words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone has just finished Thanksgiving dinner and are groaning over their fullness.]
Rachel: Oh Monica that was the best Thanksgiving dinner ever! I think you killed us.
Phoebe: Monica your remote doesn't work.
Monica: Phoebe, you have to lift it and point.
Monica: That's very nice.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier. Joey is talking about the wonder that is the thong.]
Monica: Is anyone thankful for anything else besides a thong?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: Oh, let's not tell this story.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Phoebe is entering.]
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bastedOh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
Monica: What-what are you doing? Is this supposed to be funny?
Monica: Well, get it off now!
Monica: Well, I don't care! That-that turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not gonna eat it off your head!
Monica: Okay, I got it. Phoebe? All right, you pull. I'm gonna spread the legs as wide as I can. (Joey starts giggling.) Joey? Now is not the time!
Monica: Okay, count to three. 1. 2. 3!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: That's it. That's my worse Thanksgiving.
Monica: Umm, I-I really don't want to tell this story.
Chandler: Oh, come on Monica, reliving past pain and getting depressed is what Thanksgiving is all about. Y'know, for me anyway. And of course, the Indians.
Monica: Look umm, of all people, you do not want me to tell this story!
Mrs. Geller: Monica! I think Rachel's here!
Monica: I'll get it! (She runs in, and she's her old fat self like The One With The Prom Video. Not only that, she's out of breath after running a short distance. She goes over and opens the door to reveal Rachel with her old nose.) Happy Thanksgiving!
Fat Monica: Oh, why? Why? What happened?
Fat Monica: Yeah, yeah, and you were going him y'know, your flower.
Big Nosed Rachel: Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me! (Walks into the living room and greets Monica's parents.) Hi!
Fat Monica: Ross! (Wanting to be introduced.)
Ross: Oh, this is Monica.
Fat Monica: Hi, I'm Ross's little sister.
Fat Monica: Umm, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.
(As she is drinking, Monica laughs and Chandler's joke and Diet Coke comes out of her nose.)
Fat Monica: dammit! (Runs off.)
(Rachel wanders into the kitchen where Monica is making Chandler's dinner.)
Fat Monica: I think his begging days are over now that he's going out with Nancy Branson.
Fat Monica: Call them mom and dad you loser!
Ross: (in a high pitched voice) Monica!
[Time lapse, dinner has finished and Chandler is sitting on the couch eating some pie. Monica sits down beside him, and he gets pushed up a little by the wave she makes in the couch.]
Fat Monica: Hey Chandler! Did you like the macaroni and cheese?
Fat Monica: Okay!
Fat Monica: Oh that's so great!
Fat Monica: Oh gosh, listen if you and Chip do it tonight, promise me you'll tell me everything.
Fat Monica: I know, but y'know, this time you're gonna definitely know whether or not you did it!
(Monica enters behind them.)
(Monica suddenly gets very happy.)
(Upon hearing this, Monica starts to break down and storms out. Only to be stopped by her parents.)
Mrs. Geller: (holding two pies) Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge.
Fat Monica: No. No, thank you!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, back to the present day.]
Monica: Well, I do.
Monica: Yes, it was!
Monica: (interrupting her) Okay, now Thanksgiving's over, let's get ready for Christmas. Who wants to go get a Christmas tree?!
Ross: So uh, where's Monica?
Mrs. Geller: She's upstairs. Monica! Come down! Everyone's here! Ross, Rachel, and the boy who hates Thanksgiving.
(Monica enters, but she forgot something. Oh, about 150 pounds. In other words, she lost weight, big time!)
Monica: Hi, Chandler.
Monica: What-what's the matter? Is there, is there something on my dress? (She turns around making sure he gets a good look.)
Mrs. Geller: Yes, yes Monica is thin. It's wonderful. But what we really want to hear about is Ross's new girlfriend.
Monica: So Chandler, I guess I'll see you at dinner.
Monica: Well it didn't!
Monica: Yeah, I mean yeah, I look great. Yeah, I feel great and yeah, my heart is not in trouble anymore! Blah, blah, blah! Y'know I still don't feel like I got him back, y'know? I just want to humiliate him. I wanna, I want him to be like naked and then I'm going to point at him and laugh!
Monica: How?
Monica: What?! I mean, I didn't work this hard and-and-and lose all this weight so that I can give my flower to someone like him!
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: And when he's naked I can throw him out in the front yard and lock the door and all the neighbors will just humiliate him!
Monica: Okay, so how do I make him think I wanna have sex with him?
Monica: What do you mean?
Monica: (excited) I can do that!
Chandler: Monica, I was wondering if you can make me some of that righteous mac and cheese like last year.
Monica: Umm, I'd love too! (She goes over and picks up the box and decides to follow Rachel's advice and holds the box up to her cheek.) Ooh, I love macaroni and cheese. I love-I love the way this box feels against my cheek.
Monica: Boy, I love carrots! Oh! (She picks up a bunch of them and holds them between her fingers.) Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and-and hold them down here while I talk to you. (She is rubbing her hip with the carrots.) Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife (She picks up a knife without putting the box down. She's holding the box between her cheek and shoulder) and-and umm, I-I put the cold steal against umm, (Pause) my body. (She doesn't have any exposed skin within reach of the knife, so while holding the carrots in one hand and the box between her face and shoulder, she rubs the knife on her stomach.)
Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)
Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)
Monica: What?! What is it?
Monica: God, I'm sorry! I'll go back and get it!
Monica: Wait, no-no-no, I can go really fast! Dad, give me the keys to your Porsche!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is reacting to the story.]
Monica: I didn't mean to cut it off. It was an accident.
Monica: I'm sorry! It wasn't your whole toe!
Monica: Chandler! (Follows him out.)
Monica: Chandler, I said I was sorry.
Monica: Oh wait, Chandler, come here is there anything I can do? Anything?
(There's a knock on the door and Chandler gets up to answer it. He opens the door to reveal Monica with a turkey over her head.)
Monica: Wait, wait, wait! (She puts a Shriner's hat on the turkey.)
Chandler: Look, Monica
Monica: Look! (She puts a big, yellow pair of sunglasses on the bird.)
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
(Monica stops suddenly and turns around slowly.)
Monica: What?
Monica: You said you loved me! I can't believe this!
Monica: Yes, you did!
Monica: You love me!
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
Joey: All right, all right, all right. (Starts to leave, stops, and turns around) I mean Ill have to check with him first, but Ill think hell be cool with it. (Monica shoos him out.)
Monica: (hearing that) Thats it big girl! (Hits Janine in the butt with the garbage bag) Come on!
Ross: (entering with Monica in tow) Hey!
Monica: (closing the fridge in disgust) Shoot! Were out of soda.
MONICA: You look fabulous honey, you really do.
Monica: Welcome to our side of the tunnel.
JOEY: Hey Monica, why are we watchin' the business channel?
Monica: That is never good.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Rachel are comforting Chandler]
Monica: Couldn't you just stay like this forever? (His eyes snap open.) Chandler! Couldn't you just stay here forever?
Rachel and Monica: Nooo!
Monica: She has to know that your not ready.
Doug: Come on honey, let's go drink our body weight. (They walk off leaving Chandler and Monica alone.)
Monica: Honey, we have been through this before!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Ross is acting nervous]
RACHEL: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
Monica: (going through her pockets) No... (to Chandler and Phoebe) Either of you girls got a quarter?
Monica: I cant believe you. You still havent told that girl she doesnt have a job yet?
Monica: God, look what I found in the drain.
Monica: See, now this is why I keep notepads everywhere.
Ross: There was no song. (to Monica) There was no song!
Monica: '....Won't you, won't you, won't you.... '
Monica: Well, you used to dress up in Mom's clothes all the time.
Monica: Wasn't there a little song?
Monica: (singing) 'I am Bea.'
MONICA: Hey, I've come to terms with it, you have to too.
Monica: Oh, that's what I would do, forget mine.
Monica: So, Chandler, whos on your list?
Joey: Hey, Monica, who would yours be?
Monica: First, I need a boyfriend, then I can have a list.
Phoebe: This is Monica.
(Everyone starts to dance in unison. Monica flounders)
Joey: No! If anyone's a sex addict here, it's Monica! Yeah. Yeah. She has been trying to get me back in the sack ever since London!
Monica: Thats a little more than I wanted to see.
Monica: Why, whats wrong with my bathroom floor?
Monica: Did you ever feel like sometimes you are just so unbelievably uncoordinated?
Monica: Well, if you really think about it, I mean four days is not that long. I mean, I see you Monday before you go to work, and I see you Thursday when you get back, and I always work late on Tuesdays, so really if you think about it, it's really just one day. And well, if we can't make it one day, we've got real problems my friend.
Monica: If you want, I'll do it.
Monica: So hows it going with you guys?
Monica: Richard's living room, drinking wine.
Monica: Really, is he a swimmer?
Chandler: You know what's not funny? Male Pattern Baldness (Monica stretches her neck to look behind Zack's head and then gives Chandler an "ok" sign)
Monica: I just asked you.
Monica: It's some of Richard's hair! (holds it close to Ross) What do I do with this?
MONICA: OK, what're we gonna do about this?
Monica: Whats the matter?
[Scene: Monica and Rachels bathroom, Joey and Monica are admiring the new floor.]
Monica: I don't, I just, I just like the smell of them. So, uh, what are you really doing here Dad?
Monica: Well, it was good to see you too. Did you come down here to tell me that?
Monica: All right, it'll be great! You just make her think you wanna have sex with her! It'll totally freak her out!
Monica: Just like you told her you did! (Chandler glares at her.) ... Just pointing out the irony.
Monica: Congratulations, I think youve found the worlds thinnest argument.
Monica: That’s right. You’re making a commitment and that’s the same, whether you do that at the Plaza or, where are you gonna do it?
Monica: ...horribly attractive. I'll be shutting up now.
MONICA: Happy birthday dad.
Monica: And who laminated it?
Monica: This is me in The Sound of Music. See the von Trapp kids?
Monica and Rachel: What?!!
Monica: Honey, we've been trying to have a baby for over a year. I think it's a good idea to find out if everything's ok. Just a few routine tests.
Joey: Well, there was that one time that Monica and Rachel got together.
Monica: What?
Monica: Hi.
[Scene: the hallway, Monica is coming up the stairs.]
Monica: Hey, did you pick a roommate?
Monica: Hes so cute.
Monica: Got me.
[Scene: Monicas bedroom.]
MONICA: No, I just, I fell down.
Monica: I know.
Monica: Thanks.
Chandler: (picks it up) And now Ive picked it up again. (walks over to Monica.)
Monica: Aww, not right now.
Phoebe: (to Monica, whos entering) Hey, youre early.
Monica: Oh, thatd be great.
Monica: Hi, again.
Monica: You want some help with that?
Monica: Whoa! Are you okay?
Monica: (turning around) Okay, heres your penis!
Monica: Do you wanna come in for some lemonade?
Monica: Thank you. Just make yourself comfortable.
Monica: So?!
Monica: Pheebs?
Monica: Oh my God!!! What are you doing?!!
Monica: Yeah huh!! Cover yourself up!
Monica: What?
Monica: Wheres your bed?
Monica: What are you talking about?
Monica: Everybody knows!
Monica: What?!?!
Monica: You can spill. In the sink.
MONICA: [her and Richard return to her place] So are you ok?
[Scene: Monicas, Monica is coming out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel, as Chandler is entering.]
Monica: Hey, Rach, did you make your money?
Monica: I love you, too.
Monica: Phoebe moved out.
Monica: Hey.
Monica: Well, I think so.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone exept Monica is there.]
Monica: I got offered the head chef job at Allesandros.
MONICA: Duh-huh!