words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is mixing some Thanksgiving treat (Im assuming mashed potatoes) in a bowl.]
Monica: (on phone) Okay, great! Bye. (Hangs up as Chandler enters.) So guess whos coming to Thanksgiving dinner?
Monica: (not amused by Chandlers joke) I miss Rachel. (To Chandler) No, my parents.
[Monica goes to fiddle with something on the table.]
Monica: Yeah, and yknow, if you could not mention to them that we live together, that would be great! (Quickly trying to change subjects), I was thinking we would eat around four.
[Monica goes to the stove.]
Monica: Because they dont know were dating. (Again, trying to quickly change subjects.) Do you think we should eat in the kitchen? (Goes to the sink and the stove to cook.)
Monica: Um, well, I was going to, I-I-I really was. But um, then somewhere, just out of nowhere, I didnt.
Monica: (trying to change subjects, excitedly) So! Dinner in the kitchen around four! Ill see you then. (Pats Chandler on the shoulder and goes into the living room.)
Monica: Well, um, because mainly, um, they dont like you. Im sorry.
Monica: Maybe because you used to be aloof, or that youre really sarcastic, or that, yknow, you joke around all the time. Or that you take off your clothes and throw them on the couch.
Monica: Look, I know that I shouldve told them. I know I shouldnt care what they think. Im sorry.
Monica: You really think thatll work?
Monica: (hugging Chandler) I dont think youll ever get my parents that drunk!
Chandler: Well Monica just told me that they dont.
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Phoebe enters with a paper turkey.]
Phoebe: Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachels dessert is...[about to say bad] so good that I eat all of it. Theres none left for anybody else!
[Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel laugh]
Monica: Nothing.
Monica: No, sweetie, I-I trust you.
Monica: Youre not gonna mess it up.
Rachel: Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butters done?
Monica: Well, its done about two minutes before it looks like that.
Monica: Whoa whoa whoa! Wherere you goin?
Monica: Oh, Janine, the really hot dancer girl?
Monica: Youre not gonna go anywhere, you said you were gonna eat here, and youre gonna eat here!
Monica: Dad [kisses Jack], Mom [kisses Judy]. Look! Look who it is its Chandler!
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Mr. Geller: Monica, all this food looks wonderful, you should think about doing this for a living.
[Monica rushes over to Chandlers side.]
Monica: Dad, Chandler was just laughing at your joke.
Phoebe: Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And its making me look at him totally differently. Yknow, I mean he used to be just, yknow Jack Geller Monica and Rosss dad and now hes hes Jack Geller, dream hunk."
[Time lapse. Ross and Joey are cleaning the table while Judy and Phoebe talk by the window. Jack and Chandler are sitting on the couch while Monica sits on the coffee table.]
Monica: Yknow dad, Chandler is one of Rosss very best friends!
[Chandler and Monica exchange worried looks.]
[Ross and Judy enter the living room. Judy and Ross sit down on the couch beside Jack. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the coffee table.]
Monica: Mom, uh, Chandler was just saying how beautiful your sweater is.
Chandler: Oh, yes. Well its very beautiful. Its cream-colored and tight [Realizes what he just said and looks worried. Monica and Ross also looked shocked. Judy and Jack give Chandler a very dirty look.] I dont mean tight, I mean its not too tight, not that I was looking at-[giving up all hope, he puts his head into his hands.]
Monica: (shocked) What?
[Scene: Rachels Old Bedroom, Continued from earlier. Monica enters the room.]
Monica: Mom and dad just sent me in here to find out if you (points to Chandler) were trying to get Ross stoned!
Monica: Ross, I cant believe youd do that!
Monica: You! Its not like its a big deal! You-you dont still do it or anything!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
Monica: Dad, please dont pick your teeth out here! Alright, and if youre gonna put your feet up, why dont you sit on the-
Phoebe: Monica, leave him alone!
[Monica gives Phoebe a surprised expression and goes over to Ross and Chandler.]
[Chandler and Monica are by the window pressuring Ross to tell his parents the truth.]
Monica: Ross, if you dont tell them, then I will!
[Monica and Chandler make What was that? gestures. Joey and Ross go into Rachels old room.]
[Inside Monica and Chandlers. Joey is almost done explaining the situation to everyone.]
Rachel: Alright, Monica, I want you to have the first taste.
Monica: Really?
[Rachel hands Monica a plate. Monica takes a spoonful of the whipped cream portion.]
Monica: Okay.
[Monica takes a bigger spoonful and a pea falls off]
[Monica puts the pea on top of the spoonful and takes a bite.]
Monica: (faking joy. Rubbing her stomach and smiling at the same time, like Joey said) Mmmm! Its good!
Monica: Its so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one whos eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross.
[Ross glares at Monica.]
Mrs. Geller: (lying) Ive gotta call my friend Mary and tell her how good this is, from Monicas room.
[Jack and Judy exit to Monicas room.]
Monica: (again, lying) Im gonna go into the bathroom so I can look at it in the mirror, as I eat it.
[Monica exits to the bathroom.]
[Jack and Judy come out of Monicas room and sit down on the couch.]
[Rachel and Phoebe walk into the kitchen. Monica comes out of the bathroom and goes over to Ross.]
Monica: Ross? Lets go.
Monica: Alright, you know what? Thats it. Youve had your chance.
Monica: (out loud, to her parents) Mom! Dad! Ross smoked pot in college!
Ross: (in a 5 year olds tone) (To Monica) You are such a tattletale! Mom, Dad, you remember that-that time you walked in my room and smelled marijuana?
Monica: And Dad, yknow that mailman that you got fired? He didnt steal your Playboys! Ross did!
Ross: Yeah, well, Hurricane Gloria didnt break the porch swing, Monica did!
[The Gellers glare at Monica.]
Monica: Ross hasnt worked at the museum for a year!
Ross: Monica and Chandler are living together!
[The Gellers glare at Monica, shocked]
[Monica and Chandler both are shocked. Ross gives Monica a take that! look.]
Monica: Ross married Rachel in Vegas! And got divorced! Again!!!!
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Everyone is helping clean the table.]
Monica: Well actually, I-I didnt eat mine. Its still in the bathroom.
Mrs. Geller: (pointing to herself and Jack) Well we left ours in Monicas bedroom.
Monica: You went to one where you were popular, and you got to ride off Chips motorcycle, and wear his letterman jacket. I went to one where I wore a band uniform they had to have specially made.
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]
Monica: Okay, Im never gonna wear them again. I just didnt get a chance to say goodbye.
Monica: Okay. (When Phoebe turns around Monica runs out into the hall after Mrs. Green.) Mrs. Green! Okay Im really sorry!! Im apologizing for the(She trips and falls down the stairs.) (Pause) Okay, I bit my tongue, but Im still really sorry!
Monica: I mean, all Im asking for is just a little emotion! Is that too much to ask after six years?! I mean what? Are-are-are Rachel and I not as close as you guys?! I mean do we not have as much fun?! Dont I deserve a few tears?!! I mean we-we told Joey, he cried his eyes out!
Chandler: Monica got ice in her eye, and it hurts.
Phoebe: No he wont. And thats not even the point! Monica, I made a whole speech about you do not cancel plans with friends! And now yknow what? Just because, potentially, the love of my life comes back from Russia just for one night, I-I should change my beliefs?! I should change beliefs! No! No! No, if I dont have my principles, I dont have anything!
Monica: Oh, my fiancee wants the Swing Kings.
Monica: Phoebe! You kinda caught me at a bad time.
CHANDLER: It's Joey.� (He answers it, holding it out so that Monica can hear too.)� Hey Joe.
Monica: Well sure! I'm just wearing sweats! (Looking at Chandler and slowly realizing what his point is.) But that's good that you're not in love with me, because you just want a girlfriend!
Monica: That’s crazy! (Phoebe looks bewildered). I am sorry. I just can’t imagine giving up my one wedding day like that!
Phoebe: No but, why does that have to be a bad thing. Just change what it means. Y'know? Go down there and prove your Mother wrong. Finish the job you were hired to do, and well call that pulling a Monica.
Monica: (very serious) It's 2101 and I am not amused. (pause). Ok, the bride and groom have a few words they'd like to say. (Everyone sits and Phoebe gets up)
Monica: (noticing Rachel crawling behind the couch) Rach? What are you doing?
Monica: What?! Are you crazy? You just had Rosss baby! Its-its so inappropriate. No, its worse than that. Its wrong. Its It is bigger than mine! (Rachels engagement ring.)
Monica: And he came at us with an axe, so Rachel had to use a bug bomb on him!
[Flashback to 716 - TOW The Truth About London] [Scene: London, Chandler's hotel room. He was getting ready for bed when Monica pays him a visit and they started talking]
Monica: This bicep?
Monica: You just stay here! (Dumps a jar of bath salts in the bathtub)
Monica: Of course it was! Trust me, when it comes to psychology I know what I'm talking about. I took two psych classes in college.
Monica: Here, let me make the milk, Im up anyway.
Monica: Is that why he's acting so weird...? He's jealous...? Oh my God, that is crazy. It's not like I'm attracted to Geoffrey...
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
Monica: (sits next to him) Phoebe, its okay that you dont want me to be your girlfriend because I have the best boyfriend.
Monica: Now everybody knows the basic erogenous zones. (She starts labelling them) You got one, two three, four (Chandler is shocked to find out theres more than three), five, six, and seven!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Monica, and Joey are sitting at the table eating dinner and not talking. Ross and Rachel are outside cuddling on the balcony.]
[Scene: The hospital. Monica and Chandler are holding the twins, while two nurses are taking care of Erica.]
Monica: Right. Till I bought a blow dryer, then I was shunned.
Ross: You guys, just please.. a little bit longer. I promise, Rachel will be back with the cake any minute. Monica, remember.. the frosting? huh?
MONICA: Oh my God, I can't believe what I'm getting ready to say. I wanna have a baby, but I don't wanna have one with someone who doesn't really wanna have one.
[Scene: The Rehearsal Dinner, Chandler and Monica are greeting guests as they arrive. A woman enters.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are picking up Ben, while Monica is pouring chocolate syrup, lots of it, into her ice cream.]
Monica: (coming out of the bedroom) You jerk! You know how much I love that kid! (starts to chase Ross around the living room)
Chandler: I was not staring at her. Okay? I was just listening intently. Its called being a good conversationalist. Watch. (Stares at Monicas eyes.) Say something.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Ross: Youre never gonna believe it uh, Monica and Chandler are moving in again. Thats great news rightI mean for them. Right?
Monica: Yeah and you better watch the flirting too, cause you know, in such close quarters, it could be trouble.
Ross: You got it! (Monica leaves, Ross closes the door). All right, she's right, we gotta get serious. (He grabs a bag of styrofoam peanuts) Let's put styrofoam peanuts down his pants and kick him!
Monica: (entering from bedroom) Okay, Ill be back in just a minute. Oh, Phoebe Im sorry that I left lipstick marks on the phone.
Monica: The woman from the museum called and said that there was a cancellation and that we could move up our wedding and Chandler heard! (Phoebe gasps.) I know! How bad is this?!
Monica: Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So
Monica: Joey is gonna be a celebrity guest on a game show!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel and Ross are in the kitchen. Phoebe is sitting at the couch with oven mits on her hands.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still looking out the window as Joey enters.]
(Monica helps Rachel over to a vacant seat.)
Monica: Oh umm, how about your mom dying, or having to live on the streets when you were 14?
Monica: No-no, don't-don't-don't do it!
(They run for Phoebe's purse, Phoebe gets there first and takes the cell. Monica tries to take it away from her)
Monica: Come on guys! Suck it up! We're closing in on ten hours! It's gut-check time!
Chandler: That's not true. I came with Monica and I'm leaving with Weird Al.
[Cut to the hallway, Janine is entering as Monica is taking out the garbage.]
[Scene: An Empty Hospital Room, Chandler and Monica enter.]
Monica: Or! A bakery delivery person.
[Scene: The hospital, Chandler and Monica are there with Phoebe as Ross enters.]
Monica: Honey, what is the Bruce Springsteen CD in the Kat Stevens case?
CHANDLER: Don't you think it's better for him to think that you're cheating on me, than for him to think that I'm cheating on him?� (Monica tips her head slightly as if asking "Did you hear yourself?")� I heard it.
Monica: He was in Rosss class marching band kinda overweight? Well, really overweight. I mean I was his thin friend.
Monica: Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might (Turns to look at Ross) end up hurting.
Monica: Okay! Okay! We can take a hint! (They start to leave but run into Phoebe with her guy in tow.) (To Phoebe) What are you doing here?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are listening to a story being told by Danny and his sister.]
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
Monica: Oh, whatd ya bring me?! (She opens the gift) Awww, hotel toiletries from Japan. Oh, these are gonna go in my permanent collection. You want some coffee?
Agency guy: (he enters with Erica) Monica, Chandler. I'd like you to meet Erica.
Monica: No! No you should! A lot of major actors do nude scenes! I mean the chance to star in a movie? Come on!
Monica: Hey, its Phoebe and Rachel. Um, why dont you tell them what you were telling me earlier about me not being high maintenance?
Monica: Because I don't work at the Szechwan Dragon.
Monica: (rolling towards the office) Im quitting!! Woo-hoo! (She rolls through a doorway and out of sight. We then hear a big crash, and see Monica roll past the door the other way.) Im okay!! Im all right!!
Monica: Oh, look! Acting for Beginners! Want to feel good about yourself?
Monica: So I made snacks. Please, just hang out okay? Im just gonna rest my eyes just a little bit.
Monica: But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do.
Monica: Ugh, I knew giving you that book was gonna come back and bite me in the ass!
Monica: Well, Ive tried everything. I give up. I guess Im not gonna be the mom who makes the worlds best chocolate cookies. I do make the best duck confit with broccoli rabe. Kids love that right.
Monica: Okay, Joey's doing the ceremony and Chandler's giving you away.
Monica: Im gonna go tell Joey that (laughs) that youre back. I was really worried about you. (Exits.)
Monica: Wait a minute! Now Im betting against all three of you?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler is pacing and Rachel walks in.]
Monica: Im making a list of all the things that are most likely to go wrong at the wedding. Now, that way I can be prepared.
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Monica: Well, this is the last box of your clothes. I’m just gonna label it, "What were you thinking?"
Monica: Thanks. Like, check out my new catering stuff. (Picks up two frying pans) Look at this! I'm an omelet station! Omelet? Made to order!
Monica: Oh, please, stop! Look, we're supposed to be honest with each other. I-I just wish you could tell mejust say, "I don't like your massages."
Joey: (jumping up in a hole that he is digging, he is shoulder deep) Hey, you guys! Take a look at this! (Chandler and Monica jump up and go over to the hole.) Check this baby out, dug me a hole!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandlers bachelor party has begun, what there is of it, with only Joey (wearing a gold paper top hat) and Chandler (wearing what appears to be a Burger King paper crown) enjoying a nice product placement of Budweisers on ice.]
Phoebe: Okay umm, well, first Chandler and Monica will get married and be filthy rich by the way. Yeah. But it wont work out.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Joey, Phoebe, and Chandler are looking through Monica's high school yearbook]
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
Monica: Ohh. (Rubs her fake stomach.)
Monica: Youre right, youre right I shouldnt freak out. Cause this is what will happen when you and I have babies! When will that be?!
Monica: Tea gives Phoebe the trots.
Monica and Phoebe: No-wait-no-no!!!!!!!
Monica: I thought it might be true. And I was afraid that you were gonna cry and then show it to me.
Monica: (In am uneasy voice.) Nope. (She chuckles uneasily.)
MONICA: My stock, MEG, it went up 2 points. Hey guys, do you realize that if I had invested my $127 in myself yesterday that I'd like have...a lot more than that today. Ya know what, I'm gonna do it.
Monica: (Reading) 'A Woman Undone, by Rachel Karen Green'.
Monica: (having the same problem) You're the best friend I ever had.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is working on the seating chart while Chandler looks on and Rachel reads.]
Monica: Aww, sweetie, but its not like youre not gonna have anything. Youre gonna have nieces and nephews, and some ways thats even better.
Chandler: Eh, theyre both good. I generally just go with, Monicas drunk again. (Monica glares at him.)
[Scene: A Bridal Shop, Phoebe and Rachel are waiting for Monica who is trying on her wedding dress.]