words in movies
Chandler: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment]
(Monica is cleaning the table, Chandler is sitting on the sofa. Joey enters.)
Monica: (sarcastically) We?
Monica: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
Monica: Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes?
Monica: Chandler?
Monica: Ok, so there's not a magazine under the couch, or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank, or a filthy video in the VCR?
Monica: It isn't mine!
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Monica: Oh my God, the adoption lady is early!
Monica: Ok.
Monica: We’re waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, I’m glad you’re here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this (she puts a box on the table and opens it). I don’t know if you wanna use it, but…
Monica: I told you! I am not coming to a naked wedding!
Monica: That’s crazy! (Phoebe looks bewildered). I am sorry. I just can’t imagine giving up my one wedding day like that!
Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Monica: Ow! (Chandler slaps her on her back) Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up!
Monica: Yay!
Monica: Why not! This is her wedding day, this is way more important than some stupid kids!
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Monica: Hi, I am Monica and this is Chandler. Please come in.
Monica: Would you like something to drink?
Monica: Ok. Great. I am so glad that you are here. We’re really excited about getting this process started.
Monica: Ah, thank you. This building does have a wholesome family feel to it.
Monica: Is that that couple on the first floor? Because we should get a baby before them. Yeah! That guy tried to sell me drugs. (Laura looks shocked)
Monica: Really? What is it?
Monica: Ohh... that wouldn't by any chance be... Joey Tribbiani?
Monica and Chandler: OH GOD NO! Nope, no, no, no. No! No, no. Nope! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. NO! (finally Monica concludes) No!
Monica: Keep on roaming Bert! We don't want any crazy today!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other.
Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there!
(She starts checking her form. Chandler sees movement near the window from the corner of his eye and when he looks he spots Joey climbing up the fire escape and onto their balcony. He warns Monica silently.)
Monica: (Pulls Laura into the spare room) Why don't I show you the baby's room?
(Monica talks loudly in the baby's room)
Monica: So that was the baby's room. (They come out and Chandler throws Joey behind the couch and puts his foot on him. Monica looks at Chandler)
Monica: (To Chandler) What room should we see next?
Monica: (laughs nervously as well, Laura looks confused) (To Laura) Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny! (She takes Laura to their own bedroom).
(He picks up his bat and holds it up, but then Monica and Laura enter the living room again. When Laura sees Joey, she freezes...)
Laura: (embarrassed towards Chandler and Monica) Well, I'm pretty sure I gave you my number.
Monica: Yeah, that we totally understand. Dating is hard.
(Chandler and Monica hug each other, and then Joey enters the apartment again.)
Monica: Hello...? Oh hi... Oh my God...! Really...? I can't wait to tell Chandler... Ok, goodbye. (hangs up)
Monica: It was Laura... She gave us a great report and we are officially on the waiting list.
Monica: Now we just have to wait for a call and... and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us. Oh...
(Chandler and Monica hug and after a while the telephone rings again... Monica's eyes get bigger. Chandler answers.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are babysitting Ben.]
(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)
Chandler: Oh, the duck seems to think that Monica got me garbage! Hmm, I wonder what I could get Monica thats as good as garbage?
Monica: Okay, well I do know you.
Monica: Well so?
Rachel: Oh my you think Im a pushover. Well wait, watch this, you know what? Youre not invited to lunch. What do you think of that? I think thats pretty strong, thats what I think. Come on, Monica, lets go to lunch. (She leaves)
Monica: Well, dont cha wanna?
Monica: Yeah! I mean it was really funny, I-I just don't think you got it. You see Kara's coffee is-is-is weak tasting, okay? But-but what Doug was-was imply that it was weak physically. You get it now honey?
Monica: Well you did a little bit.
MONICA: And some of us really have to pee.
Monica: Rachel, the cute doctors are here.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross has just finished putting Ben to sleep, and is entering from Rachels room.]
Monica: (entering) Hi!
Monica: Uh-huh.
Monica: You know, if you just wait another... six and a half minutes...
JOEY: [pulls out a VCR tape] Hey Monica, what's on this video tape?
Monica: What?
Monica: Yeah, uh, it's actually not that big a deal.
VAN DAMME: [to Rachel] I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and me, [to Monica] or you and me. Drew was very disappointed.
Monica: Monica and I just crashed an embassy party.
Monica: Y'know, I-I-I don't think that I can. So if you don't mind, maybe this will be it for me on the work things.
Monica: Ow!
MONICA: I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves [pulls Rachel's gloves out of her purse]
Rachel: Oh, oh, and hey-hey-hey, those little spelling tips will come in handy when youre at home on Saturday nights playing Scrabble with Monica!!
Chandler: Hello Phoebe, I've been thinking about you all day. (He's holding the phone so that Monica can hear it as well.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Monica, and Joey are watching TV.]
Monica: I-I already told him everything! (Threateningly) You shush!!
Monica: Wed love too.
Monica: Sorry, Pheebs.
(Monica gets up and shuts off the TV.)
Monica: Yes! Yes! And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby, because youre the most important person in this room. And in the world!
Monica: Hoyt?
Monica: Wheres that?
Monica: Hold on.
Monica: Oh, no thanks.
Monica: How are we gonna get home? Maybe a piggy-back ride?
MONICA: So on this road trip, did you guys win any money?
Ross: Thats right good things, that-that is what I said. (glances at Monica)
MONICA: [She grabs the coffee cup on the table and licks the rim.] There you go, enjoy your coffee.
(Monica runs into the living room, and starts dialing the phone)
Monica: No.
Monica: Wow! Its small.
Monica: So you had fun, huh?
Phoebe and Monica: Hey.
Monica: I highly doubt that. (they both go to the bathroom)
Monica: If it is a new message, what is he calling to say?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Mr. and Mrs. Geller are watching tennis on TV, Monica is sitting at the table]
Monica: Does it have to do with-with Chandler and that sock that he keeps by his bed?
MONICA: Sorry Joey [runs to the bathroom]
Phoebe: Oh, hi, Mrs. Waltham. I need to speak with ether one of the best men, or Rosss sister Monica.
MONICA: No I didn't, I said kiwi lime. That's what makes it so special.
Monica: No, I called him. It's not gonna happen.
Monica: Yeah! And I got it on sale, too.
Rachel: Well, I dont know. I called all the people in Monicas phone book and these are the only ones who could show up on 24 hours notice.
Monica: Rachel, what are you doing? Its freezing out here. Would you come back inside?
[Cut to Monica and Rachels as Ross walks through the door. Rachel is holding the chrome star and crying.]
Monica: Umm, when I said that uh, that Chandler and I wanted to umm, live together we meant alone together.
Monica: Okay, is this like 'I have an early class tomorrow' or 'I'm secretly married to a goat?'
Monica: Honey, umm I-I love you, (laughs) but umm, if you call our wedding a party one more time, you may not get invited. Okay? (Laughs) Listen, we could always earn more money, okay? But uh, were only gonna get married once.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is next to the bay window again, Mark has left.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is finishing off the last of the jam]
[Scene: The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross and Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.)
Monica: Hey.
[Scene: Monicas bedroom, Chandler is playing with the bed.]
Monica: Oh no!!
Monica: Ohhh, nice.
Monica: Rachel, you and Mark?!
(Monica walks in, starts to go out on the balcony.)
Monica: What?!
Rachel: Okay Monica, what are you doing? You're gonna lose your job! This is not you!
Monica: Please!!
Chandler: (entering from the bedroom wearing a big, pink bunny costume) Monica! Can I talk to you for a second? Listen, I appreciate you getting me the costume
Monica: Hey.
Monica: Oh, good. Thanks.
Monica: Oh, theres banana on it.
Monica: I know!!
Monica: Yes! Have you seen it?
Monica: Oh, well sure. This gotta be so hard. I'll do it. Gimme!
Monica: (to Phoebe) Look at you. All jealous.
[Scene: In Phoebes Grandmothers cab, driving up to the cabin. Phoebes driving, Rachels sitting shotgun, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are in the back seat.]
Monica: Did that!
[Scene: The Arena, after the fight. Monica is walking up to a defeated Pete.]
Phoebe: Okay, Monicas are the biggest.
MONICA: You've got to get back out there, it's your party.
Monica: To score the winning touchdown, by the way.
Monica: Well then, y'know what? I care about you to much to watch you hurt yourself like this. So if you have to do this, then youre gonna have to do it without me.
Monica: Ow!
Monica: Its okay, its okay.
Monica: Ow!! Ow!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is showing Monica where Sergeis country is.]
Monica: We were just waxing our legs.
Monica: Thats right.
Monica: What?
Monica: Oh my God.
Monica: All right then, your bra would still be big.
Monica: Chandler!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is there as Joey enters.]
Chandler: No! (Calls) Danielle, hi! It's, uh, it's Chandler! (Listens) I'm fine. Uh, listen, I don't know if you tried to call me, because, uh, idiot that I am, I accidentally shut off my phone. (Listens) Oh, uh, okay, that's fine, that's great. (Listens) Okay. (Puts down the phone.) (to Monica) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back. (He starts doing a little jig.) She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back, she's on the other line, gonna call me back...
Monica: I think it's a great idea. Yeah, we could have a dinner party and just invite her close friends.
[Scene: Monicas Bedroom, Monica and Phoebe are removing the rest of their wax strips.]