words in movies
(Ross goes into the room where Dr. Green is laying unconscious. He turns on the TV, puts his feet on the bed and starts watching a dinosaur movie where the dinosaur is caught by two cowboys. Dr. Geller awakes.)
Chandler: Well, the movie was great, dinner was great, and theres nothing like a cool, crisp New York evening.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Rachel: Why aren't you guys at the movie?
Phoebe: Well, same thing we did all day, hang out at Gary's apartment. He is so amazing, we never left the bedroom. But have fun at the movie.
Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie.
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
Monica: (That annoying competitiveness thing kicks in again, what the heck is that with her and why must the writers show it every flippin' episode?!) Oh, we're not seeing a movie!
Rachel: All right honey, we'd better go if we wanna catch that movie.
Past Life Phoebe: More bandages! More bandages! Please, can I get some more bandages in here! This man is dying(She is cut off by an exploding shell just outside the tent. When the smoke clears, she's missing an arm and the blood is pumping out like you'd see in a horror movie. And upon seeing her condition, she says ) Oh no.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is trying to write his movie, Chandler is playing a game on the counter by trying to flip a ping pong ball with a spoon into a nearby bowl.]
Phoebe: So, what movie should we see?
RACHEL: C'mon, I'm not saying it was a bad movie, I'm just saying, you know, it was a little. . . hard to follow.
Ross: Hey listen I uh, talked to Chandler, sorry about the movie.
Joey: Is this movie gonna be my big break?
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
Monica: Phoebe, do you want to go see a movie after dinner tonight?
Rachel: Oh but Phoebe, were gonna be late for the movie.
Monica: Joey, what's it like on a movie set, huh? Do you have a dressing room? Do you have a chair with your name on it?
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Joey: Look, come on you guys, you said you were gonna try! All right look, I came over here to invite you guys to a movie with me and Janine.
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Joey: My Giant? I love that movie!
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is...
Phoebe: Sorry, mix up. Hey, how was the movie?
Monica: Hey, waitwait, aren't you the guy that plays the butt in the new Al Pacino movie?
Chandler: Hey, so where are we staying? Is the movie putting us up in a big hotel suite?
Chandler: They're not even paying ya! This doesn't even sound like a real movie!
Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are watching a movie.]
Joey: (holds up the movie) Phoebes a porn star!
Chandler: So you don't get paid unless the movie makes money?
Chandler: Okay, so if an eight comes up, we take it as a sign and we do it! {Whoa! Where have I heard that before? Matthew Perry talking about signs in Las Vegas. I guess it must've been some movie I saw.} What do you say?
Ross: I had to talk loud because the movie was loud!
Joey: They uh director. Uhh, her. (Points to an old woman standing behind him. Who glares at him and walks off.) All right, all right, it's not a gladiator movie. I work here.
Roger: That's tough. Tough stuff. C'mon, Pheebs, we're gonna catch that movie, we gotta get going.
Chandler: So you knew we were gonna miss the movie!
Joey: Chandler, is that (Mimes someone using a movie camera and Chandler nods yes.)
[Scene: It's an old home movie of the Geller's backyard, young Ross is dressed up as Bea, and pouring himself/herself some tea.]
Rachel: All right honey, we'd better go if we wanna catch that movie.
Joey: Oh, its a poster for that World War I movie that Im in, check it out.
Dana: Absolutely! But you-you would really feel better about me rejecting you if your actor friend can audition for my movie?
Joey: All right, so we should go catch our movie.
Rachel: Hi! Well, we were just about to take off and see a movie. Oh no!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Rachel are returning from a movie.]
Rachel: Yeah actually, I think were gonna take off too. We rented a movie.
Phoebe: Oh! I wont say, no to a movie!
Phoebe: Hey oh, Rach wait! Do you want to go to a movie tonight?
Joey: Okay. Okay, so Im writing you a check for So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal right? How do you clear this thing?
Joey: They want me to be totally naked in the movie!
Monica: Oh. Well then way to go you big movie star!
Phoebe: The movie?
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is getting his make-up touched up as Richard approaches.]
TRAINER: Hey don't take it personal, he's under a lot of pressure, ya know, starring in a movie and all.
Ross: Uhh, not much. You guys want to see a movie tonight?
Chandler: I see, but once you get your first paycheck you'll be springing a big hotel suite, right? I mean, lead in a movie, they must be paying you a lot?
Joey: Nothing, Im just practicing blowing you off because Im gonna be a big movie star!
(Ross stands next to him for a second, then goes and watches the movie.)
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
Phoebe: Wanna go see a movie?
Joey: No. (Phoebe grabs the receipt and shows it to Joey who gets mad.) I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill!
Rachel: Oh. Do you want to watch the rest of the movie with me?
Joey: No. No. But Ill go see a normal person movie with ya.
Rachel: Hi! Hey, remember how last night we were talking about that movie Cujo?
ROSS: Actually it's the movie theatre that has the time schedule. So you don't miss the beginning.
Chandler: no I'm not quite sure you got the right movie that's all.
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Monica: Star in a movie.
Phoebe: Thats a great movie. <she claps>
Joey: Oh, its this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. Its really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next, next Martin Scorcese.
Phoebe: There's your movie! <claps>
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Phoebe: (shocked) Oh, well, it's a shame that you-that you miss the movie 'cause we were gonna see, you know, either "Liar, Liar" or "Betrayal", or... "An Affair To Remember".
[Scene: The Movie Set, Richard and Joey are doing a scene.]
Joey: Ha-ha, very funnyLook! I dont know what to do! I really want you guys to get along. Just please come to the movie with us. I mean you owe me!
Joey: Dont you see what this means?! I can forget about that stupid movie. I'm gonna be a millionaire!
Chandler: Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge.
Rachel: Yknow, I never thought Id say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. (Joey brings over a stool at sits on it next to Rachel whos in the big chair.) What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Mike and Phoebe seem to have finished watching a movie on television.]
[Scene: Elizabeth Hornswoggle's apartment; Ross is there on his date with her. They are sitting on the couch watching a movie. Ross is obviously hot.]
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason.
Mike: That must have been one lousy movie.
Monica: Hey, you wanna go to see a movie?
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is...
Chandler: Did that movie ever get made?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are watching a movie as Chandler comes in from his bedroom.]
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Joey is approaching one of the blackjack tables on his quest to make enough money for his movie.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Cassie and Ross are watching a movie and Cassie is pouring Ross some more wine as Ross has his hands full with the glass and holding the bowl of popcorn in his lap.]
Ross: I'm sorry, man. Hey, y'know what you should do? You should make something happen for yourself. Y'know, like-like write a play. Write a movie! Huh? I mean, what about those Good Will Hunting guys?
Monica: Mhm, helpful brother - creepy loner at teen movie.
Joey: Oh well listen, anyway shes directing the new Al Pacino movie. You gotta get me an audition!
Joey: (going over and picking up the rod) Thats all right. Hey you guys, you know whats going to be great about the fishing trip this year? When my dad gets me out in the middle of the lake and gives me that, "Joey, what are you doing with your life?" stuff. I can say, "Well, Im doing a movie with Charlton Heston dad. What are you doing with your life?"
Joey: Hey Chandler! Yknow that girl you went to college with who-who became a movie director?
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Chandler: Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?
Chandler: Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! (Monica hangs up) I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go (starts typing something).
Joey: (on phone) Uh huh.. uh huh... oh my God! Okay! Okay, I'll be there! (He hangs up and to all.) That was my agent. (He tosses and catches the phone.) My agent has just gotten me a job...in the new Al Pacino movie!
Joey: Oh great! Yknow I wouldve been perfect for this part, but whatever! Yknow, thanks for making a bad decision and ruining your movie! Good day! (Starts to leave.)
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey and Richard are in the middle of a scene. They are both holding swords.]