words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone has just finished Thanksgiving dinner and are groaning over their fullness.]
Rachel: Oh Monica that was the best Thanksgiving dinner ever! I think you killed us.
Phoebe: Monica your remote doesn't work.
Monica: Phoebe, you have to lift it and point.
Monica: That's very nice.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier. Joey is talking about the wonder that is the thong.]
Monica: Is anyone thankful for anything else besides a thong?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: Oh, let's not tell this story.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Phoebe is entering.]
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bastedOh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
Monica: What-what are you doing? Is this supposed to be funny?
Monica: Well, get it off now!
Monica: Well, I don't care! That-that turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not gonna eat it off your head!
Monica: Okay, I got it. Phoebe? All right, you pull. I'm gonna spread the legs as wide as I can. (Joey starts giggling.) Joey? Now is not the time!
Monica: Okay, count to three. 1. 2. 3!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: That's it. That's my worse Thanksgiving.
Monica: Umm, I-I really don't want to tell this story.
Chandler: Oh, come on Monica, reliving past pain and getting depressed is what Thanksgiving is all about. Y'know, for me anyway. And of course, the Indians.
Monica: Look umm, of all people, you do not want me to tell this story!
Mrs. Geller: Monica! I think Rachel's here!
Monica: I'll get it! (She runs in, and she's her old fat self like The One With The Prom Video. Not only that, she's out of breath after running a short distance. She goes over and opens the door to reveal Rachel with her old nose.) Happy Thanksgiving!
Fat Monica: Oh, why? Why? What happened?
Fat Monica: Yeah, yeah, and you were going him y'know, your flower.
Big Nosed Rachel: Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me! (Walks into the living room and greets Monica's parents.) Hi!
Fat Monica: Ross! (Wanting to be introduced.)
Ross: Oh, this is Monica.
Fat Monica: Hi, I'm Ross's little sister.
Fat Monica: Umm, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.
(As she is drinking, Monica laughs and Chandler's joke and Diet Coke comes out of her nose.)
Fat Monica: dammit! (Runs off.)
(Rachel wanders into the kitchen where Monica is making Chandler's dinner.)
Fat Monica: I think his begging days are over now that he's going out with Nancy Branson.
Fat Monica: Call them mom and dad you loser!
Ross: (in a high pitched voice) Monica!
[Time lapse, dinner has finished and Chandler is sitting on the couch eating some pie. Monica sits down beside him, and he gets pushed up a little by the wave she makes in the couch.]
Fat Monica: Hey Chandler! Did you like the macaroni and cheese?
Fat Monica: Okay!
Fat Monica: Oh that's so great!
Fat Monica: Oh gosh, listen if you and Chip do it tonight, promise me you'll tell me everything.
Fat Monica: I know, but y'know, this time you're gonna definitely know whether or not you did it!
(Monica enters behind them.)
(Monica suddenly gets very happy.)
(Upon hearing this, Monica starts to break down and storms out. Only to be stopped by her parents.)
Mrs. Geller: (holding two pies) Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge.
Fat Monica: No. No, thank you!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, back to the present day.]
Monica: Well, I do.
Monica: Yes, it was!
Monica: (interrupting her) Okay, now Thanksgiving's over, let's get ready for Christmas. Who wants to go get a Christmas tree?!
Ross: So uh, where's Monica?
Mrs. Geller: She's upstairs. Monica! Come down! Everyone's here! Ross, Rachel, and the boy who hates Thanksgiving.
(Monica enters, but she forgot something. Oh, about 150 pounds. In other words, she lost weight, big time!)
Monica: Hi, Chandler.
Monica: What-what's the matter? Is there, is there something on my dress? (She turns around making sure he gets a good look.)
Mrs. Geller: Yes, yes Monica is thin. It's wonderful. But what we really want to hear about is Ross's new girlfriend.
Monica: So Chandler, I guess I'll see you at dinner.
Monica: Well it didn't!
Monica: Yeah, I mean yeah, I look great. Yeah, I feel great and yeah, my heart is not in trouble anymore! Blah, blah, blah! Y'know I still don't feel like I got him back, y'know? I just want to humiliate him. I wanna, I want him to be like naked and then I'm going to point at him and laugh!
Monica: How?
Monica: What?! I mean, I didn't work this hard and-and-and lose all this weight so that I can give my flower to someone like him!
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: And when he's naked I can throw him out in the front yard and lock the door and all the neighbors will just humiliate him!
Monica: Okay, so how do I make him think I wanna have sex with him?
Monica: What do you mean?
Monica: (excited) I can do that!
Chandler: Monica, I was wondering if you can make me some of that righteous mac and cheese like last year.
Monica: Umm, I'd love too! (She goes over and picks up the box and decides to follow Rachel's advice and holds the box up to her cheek.) Ooh, I love macaroni and cheese. I love-I love the way this box feels against my cheek.
Monica: Boy, I love carrots! Oh! (She picks up a bunch of them and holds them between her fingers.) Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and-and hold them down here while I talk to you. (She is rubbing her hip with the carrots.) Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife (She picks up a knife without putting the box down. She's holding the box between her cheek and shoulder) and-and umm, I-I put the cold steal against umm, (Pause) my body. (She doesn't have any exposed skin within reach of the knife, so while holding the carrots in one hand and the box between her face and shoulder, she rubs the knife on her stomach.)
Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)
Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)
Monica: What?! What is it?
Monica: God, I'm sorry! I'll go back and get it!
Monica: Wait, no-no-no, I can go really fast! Dad, give me the keys to your Porsche!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is reacting to the story.]
Monica: I didn't mean to cut it off. It was an accident.
Monica: I'm sorry! It wasn't your whole toe!
Monica: Chandler! (Follows him out.)
Monica: Chandler, I said I was sorry.
Monica: Oh wait, Chandler, come here is there anything I can do? Anything?
(There's a knock on the door and Chandler gets up to answer it. He opens the door to reveal Monica with a turkey over her head.)
Monica: Wait, wait, wait! (She puts a Shriner's hat on the turkey.)
Chandler: Look, Monica
Monica: Look! (She puts a big, yellow pair of sunglasses on the bird.)
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
(Monica stops suddenly and turns around slowly.)
Monica: What?
Monica: You said you loved me! I can't believe this!
Monica: Yes, you did!
Monica: You love me!
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
Monica: What are you doing?
Monica: (laughs) Are you sure youre okay?
Monica: Ohh thats sweet!
(Monica strides over to Ross, who is making coffee, and talks to him aside.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering.]
Monica: Hey, its good to see you!
Monica: Hello! Were we at the same table? It's like... cocktails in Appalachia.
Monica: Oh my God, Richard. (Yep, Richards back.)
Monica: (interrupting him) Oh my God!
Monica: Oh God, maybe he wont see us. Richard!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is looking at her beeper still in the pot. She takes it out, shakes it, and puts it back in.]
Monica: Okay, look at this one. This is my favourite. (Its a little pink and white dress for the girl baby.)
Monica: (to Richard) Its good to see you
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is standing at the counter as Monica enters carrying a tray.]
Joey: (Whispering.) Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. Ill cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross.
Monica: Ohh.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler are there as Ross enters and sees Gunther.]
Monica: So maybe they could umm, call the award the Monica?
Monica: I thought you were going out with Elizabeth.
Monica: Shes leaving for three months.
Monica: If the school finds out youre fired.
Chandler: (To Monica) You are beautiful.
Monica: Okay well I think thats your answer.
Monica: Chandler, wh-why dont we sit down?
Monica: Yknow I used to go out with this guy that was a really light sleeper, and whenever I started to snore, he would just roll me over
Phoebe: Oh hey, Monica, I heard you saw Donald Trump at your convention.
Monica: Why do you want to see my hand?
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers new apartment, Chandler is putting something away under the sink.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica are there. Ross is trying to figure out why Phoebe's mad at him.]
[cut to Phoebe and Rachel as Monica returns from the bathroom]
Monica: What are you up too?
Monica: (entering) Hi guys!
Monica: Okay well thats good to know.
[Scene: Monicas Restaurants kitchen, shes cooking as a waitress sticks her head in.]
Monica: Richard!
Monica: All right, thats it, were going to the emergency room.
Monica: Oh, good to see you too. Did you come down here to tell me that?
Monica: What uhWhat did youWhat?!
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant, continued from earlier.]
Mrs. Geller: (pointing to herself and Jack) Well we left ours in Monicas bedroom.
Monica: What the Yes youre too late! Where was all this three years ago?!
Monica: Yknow youre really not supposed to be back here!
Monica: Yeah!
Monica: Why? Because of the government.
Monica: Yeah, but thats pigs not people!
Monica: No, they gave us glasses with lipstick on them! I mean, if they didn't change the glasses, who knows what else they didn't change. (He glares at her.) Come on sweetie, I just want this weekend to be perfect, I mean we can change rooms, can't we?
Monica: So that marriage stuff that you were saying yesterday, you dont really believe that do you?
MONICA: He hates me. My nephew hates me.
Monica: Yknow what?! I gotta go! Ugh!
Monica: So I wouldn't need any, right? Cause I have a straight.
Monica: Im just having one of those days where you realize youre in a dead-end relationship!
Joey: Hey Monica!
Monica: Yeah, its great.
Monica: Dont worry about it Phoebe, well absolutely do it.
Monica: Have you seen Rachel? Or a mirror?
Monica: What?!
Monica: I didnt change!
Monica: And so, were hiding in the bathroom.
Monica: Yeah! Richard!
Monica: Thats right.
Monica: He wanted to tell me hes gonna compete is some ultimate fighting competition thingy.
Joey: Richard told Monica he wants to marry her!
Monica: Hi.
Monica: I dont know.
Monica: Why dont you just weigh out the good stuff about the relationship against the bad stuff. I mean thats what I did when I first (looks at Chandler and pauses) weighing stuff.
Monica: I dont know why Im here.
Monica: No thats, thats okay.
Monica: No.
Monica: (suspiciously) Okay. (Exits to carry out Phoebes wishes.)
Monica: All right, listen up. There is usually only one dress in each size so when they open those doors, fan out. Now, this is what youre looking for! (Holds up a picture of it.) Memorize it! When you locate the dress, blow on these. All right? (She passes out whistles to them.) Three short blasts, when you hear it. Come running.
Monica: Fair? Please dont even talk to me about fair! Fair wouldve been you wanting to marry me back then! Or fair wouldve been Chandler wanting to marry me now! Believe me, nothing about this is fair! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
(Monica takes the bear, grabs his hat, and rips off his head.)
Elizabeth: So uh, Monica is Rosss sister.
Chandler: I cant talk to you now, I gotta find Monica!
(Monica gets down on one knee.)
Monica: Yes.
Monica: Oh
Monica: All right.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are cuddling on the couch.]
Monica: (opening the door) What are you doing?
Ross: Once Monica was sent to her room without dinner, so she ate the macaroni off a jewelry box shed made.
[Cut to Monica out on the balcony.]
[Cut to Monica.]
[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating hes coming to pick up Monica for a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]
Monica: Chandler, youre not fourteen anymore. Okay? Maybe its time that you let that stuff go. If your fathers not at your wedding youre gonna regret it for the rest of your life.
Chandler: To Monica!
Monica: Awww, come onwaitstop it. Okay, to Monica.
Monica: Okay everybody, lets go! Lets go!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is reading Chicken Soup for the Soul as Monica enters.]
Rachel: (To Monica) Yeah, youre on your own.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Thank you Rachel but, look at Monica!
Monica: Yeah, but I dont think we have time.
Monica: (moving over to the couch) Still smoking cigars?
Monica: Phoebe!
Ross: Wow! Happy Monicas night!
Monica: Do you think things would have been better if you'd just told her the truth?
Monica: All right then, when Im done with this place, its gonna be ten times better than that place!
MONICA: Yeah, am I in it?
Monica: (To Rachel) Hey! Dont be a baby!
Monica: Inside of telling us you decided to write in your stupid book!