words in movies
Chandler: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment]
(Monica is cleaning the table, Chandler is sitting on the sofa. Joey enters.)
Monica: (sarcastically) We?
Monica: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
Monica: Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes?
Monica: Chandler?
Monica: Ok, so there's not a magazine under the couch, or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank, or a filthy video in the VCR?
Monica: It isn't mine!
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Monica: Oh my God, the adoption lady is early!
Monica: Ok.
Monica: We’re waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, I’m glad you’re here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this (she puts a box on the table and opens it). I don’t know if you wanna use it, but…
Monica: I told you! I am not coming to a naked wedding!
Monica: That’s crazy! (Phoebe looks bewildered). I am sorry. I just can’t imagine giving up my one wedding day like that!
Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Monica: Ow! (Chandler slaps her on her back) Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up!
Monica: Yay!
Monica: Why not! This is her wedding day, this is way more important than some stupid kids!
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Monica: Hi, I am Monica and this is Chandler. Please come in.
Monica: Would you like something to drink?
Monica: Ok. Great. I am so glad that you are here. We’re really excited about getting this process started.
Monica: Ah, thank you. This building does have a wholesome family feel to it.
Monica: Is that that couple on the first floor? Because we should get a baby before them. Yeah! That guy tried to sell me drugs. (Laura looks shocked)
Monica: Really? What is it?
Monica: Ohh... that wouldn't by any chance be... Joey Tribbiani?
Monica and Chandler: OH GOD NO! Nope, no, no, no. No! No, no. Nope! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. NO! (finally Monica concludes) No!
Monica: Keep on roaming Bert! We don't want any crazy today!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other.
Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there!
(She starts checking her form. Chandler sees movement near the window from the corner of his eye and when he looks he spots Joey climbing up the fire escape and onto their balcony. He warns Monica silently.)
Monica: (Pulls Laura into the spare room) Why don't I show you the baby's room?
(Monica talks loudly in the baby's room)
Monica: So that was the baby's room. (They come out and Chandler throws Joey behind the couch and puts his foot on him. Monica looks at Chandler)
Monica: (To Chandler) What room should we see next?
Monica: (laughs nervously as well, Laura looks confused) (To Laura) Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny! (She takes Laura to their own bedroom).
(He picks up his bat and holds it up, but then Monica and Laura enter the living room again. When Laura sees Joey, she freezes...)
Laura: (embarrassed towards Chandler and Monica) Well, I'm pretty sure I gave you my number.
Monica: Yeah, that we totally understand. Dating is hard.
(Chandler and Monica hug each other, and then Joey enters the apartment again.)
Monica: Hello...? Oh hi... Oh my God...! Really...? I can't wait to tell Chandler... Ok, goodbye. (hangs up)
Monica: It was Laura... She gave us a great report and we are officially on the waiting list.
Monica: Now we just have to wait for a call and... and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us. Oh...
(Chandler and Monica hug and after a while the telephone rings again... Monica's eyes get bigger. Chandler answers.)
Monica: No, sorry sweety..
Monica: No, sorry.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are there.]
Monica: Ross, cough drops, please?
Monica: What? So you guys don't mind going out with someone else who's going out with someone else?
Monica: Okay, I have to get that. Now when I get back, I want you and your friends to be gone. Thanksgiving is over. The Vein has spoken.
Monica: Yeah! But, he can't not exactly see Emily, I mean that's his wife.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are there. Chandler enters.]
(Monica is drinking from the tap)
Monica: (entering) Phoebe? (Phoebe comes back into the living room) Oh, Phoebe, I'm so sorry. Have you been here long?
Joey: Please dont kick Monica and Rachel out, this wasnt there fault, it was mine.
Monica: Well, you're not working either.
Monica: I don't know.
Monica: Yeah, that'd be great! Thank you!
Chip: Amy Welch? Wow! I havent seen her since... So, Monica about ready?
[Monica enters]
Monica: Hey!
[Scene: The ladies' bathroom at the restaurant, Monica and Angela are talking.]
Monica: Okay.
Monica: No, that's not mine.
Monica: No. I hate this part.
Monica: Hey, don't say that! You got just as good a chance as anybody else of getting that job!
Monica: Um, and, well there's the.. the the small matter of...
Chandler, Monica, and Joey: Hey!!
Joey: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
(Monica takes of her walkman)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Brenda is sweeping and Monica is sitting at the kitchen table.]
Monica: Phoebe, she sounded pretty upset to me.
Monica: What?
Ross: Monica, come on now. Let's go, baby coming.
Monica: Okay. So what do you.... you think she's faking?
Monica: Deal!
Monica: Doing great, the quiches are coming along.
Monica: Rachel, I have not missed one question the whole game. I own this game! Look at my hand. (Holds up her hand.)
Monica: What one? You wanted him to invite you to the party and he did it!
Monica: I'm gonna leave some cards here. Please think of us for you next event.
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Monica: Can you go any faster with that?
MONICA: Woo-hoo, stuud!
Monica: Well, what do you think of Mike and Chandler being in a car accident?
Monica: It's so good, isn't it?
Monica: Oh, that's great! Congratulations!
Monica: Um, okay, here it goes. I'm not 22. I'm, I'm 25... and thirteen months.
Joey: Oh, man, she loved it! She's over there showing Monica and Rachel right now.
Monica: Sixty guests.
Monica: I was trying to help out a squirrel.
Monica: No?
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Monica: Hi. Uh, you... you don't know me, I'm Monica Geller... Ross's sister.
Monica: No! Steady as a rock! Now, are you with me.
Monica: Oh, I know, I never wear fake ones. I just did it so my Mom wouldnt give me grief about me biting them.
Monica: Ours is so much better! This living room is smaller, the dining room looks like a cave! What a hole!
Monica and Ross: Scuse us
Monica: What the hell is this? (holding up the check)
Monica: Oh man! I did it again!
Monica: Yeah!
(She throws the paper at him, misses and hits Monicas door, they all jump back at the sound.)
Monica: Of course not. I mean gosh, Chandler what you did, it's, it's a wonderful thing and I really appreciate it. I know I have this weird thing where I want everything to be in the perfect place, but I'd never expect you to worry about that.
Monica: Come on!
Monica: Jeffery.
Ross: Oh, is it? Is it? Look, when Monica and I were kids, we had a dog named Rover. And, uh, one day, my dad decides, he doesn't like dogs. So Monica and her friend Phyllis take away the dog. And that was the last time we ever saw him. Don't you see? This is just like that. Only with a few details changed.
[Monica enters carrying food that's been delivered]
Rachel: (to Monica and Phoebe) Oh my God, you guys, what am I doing? What am I doing? This is so un-me!
Joey: Hey-hey dancer girl! Can I go to the bathroom? I just.. (The girl starts dancing really close to him, so he picks her up, twirls her round, and puts her against a platform) Here we go. (He walks away to find Monica and Ross doing a really out of place dance) Looking good Gellers!
MONICA: I'm at work, ordinary day, you know, chop chop chop, sauti, sauti, sauti. All of a sudden, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office. It turns out they fired the head lunch chef, and guess who got the job.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to take some aspirin.]
Monica: Phoebe, Ross sucks!
Monica: Oh, what a great argument, exhaling! All right, y'know what, Ill prove it to you, okay. Ill trade you Joey for Rachel, and Ill still win the game.
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
Monica: Okay. Umm, Phoebe, you suck too.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Hey, arent you up next?
(Rachel and Monica look at each other, and agree on something without saying anything.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, The entire gang is there.]
Monica: Are you serious?
Monica: I remember you did.
Ross: Correct. In what part of her body did Monica get a pencil stuck at age 14?
Monica: (removing ear plugs) What?
Monica: All right, eight we get married, but 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 11, 12 we dont get married.
Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was what? A wrong number?
Monica: All right, big brother. (holds up two erm revealing articles of clothing) Which of these do you think would make your little sister look hotter, so your best friend would want to do her?
Pete: Yeah. Monica, I want you there in the front row when I win. I want you close enough to smell the blood. What do you think?
Monica: (joining him and taking the taco shells) You know that? You don't want to spoil your appetite.
Monica: Yes!!
Monica: Bye! (to Chandler) Ten bucks says, I never see that woman again in my life.
Monica: Hes not boring! Hes just-hes just low key.
Chandler: Okay. (to Monica) Its a racecar.
Monica: Oh my God! You still have the Chipper!
Monica: Hey, how did it go with Mike, is he gonna let you keep the painting?
[Cut to Monica and Rachels apartment as Rachel returns in tears.]
Monica: I hadn't! Photo 152 was a prototype.
Monica: We havent eaten yet!
(Monica looks at Rachel, who gives her the thumbs up.)
[Scene: The Gellers Kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are still cooking.]
Monica: You look great too.
Monica: So how does it look?
MONICA: Then I won't have to kill you.
Monica: No way!
Monica: (disappointed) Oh.
Monica: (happy) Oh.
Monica: I know.