler) That is their old number! Jennys been giving it out since they moved!
[Cut to Monica and Phoebe searching the basement.]
Monica: No, its not a sign! Its a very old key!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is lamenting to everyone about hid dad's affair.]
Monica: (to Joey) I'll pick you up at eleven. So glad you're coming.
Monica: Limited seating my ass. Lets see who made the cut. (To the couple sitting to her right.) Hi!
Monica: If Phoebe were my maid of honor
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
Monica: How did it go with Frank and Alice?
Monica: Uh, Aunt Iris? This is Phoebe, and that's Rachel...
Monica: Thank you! (He tries the door again and Monica glares at him.)
Richard: Oh, Im sorry. (Introduces them.) Lisa, (nodding at each) Monica, Chandler. We used to date.
Monica: in this day and age how dumb do you have to be to get pregnant?
Ross: Why?! Why on the lips?! (He wipes his mouth on Monicas wrap and walks off, leaving Aunt Millie stunned.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Phoebe is at the sink and Chandler is looking at a ring brochure.]
[Scene: Dots Spot, Chip and Monica are on there date, eating dinner. Chip is telling a story.]
Monica: How can you not remember? You made us call you...Bea.
Monica: Honey, cover it up with the boat!
Monica: (entering) (Gasps) How did you get in there?!
Monica: Here, let me show you. Okay, the towels are hanging next to the sink, and umm, you can use the fancy soap.
Monica: Oh my God! How cute is the on-call doctor?
Rachel: Wait a minute! (To Monica) You let Ross drive the Porsche and when I ask you, you say youre the only one whos allowed to drive it.
[Scene: The Wedding Chapel, continued from last season. Chandler and Monica are about to get married.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to apply her eye drops while Monica looks on.]
Monica: (looking out of the window) Oh my God. You guys! You gotta come see this! There's some creep out there with a telescope!
Monica: Do NOT let me sit in one of those. We'll be here for days.
[Time Lapse: the crowd has left and only Mona, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe are still watching to see who will be able to move the others arm first. An event that has yet to happen.]
Monica: See? This is exactly why Im making this candy. We can learn their names and get to know our neighbors.
Monica: Am I on fire today or what?! Those birds are browned, basted, and ready to be carved!
Rachel: (whispering) Why? (Monica gesticulates mumbling something that starts with "because") Seriously I did not understand a word that you said.
(Ross, Rachel and Joey come back from the bathroom. They discover that Monica and Ethan aren't finished talking to each other yet.)
Chandler: Because it says "Captain Ross" on the side and "I hate Monica" on the bottom.
Monica: You heard him! "No bigger!" "You're perfect!" "Just don't get any bigger!" Oh my god he sounded just like my high school wrestling coach. You know what? I'm going to have to talk to Chandler.
Monica: Wow, Monica! What an amazing opportunity to influence dozens of people.
Monica: Listen, Im sure that dad doesnt care. He probably thought this was funny; hell be telling this story for years!
Monica: Oh my God, you cant even see where the Titanic hit it.
Joey: Good luck. (to Monica) And Im still right!
Monica: Toe the line. Thread the needle. Think outside the box! (Tries to leave, but is stopped by Rachel.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Phoebe enters to see Monica, Richard, Ross, and Rachel tearfully watching TV.]
(pause before Monica and Chandler speak, they look like they are looking for the right words)
Monica: Didn't you hear that speech? If you don't kiss him then I will!
Monica: Howd the lecture go?
Monica: Chandler, if that dog's been here that long, and you haven't had a reaction, maybe you're not allergic to this dog?
Monica: Okay. Okay, Im ready. Come on big fella!
Phoebe: Okay. (on phone) Ooh, Im setting the phone down. (does so) But Im still here! Just dont go anywhere Im still here. (starts to put on the sweater) Dont-dont switch or anything, cause Im, Im right here. (She has pulled the sweater over her head, but her head is stuck in a sleeve.) Just one sec. One sec! One second!! (She is now frantically trying to get the sweater on, as Monica returns from the bathroom.) Wait! One second! Just
Monica: (starting to cry) Im a good person. And Im a good chef, and I dont deserve to have marinara sauce all over me! Yknow what, if you want me to quit this bad, then all you have to do is
Monica: Okay, come on, I can't get married until I get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.
(Monica breaks the hug and starts for the bedroom.)
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)
Monica: Hey Joey, Chandler sold a story to Archie Comics!