words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone has just finished Thanksgiving dinner and are groaning over their fullness.]
Rachel: Oh Monica that was the best Thanksgiving dinner ever! I think you killed us.
Phoebe: Monica your remote doesn't work.
Monica: Phoebe, you have to lift it and point.
Monica: That's very nice.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier. Joey is talking about the wonder that is the thong.]
Monica: Is anyone thankful for anything else besides a thong?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: Oh, let's not tell this story.
[Scene: Monica and Phoebe's, Phoebe is entering.]
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Monica: (entering) Hey!
Monica: Hey, did you get the turkey bastedOh my God! Oh my God! (She sees someone is stuck in the turkey.) Who is that?
Monica: What-what are you doing? Is this supposed to be funny?
Monica: Well, get it off now!
Monica: Well, I don't care! That-that turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not gonna eat it off your head!
Monica: Okay, I got it. Phoebe? All right, you pull. I'm gonna spread the legs as wide as I can. (Joey starts giggling.) Joey? Now is not the time!
Monica: Okay, count to three. 1. 2. 3!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Monica: That's it. That's my worse Thanksgiving.
Monica: Umm, I-I really don't want to tell this story.
Chandler: Oh, come on Monica, reliving past pain and getting depressed is what Thanksgiving is all about. Y'know, for me anyway. And of course, the Indians.
Monica: Look umm, of all people, you do not want me to tell this story!
Mrs. Geller: Monica! I think Rachel's here!
Monica: I'll get it! (She runs in, and she's her old fat self like The One With The Prom Video. Not only that, she's out of breath after running a short distance. She goes over and opens the door to reveal Rachel with her old nose.) Happy Thanksgiving!
Fat Monica: Oh, why? Why? What happened?
Fat Monica: Yeah, yeah, and you were going him y'know, your flower.
Big Nosed Rachel: Okay, Monica, can you just call it sex?! It really creeps me out when you call it that! Okay, and by the way, while we're at it, a guy's thing is not called his tenderness. Believe me! (Walks into the living room and greets Monica's parents.) Hi!
Fat Monica: Ross! (Wanting to be introduced.)
Ross: Oh, this is Monica.
Fat Monica: Hi, I'm Ross's little sister.
Fat Monica: Umm, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.
(As she is drinking, Monica laughs and Chandler's joke and Diet Coke comes out of her nose.)
Fat Monica: dammit! (Runs off.)
(Rachel wanders into the kitchen where Monica is making Chandler's dinner.)
Fat Monica: I think his begging days are over now that he's going out with Nancy Branson.
Fat Monica: Call them mom and dad you loser!
Ross: (in a high pitched voice) Monica!
[Time lapse, dinner has finished and Chandler is sitting on the couch eating some pie. Monica sits down beside him, and he gets pushed up a little by the wave she makes in the couch.]
Fat Monica: Hey Chandler! Did you like the macaroni and cheese?
Fat Monica: Okay!
Fat Monica: Oh that's so great!
Fat Monica: Oh gosh, listen if you and Chip do it tonight, promise me you'll tell me everything.
Fat Monica: I know, but y'know, this time you're gonna definitely know whether or not you did it!
(Monica enters behind them.)
(Monica suddenly gets very happy.)
(Upon hearing this, Monica starts to break down and storms out. Only to be stopped by her parents.)
Mrs. Geller: (holding two pies) Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge.
Fat Monica: No. No, thank you!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, back to the present day.]
Monica: Well, I do.
Monica: Yes, it was!
Monica: (interrupting her) Okay, now Thanksgiving's over, let's get ready for Christmas. Who wants to go get a Christmas tree?!
Ross: So uh, where's Monica?
Mrs. Geller: She's upstairs. Monica! Come down! Everyone's here! Ross, Rachel, and the boy who hates Thanksgiving.
(Monica enters, but she forgot something. Oh, about 150 pounds. In other words, she lost weight, big time!)
Monica: Hi, Chandler.
Monica: What-what's the matter? Is there, is there something on my dress? (She turns around making sure he gets a good look.)
Mrs. Geller: Yes, yes Monica is thin. It's wonderful. But what we really want to hear about is Ross's new girlfriend.
Monica: So Chandler, I guess I'll see you at dinner.
Monica: Well it didn't!
Monica: Yeah, I mean yeah, I look great. Yeah, I feel great and yeah, my heart is not in trouble anymore! Blah, blah, blah! Y'know I still don't feel like I got him back, y'know? I just want to humiliate him. I wanna, I want him to be like naked and then I'm going to point at him and laugh!
Monica: How?
Monica: What?! I mean, I didn't work this hard and-and-and lose all this weight so that I can give my flower to someone like him!
Monica: Yeah.
Monica: And when he's naked I can throw him out in the front yard and lock the door and all the neighbors will just humiliate him!
Monica: Okay, so how do I make him think I wanna have sex with him?
Monica: What do you mean?
Monica: (excited) I can do that!
Chandler: Monica, I was wondering if you can make me some of that righteous mac and cheese like last year.
Monica: Umm, I'd love too! (She goes over and picks up the box and decides to follow Rachel's advice and holds the box up to her cheek.) Ooh, I love macaroni and cheese. I love-I love the way this box feels against my cheek.
Monica: Boy, I love carrots! Oh! (She picks up a bunch of them and holds them between her fingers.) Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and-and hold them down here while I talk to you. (She is rubbing her hip with the carrots.) Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife (She picks up a knife without putting the box down. She's holding the box between her cheek and shoulder) and-and umm, I-I put the cold steal against umm, (Pause) my body. (She doesn't have any exposed skin within reach of the knife, so while holding the carrots in one hand and the box between her face and shoulder, she rubs the knife on her stomach.)
Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)
Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)
Monica: What?! What is it?
Monica: God, I'm sorry! I'll go back and get it!
Monica: Wait, no-no-no, I can go really fast! Dad, give me the keys to your Porsche!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is reacting to the story.]
Monica: I didn't mean to cut it off. It was an accident.
Monica: I'm sorry! It wasn't your whole toe!
Monica: Chandler! (Follows him out.)
Monica: Chandler, I said I was sorry.
Monica: Oh wait, Chandler, come here is there anything I can do? Anything?
(There's a knock on the door and Chandler gets up to answer it. He opens the door to reveal Monica with a turkey over her head.)
Monica: Wait, wait, wait! (She puts a Shriner's hat on the turkey.)
Chandler: Look, Monica
Monica: Look! (She puts a big, yellow pair of sunglasses on the bird.)
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
(Monica stops suddenly and turns around slowly.)
Monica: What?
Monica: You said you loved me! I can't believe this!
Monica: Yes, you did!
Monica: You love me!
(Joey walks in and sees Monica. He freaks out and runs back into the hallway, screaming.)
Monica: Hey.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment.]
Monica: Hey.
Monica: Hey!
Monica: No, we haven't seen her since this morning.
Monica: These are for Erica!
Monica: Honey.
[Scene: Chandler and Monica's apartment. Chandler and Monica are looking through some papers.]
Monica: I want you to meet someone really special. Phoebe, this is Erica. And this is the baby!
Monica: Joey. Erica, baby!
Monica: (entering with Erica and Chandler) Hey you guys.
Monica: Youre right. I mean Im sorry. Yeah, I shouldnt be laughing. I should be laying down papers for you! (Runs off laughing which gets Chandler laughing.)
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Chandler: Monica. Calm, self.
Monica: Everyone. Erica, baby!
Monica: (sees what he is doing) Chandler, stop! It is not going to pop open!
Monica: (angry) Ow, what are the chances!
Monica: (enjoying what she's seeing) How's it going?
Monica: (Chandler's laughing) Did someone drop the baton again?
Monica: What is with you?
Monica: How's that now?
Monica: Are you awake?
Erica: Well, if there is anything else you wanna know... (Monica and Chandler look at each other)
Monica: How?
(Time lapse. Chandler and Monica are in bed now)
Monica: Yeah, but maybe we're just over-reacting.
[Scene: The Craps Table, Monica is still on her roll, only this time Chandler's with her and she has a huge crowd of people around.]
(Cut to Monica holding up her shirt, revealing her bra. An actor stands beside her, holding a pen in his hand.)
Monica: Are you kidding? This is where they get out stains! Okay? This is like Disneyland for me. Im-Im gonna be over here watching the dance of the clean shirts. (She points to and walks over to the electric clothes rack they have.)
Monica: William Sonoma, fall catalog, Page 27.
Monica: But what if it is better than ours? Should we at least look?
Monica: That's mine!! Now, would you both please start acting like adults? And get me my cough drops!
Monica: So what! As long as hes not wearing a white dress and a veil I dont care.
Monica: How about you go put on your 007 tuxedo and Ill make you a nice martini.
Monica: Yeah, I changed them. I-I sent you a fax about it!
Monica: (smiling) No it's not.
Monica: The thing we never do.
Monica: Nope, she doesn't have to, I found out who the father is.
Monica: Yeah, you miss alot, when you're moo-ing.
Monica: (her hair bigger then before) I can't believe it's raining again! Oh, it's so unfair!!!
Monica: You were my Midnight Mystery Kisser?
Monica: No, not if their room has two beds!
Monica: No one wanted seconds, right?
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe, Monica and Chandler on their couch.]
Monica: And Dad, yknow that mailman that you got fired? He didnt steal your Playboys! Ross did!
Monica: I don't know who I'm happiest for...
Monica: All right. I know you're not happy about us moving, but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house.
Monica: What?! Are you kidding me?! You-you-you think were ready to have a baby now?!
Monica: See you guys later.
Monica: Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us.
Monica: I do not have baby fever!
Monica & Chandler: Mhum.
Monica: Phoebe!
Monica: You seriously changed your name to that?
Monica: Hey Pheebs.
[Scene: Central Perk. Chandler and Monica are there when Phoebe enters.]
Monica: Okay, so from now on we have to call you Princess Consuela?
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry, mrs Hannigan.
Monica: Oh God. I'm so sorry.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Rachel are on the couch looking at the Playboy magazine. When they hear someone coming, Monica goes to hide it under the sofa cushions.]
Monica: No it's not!
Monica: Thank you for letting us see the house again.
Monica: Ah, so glad you decided to come.
Monica: Joey, we know that's you.
Monica: Okay fine! Fine! Then you know what, Ill just write about Phyllis! Hmm!
Monica: (she tastes what she has cooked) I don't get older. I just get better!
(Chandler gives Monica a footlong "eye dropper" with the turkey grease in it)
Monica: How about at a game, on the big screen?
Monica: Hey, where have you been?
Chandler and Monica: No!
Monica: Joey, now that you're okay with the house, do you wanna go see your room?
Monica: No.
Monica: I guess. Why? Who's she with?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Ross enters.]
Monica: Oh, sorry!
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
Monica: Oh please! Yesterday on the subway? You couldn't stop staring at that woman with the big breasts the whole time.
Monica: I dont believe this! When someone asks you in for lemonade, and to you that means they wanna have sex?
Monica: Im sorry. Ive never had a maid before, is this not okay?
Gary: (looking at Monica.) Mm! Seems like I wouldve remembered you!
Monica: Good. (To Chandler) Uh honey, the Miami Vice soundtrack? Really?
Monica: How is that gonna happen?
Monica: It is going to be okay! (Mrs. Green glances over her shoulder and glares at Monica while she heads for the bathroom.) It was worth a shot.
Monica: That's terrible!
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe's reading a newspaper. Chandler and Monica walk in.]
Monica: Don't worry, after a while he'll tune it out.
Monica: Joey's gonna be *so* upset.
Monica: Seriously, you don't think we should tell him?
Monica: Well, because every time we do, you make jokes about swinging and scare them away.
Monica: What if he reads it in the paper?
Rachel: Oh, big glamour night. Me and Monica at Laundorama.
Monica: Damnit Phoebe! How did you even call him?
Monica: Thanks.
Erica: No, he's in prison. (More shocked looks from Monica and Chandler)
Monica: Love it!
Monica: Well Im not sure yet, but umm of the top of my head Im thinking double sided tape and some sort of luncheon meat.
Chandler (to Monica): Sure.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the whole gang is there including Janice, theyre watching Happy Days.]
(Chandler and Monica are speechless).
Phoebe: I dont know! (frantically points at Monica)