words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone has just finished Thanksgiving dinner and are groaning over their fullness.]
Rachel: Oh Monica that was the best Thanksgiving dinner ever! I think you killed us.
Phoebe: Monica your remote doesn't work.
Monica: Phoebe, you have to lift it and point.
Monica: That's very nice.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier. Joey is talking about the wonder that is the thong.]
Monica: Is anyone thankful for anything else besides a thong?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: Oh, let's not tell this story.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Phoebe is entering.]
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bastedOh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
Monica: What-what are you doing? Is this supposed to be funny?
Monica: Well, get it off now!
Monica: Well, I don't care! That-that turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not gonna eat it off your head!
Monica: Okay, I got it. Phoebe? All right, you pull. I'm gonna spread the legs as wide as I can. (Joey starts giggling.) Joey? Now is not the time!
Monica: Okay, count to three. 1. 2. 3!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: That's it. That's my worse Thanksgiving.
Monica: Umm, I-I really don't want to tell this story.
Chandler: Oh, come on Monica, reliving past pain and getting depressed is what Thanksgiving is all about. Y'know, for me anyway. And of course, the Indians.
Monica: Look umm, of all people, you do not want me to tell this story!
Mrs. Geller: Monica! I think Rachel's here!
Monica: I'll get it! (She runs in, and she's her old fat self like The One With The Prom Video. Not only that, she's out of breath after running a short distance. She goes over and opens the door to reveal Rachel with her old nose.) Happy Thanksgiving!
Fat Monica: Oh, why? Why? What happened?
Fat Monica: Yeah, yeah, and you were going him y'know, your flower.
Big Nosed Rachel: Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me! (Walks into the living room and greets Monica's parents.) Hi!
Fat Monica: Ross! (Wanting to be introduced.)
Ross: Oh, this is Monica.
Fat Monica: Hi, I'm Ross's little sister.
Fat Monica: Umm, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.
(As she is drinking, Monica laughs and Chandler's joke and Diet Coke comes out of her nose.)
Fat Monica: dammit! (Runs off.)
(Rachel wanders into the kitchen where Monica is making Chandler's dinner.)
Fat Monica: I think his begging days are over now that he's going out with Nancy Branson.
Fat Monica: Call them mom and dad you loser!
Ross: (in a high pitched voice) Monica!
[Time lapse, dinner has finished and Chandler is sitting on the couch eating some pie. Monica sits down beside him, and he gets pushed up a little by the wave she makes in the couch.]
Fat Monica: Hey Chandler! Did you like the macaroni and cheese?
Fat Monica: Okay!
Fat Monica: Oh that's so great!
Fat Monica: Oh gosh, listen if you and Chip do it tonight, promise me you'll tell me everything.
Fat Monica: I know, but y'know, this time you're gonna definitely know whether or not you did it!
(Monica enters behind them.)
(Monica suddenly gets very happy.)
(Upon hearing this, Monica starts to break down and storms out. Only to be stopped by her parents.)
Mrs. Geller: (holding two pies) Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge.
Fat Monica: No. No, thank you!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, back to the present day.]
Monica: Well, I do.
Monica: Yes, it was!
Monica: (interrupting her) Okay, now Thanksgiving's over, let's get ready for Christmas. Who wants to go get a Christmas tree?!
Ross: So uh, where's Monica?
Mrs. Geller: She's upstairs. Monica! Come down! Everyone's here! Ross, Rachel, and the boy who hates Thanksgiving.
(Monica enters, but she forgot something. Oh, about 150 pounds. In other words, she lost weight, big time!)
Monica: Hi, Chandler.
Monica: What-what's the matter? Is there, is there something on my dress? (She turns around making sure he gets a good look.)
Mrs. Geller: Yes, yes Monica is thin. It's wonderful. But what we really want to hear about is Ross's new girlfriend.
Monica: So Chandler, I guess I'll see you at dinner.
Monica: Well it didn't!
Monica: Yeah, I mean yeah, I look great. Yeah, I feel great and yeah, my heart is not in trouble anymore! Blah, blah, blah! Y'know I still don't feel like I got him back, y'know? I just want to humiliate him. I wanna, I want him to be like naked and then I'm going to point at him and laugh!
Monica: How?
Monica: What?! I mean, I didn't work this hard and-and-and lose all this weight so that I can give my flower to someone like him!
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: And when he's naked I can throw him out in the front yard and lock the door and all the neighbors will just humiliate him!
Monica: Okay, so how do I make him think I wanna have sex with him?
Monica: What do you mean?
Monica: (excited) I can do that!
Chandler: Monica, I was wondering if you can make me some of that righteous mac and cheese like last year.
Monica: Umm, I'd love too! (She goes over and picks up the box and decides to follow Rachel's advice and holds the box up to her cheek.) Ooh, I love macaroni and cheese. I love-I love the way this box feels against my cheek.
Monica: Boy, I love carrots! Oh! (She picks up a bunch of them and holds them between her fingers.) Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and-and hold them down here while I talk to you. (She is rubbing her hip with the carrots.) Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife (She picks up a knife without putting the box down. She's holding the box between her cheek and shoulder) and-and umm, I-I put the cold steal against umm, (Pause) my body. (She doesn't have any exposed skin within reach of the knife, so while holding the carrots in one hand and the box between her face and shoulder, she rubs the knife on her stomach.)
Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)
Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)
Monica: What?! What is it?
Monica: God, I'm sorry! I'll go back and get it!
Monica: Wait, no-no-no, I can go really fast! Dad, give me the keys to your Porsche!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is reacting to the story.]
Monica: I didn't mean to cut it off. It was an accident.
Monica: I'm sorry! It wasn't your whole toe!
Monica: Chandler! (Follows him out.)
Monica: Chandler, I said I was sorry.
Monica: Oh wait, Chandler, come here is there anything I can do? Anything?
(There's a knock on the door and Chandler gets up to answer it. He opens the door to reveal Monica with a turkey over her head.)
Monica: Wait, wait, wait! (She puts a Shriner's hat on the turkey.)
Chandler: Look, Monica
Monica: Look! (She puts a big, yellow pair of sunglasses on the bird.)
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
(Monica stops suddenly and turns around slowly.)
Monica: What?
Monica: You said you loved me! I can't believe this!
Monica: Yes, you did!
Monica: You love me!
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
Monica: Well?
Ross: You have 30 seconds. And the lightning round beginsstop it (Chandler stops jumping)now. What was Monicas nickname when she was a field hockey goalie?
Monica: Back then, I thought that I would never, ever get the chance to go out with a Chip Matthews, and now hes-hes called me up and asked me out. And the fat girl inside of me really wants to go. I-I owe her this. I never let her eat.
Monica: Hey!
(Theres a knock on the door and Monica answers it.)
Monica: What is it?!
Phoebe: Yeah, but youve got to pull yourself together! Monica cant see you like this! Then shell know somethings wrong!
Joey: Sure! (Monica gets very depressed) But hey, you know this way sounds good too.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica is getting coffee as Phoebe enters.]
Monica: Oh my God, are you out of a job?
Monica: Yeah, I think I have some around here somewhere. Why?
Joey: Oh yeah. If you ah, move your hamper, you see what color the tile used to be. (Monica gasps) Yeah.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Monica is still unpacking after the move, and Phoebe is their also.]
Monica: What are you doing?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica and Erica enter, Chandler is in the kitchen.]
Monica: Umm. (Looks at Chandler who is using the phone.) Umm. Umm. I don't think so.
MONICA: [carrying an ice cube tray] Ice, ice, ice squares anyone? Take a napkin. Alright.
MONICA: I don't know, I lost it all ok. I lost it.
Rachel: (to Monica) Did you know he was in there?
Monica: (popping back up) Regular or decaf?
Ross: (To Rachel) Hey are you getting Monica and Chandler an engagement present?
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Monica: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
MONICA: If you really want to watch that Serengetti thing, you can.
Monica: Oh that's okay. Dont worry about it, you can give it to me when we get back.
Monica: Oh, well... um, that's all there are of these. But in about eight and a half minutes, we'll be serving some delicious onion tartlets.
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Monica: Well, my breasts are going to get bigger weather you like it or not! And you know what? It's not just my breasts. My ass is going to get bigger too.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Monica enters.]
Monica: Please, have some!
Monica: Yeah, its just something I picked up.
Monica: Wait! Wait! This isnt take-out!
Monica: People are supposed to wanna hang out here!
Monica: I am so jealous.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica and Ross are there. Monica is checking the messages.]
Monica: I gotta tell ya, I think its okay to be that guy.
Monica: Are you sure?
Monica: Nah, I got it.
[Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe enter, confused.]
[Scene: Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica comforting Joey at Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
Monica: Oh, Im sorry. Of course I mean that. Interesting idea, umm, talk about it, but no.
(Monica stares longingly at the door, after Richard leaves)
Monica: He loves you.
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in Monicas lap and his feet on Chandlers lap. Monica and Chandler are both still awake and depressed.]
Rachel: Wow! Monica!
Monica: Just come.
[Scene: game room, Monica and Mike are still playing ping pong]
MONICA: Huuh, alright, Danny Arshak, ninth grade. Oh, c'mon Rach, you know the bottle was totally pointing at me.
Monica: (not wanting to be left out, picks up something) Hey umm, whats this?
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bast-Oh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
Monica: OK, great. You'll tell us and we'll laugh. Let's play poker.
Monica: Whats Phase Two?
(Chandler and Monica carry Erica and Jack over to the crib and put them down carefully.)
(Pete and Monica kiss, and Monica mouths I love you. to him.)
Rachel: Oh. Thats so Monica can keep track. That way if one on them is missing, she can be like, Wheres number 27?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is in his sweats flinging playing cards into a pot.]
Monica: Rachel always cries!
Monica: Oh Rachel, I know the best coffee house and its sooo close.
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
Monica: You stink!
Rachel: Hey, Monica!
Monica: Hey, Joey, could you pass the cheese?
Monica: Sweety, what are you talking about?
Monica: Uh-oh, whats the matter?
Pete: Monica, I want to become (pause) the Ultimate Fighting Champion.
Monica: I cant! I have to work!
Monica: I think shes here.
Woman: Hello! (Monica screams)
MONICA: Oh, um, that was my bathing suit from high school. I was uh, a little bigger then.
Monica: What?
Monica: Oh my God!
Monica: Oh. (to Phoebe) Can I have a tissue?
Monica: All right, then show me some manly moves.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Chandler and Monica enters.]
Monica: Y'know in a weird way, you have too much power. Look, youre gonna have to help me out here, cause I only have three.
Monica: So you hit her in the face?
Monica: What?
Monica: All right, come on, I'm-I'm late for work!
Monica: Hey! Youre wearing pants!
(The phone rings and Monica answers it.)
Monica: (laughs) Please, its a relief is what it is, is what it is.
Monica: Oh-oh, my God!
Monica: Its 9:30 in the morning!
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Monica: Why do you care so much anyway?
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?! Its never gonna happen, shes seeing somebody.
Monica: A couple of days.
[Scene: Hallway between the apartments. Chandler comes out wearing spandex, jogging in place. Monica is there.]
Monica: Yeah, come on, we can be guys!
Monica: (looking out the peephole) Ohh, shes looking down the hall. Oh! She looked right at me! Oh wait, you cant see people through that little hole, can you? (Goes back to the door.) Hello!
Monica: And thats why, Im not inviting you in for a drink. (starts to leave) Bye.
Rachel: Oh thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! (Monica opens the door.) Emily?
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is looking at the ring he bought and not liking it.]
MONICA: I know, how can you not be accross the hall anymore.
Monica: So, we did okay at the strip club, right?
Monica: Come on! Chandler!
Monica: Really?!
Monica: Thats-thats not Phase Three.
Joey: Hey, Monica bought a bed from the Mattress King?
Monica: (to Phoebe) You know it's funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.