words in movies
[cut to Rachel and Monica at the counter.]
Rachel: (to Monica) I mean is that woman capable of talking about anything else but sex?
Monica: Joey, she was listing the countries shes done it in.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are waiting for Phoebe to arrive with the cab.]
Monica: (watching a happy couple walk by, arm in arm) Would you look at them. Am I ever gonna find a boyfriend again? I gonna die an old maid.
Monica: (sarcastic) Thanks!
(At that suggestion Monica starts laughing.)
Monica: Yeah right.
Monica: You made a joke right? So I laughed.
Monica: Well, no. Youre Chandler. Y'know, Chandler! (hits him on the arm)
Monica: Well Id probably be scared of a guy using a fake voice.
Monica: Oh, hey! Oh good, you brought food!
Chandler, Monica, and Joey: Hey!!
Monica: Seriously, where did you get the hat?
[Scene: At the Beach, its raining cats and dogs as the gang arrives. Chandler and Monica are taking shelter under Rachels hat.]
Monica: Whats with all this sand? (picking a handful of sand off of the floor, which is covered in sand)
[Scene: The beach house, its still raining. Chandler is building a sand castle, Rachel is doing Monicas nails, and theyre all drinking margaritas, obviously bored.]
Monica: What?!
Monica: What are you crazy?!
Rachel: (to Monica) Allll done!
Monica: Aww, thank you.
Monica: (to Phoebe) So whats Phoebe like?
Phoebe: Im kind, caring, and sweet. Whats Monica like?
Monica: Ah no, the other Phoebe, the one you went to go see.
Monica: Oh well, where is he?!
Phoebe: She was acting, she was pretending like she hasnt heard from him on years, but I found this picture on her fridge, and look (shows Monica)! Isnt this what he would look like now?
Monica: (gasps) Totally familiar. (Phoebe shows the rest of them.)
Monica: Well, why would she lie to you?
Monica: Strip Happy Days Game?
(Monica rolls, and Ross goes first.)
Phoebe: Monica, if you get five cool points, you get to make somebody take off one item of clothing. It hasnt happened yet, but were all very excited.
Monica: I think Ill help her out. (She gets up to go over and help Rachel, and reveals she has no pants.) (to Rachel) What is going on here?
Monica: You painting his toenails?
Monica: Chasing him all around the room?
Rachel: Monica, please?
Monica: Hes totally flirting with you too.
[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Chandler and Monica are in the kitchen eating breakfast.]
Monica: Huh?
Monica: You didnt even take off your pants.
Monica: What?
Monica: Like a log.
[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating hes coming to pick up Monica for a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]
Monica: Thats that weird voice again.
(Monica closes the door, Chandler knocks, and Monica opens it to reveal Chandler on his knees.)
Chandler: Hi! Im Dorf! Youre date for the evening. (Monica walks away in disgust) Oh come on! Dorf on dating, thats good stuff!!
Monica: Yknow what? I-I think that umm, I dont feel like going to The Plaza.
Monica: Because then I dont have to!
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebes, I would be Rachels, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
Monica: Yeah thats right.
Monica: Aw, sometimes. Always, actually.
Monica: Im really not deciding!
Monica: Something went wrong with Underdog, and they couldn't get his head to inflate. So anyway, um, his head is like flopping down Broadway, right, and I'm just thinking... how inappropriate this is. Um, I've got something in my eye, uh, Joey, could we check it in the light, please?
Monica: Shes my favorite character on DOOL.
Rachel: Ohh! No way Phoebe! I want to be Monicas!
Ross: What is Monicas biggest pet peeve?
Monica: I made you a surprise.
Monica: She was like 30, dark hair, attractive.
Monica: Why?
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: Oh my God yes! Who is she?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Chandler: Monica and I are engaged.
Monica: Did you break up with her?
Monica: Fat?!
Monica: Well, apparently she does.
Monica: You broke up with a girl because she was fat?!
Monica: No, its more like a (sarcastically) good luck.
Monica: I wanted it so bad! (Pause) Wanna go pack?
Monica: You-youre gonna have to put your foot down?
Monica: Okay, well, why don't we all meet upstairs in an hour?
Monica: Youre Lewis Posin.
Monica: Its harder for me! I have those four other women to compete with!
(As hes talking Monica notices someone familiar has just entered the restaurant. Lets see; I seem to remember him driving a Ferrari in Hawaii solving crimes as a private investigator and as a certain eye doctor in more recent times.)
Joey: Were now in the ceremony, Monica is about to say, "I do" when her drunk uncle starts yelling. What do you do? Go!
Monica: Lets take a walk. (They start to leave.) Yknow maybe you should consider writing for Talking Out of Your Ass magazine! (They exit.)
Monica: I need a few more things to make the margaritas. Uhh, I need some salt, some margarita mix, and tequila.
Monica: Its pretty clear.
[Pete enters with his entourage all pumped up, and Ross and Monica are the only ones who stand up and cheer.]
(Monica gasps and holds her forehead. Phoebe, Rachel and Ross pull back their heads)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is pacing, waiting for Chandler to return. Chandler enters.]
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Monica: All right, I I have to ask.
Monica: Why dont you just stop doing stupid things? Then you wouldnt have to apologize.
Monica: Well Thats not the only time this was an issue. You remember when umm, you spent Thanksgiving with us? You called me fat.
Monica: How?
Monica: Keep going.
Monica: I love you. (They hug and kiss.)
Monica: Im not your best friend?
Monica: (entering) Hey, whats going on?
Phoebe: Yknow Rach, I think that, I think you should be Monicas made of honor.
Chandler: (looks afraid, but at the same time, knows she's right) Well, we have to do something. We can't have her living next door. (Janice's laughs loudly outside) Oh, that does it too. (Motions with his index finger like Monica did)
Monica: Y'know what? Y'know when I said that I want you to deal with this relationship stuff all on your own? Well, you're not ready for that.
Monica: Really? Okay, so why dont you tell me what happened to Ross Junior year at Disneyland?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Joey enter having just woken up.]
Monica: Kinda. (She hugs Phoebe and looks out the window. She moves closer to it to get a better look.) Oh my God!
[Cut to Central Perk, Fat Monica and Rachel are on the couch.]
Monica: I hear ya. Excuse me for just a second! (Gets up and heads for the bathroom as that annoying Gotta-win-at-all-costs-super-competitive thing kicks in again.)
Monica: (gives her a look) Gee, I dont know Rach. Order up!! I got a Yentel soup, a James Beans, and a Howdy hold the Dowdy!
Monica: She sent the chicken back again?!
Monica: Im fine.
Monica: Oh Uh
Monica: Well, she saw the ring.
Monica: Okay, Rachel, you wanna put the marshmellows in concentric circles.
Monica: Huh?
Monica: Oh my God, shes not gonna like the chicken that night either is she?!
Monica: Really?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Phoebe enters with a paper turkey.]
Monica: Its not like, I havent any opportunities. I mean, yknow, Im just waiting for the perfect guy. Im seeing this guy Roger, all right? Hes not perfect, but umm, I think maybe I should just get it over with. Yknow, give him my flower.
MONICA: How many perfectly fine women are you gonna reject over the most superficial insignificant things?
Monica: Is that all?
Monica: Well now, I get to spend my shower with the only people I really love! I mean, I get all those presents (Motions to the pile in the corner) without having to talk to people I dont even like!
Monica: He might still show up.
Monica: Umm, excuse me, we switched apartments. You cant eat are food anymore, that-that gravy train had ended.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is on her dinner date with Joshua.]
Monica: Its actually going to be just family.
Monica: Okay. Could the waiters gather around to hear tonights specials? Okay, first there is a Chilean Sea Bass prepared with a Mango relish on a bagWhy is nobody writing these down?
Monica: Oh my God, Joey, that is such a great tip.
Monica: Why is this car in my bedroom?
Monica: What are we gonna do?
Chandler: (To Monica) Did she see us yet? Did she see us?
Monica: Janice, what umm, what are you doing here?
Monica: Absolutely! (He goes to kiss her, but she stops him and rubs his head and says...) Now get out of here you!! (Pete leaves) (to the gang) Okay, Im running out of places I can touch him! Look, is there something wrong with me? I mean why am I only attracted to guys where theres no future? Either theyre too old, or theyre too young, and then theres Pete whos-whos crazy about me, and whos absolutely perfect for me, and theres like zip going on! I mean, seriously, does it sound like somethings wrong with me?!
Monica: I never stop thinking about it.
Monica: Oh my God! Oh my God! You have to go!
Monica: Thats right. Thats right. And that is why you cant stay here tonight. And probably why you shouldnt come to the wedding.
Monica: Because Chandler still has feelings for you!
Monica: We were, we were just in the storage area and we saw this really creepy man!
Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.
MONICA: Oh, God forbid.
[Cut to Monica and Chandlers, Rachel is entering.]
Monica: 'Cause you invited your assistant.
(They hug, and Richard notices a stocking stuck to Monicas back, which he removes for her.)
Monica: Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
Monica: That's my pie!
Ross: Man! (Monica mouths, "Im sorry.")
MONICA: (holding up a blanket) Where's Benny? (drops the blanket) There he is! (does it again) Where's Benny, there he is.
Monica: I'll be right there!
[Scene: Ross' apartment, Monica and Chandler enter.]
Monica: Phoebe, there's a dog sitting on my couch!
Monica: Nestle Tollhouse?!
Doug: Hey Bing! (Slaps him on his ass.) (Sees Monica) Wo-ho-ho, who's the pretty lady and what the hell is she doing with you?
Monica: Ross, I'm gonna use yours, okay?
Monica: Phoebe, why is there a dog in our apartment?
Monica: (walks to Phoebe's door) Phoebe! Phoebe, open up!
[Time lapse, Chandler and Monica enter.]