words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is looking at papers.]
Monica: I have no idea. But look how much they spent!
Rachel: Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said that you only have to pay for the stuff that you bought.
Monica: I know. It's just such reckless spending.
Monica: That's me.
Monica: Ross, you've got to do something about the humping.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, late at night Monica is still examining her bill as Rachel emerges from her room.]
Rachel: Oh, Monica. You are not still going over that thing.
Monica: This woman's living my life.
Monica: She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me! Look at this, look. She buys tickets for plays that I wanna see. She, she buys clothes from stores that I'm intimidated by the sales people. She spent three hundred dollars on art supplies.
Monica: Yeah, well I might be if I had the supplies! I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only I don't.
Rachel: Oh, Monica, c'mon, you do cool things.
Monica: Oh really? Okay, let's compare, shall we.
Monica: Do I go horseback riding in the park? Do I take classes at the New School?
Monica: This is so unfair! She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]
Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.
Monica: (Hushes her) Alright, great. Thanks a lot. (Hangs up) I'm going to tap class.
Monica: This woman's got my life, I should get to see who she is.
Rachel: Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! ...Okay, Monica, y'know what, honey, you're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing.
Phoebe: This is madness. It's madness, I tell you, for the love of God, Monica, don't do it!! ...Thank you.
Monica: What d'you think?
Monica: Oh, no thanks, we're just here to observe.
Monica: Okay, d'y'see anybody you think could be me?
(Everyone starts to dance in unison. Monica flounders)
Monica: Okay, I'm not getting this!
Monica: Did you ever feel like sometimes you are just so unbelievably uncoordinated?
Monica: Great. It's gym class all over again.
Monica: Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare.
Woman: Hi. I'm Monica.
Monica: Oh. Monica! ...Hi. I'm Mo- ...nana.
Woman: (Fake Monica) Monana?
Monica: Yeah. It's Dutch.
Fake Monica: You're kidding! I-I spent three years in Amsterdam. (Asks her something in Dutch)
Monica: Um, Pennsylvania Dutch.
(Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel enters.)
Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel and Fake Monica are there.]
Fake Monica: Monana was very brave.
Monica: It was so wild. We told them we were the Gunnersens in room six fifteen. Only to find out the Boston Celtics had taken over the entire sixth floor!
Fake Monica: So once they caught on to the fact that we're, y'know, short and have breasts...
Monica: ...They threw us out! I was thrown out of a hotel! Me!
Fake Monica: Oh, by the way, tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show.
Monica: 'Scuse me?
Fake Monica: There's an open call for Cats. I'm thinking we go down there, sing Memories and make complete fools of ourselves. Whaddya say?
Monica: Nononononono. Think who you're dealing with here. I mean, I'm not like you. I-I can't even stand in front of a tap class.
Fake Monica: Well, that's just probably 'cause of your Amish background.
Monica: What?
Fake Monica: Well, you're Pennsylvania Dutch, right?
Monica: Right. Till I bought a blow dryer, then I was shunned.
Fake Monica: I-I used to be just like you. And then one day I saw a movie that changed my life. Did you ever see Dead Poets' Society?
Monica: Uh-huh.
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
Monica: Wow. Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, tiem lapse. Everyone but Joey and Monica are there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is dusting. She comes to the table, lifts all the magazines and wipes under them, then just puts them down again. Monica bursts in, obviously drunk.]
Monica: Yo- hooo!
Monica: Monica and I just crashed an embassy party.
Monica: Noooo! (Comes closer and whispers) I'm lying. I am so drunk.
Rachel: Oh God, oh. Great, Monica, y'know what, you could've called, I have been up here, I've been worried...
(Monica is drinking from the tap)
Rachel: Monica? Monica!
Monica: Water rules!
Monica: Nope. Going to the Big Apple Circus today.
Rachel: Okay Monica, what are you doing? You're gonna lose your job! This is not you!
Monica: No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana!
Monica: Helloooo? Yeah. Oh my God. Thanks.
Monica: They've arrested Monica.
[Scene: New York City Department of Correction, Monica is visiting Fake Monica.]
Monica: Hi.
Fake Monica: Hey.
Monica: How are you?
Fake Monica: I'm not too bad. Fortunately, blue's my colour. How-how did you know I was here?
Monica: Because... I'm Monica Geller. It was my credit card you were using.
Fake Monica: That I was not expecting.
Monica: I want you to know, it wasn't me who turned you in.
Fake Monica: Oh. Thanks.
Monica: No, thank you! You have given me so much! I mean, if it wasn't for you, I would never have gotten to sing Memories on the stage at the Wintergarden Theater!
Fake Monica: Well, actually, you only got to sing 'Memo-'.
Monica: I just can't believe you're in here. I mean, what am I gonna do without you? Who's gonna crash the embassy parties with me? Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus?
Fake Monica: Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty-five other women, and you're worried about who's gonna take you to the Big Apple Circus?
Monica: Well, not... worried, just... wondering.
Fake Monica: There's nothing to wonder about, Monica. You're gonna go back to being exactly who you were, because that's who you are.
Monica: Not necessarily...
Fake Monica: Yes necessarily! I mean, I dunno what it is, maybe it's the Amish thing.
Monica: Um, I'm not actually Amish.
Fake Monica: Really? Then why are you like that?
[Scene: Tap Class, Monica is standing by the door.]
Monica: In. (She joins in the dancing. She still flounders)
Monica: Yeah, but at least I'm doing it!
[Scene: The Airport, everyone but Monica is there to see off Marcel.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's bedroom, theyre cuddling.]
Monica: What?
Monica: Just mine?
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Monica is on the phone with her mother, Chandler is standing behind her.]
Monica: I cant believe this! (Storms out.)
MONICA: For the sixteenth time, no... I do not think you're obsessive.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle as Rachel enters.]
Chandler: (To Monica) Its a nickname, Ill explain later.
Monica: (shocked) What?!
(Ross gets up to let his dad sit next to Monica.)
Monica: All right!
Monica: (opening it) Whats this?
Monica: Wait, youre giving me your Porsche, youre kidding me right?!
Monica: (entering) Hey guys!
Monica: (grabbing the gift from him and opening it) Okay! There you go! It's two tickets to Vegas!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling Chandler and Monica how she fought crime in her own way with the badge she found.]
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
Monica: Happy birthday!!!
Monica: Its your birthday!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are entering. As Phoebe is sitting down, she recognizes someone sitting at the counter.]
Phoebe: Rachel! Come on out! Monica made breakfast!
[Flashback to Joeys thirtieth birthday party. It is being held in Monica and Chandlers apartment.]
Monica: Well, I mean what about friends of your grandmothers? Wouldnt they have the recipe?
Monica: Rach, youre in a great place in your life. Come on, youve got a great job! Good friends
Monica: Yeah, Ill have a scotch
Monica: Did you eat all the neighbor candy?!
Monica: Oh please! (To Chandler) Did you hear that? Little drops of heaven.
Monica: I'm sure everything's fine. Has her water broke yet?
Monica: So I don't have to sing and I can just sit there and pass judgments on others?
Monica: I cant believe you bought this.
Monica: Oh, my mothers right. Im never going to get married.
Monica: No! No-no! He is totally incompetent. I called the chef who recommended him to me. He said, "Ha-ha! Gotcha!"
Ross: Monica had such a crush on him. Yeah, she used to kiss his poster every night before she went to bed.
Monica: Werent you asked to leave sonny?
Monica: Look at this. (Hands him the newspaper.)
Monica: Chocolate-chip pancakes!
Chandler: (To Joey) Would you put that back on?! Monicas gonna be here any minute!
Monica: Really?! You promise?
Monica: Noo!!
Monica: Noo!!!
Monica: Okay. I love you so much. (Kisses him.)
Monica: Oh no! My parents have never seen me drunk! (Pause) That they know of.
Monica: Okay. I can do that.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
(Phoebe turns and looks at Monica, while Joey frantically motions to Chandler to help him out.)
Monica: Yay!
Monica: Phil!
Monica: (sees someone) Paul!
Monica: Awwwww (Giggles.)
Monica: Well, theyre just gonna have to wait arent they? Ive only got two hands!!
Monica: All right, that's it. You know what? Just get out of my way and stop moping.
Chandler: Monicas wasted.
Chandler: Monicas a little drunk.
Monica: Oh no sweetie, no! This is my fault, I wasnt clear! Im really sorry. And listen, you take as much time as you need to move out okay? Theres absolutely no rush.
Monica: Im sick of the signs! Its too fast, Im happy the way things are!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, Ross, and Chandler are watching Phoebe polish the daisies on her bike outside.]
Monica: All you had to do was buy the card!
Monica: (entering) Hey guys!
Monica: (entering) Hey, you guys.
Monica: For your information, ass munch, I've lost four pounds. Maybe even five with all the dancing. (A guy enters holding a pizza box)
(Monica sits down on the barca lounger.)
Chandler: (To Monica) How are you feeling?
Monica: Ha, ha, very funny, very funny. But I think we'd like to give poker another try. Shall we, ladies?
Mrs. Geller: Speech! Come on Monica!
Monica: Oh man!
Monica: Hes gonna eat the cake!
Monica: What about your breath?! (Breathes on him.)
(They spilt into their sexes and the girls read Monicas and the guys read Chandlers. The girls gasp and groan and the guys laugh hysterically.
Monica: I'm not really here. Just thought I'd drop these off...on the way.. my way... Do you come here a lot? Without me?
Chandler: (To Ross) Monica said wedding.
Monica: Okay, so Ross will be doing the reading.
Monica: Yeah, it's just we don't think of you as really being so much "with the words".
Monica: Do you mind telling us what it is?
Monica: Wouldnt you love to do it just once?! (Raises her hand towards Chandler.)
Monica: Who are they killing off?
Rachel and Monica: Noo!!
PHOE: Ok, all right. We want to hear everything. Monica, get the wine and unplug the phone. Rachel, does this end well or do we need to get tissues?
Monica: Why did I 'woo-hoo'? I mean, what was I hoping would happen? That-that he'd turn round and say 'I love that sound, I must have you now'?
Monica: Mom says it's all of Manhattan, parts of Brooklyn and Queens, and they have no idea when it's coming back on.
Monica: Rosss apartment is nice! How come we don't hang out here more often?
Monica: It sounds like its coming from across the street.
Monica: What is that?
Chandler: (To Monica) Shes not as pretty as she was when she was 29.
Monica: What?
Monica: Nooo!!
Monica: So-so you wouldve just lied?
Monica: Please! I made this game what it is.
[Scene: Monicas birthday, its just after the surprise.]
(Ross angrily throws the kit into one of Monicas new boxes.)
Monica: Do you want some shortbread? Eh thats Scottish like you are.
Monica: What if I turn out the lights? (Runs to shut them off.)
Monica: And y'know what, I just realised, in the last year Ive only gone out with two guys, Richard and Julio. You gotta help me out here, you gotta set me up, you gotta get me back in the game.
JOEY: [Monica walks back in the kitchen] Ok ok ok ok. Monica, we'll bring him, but only if he takes the Jaguar.
Monica: (yelling at the top of her lungs) Im engaged!!!!!! Im engaged!!!!
Monica: No, you said the baby creeps you out.
Monica: Hey. So um, I was thinking that maybe we should start dividing up our stuff.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, the gang minus Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast. Ross and Chandler are sitting at the foosball table and eating.]
Monica: What is DOOL?
Joey: (examining it) Ohh, a hunk of sandwich from last year. (Monica drops the sandwich)
MONICA: Ok, which one of us do you think is gonna be the first one to get married?