words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk. Monica and Chandler enter, the others are sitting on the couch.]
Monica: Hey guys!
Monica: We need to talk to you about something.
Ross: (skeptical) That doesn't sound like you... That's Monica talking!
Monica: No, it's not!
Monica: Thank you, Pheebs!
Monica: What? You are way off, lady!
Monica: That's my favourite kind! Okay, we are doing this!
Monica: Hey, stay out of this, Chandler! This is between me... and ME!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Monica are in there, and Phoebe enters]
Monica: You guys, I ordered some chocolate pies from that bakery on Bleecker. Could you pick them up for me?
Monica: No, no, no, I don't make chocolate pies. When I was younger I-I enter in this pie-eating contest. I ate so many that just the thought of them made me sick.
Monica: 2 minutes, 12 pies and a part of one tin! Okay, I see you guys at 4.
Monica: This dinner is gonna be so great! In your face, last year "me"!
(Monica leaves)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler is watching TV and Monica is cooking]
Monica: (Chandler's laughing) Did someone drop the baton again?
Monica: (she tastes what she has cooked) I don't get older. I just get better!
Monica: You don't know that.
Monica: Yeah, but we haven't heard a thing from the adoption agency and it has been weeks!
Monica: Name one of his books.
Monica: Ok, let's see... uhm, okay, the turkey is in the oven, the stuffing is ready...
Monica: Oh, Chandler, that's sweet. But you don't have to do everything Doctor Phil tells you to do.
Monica: Ok, let's see... Oh, the cranberry sauce, it is easy to make and no-one really cares about it.
Monica: Okay, I'm gonna go check on something across the hall. You start by washing these (she gives Chandler a bowl with cranberries. Then, while she's going outside, she sees him with a bottle of soap in his hands) Not with soap!! (she leaves)
Chandler: Look, Monica has been working hard all day, she didn't wanna host this thing in the first place, we shouldn't go!
Monica: Where is everybody? They're forty-five minutes late!
Monica: Do you hear something? (Chandlers stands up and goes to the door to look out from the peephole)
Monica: Ohhh! Let me see! Oh God, I can't believe this! They're an hour late and they're just staying out there, talking!
Monica: (gasps) Oooh! They are in for a world of pain!
Monica: Oh! They're late and they're sloppy!
Phoebe: We're just... we're trying to figure out an excuse. Hey! Ooh! How about this: We can say that Monica told us 5 o'clock, not 4 o'clock. That way we're right on time! (Others start to agree but she continues) OR... or, we can plant PCP in the apartment and call the cops on her.
[cut to Monica and Chandler]
Monica: No! Everything's cold. The turkey's dried out and the... the stuffing is all soggy.
Chandler: Yeah, and there's a bowl of cranberry sauce that... (speaking lower to Monica) what happens to cranberry sauce?
Monica: (Rolling her eyes) Nothing. It's fine.
[cut to Monica and Chandler]
Monica: That's all the turkey you're gonna get.
Rachel: (gasps) Oh, I just remembered. We do have something to eat. Monica put something in our oven this morning.
[cut to Monica and Chandler]
Monica: Hey, you touch that and you will be sorry.
Chandler: Guys, I'd listen to her. The vein is bigger than I've ever seen it. (Monica looks at Chandler)
[cut to Monica and Chandler]
(Monica looks insulted)
Monica: Stinky?!
(Joey sticks his head through the gap. Monica and Chandler are now sitting at the dinner table. There is another smaller table full of food standing in front of the front door)
(Monica and Chandler do not look amused by Joeys head in the door)
(Monica is now smiling)
Monica: Oh! Enough! A monkey could have made 'em!
Joey: (still with his door wedged in the door gap, now opens his eyes wide and stares at Monica and Chandler as he did with Ross earlier in the hall) Hey listen guys, we feel really terrible.
Joey: Come on you guys, we want you to know we're (His eye widen even more) very very sorry. (Monica and Chandler are now covering their eyes with their hands) (then to the others in the hall) Right guys?
Monica: Yeah, they do seem to feel pretty bad.
Monica: (Gets up) Okay, okay. You two (to Phoebe and Rachel) go get the dessert. And I'll let you in.
Monica: Yeah, I asked you and Phoebe to pick up the pies. You did remember, right?
Phoebe: Pies, oh, we thought you said priiiize (goes to the hall and comes back with Emma's trophy in her hand). Here! (gives it to Monica).
(Monica takes it and reads the label)
Monica: Grand Supreme Little Darling?
Monica: Oh my God! YOU FORGOT THE PIES? Well, I cannot believe this. You force me to make dinner, then you're an hour late and you forget the one little thing that I asked you to do.
Monica: It's too late for apologies.
Monica: The three of us?
(Monica gasps and holds her forehead. Phoebe, Rachel and Ross pull back their heads)
Monica: Joey, that is not gonna work.
Monica: Alright, well, this does not change anything. (to Chandler) Okay, we need to get something to grease the sides of his face.
Monica: Bring it.
(Chandler gives Monica a footlong "eye dropper" with the turkey grease in it)
Monica: Here you go!
(And he starts licking the grease which trickles down his face. Monica also squirts some on the other side of his face, and his tongue follows her movements.)
Monica: Okay, try it.
Monica: Alright, we're gonna have to unscrew the chain.
Monica: Chandler, where are your tools?
Monica: I do, but Rachel borrowed them.
Monica: Oh!
Monica: Okay, I have to get that. Now when I get back, I want you and your friends to be gone. Thanksgiving is over. The Vein has spoken.
(Monica enters from the spare bedroom.)
Chandler: (to Monica) Look! Look! Look what the... Look what... Look what the floating heads did!
Monica: (very emotional) I don't care.
(Chandler can't believe what he's hearing. He looks at Monica, then at the others, then back at Monica.)
Monica: That was the adoption agency...
Monica: WE'RE GETTING A BABY!
Monica: There's a pregnant woman in Ohio, and she picked us!
Monica: This Thanksgiving kicks last Thanksgiving's ass!
Rachel: To Monica and Chandler... and that knocked up girl in Ohio.
Monica: I can't believe they called, and we're actually getting a baby. (she kisses Chandler)
(Monica and Chandler are looking curiously at Joey.)
Monica: Yeah. We-we had sex and then we fell asleep.
Chandler: Its okay, I want this to be your night too. (Raises his class.) To Monica.
Monica: 'Fraid so. Brown hair, green eyes...
Woman: So, what time is Monica supposed to get here?
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
(Monica and Ross push to the front)
Monica: Toothpick?
[Scene: A Janitorial Closet, Monica and Chandler are emerging slowly.]
Monica: And?
Monica: Joey!
Monica: What are you trying on now?
Monica: So you stole that tape from Richard's apartment?
Monica: What?! Which one?!
Monica: I'm sorry honey, but we're gonna take you shopping. It's gonna be fine.
Monica: Okay. That's okay. I-I know that you're very upset right now. I know, I know that wasn't about me.
Rachel: Oh Monica, we are so sorry.
Rachel and Monica: Oh God, neither!
Monica: For what?
Monica: Well, its done about two minutes before it looks like that.
Monica: Well no wait a minute thats not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best.
Rachel: Monica.
Monica: Shrill?! The wedding is back on!
Monica: Hey, I just whipped us up some Easy Bake treats, they should be ready in about three days.
Phoebe: Yay! I love drunk Monica!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is sitting on the chair, and theyre all talking.]
(Chandler and Monica enter.)
Joey: Probably Monica and Chandler.
Monica: Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare.
Rachel: (To Monica) Yes.
Monica: (To Joey) They were lovers.
Monica: Wow!
Monica: Well Im Monica Geller, ball like a baby.
Monica: Wait a minute, she isnt Shes not the one who you
Monica: (To Chandler) Okay, the red ones are my guests and the blue ones are yours.
Monica: Joey!
Monica: Why would they think theyre invited?
Monica: Rosss parents are my parents!
Monica: Oh please, you just want more blue pins.
[Rachel hands Monica a plate. Monica takes a spoonful of the whipped cream portion.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are going over the picture proofs.]
Monica: Yeah. And yknow, if you wanna cry, thats okay too.
Ross: The Armadillo was actually not so thrilled about that part! Okay Ben, its time to light the Hanukkah candles! (Santa, Superman, Monica, Ben, and the Holiday Armadillo go over to the menorah to light the candles.)
Monica: You went out with Wallis Pincer?
Monica: (catching him) Chandler!
Monica: I knew you didn't get a 1400!
Rachel: Huh. Does Monica know about this?
Monica: Well, you don't have to decide right now, but if you could just look at our file...
Phoebe: Okay, so... allright... Which dress? (she holds up two 'Phoebe' dresses, Rachel and Monica look at them... taking their time, don't wanting to hurt Phoebe) You can say "neither".
Monica: Oh Joey!
Monica: Oh thats too bad. Its true, but too bad.
Monica: (looking at him) What?!
Monica: Well, what am I going to say?
(Monica gets up and heads for the bathroom, Chandler turns to watch her go and is startled to see Joey sitting in Monicas seat.)
Monica: No she hasnt.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Monica is blowing out a candle as Chandler enters.]
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Monica: 007 has a fancy car!
Monica: Hey.
MONICA: Oh, that's there on the bottom, see the manager, Chandler Bing.
Monica: The show?!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is on the couch as Chandler disgustedly enters.]
Monica: 007 gets all the ladies.
Monica: The wedding starts at six.
Monica: Youll vamp?!
Joey: (laughs) Yeah! Right! (points at Monica) People eat birds... Bird meat... Now do they just fly into your mouth or you go to... you go to a restaurant and you say: "Excuse me, I'll have a bucket of fried bird." (laughs again) Or... or maybe just a wing or... (realises...)
Monica: Have you ever been to one of my weddings?
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Eighth street deli?
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah it is, mostly because I get to boss people around, which I just love to do.
Monica: Between you and
Monica: (writing on a piece of paper) Phyllis is sitting in a chair.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler, Monica, and Ross are still giving away all of their secrets.]
Joey: (entering) Hey! Uh, Monica? Chandler? Can I talk to you guys for a second?
Monica: You bought the beach house when I was 23!
Monica: Thank God! I can't watch him anymore!
Monica: All right thats it, I give up! Whatever you want you can have it! You wanna sing a song? You wanna do a dance? You want your mom stand at the Alter and scream racial slurs? I dont care!
Monica: Yeah. Anyway, he told me about your apartment. And, um, I couldn't sleep, thinking about it. So, uh, would it be okay if I cleaned it?
Monica: Oh! And dont let me leave without getting the name of that carpet guy.
Monica: (Monica looks at Rachel in disbelief) She said WHAT?
Monica: Theres still so much to do. Have you written your vows yet?
Monica: No! But I know exactly what Im going to say.
Chandler: I asked myself that very question, sir. Uh, (Points to Monica) this is Monica. (Points to his boss.) This is my boss, Doug. Doug this is Monica.
Rachel: Monica what?
Monica: Thank you.
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah! (Monica glares at her.)
Monica: Those are my eyes! Those are my breasts. (Points.)
Monica: Hold it! Are you talking about Dick Clarks New Years Rocking Eve?
Monica: Its kind of an important one!
Chandler: (writing) Monica
Monica: No! You dont know the system! Therell be nobody messing with the system!
Monica: Oh yeah? When?
(Monica stands up and wobbles slightly and Chandler runs over to catch her.)
Joey: Oh, I got it! How about saying something like, "Monica
Monica: Well?
Monica: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Monica: Ok, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Monica: What?
MONICA: Exactly. Oh, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. Tell me the truth. Don't you like it better now that everything on your desk is perpendicular?
Monica: Yes, you did!
Monica: You love me!
Chandler: Look, Monica