words in movies
Ross: (sarcastic) And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie!
Joey: Look, come on you guys, you said you were gonna try! All right look, I came over here to invite you guys to a movie with me and Janine.
Monica: Hey, waitwait, aren't you the guy that plays the butt in the new Al Pacino movie?
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is...
Phoebe: Sorry, mix up. Hey, how was the movie?
Joey: My Giant? I love that movie!
Chandler: They're not even paying ya! This doesn't even sound like a real movie!
Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big!
Chandler: Hey, so where are we staying? Is the movie putting us up in a big hotel suite?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe are watching a movie.]
Chandler: So you don't get paid unless the movie makes money?
Joey: Chandler, is that (Mimes someone using a movie camera and Chandler nods yes.)
Joey: (holds up the movie) Phoebes a porn star!
Ross: I had to talk loud because the movie was loud!
Chandler: Okay, so if an eight comes up, we take it as a sign and we do it! {Whoa! Where have I heard that before? Matthew Perry talking about signs in Las Vegas. I guess it must've been some movie I saw.} What do you say?
Joey: They uh director. Uhh, her. (Points to an old woman standing behind him. Who glares at him and walks off.) All right, all right, it's not a gladiator movie. I work here.
Chandler: So you knew we were gonna miss the movie!
Rachel: All right honey, we'd better go if we wanna catch that movie.
Roger: That's tough. Tough stuff. C'mon, Pheebs, we're gonna catch that movie, we gotta get going.
Rachel: Hi! Well, we were just about to take off and see a movie. Oh no!
[Scene: It's an old home movie of the Geller's backyard, young Ross is dressed up as Bea, and pouring himself/herself some tea.]
Joey: Oh, its a poster for that World War I movie that Im in, check it out.
Rachel: Yeah actually, I think were gonna take off too. We rented a movie.
Joey: All right, so we should go catch our movie.
Dana: Absolutely! But you-you would really feel better about me rejecting you if your actor friend can audition for my movie?
Phoebe: Oh! I wont say, no to a movie!
Phoebe: The movie?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ross and Rachel are returning from a movie.]
Joey: Okay. Okay, so Im writing you a check for So you fell asleep during my movie. Big deal right? How do you clear this thing?
Joey: They want me to be totally naked in the movie!
Phoebe: Hey oh, Rach wait! Do you want to go to a movie tonight?
Monica: Oh. Well then way to go you big movie star!
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is getting his make-up touched up as Richard approaches.]
Chandler: I see, but once you get your first paycheck you'll be springing a big hotel suite, right? I mean, lead in a movie, they must be paying you a lot?
TRAINER: Hey don't take it personal, he's under a lot of pressure, ya know, starring in a movie and all.
(Ross stands next to him for a second, then goes and watches the movie.)
Ross: Uhh, not much. You guys want to see a movie tonight?
[Cut to later in that episode. Rachel and Phoebe are going to a movie from Monica and Chandlers, and as Phoebe walks by Chandler she pinches him on the butt and exits.]
Joey: No. No. But Ill go see a normal person movie with ya.
Rachel: Oh. Do you want to watch the rest of the movie with me?
Joey: No. (Phoebe grabs the receipt and shows it to Joey who gets mad.) I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill!
Rachel: Hi! Hey, remember how last night we were talking about that movie Cujo?
Phoebe: Wanna go see a movie?
Monica: Star in a movie.
ROSS: Actually it's the movie theatre that has the time schedule. So you don't miss the beginning.
Joey: Nothing, Im just practicing blowing you off because Im gonna be a big movie star!
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Phoebe: Thats a great movie. <she claps>
Chandler: no I'm not quite sure you got the right movie that's all.
Phoebe: There's your movie! <claps>
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Phoebe: (shocked) Oh, well, it's a shame that you-that you miss the movie 'cause we were gonna see, you know, either "Liar, Liar" or "Betrayal", or... "An Affair To Remember".
Joey: Oh, its this big budget period movie about these three Italian brothers who come to America around the turn of the century. Its really classy! Oh, and the director is supposed to be the next, next Martin Scorcese.
Rachel: Yknow, I never thought Id say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. (Joey brings over a stool at sits on it next to Rachel whos in the big chair.) What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me.
Joey: Ha-ha, very funnyLook! I dont know what to do! I really want you guys to get along. Just please come to the movie with us. I mean you owe me!
Chandler: Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Richard and Joey are doing a scene.]
Monica: Hey, you wanna go to see a movie?
Joey: Dont you see what this means?! I can forget about that stupid movie. I'm gonna be a millionaire!
[Scene: Elizabeth Hornswoggle's apartment; Ross is there on his date with her. They are sitting on the couch watching a movie. Ross is obviously hot.]
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. Mike and Phoebe seem to have finished watching a movie on television.]
Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason.
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Joey is approaching one of the blackjack tables on his quest to make enough money for his movie.]
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
Ross: Correct. Her actual favorite movie is...
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Phoebe are watching a movie as Chandler comes in from his bedroom.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Cassie and Ross are watching a movie and Cassie is pouring Ross some more wine as Ross has his hands full with the glass and holding the bowl of popcorn in his lap.]
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
Mike: That must have been one lousy movie.
Chandler: Did that movie ever get made?
Joey: Hey Chandler! Yknow that girl you went to college with who-who became a movie director?
Joey: (going over and picking up the rod) Thats all right. Hey you guys, you know whats going to be great about the fishing trip this year? When my dad gets me out in the middle of the lake and gives me that, "Joey, what are you doing with your life?" stuff. I can say, "Well, Im doing a movie with Charlton Heston dad. What are you doing with your life?"
Ross: I'm sorry, man. Hey, y'know what you should do? You should make something happen for yourself. Y'know, like-like write a play. Write a movie! Huh? I mean, what about those Good Will Hunting guys?
Monica: Mhm, helpful brother - creepy loner at teen movie.
Joey: Oh well listen, anyway shes directing the new Al Pacino movie. You gotta get me an audition!
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Joey: Oh great! Yknow I wouldve been perfect for this part, but whatever! Yknow, thanks for making a bad decision and ruining your movie! Good day! (Starts to leave.)
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey and Richard are in the middle of a scene. They are both holding swords.]
Chandler: Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! (Monica hangs up) I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go (starts typing something).
Joey: (on phone) Uh huh.. uh huh... oh my God! Okay! Okay, I'll be there! (He hangs up and to all.) That was my agent. (He tosses and catches the phone.) My agent has just gotten me a job...in the new Al Pacino movie!
Chandler: Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?
Monica: No! No you should! A lot of major actors do nude scenes! I mean the chance to star in a movie? Come on!
(Joey has made a little home movie that's his big scene. He braces himself against the door to his apartment and while holding a plastic gun and wearing the same sweater says )
Rachel: Hey Mon, what are you doing now? Wanna come see a movie with us?
(They all run over to Joey and Ross, Chandler grabs the movie and reads the title.)
Joey: Look listen, that TV movie I went in for? Did you hear anything? I think I got a shot at it.
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is reporting for work.]
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, the movie is ending and it takes the applause to wake up Chandler.]
Wayne: C.H.E.E.S.E. is right here. (He puts on his headset, picks up the controller, and wheels C.H.E.E.S.E. in. C.H.E.E.S.E. is just a plain old robot on tracks; he kinda looks like No. 5 in the movie Short Circuit.)
(The movie starts, its a vampires lair and Buffay, The Vampire Layer enters dressed in leather and carrying a wooden stake. Suddenly, the vampire opens his coffin and sits up.
Joey: Well, the movie got shutdown because they ran out of money, so I'm working here 'til it starts up again, if it ever does.
Fake Monica: I-I used to be just like you. And then one day I saw a movie that changed my life. Did you ever see Dead Poets' Society?
Ross: Hey, is Chandler here? We talked about catching a movie.
Joey: (entering, depressed) Hey. I just got off the phone with Estelle and guess what. (Pause, then very excitedly) I GOT THE LEAD IN A MOVIE!!!!!!
Amy: no, no, then I would get the baby. I mean you know it would be just like a movie. Like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, then I would rise to the occasion and and then I would get a makeover and then I'd get married.
[Scene: Inside Joeys Premiere, he is intently watching the movie.]
Ross: No-no, I took them from the hotel lobby. Yeah, they think they can charge me for some dirty movie and a bag of Mashuga nuts, they got another think coming. (Starts to leave.) Hey! My sweater! Ive been looking for this for like a month!
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is walking up to the director, pleading with him to let him go.]
[Scene: Filming a scene from the movie. Joey is dying on a gurney, Van Damme is looking over him.]
The Casting Director: Terrific! Well uh, theres one more thing. Uhh, uh its really important to the director that everything in this movie is authentic. Yeah and so in your love scene with Sarah she talks about how shes never seen a naked man who wasnt Jewish. So (Laughs.)
Joey: What? Were you like in the movie, or Anyway, she takes off her bra under her shirt and pulls it out the sleeve. Very sexy, and classy.