words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone has just finished Thanksgiving dinner and are groaning over their fullness.]
Rachel: Oh Monica that was the best Thanksgiving dinner ever! I think you killed us.
Phoebe: Monica your remote doesn't work.
Monica: Phoebe, you have to lift it and point.
Monica: That's very nice.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier. Joey is talking about the wonder that is the thong.]
Monica: Is anyone thankful for anything else besides a thong?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: Oh, let's not tell this story.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Phoebe is entering.]
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bastedOh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
Monica: What-what are you doing? Is this supposed to be funny?
Monica: Well, get it off now!
Monica: Well, I don't care! That-that turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not gonna eat it off your head!
Monica: Okay, I got it. Phoebe? All right, you pull. I'm gonna spread the legs as wide as I can. (Joey starts giggling.) Joey? Now is not the time!
Monica: Okay, count to three. 1. 2. 3!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: That's it. That's my worse Thanksgiving.
Monica: Umm, I-I really don't want to tell this story.
Chandler: Oh, come on Monica, reliving past pain and getting depressed is what Thanksgiving is all about. Y'know, for me anyway. And of course, the Indians.
Monica: Look umm, of all people, you do not want me to tell this story!
Mrs. Geller: Monica! I think Rachel's here!
Monica: I'll get it! (She runs in, and she's her old fat self like The One With The Prom Video. Not only that, she's out of breath after running a short distance. She goes over and opens the door to reveal Rachel with her old nose.) Happy Thanksgiving!
Fat Monica: Oh, why? Why? What happened?
Fat Monica: Yeah, yeah, and you were going him y'know, your flower.
Big Nosed Rachel: Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me! (Walks into the living room and greets Monica's parents.) Hi!
Fat Monica: Ross! (Wanting to be introduced.)
Ross: Oh, this is Monica.
Fat Monica: Hi, I'm Ross's little sister.
Fat Monica: Umm, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.
(As she is drinking, Monica laughs and Chandler's joke and Diet Coke comes out of her nose.)
Fat Monica: dammit! (Runs off.)
(Rachel wanders into the kitchen where Monica is making Chandler's dinner.)
Fat Monica: I think his begging days are over now that he's going out with Nancy Branson.
Fat Monica: Call them mom and dad you loser!
Ross: (in a high pitched voice) Monica!
[Time lapse, dinner has finished and Chandler is sitting on the couch eating some pie. Monica sits down beside him, and he gets pushed up a little by the wave she makes in the couch.]
Fat Monica: Hey Chandler! Did you like the macaroni and cheese?
Fat Monica: Okay!
Fat Monica: Oh that's so great!
Fat Monica: Oh gosh, listen if you and Chip do it tonight, promise me you'll tell me everything.
Fat Monica: I know, but y'know, this time you're gonna definitely know whether or not you did it!
(Monica enters behind them.)
(Monica suddenly gets very happy.)
(Upon hearing this, Monica starts to break down and storms out. Only to be stopped by her parents.)
Mrs. Geller: (holding two pies) Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge.
Fat Monica: No. No, thank you!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, back to the present day.]
Monica: Well, I do.
Monica: Yes, it was!
Monica: (interrupting her) Okay, now Thanksgiving's over, let's get ready for Christmas. Who wants to go get a Christmas tree?!
Ross: So uh, where's Monica?
Mrs. Geller: She's upstairs. Monica! Come down! Everyone's here! Ross, Rachel, and the boy who hates Thanksgiving.
(Monica enters, but she forgot something. Oh, about 150 pounds. In other words, she lost weight, big time!)
Monica: Hi, Chandler.
Monica: What-what's the matter? Is there, is there something on my dress? (She turns around making sure he gets a good look.)
Mrs. Geller: Yes, yes Monica is thin. It's wonderful. But what we really want to hear about is Ross's new girlfriend.
Monica: So Chandler, I guess I'll see you at dinner.
Monica: Well it didn't!
Monica: Yeah, I mean yeah, I look great. Yeah, I feel great and yeah, my heart is not in trouble anymore! Blah, blah, blah! Y'know I still don't feel like I got him back, y'know? I just want to humiliate him. I wanna, I want him to be like naked and then I'm going to point at him and laugh!
Monica: How?
Monica: What?! I mean, I didn't work this hard and-and-and lose all this weight so that I can give my flower to someone like him!
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: And when he's naked I can throw him out in the front yard and lock the door and all the neighbors will just humiliate him!
Monica: Okay, so how do I make him think I wanna have sex with him?
Monica: What do you mean?
Monica: (excited) I can do that!
Chandler: Monica, I was wondering if you can make me some of that righteous mac and cheese like last year.
Monica: Umm, I'd love too! (She goes over and picks up the box and decides to follow Rachel's advice and holds the box up to her cheek.) Ooh, I love macaroni and cheese. I love-I love the way this box feels against my cheek.
Monica: Boy, I love carrots! Oh! (She picks up a bunch of them and holds them between her fingers.) Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and-and hold them down here while I talk to you. (She is rubbing her hip with the carrots.) Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife (She picks up a knife without putting the box down. She's holding the box between her cheek and shoulder) and-and umm, I-I put the cold steal against umm, (Pause) my body. (She doesn't have any exposed skin within reach of the knife, so while holding the carrots in one hand and the box between her face and shoulder, she rubs the knife on her stomach.)
Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)
Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)
Monica: What?! What is it?
Monica: God, I'm sorry! I'll go back and get it!
Monica: Wait, no-no-no, I can go really fast! Dad, give me the keys to your Porsche!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is reacting to the story.]
Monica: I didn't mean to cut it off. It was an accident.
Monica: I'm sorry! It wasn't your whole toe!
Monica: Chandler! (Follows him out.)
Monica: Chandler, I said I was sorry.
Monica: Oh wait, Chandler, come here is there anything I can do? Anything?
(There's a knock on the door and Chandler gets up to answer it. He opens the door to reveal Monica with a turkey over her head.)
Monica: Wait, wait, wait! (She puts a Shriner's hat on the turkey.)
Chandler: Look, Monica
Monica: Look! (She puts a big, yellow pair of sunglasses on the bird.)
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
(Monica stops suddenly and turns around slowly.)
Monica: What?
Monica: You said you loved me! I can't believe this!
Monica: Yes, you did!
Monica: You love me!
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
Ross: Hey, where are Monica and Rachel anyway?
Monica: (looking through the peephole) It's Danny.
Monica: How about if I dance around all covered in sauce? Huh? You think its funny now?
Monica: (singing) "I'm a little bit country"...
Monica: Yknow, in my defense, umm there was no glitter on the macaroni and very little glue.
Monica: Oh, would you let it go already?! Youre fine!
Monica: Me too.
Monica: My God! Chandler, we said be 'aloof' not 'a doof'.
Monica: (To Phoebe) How are you doing?
Monica: (entering with Chandler) Hey!
Monica: Chandler!
Monica: So, why wait 'til Saturday, are you free tomorrow?
Monica: Oh, great!
Monica: Oh no-no-no, stay, stay, stay, just keep talking. Im always the hostess.
Monica: (to Danny) We'll be right there! (To Rachel) Can't you just say it starts later?
Monica: We should get over there and see if she's okay. (switching places with Ross) Just one...second! Score! (Monica scores, high-fives with Ross) Game! Come on. (Monica and Phoebe leave)
Dan: Uh, bye Monica.
(Ross grabs for some food, Monica slaps his hand away.)
Monica: Chandler! You don't have to ask for my permission. (Quietly) You can go.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is mopping around and eating ice cream.]
Monica: (from the hallway) I do not like that woman!
Monica: Yeah, and in the long version, I dump him for telling people the short version.
Monica: Great!
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
Monica: (interrupting) Know when to stop.
Monica: I think you're my favorite.
Ross: (on phone) Uh, hello dad! Monica and I just saw the house in the paper! (Listens) Yes were surprised! (Listens) Who did you leave a message with?
Monica: Uh-huh, that one!
Monica: Oh, shes gonna love that!
Monica: What is it hon?
Monica: (Panicking) Okay, umm, okay, umm (Rachel opens the door.) It's just Joey and Ross.
Monica: Ive been doing a lot of thinking. A lot! And umm, well, I came up with a whole bunch of businesses you can do with your van. Okay umm, you could be flower delivery person.
Pete: Uh, absolutely, yeah, sEnd her in. (Monica enters) Hi.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe, Chandler, Ross, and Monica are eating breakfast.]
Monica: Oh that's great!
Monica: Absolutely! It would just be one friend (Points at Chandler) helping out another friend. (Points at herself.)
Monica: Oh, great! Just what you want for a new house with infants. Bird feces.
Monica: Ok, here we go. We need to sort out the tickets as quickly as possible to see if we've won. So does anybody have any ideas how to organize this? (doesn't let them answer) Ok, how about this: we divide them into 6 groups of 40, and the remaining 10 can be read by whoever finishes their pile first.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Chandler: Really?! That's what you heard? (To Monica) You said that?
Monica: What?!
Monica: Maybe I do! Im pretty feisty! (She blows the signal.)
Monica: That's great!
Monica: Hey!
Joey: I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish, Monica. I'm just happy I'm keeping it down, y'know?
Monica: Okay. (Opens the fridge.) All right, turkey. Eh, that wont work. Cheese? (Picks it up) That wont work. Olive loaf? (Picks it up) I hope that wont work.
Monica: Yeah, yknow, but something like salmon which would be so much more elegant than the chicken. And, you wouldnt have to worry about the salmonella. (Ross pushes her.) So, I cant wait to see this place youre getting married!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel, Chandler, and Joey are decorating the Christmas tree.]
Monica: Sure!
Monica: What?! Ross y'know this isnt even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if youre right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too?
Monica: Oh my God, the cat's made my eyes water! Don't-don't throw it to me! My vision's been compromised!! (Quickly grabs a tissue to wipe her eyes.) Oh God! Okay. Okay. It's okay. Man, that was close.
Monica: Great!
Monica: What?! You can'twhat did you tell her?
Monica: No, you cannot.
Monica: Okay, look, this could be a really long game.
Monica: (Looking at the TV) You're not on TV.
Monica: (entering) Hi Chandler.
Monica: Yeah, so?
Monica: Y'know what, champ? I think I'll pass.
Monica: Do you realize this is probably the last time well all be here in the coffee house as six single people?
Monica: No, I want everything that you just said. I want a marriage.
Monica: Hey, are you ready to get back on the dance floor?
Chandler: (picking up a video from the table) Candy and Cookie. Candy and Cookie? Monica got me porn?! Girl-on-girl porn?! She really must love me!! (Chandler runs over to the TV, puts the tape in, and sits down to enjoy some "porn")
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to hang up on Julie.]
Monica: I know.. it's gonna be really hard.
Monica: (to the clerk) Ooh, an ink stain! Hey, can I watch how you get this out?
Monica: They torn it down a few days early.
[Scene: The delivery room, later on, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, and Frank are there as Dr. Harad is checking out Phoebe.]
ROSS: Oh, Monica, I figured I'd come by tomorrow morning and pick up Fluffy's old cat toy, OK?
Monica: Really?
Tim: Whoops. Sorry. (Looking at it, like a newscaster) This just in. (Phoebe fake laughs.) Oh, its 9-1-1 from the restaurant, that means Monica needs me right away. (Starts to leave.)
MONICA: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.
Monica: Im gonna hang this basket (Points to the one sitting on the table) on the door and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece.
Monica: Keep talking.
Monica: Yeah. (She takes them off.)
Monica: I know!
Monica: Okay.
Monica: Ow!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Courtney is dancing in the fat suit and after shaking her groove thing sits down in exhaustion.]
Monica: But, I just cleaned the bathroom.
MONICA: No. You don't have any of these cute little obsessive things.
Monica: Never done that before.
Joey: Monica? What time is it?
Ross: Monica! (She appears, not sure why she was summoned.)
Monica: Wait! What about Joey?
Monica: Okay, good luck!
Monica: I cant believe were living here!
Rachel: Monica, can Phoebe borrow your green dress?
Monica: Hey.
Monica: No, she's out shopping.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are eating breakfast.]
Monica: (entering from her room) Hey, guess what I'm doing this weekend! I'm going to this culinary fair in New Jersey.
Monica: Where were you? We were supposed to meet in the wine cellar?
Monica: We're switching rooms.
Monica: Sweetie, we heard you crying. Please don't cry.
(Monica returns, carrying a glass.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Will has left and the rest of the gang is watching Joey finish the turkey.]
Monica: Wow. Joey, (sarcastically) how do you do it?
Monica: We're switching rooms again.