words in movies
Monica: (in her apartment, screaming) I LOVE MY NEW JOB!
Monica: YOU BET YOUR ASS I AM! I just had the best first day ever! The kitchen: twice as big as Allessandro's.
Monica: Yeah, a-a-and clean. Not just health department clean... Monica clean.
Monica: Oh, and the people are so nice. There's this one guy, Geoffrey, he's the Maitre D., Chandler, you will love him. He is without a doubt, the funniest guy I have ever met. (Chandler, who was almost asleep again, sits up straight in bed in an instant and can't believe what he just heard.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica sits on the couch and Phoebe is pacing up and down the room.]
Monica: Maybe he didn't give you a chance.
Monica: Oh, well... That had been your window.
Monica: Really? The scientist guy?
Monica: Continue...
Monica: Phoebe!
Monica: Wow, isn't it ironic that David would show up on the same day that you and Mike exchange keys?
Monica: What are you gonna do?
Monica: You have to tell David!
Monica: Heeeeeey!
Chandler: So... Oklahoma is a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner state. Frankly I'd sooner be in any other state. (Monica looks at Phoebe, who also doesn't know what to say.) And what's with Oklahoma having a pan handle? Can all states have stuff like that? Hey yeah, I'm from the waistband, Wyoming. But when I was seven, we headed over to the crotch.
Monica: (Doesn't believe what she's hearing) Was your cabin pressurised?
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Monica: No, it just remind me of something this guy did today at work. I told you about that funny guy, Geoffrey, right?
Monica: Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. (Phoebe bursts out in a laugh)
Chandler: Hey! (Joey doesn't look up, but gestures 'wait a minute' with his finger while he finishes reading the article. Chandler waits for Joey to finish.) I need you to set me up for a joke. Later, when Monica is around, I need you to ask me about fire trucks.
Chandler: Monica says that her Maitre D. is the funniest guy she's ever met.
Chandler: Ye.... (stops because he realises what Joey just said, and stares at him. At this moment Monica enters)
Monica: Hi! There you are.
Joey: (sees Monica) Fire trucks! (Chandlers eyes double in size and he turns to Monica who doesn't understand what's happening. Then he turns back to Joey, who says "you're welcome" without a sound)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica is in the kitchen and Ross enters.]
Monica: Yeah! I think that's great!
Monica: Oh... How are they?
Monica: Yes... What is the end of that sentence?
Joey: Uhm... A penis model. (Monica can't believe what's she's hearing and Ross pats Joey on the back.) Anyway, hey... Did you tell Chandler that some guy from work is the funniest guy you've ever met?
Monica: Yeah, so?
Monica: Is that why he's acting so weird...? He's jealous...? Oh my God, that is crazy. It's not like I'm attracted to Geoffrey...
Monica: I can't believe he's that upset about this...
Joey: Monica, you have to do some damage control here, okay. 'Cause he's feeling like... (the door opens and Chandler walks in with a pizza)
Chandler: You got a man who's a nanny...? You got a manny...? (Monica starts laughing, but very exaggerated. Joey realises they also should laugh and punches Ross. Now all three of them laugh, but very fake. Chandler seems happy again.)
Monica: Ohhh, ooohhh... you are on a roll, mister!
Monica: Okay, okay... Chandler you... you stop it! (Monica wipes away tears)
Monica: Well, I don't know... I-It's... just the way you say it... I mean, you're funny... You have that funny thing. You're a funny guy! (Chandler turns to Joey)
Monica: Honey, listen... You have nothing to worry about with Geoffrey.
Monica: Well, you're... you're different funny... I mean, you're... you're more sarcastic a-a-and... well, he does... bits... and impressions... and... and limericks...
Monica: Honey, you know I think you're hilarious! Come on, you know that joke you told me last week? The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye...? (he laughs) That slayed me.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Joey are sitting at the dinner table. Chandler comes from the bedroom with his suitcase.]
Monica: Honey, you can relax. Last night at work, Geoffrey told this really sexist joke. After that, not so funny anymore.
Monica: Okay, don't miss that flight. You know I love you.
Chandler: I love you too. (Monica and Chandler kiss. He turns to Joey.) And... I like you as a friend. (They hug and pat each other on the back.)
Joey: (to Monica) Did that guy really make that joke?
Monica: Naaaa... He still kills me. Last night he had me laughing so hard, I swear... a little pee came out.
Rachel: (to Monica) What?!
Monica: (reading the sign) Whats pleh?
Monica: You just carry that around?
Monica: Dead leg!! (kicks him in the thigh.)
MONICA: You have dinosaur checks?
Chandler: Joey! Joey! Joey! J-J-Joey-Joey-J-Joey! (Monica hides under the covers as Joey enters. Remember?)
Monica: (to Joey) Whats so funny?
Monica: Oh. (she laughs)
Monica: Ross let me ask you a question. All jokes aside, where is this relationship going?
MONICA: No no. See, in my bedroom I set my clock six minutes fast. You wanna know why?
Chandler: (to Monica) Actually hes the smallest person in the world.
Monica: So, um, how-how did you guys meet?
Monica: I didnt think you could keep it a secret.
Monica: (to Chandler and Joey) I won the game.
Monica: Phoebe, you have to lift it and point.
Monica: I mean really, think about it.
Ross: Monica, let's go. Come on now people, woman in labor.
Monica: (insistently) No, here's your mail.
Monica: (Looking around to check that no-one's listening, then lowering her voice anyway) That's insurance fraud.
(Monica stomps on Paul's watch and goes into her room.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Monica are entering.]
Monica: What? Im just said.
Monica: Hey.
Monica: Uh, yeah.
Monica: Here you go.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Phoebe are counting the invitations as Chandler exits from the bathroom.]
Chandler: Pheebs, can you help me pick out an engagement ring for Monica? I cant figure this out! Its so hard! Should I get her a (turning to each page) Tiffany cut or a Princess cut or aah-ah! Paper cut!
Monica: Thats Bill Clinton.
Monica: Im not gonna go out with him.
Monica: Hows the big anniversary dinner?
Rachel: Oh my God, Monicas gonna go out with a millionaire.
ROSS: No, there is no way he was a velociraptor. No Tony, look at the cranial ridge, OK. If Dino was a velociraptor, he would have eaten the Flintstones. Yeah, yeah. [Monica comes out of her room] Oh, were you takin' a nap?
Monica: Yknow, I never saw that.
MONICA: You're still gonna pay me, right? Or something a little less selfish.
PHOEBE: Yes, I was going to incorporate that. Oh good, here's Monica, she'll have something nice to say.
Monica: Okay. (Does so.) Ow!!!!! Ow-oh-oh!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Dr. Burke are sitting on the couch. He's showing her the pictures in his wallet.]
Monica: What are you doing?
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica, and Joey are there.]
Monica: Seriously, what is this supposed to mean?
Monica: What?!
[Scene: Monica, Fun Bobby, and Phoebe sitting in Central Perk Rachel is serving them. She brings a mug to Monica.]
Monica: I dont know.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Chandler are returning from the game.]
Chandler: You gave them one day's notice, not everyone in our class checks the web site everyday and Monica... it's probably the way you stand!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Rachel are doing Phoebe's makeup.]
Mischa: (to Monica) So I was wondering....
Monica: (Excited) Oh my God, can you believe we are surrounded by all this? I can barely control myself.
Chandler: Stay out of my freezer! [Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are still eating.]
Monica: Six? I just had it for one night. Its three.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard and Monica are in bed.]
Monica: Joey, where are the Jell-o shots?
Monica: Well, if we owe it? (She throws down her cleaning stuff and jumps into his arms.) Oh my When is Joey gonna be home?
Monica: (opening the door) (to Pete) Hey!
Monica: I know!!
Monica: Okay, lets start with the free messages outside the UN.
Monica: Oh, thats sounds great.
Monica: (in the hallway) So, where do you want to go?
Monica: Why, how much is that?
MONICA: Because that's where the party is you goon. See this is just the staging area.
Monica: But Ben is coming over tonight and he cant see this.
Monica: Oh, this is so great.
(Monica enters from their bedroom with a calendar.)
Chandler: Sorry, I just cant sleep. Ooh! (Turns on the light and Monica groans.) Where is that book that you are reading with the two women who were ice-skating and wearing, wearing those hats with the flowers on it? Because every time I look at that cover Im like (Fake snores.)
MONICA: It doesn't go with any of my stuff.
Monica: Two.
Monica: (Start annoying hyper-competitive mode now.) (Jumping up) What don't you just calm down Phoebe! All right?! Why dont you just get all your facts before you run around telling everybody that you're the only hot couple!!
Monica: Drunk enough that I know I wanna do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
Monica and Phoebe: Oh.
Monica: Phoebe why dont you just call her? You obviously want to.
Monica: Its gonna be so great.
Chandler: My boss said I might be getting a new lamp in my cubicle. (Monica looks at him and can't really place what he just said)
Monica: No, no, no, I don't make chocolate pies. When I was younger I-I enter in this pie-eating contest. I ate so many that just the thought of them made me sick.
Monica: Noo! Ill stay. Hes my brother.
Pete: (to Monica, by the door) So ah, we on for tomorrow?
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel is cleaning up and Monica is pleading with her.]
Monica: Im also thinking about opening up my own restaurant.
Monica: I do! Im a professional chef! (The class gasps.) Oh relax! Its not a courtroom drama!
RACH: And ya know what, now I've got closure. [Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him. She smiles. She goes to open the door and can't get the lock undone.] ROSS: Try the bottom one. [She opens the door and they kiss.] [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler answers the door to find Monica.] CLOSING CREDITS CHAN: Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning. We're not working out, it's over. MNCA: No way, with one pound to go, c'mon. We're workin', we're movin', we're in the zone we're groovin'. CHAN: OK, I don't, I don't mind the last pound. OK, in fact I kind of like the last pound. OK, so don't make me do anything that I'll regret. MNCA: Ooh, what'cha gonna do, fat boy, huh? What? CHAN: Nothing, except tell you, uh, I think it's wonderful how much energy you have. MNCA: Well, thanks. CHAN: I mean, especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work. MNCA: Well, you know. CHAN: You know, I mean, you can't tell your parents you were fired because they'd be disappointed. MNCA: [sad] Uh-huh. CHAN: And it's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. MNCA: Well no, but um. CHAN: I mean, if it were me, I think I'd have difficulty just getting out of bed at all. MNCA: Y'know, I try to stay positive. . . CHAN: So, you feel like goin' for a run? MNCA: Alright. CHAN: Because, you know, you don't have to. If you want, you could just take a nap right here. MNCA: OK. Just for a little while. CHAN: OK. [Puts an afghan over her and dances into his room]
Monica: Here. Ben, do you wanna play the airplane game, do you wanna show Rachel? Come here. (takes Ben) Were gonna do something fun. Okay. (throws Ben up in the air a little bit and catches him) Weee!! (moves into the living room and does it again) Weee!! (starts to walk back into the kitchen as she does it again, and hits Bens head on that wooden beam across the ceiling.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are sitting at the table.]
Pete: (to Monica) Hey, can I ask you something?
Monica: Sure.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are discussing what to do about the now naked hooker in the guestroom.]
Monica: Im sorry.
Monica: Its not?
Monica: What if I asked?
Monica: How crazy that wed run into you!
Pete: (to Monica) One second.
Monica: I so wanna be attracted to you.
Monica: Come on! Come on, itll be fun! Itll make me feel so much better.
Paul: Well, ever-ev-... ever since she left me, um, I haven't been able to, uh, perform. (Monica takes a sip of her drink.) ...Sexually.
Monica: Really?
Monica: No.
Phoebe: Yes, and then I realized I'm against that, and uh, so then we bought some, (sees Monica pointing at her chest) uh, boobs.
[Scene: A restaurant in Rome, Monica is paying for the pizza.]
MONICA: Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatos.
(Kathy runs in, hair all out of place, and hugs Monica.)
Monica: Hey, Rach, how was work?
Monica: Something wrong?