words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Rosss secret marriage.]
Monica: Youre kidding!
Monica: Ross!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Monica are at the counter getting some more coffee.]
Monica: Joey, why dont you put them in the lost and found?
Monica: Oh my God, what a fun day! That sounds great!
Monica: Dont worry about it Phoebe, well absolutely do it.
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on! Itll give us great practice for when(realizes what shes about to say and changes)people with babies come to visit.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe and Rachel are having tea.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next day, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are baby-sitting the triplets. They each have one baby.]
Monica: Pheebs, hows it going?
Monica: Nope, sound like me. Pheebs, its going great. Look at Chandler with little baby girl Chandler.
Monica: What do you mean?
[Time lapse, they have set up a little assembly line for diaper changes. Phoebe wipes, Chandler adds the powder, begrudgingly, and Monica puts the diaper on.]
Monica: This is so great! This is exactly how we set the plates at the restaurant.
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Monica: Oh yeah, I got soap and sponges and rags and Carnuba wax and polishing compound.
Monica: I know. But umm, one time there was this really dirty car in front of the building, so I washed it.
Monica: And six others.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the triplets are all in their crib as Monica and Phoebe watch them.]
Monica: Yeah, two hours, a lifetime thats the same.
Monica: Chandler, what are you doing? That thing can put someones eye out!
Chandler: Glass, sand, whatever. (Walks out as Monica and Phoebe turn to check on the babies again.)
Monica: Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.
Monica: How are you still single?!
Monica: Good. What made you change your mind?
Monica: Damnit! Yknow this whole time we were concentrating on watching the babies and, and no one was watching Chandler! (He does it again.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is still doing the hairball thing as Monica and Phoebe are watching the babies. I cant describe it, youll have to see it when it comes on in your area.]
Monica: And people will think you own a Porsche because youre wearing the clothes?
Monica: Joey, you know you dont actually have one.
Monica: All right, thats it, were going to the emergency room.
Monica: The babies are asleep, Im sure youll be okay on your own for a while!
Monica: Hes got something plastic lodged in his throat, weve got to go to the hospital.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is being triple teamed.]
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
[Time Lapse, the babies are finally asleep. Good for Phoebe! The only problem is, Monicas apartment looks like a tornado, a hurricane, a swarm of locusts, fire, brimstone, hail, and giant man-eating, radioactive ants have torn the place apart. Needless to say, its messy enough to cause Monica to die of shock right away. Parents with small children know what Im talking about.]
(Monica enters and her jaw drops in horror.)
Monica: Oh my God.
Monica: Phoebe, what, what happened here?!
Monica: But my apartment!
Monica: But the mess!
Monica: Youre right, youre right I shouldnt freak out. Cause this is what will happen when you and I have babies! When will that be?!
Monica: That was you?!
Monica: Thank you soo, much.
Monica: (Angrily.) You can let some of them go by!(Judy and Andrea go to the front of the chapel. Joey approaches Monica.)
Monica: Y'see, this is where you'd use that 'hello' word we talked about.
Rachel: Y'know I dont, I dont understand guys, I mean I-I would never congratulate Monica on a great stew by y'know, grabbin her boob.
MONICA: So, I read this article in the paper the other day that says you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings, because when pigeons eat rice it kills them.
Rachel: Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. (Showing off to Phoebe and Chandler) I'm talking to Rome.
Monica: Can you believe he just offered me a restaurant?
Phoebe: You'd better get back in that kitchen Monica, the garlic is not gonna overuse itself.
Monica: What kind of changes?
Monica: So what did you do today Pete?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is telling Rachel about Petes offer.]
Monica: What?! Oh.(She turns around quickly and falls)
Monica: Oh, please.
Monica: Oh God!
Monica: Don't you just love it?
Rachel: (gasps) Oh, I just remembered. We do have something to eat. Monica put something in our oven this morning.
Monica: What? Honey.
Monica: Oh God, Im so sorry.
Ross: (to Monica) You like it right?
Monica: What-what was it you were gonna tell us?
Monica: Okay. Heres the thing.
MONICA: I can't believe he has a new roommate. Who is this guy?
Monica: Oh?
Monica: Oh, will you do the top of the cabinets? Thatll really work up your appetite for lunch.
Monica: Huh?
Monica: I know, I just thought it would be fun.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is watching the rest of the tape]
Monica: Okay. (hands him a cup)
Monica: Oh, good luck.
All: Good-bye! Good luck! (She opens the door to reveal Monica and Joey.)
Monica: That is sooo not true!
Monica: Im sorry, okay? It justtonight was supposed to be yknow, it was supposed to be a big deal.
Monica: Hey!
Phoebe: Ohh, Monica, I am so excited for you.
Monica: What?
Chandler: Now that you live next door, we can be together every day. Sid and Monica never have to know a thing.
MONICA: You guys haven't gotten your presents yet? Tomorrow's Christmas Eve, what're ya gonna do?
Monica: I know.
Monica: Does it have to do with Joey?
PHOEBE: Monica, how did this happen? I thought you had this all planned out.
Monica: (entering) Ohh, here you are. Yknow, Im-Im glad you decided to hear me out.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Chandler is sleeping on the couch. Monica walks by and starts watching him.]
Monica: I know, hes too charming, but if you two start going out, then its just gonna make it so much harder for me to hate him.
Monica: I justI cant believe that you think that you and Chandler know me and Rachel better than we know you.
Monica: Claws?!
Monica: All right ah, Ross, this is the extent of my knowledge on the subject. (holds up a notepad) Call Rachel.
Monica: Hey, Rach, can I borrow your eyelash curler, I think I lost mine.
MONICA: Not never. I mean, I'm gonna see him tomorrow at my eye appointment.
Monica: Y'know what, dont tell us. Well just wait until Chandler gets home, (to Phoebe) because itll be more fun that way.
Monica: Oh, it is sooo perfect. Thank you so much. (runs over and hugs him)
[Scene: Petes Restaurants Kitchen, Pete is showing Monica around the kitchen.]
Monica: Oh God.
Monica: Pete.
Monica: Did you just smell my hair?
Monica: Okay, bye.
Monica: All right shut up for a second and let me just see something. (She kisses him back on the lips) Oh, wow! (They then hug and kiss, very passionately.)
Monica: Okay, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the isle.
[cut to inside Monica and Rachels]
Monica: Does it involve clogs?
Monica: All right, look, I hate this as much as you, but if it makes you feel better, its all your fault.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is there as Ross enters, walking very confidently.]
Monica: Really? Whos number two?
(They start kissing and turn around so that Chandler is facing the door. And Chandler sees Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey walk in and quickly ends the kiss with Monica.)
Monica: Hi.. how was the game?
Monica: Bye-bye!
Monica: Phoebe?
Monica: Uh-huh.
Phoebe: What?! Monica, Im scared!!
Monica: Okay, wait, you gotta hang up cause were gonna be late.
Monica: Wait, wait, wait! (She puts a Shriner's hat on the turkey.)
Monica: And! We also have speaker phone. (She turns on the speaker phone.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Everyone is sitting around. Monica enters from bathroom.]
Monica: Of course not.
Monica: All right. Honey, thats-thats a sleeve. Okay?
Monica: But, I put some honey in it.
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: (covers her neck) Oh God! (runs to the bathroom)
Monica: Theres our star!
MRS. GREENE: Hi Monica.
Monica: Hi!
Monica: Yeah. Where were you?
Monica: Hey, the mans dog just died.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: Phoebe, wait a minute! (runs after her, leaving Rachel alone)
Phoebe: Oh, okay, yeah. (to Monica) I put your stuff in her room, and her stuff in your room.
Phoebe: Okay, yeah. (to Monica and Rachel) Triple A can pick us up.
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Monica is working, Rachel is having lunch.]
Monica: I'm outa here. [Monica leaves]
Monica: Deal!
MONICA: Why? It's not like I'm putting little nipples on them.
Ross: Monica categorizes her towels. How many categories are there?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is getting ready to go to Joeys premiere and Phoebe is still on hold.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is STILL on hold.]
Monica: Clogs.
Monica: Yes!!
Monica: Joey, you had the night!
Monica: One.
Monica: Oh! (They hug, triumphantly.)
Chandler: 7:15. (Monica looks at him) Watch doesnt work.