words in movies
Chandler: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment]
(Monica is cleaning the table, Chandler is sitting on the sofa. Joey enters.)
Monica: (sarcastically) We?
Monica: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
Monica: Ok, so I think I'm just about done here, unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like... porn or cigarettes?
Monica: Chandler?
Monica: Ok, so there's not a magazine under the couch, or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank, or a filthy video in the VCR?
Monica: It isn't mine!
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Monica: Oh my God, the adoption lady is early!
Monica: Ok.
Monica: We’re waiting for the adoption lady, but, hey, I’m glad you’re here. I was cleaning this morning and I found this (she puts a box on the table and opens it). I don’t know if you wanna use it, but…
Monica: I told you! I am not coming to a naked wedding!
Monica: That’s crazy! (Phoebe looks bewildered). I am sorry. I just can’t imagine giving up my one wedding day like that!
Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Monica: Ow! (Chandler slaps her on her back) Oh, that sounds nice! I am just there for jury duty. They really spruce that place up!
Monica: Yay!
Monica: Why not! This is her wedding day, this is way more important than some stupid kids!
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Somebody knocks the door]
Monica: Hi, I am Monica and this is Chandler. Please come in.
Monica: Would you like something to drink?
Monica: Ok. Great. I am so glad that you are here. We’re really excited about getting this process started.
Monica: Ah, thank you. This building does have a wholesome family feel to it.
Monica: Is that that couple on the first floor? Because we should get a baby before them. Yeah! That guy tried to sell me drugs. (Laura looks shocked)
Monica: Really? What is it?
Monica: Ohh... that wouldn't by any chance be... Joey Tribbiani?
Monica and Chandler: OH GOD NO! Nope, no, no, no. No! No, no. Nope! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. NO! (finally Monica concludes) No!
Monica: Keep on roaming Bert! We don't want any crazy today!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. They are preparing to show Laura around. Laura is standing with her back to the window, Chandler and Monica are standing on either side of her, facing each other.
Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there!
(She starts checking her form. Chandler sees movement near the window from the corner of his eye and when he looks he spots Joey climbing up the fire escape and onto their balcony. He warns Monica silently.)
Monica: (Pulls Laura into the spare room) Why don't I show you the baby's room?
(Monica talks loudly in the baby's room)
Monica: So that was the baby's room. (They come out and Chandler throws Joey behind the couch and puts his foot on him. Monica looks at Chandler)
Monica: (To Chandler) What room should we see next?
Monica: (laughs nervously as well, Laura looks confused) (To Laura) Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny! (She takes Laura to their own bedroom).
(He picks up his bat and holds it up, but then Monica and Laura enter the living room again. When Laura sees Joey, she freezes...)
Laura: (embarrassed towards Chandler and Monica) Well, I'm pretty sure I gave you my number.
Monica: Yeah, that we totally understand. Dating is hard.
(Chandler and Monica hug each other, and then Joey enters the apartment again.)
Monica: Hello...? Oh hi... Oh my God...! Really...? I can't wait to tell Chandler... Ok, goodbye. (hangs up)
Monica: It was Laura... She gave us a great report and we are officially on the waiting list.
Monica: Now we just have to wait for a call and... and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us. Oh...
(Chandler and Monica hug and after a while the telephone rings again... Monica's eyes get bigger. Chandler answers.)
(We hear the guys start to attack him, but the guy manages to calm them down and gets them to agree to what he did. Monica throws up her hands in disgust.)
Rachel: I did!! I watched! I watched! I watched Monica bang his head against that thing!
[Scene: Their Building, Monica and Rachel are going to apologize to Danny. Rachel knocks on his door, which he opens and he has this really bushy beard and long hair. Picture Paul Bunyan.]
Monica (as Rachel): ..well, why don't you tell them? After all it, is your ankle.
MONICA: No, no, not a party. Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. Um, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is writing a letter by the bay window as Rachel enters.]
MONICA: Wow, all you need now is The Killing Fields and some guacamole and you've got yourself a part-ay.
Joey: No, I'm not questioning it, I'm saying it's stupid! (Notices Monica standing between them and smiling.) What?! (The camera clicks, taking another picture.)
Monica: Honey, theres a reason.
Monica: No! Im not okay!
Monica: Oh, well, I bought Chandler a five hundred dollar watch and he wrote me a rap song.
Monica: Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence I'd never thought I'd say.
Monica: Break!
Monica: All right, Phoebe get open. Rachel, go long.
Monica: Ow!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are eating Thanksgiving dinner.]
Monica: Let go!
Monica: No!
Monica: Let go!
Monica: And Rachel. (Chandler clears his voice loudly) And thats Chandler.
Monica: Hi Chandler. It's really nice to see you (rolls her eyes) NOT. (she and Rachel giggle a little and Chandler looks unimpressed)
Monica: Let me think. Oh, when I was younger I used to dream that I got married to Mayor McCheese, and on our wedding night I ate his head.
Monica: I'm so sorry, I can't believe I did this, but I couldn't stop laughing at your Norman Mailer story.
Monica: (entering) Did I miss it? (Phoebe nods no.) Rachel, I-I want you to know that, if its positive, were gonna
Monica: (entering) Ross (who has his foot on the coffee table), foot on the floor or come over no more!
MONICA: What if they get mixed up?
[Scene: The 50's theme cafe. Monica is working the grill, the rest are at a table.]
Monica: Well, no, not at all, you're not terminal, you just, you just need some damage control.
Ross: Hey-hey, its valid okay? And Im not the only one who thinks so, Monica agrees with me.
Monica: Very bad.
Monica: Chandler!!
Monica: No.
Monica: Dont, dont, dont, dont, dont do this.
Monica: Did he just say Monica bang?
Monica: (laughs) Yknow what? I-I dont want a big, fancy wedding.
MONICA: And then he told me he would run away with me, and he didn't. [throws water in his face]
Monica: Wha... How the hell is that gonna help?
Monica: What?
Monica: Youre right, Im sorry. Its not like youre yknow, going out with an ex-girlfriend.
Monica: Oh, is that so? Ok. If that's really what you want, then here... I give you the headset. Well, I don't really want to give you the headset. Well I guess if you're taking over, you should probably return these messages. (hands her a stack of papers with messages and calls to return)
Monica: I heard that!
Chandler: Our balcony? Seriously? That's so funny because I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony. And she said"No, no. It's too cold, nobody will go out there." And I said "Maybe if we put some light out there they will"
Monica: If you would stop thinking about Ross for one minute you would notice that there are great guys everywhere! I mean, look! Look, Gunther! (Gunther turns to listen in.) I mean, he's nice, he's cute.
Monica: Well yknow, Im just-Im just worried that bosses will see them and think they pay you too much money. Or! Or your assistant will see them and-and want a raise!
Monica: Werent you nine?!
Monica: Christmas cookie?
Monica: (very emotional) Because... We may not be who she thinks we are but no-one will ever love that baby more than us.
Monica: Is this the one that I threw out last year?
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
[Sequence 2: Monica runs upfield and stops, waiting for a pass. Ross runs over and pulls her pants down, steps in front of her and intercepts the pass.]
Monica: Whew. Although yknow, this is part of a salt and pepper set. I mean I guess yknow it may just count as a half a present. What do you think?
Monica: (she reaches out for it and stops) Oh God! I gotta go! (runs out)
Rachel: (surprised by how ugly it is) Wow! (sarcastic) Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly? (looks around for a spot)
Monica: It's because I'm scrappy.
Monica: Do you see this? (Mimics him drooling over a womans breasts.)
Monica: Um-mm.
Monica: Honey, whats the matter?
MONICA: You know what. Tomorrow I'm gonna do your clocks.
Monica: Ah-ah-ah, now you started this, you will finish it.
Monica: Its Joeys birthday.
Monica: I know honey, Im sorry.
Monica: Okay, we'll start with the building. You guys take the first and second floor, Phoebe and I'll take third and fourth.
Monica: So, you think you'll do it on his couch?
Gunther: (to Monica and Phoebe) Hey guys.
Monica: Oh my!!
Chandler: (to Monica) Take off your shirt!
Monica: (to Chandler) Stick out your tongue.
(Cut to Ross and Monica)
Monica: Hi.
Monica: Isnt that great?
Monica: Hang on a second I just got in.
Ross: It's a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this.
Monica: What is the worse part?
Monica: Thats okay.
MONICA: Two? TWO? How is that possible? I mean, have you seen you?
Monica: That was me.
Monica: Y'know which one was she again?
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, Monica is watching the Civil War videos]
Monica: Oh my God!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Ross, and Rachel are there.]
(Monica is sarcastically amazed.)
Monica: Yay!
Monica: Oh, that is amazing!
Monica: What?
Monica: Are you crazy?!
Monica: Then get over yourself! Grow up!
Monica: Yeah, Ive had them picked out since I was fourteen.
Monica: Is it something youd be interested in?
Chandler: Because uh we-we we split up. Monica and I split up. Hold me.
Monica: Yeah, I do know.
MONICA: OK, wait, wait, wait, wait. You know what? Ross, let's - let's switch places. You get in the middle. No un-, ya know, unless this looks like we're trying to cover something up.
Monica: So ah, Phoebe, how was your date?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her first day.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is cooking and Rachel is getting ready for a date with Joshua.]
Mrs. Geller: Not that old crow, my mother. (They stop and she kisses Monica on the cheek.) Congratulations darling.
Monica: Just out. Had some lunch, just me, little quality time with me. Thanks for your jacket.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is outside the bathroom yelling at Ross who's in the bathroom.]
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
Monica: Please, I'm not going for anything.