words in movies
Chandler: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment]
(Monica is cleaning the table, Chandler is sitting on the sofa. Joey enters.)
Monica: (sarcastically) We?
Monica: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
Monica: Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes?
Monica: Chandler?
Monica: Ok, so there's not a magazine under the couch, or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank, or a filthy video in the VCR?
Monica: It isn't mine!
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Monica: Oh my God, the adoption lady is early!
Monica: Ok.
Monica: We’re waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, I’m glad you’re here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this (she puts a box on the table and opens it). I don’t know if you wanna use it, but…
Monica: I told you! I am not coming to a naked wedding!
Monica: That’s crazy! (Phoebe looks bewildered). I am sorry. I just can’t imagine giving up my one wedding day like that!
Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Monica: Ow! (Chandler slaps her on her back) Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up!
Monica: Yay!
Monica: Why not! This is her wedding day, this is way more important than some stupid kids!
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Monica: Hi, I am Monica and this is Chandler. Please come in.
Monica: Would you like something to drink?
Monica: Ok. Great. I am so glad that you are here. We’re really excited about getting this process started.
Monica: Ah, thank you. This building does have a wholesome family feel to it.
Monica: Is that that couple on the first floor? Because we should get a baby before them. Yeah! That guy tried to sell me drugs. (Laura looks shocked)
Monica: Really? What is it?
Monica: Ohh... that wouldn't by any chance be... Joey Tribbiani?
Monica and Chandler: OH GOD NO! Nope, no, no, no. No! No, no. Nope! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. NO! (finally Monica concludes) No!
Monica: Keep on roaming Bert! We don't want any crazy today!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other.
Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there!
(She starts checking her form. Chandler sees movement near the window from the corner of his eye and when he looks he spots Joey climbing up the fire escape and onto their balcony. He warns Monica silently.)
Monica: (Pulls Laura into the spare room) Why don't I show you the baby's room?
(Monica talks loudly in the baby's room)
Monica: So that was the baby's room. (They come out and Chandler throws Joey behind the couch and puts his foot on him. Monica looks at Chandler)
Monica: (To Chandler) What room should we see next?
Monica: (laughs nervously as well, Laura looks confused) (To Laura) Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny! (She takes Laura to their own bedroom).
(He picks up his bat and holds it up, but then Monica and Laura enter the living room again. When Laura sees Joey, she freezes...)
Laura: (embarrassed towards Chandler and Monica) Well, I'm pretty sure I gave you my number.
Monica: Yeah, that we totally understand. Dating is hard.
(Chandler and Monica hug each other, and then Joey enters the apartment again.)
Monica: Hello...? Oh hi... Oh my God...! Really...? I can't wait to tell Chandler... Ok, goodbye. (hangs up)
Monica: It was Laura... She gave us a great report and we are officially on the waiting list.
Monica: Now we just have to wait for a call and... and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us. Oh...
(Chandler and Monica hug and after a while the telephone rings again... Monica's eyes get bigger. Chandler answers.)
Chip: So ah, Monica ready yet?
The Museum Official: (on machine) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller.
Phoebe: Yeah, but Monica, do you actually want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase, "Thats not how your dad used to do it."
Monica: Okay, but all right youre a guy, does it not freak you that youre never gonna sleep with anybody else?
MONICA: Yeah, we switched meat suppliers at work, and the new guys gave me the steaks as sort of a thank-you.
Monica: Is that all?
Monica: (pointing at the drawing, upset) Bye... bye... BIRDIE.
Monica: Ohh, how is he?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is there but Rachel.]
(Tank carries Pete over to the other side of the ring, and we see both Ross and Monica wince in pain.)
Monica: I do?
MONICA: Thank you. This is my friend Phoebe. She's gonna be helping me tonight.
Monica: Thanks, Im set. Do you still live with your parents?
Monica: I know!
Monica: (entering) Oh my God! What happened?
Rachel: (to Monica) So, how was your date?
Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Rachel: Thats a good call. Right.
Monica: No!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel are eating breakfast.]
Phoebe: We've got the ground-up flesh of formerly cute cows and turkeys, ew... (hands meat to Monica)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey enters, upset.]
Monica: I knew that! Rachel! Use youre head!
Monica: Let me ask you a question.
Monica: Oh yeah, she didnt hire me out of pity, it wasnt so she could pick on me in front of her friends, she actually thinks Im good.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the game is about to begin.]
Monica: Yeah, I thought it was cute.
Monica: Why did you hire me?
Monica: Well, well Ross didnt care enough to be here, so I think hes out. You snooze you lose.
Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, and Rachel: Oh yeah, I totally agree.
Monica: What?
Monica: I dont want things to change! Do you?
(Phoebe and Monica both stand up and gasp.)
Monica: And that's Pete's Mom.
MONICA: I'm a twinkie.
Monica: Frozen lasagnas?
Monica: Then why are you laughing?
MONICA: Do you want me to cry? Is that what you want? Do you wanna see me cry?
Monica: You guys, Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband.
Monica: You promised Dr. Weinburg, youd never use that phrase.
Monica: Oh my God! Thats Pete! But why is Bill huggin Pete?
[cut to Monica telling the gang about what happened at Petes]
Phoebe: (to Monica) Then why are you answering? Do you at least know what route were on?
Erica: Yeah... it's almost definitely him. (Monica and Chandler look confused now)
Monica: No honey, Im sorry, but the weekends not over yet.
MONICA: This is so wild. Ya know, I gotta admit, I was kinda surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross, Monica, and Rachel are sitting around after the party. Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter.]
Monica: Isnt he an architect now?
Monica: You better believe he's tired, after the day we had! If you know what I mean. You know what I mean?
Monica: Hi.
Monica: I missed this apartment! Now, this is a grown-ups apartment! Yknow, I-I should be with a grown-up, do you know what I mean?!
Monica: What?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica is cleaning up, Chandler is sitting on the couch, checking the Job offers in a Newspaper.]
Ross: Monica, uh Dad called this morning and ah, Aunt Silvia passed away.
Rachel: Oh wow. Why dont we just take me (Grabs her pin) and put me with a Manhattan in my hand, talking to the cute bartender. (Puts her pin at the bar and laughs. Monica just glares at her.) These pins arent for playing are they?
Monica: That was not an incident! I-I was gesturing, a-and the plate slipped out of my hand.
Monica: Well, because we want to get to know her better and she's never been to New York so she wants to see all the tourists' spots... you know, Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building...
Monica: I cant live like this! What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?
Ross: Monica and I have a grandmother who died, you both went to her funeral, name that grandmother!
Phoebe: (turning around, insistently) Monica!
Monica: Well?
Monica: Really?!
Monica: And you?
Monica: Yes!!
Monica: Wow!
Monica: I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish, but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off me.
Monica: (chuckles) Hmm, well you're around me all the time and you don't flirt.
Monica: Rachel!
Monica: Third door on the left.
Monica: No fair. I don't even have one. How come they get two?
Fat Monica: Hi, I'm Ross's little sister.
Monica: Well, at least youre not hearing it for the first time at your fifth grade Halloween party.
(Ross spots Chandler and starts chasing him around the kitchen table. Chandler runs and hides behind Monica.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the phone, Chandler and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Ross is in the kitchen as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Monica: So do them for free.
Monica: Whats the matter?
Monica: Now? Is it okay if I go out with Chip Matthews?
Monica: I told you not to go down there!
(Joey slides a plate away from Monica towards Chandler, who hides it under the table.)
Monica: (Entering from her bedroom) How desperate am I?
MONICA: No, I don't even know how serious he is about me. Until I do, I'm not telling them anything.
Monica: His dancing partner?!
Monica: (sets down some cards) Gin.
Monica: Wait, now so you joined the gym?
Monica: Good? Didn�t you hear them...I was great! Thank you so much for making me do this. That�s is the best gift ever.
(He exits leaving a stunned Phoebe and Monica.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Chandler, Joey, and Monica admiring their new table.]
Chandler: Monica, I think you've gone over to the bad place.
Rachel: (to Monica) I mean is that woman capable of talking about anything else but sex?
Monica: They baked it. I cant take this anymore. Im gonna call a meeting tonight, Im gonna fire you tonight.
Monica: Yes you did! You did like a little hop.
[Cut to the Men's room. Chandler is practicing flashing his badge as Monica enters.]
Monica: Its like two miles!
Phoebe: Well, who cares what your Mom thinks? So you pulled a Monica.
Monica: Oh my Gosh!
[Scene: Central Perk, the next morning. Chandler, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are there.]
Monica: Just be yourself. But, not too much.
Monica: Okay, look, I-I have enough stuff for one more sandwich, I mean I was going to eat it myself, but (motions that he can have it.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe and Rachel are in the kitchen as there is a knock on the door. Rachel answers it.]
Monica: Rach, try holding her a different way.
MONICA: Did you know I was allergic to shellfish?