words in movies
(Music starts playing yes you know what kind of music )
[In slow motion, as some haunty demonic music plays in the background, Joey throws the ball in, Chandler quits playing and goes for his Chinese food. Joey smacks the ball really hard, shooting it down the table. Chandler slowly takes a bite, the ball bounces off of the wall, heads back up the table, and scores the goal for Chandler.]
Phoebe: Oh! No problem! I (Cassie emerges from the bathroom and we once again visit slow motion Barry White background music land with the sexy hair-flipping thing going on, only this time Phoebe is entranced. For more information on Denise Richards you can visit your local library or look her up on the Internet at her official website at www.deniserichards.com.)
Rachel: Everybody? Shh, shhh. Uhhh... Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay.
Phoebe: Ok, ok, how many of you enjoyed the music outside? (a few people raise their hands) Ha!
Monica: Excuse us! (then to Phoebe) Alright here's a question: Who was so worried about her restaurant being fancy that she made a big deal about her friend playing her music and feels really bad about it now? (raises her hand)
(Music starts)
ROSS: OK, got the music, got the dinner. Oh and check it out, I made Marcel's favorite dish, banannacake.
Monica: I will! But not tonight. For dinner music, I thought we could listen to that tape you made me.
Ross: 'The hills were alive with the sound of music.'
Rachel: Okay, what? What is too sensitive? (There's music coming from the living room. Ross opens the door to the living room and he and Rachel see Sandy play a song for Emma on his recorder. Rachel is moved by this, but Ross only sees his point proven again, and walks back into the kitchen, angrily. The door he was holding, swings back and hits Rachel.)
CHANDLER: Work on your music?
[video starts with the cheesy porn disco music]
Monica: You know what? I take back what I said before. You keep playing at the restaurant, because with your music driving people inside, my bar sales are going up like crazy.
MNCA: Sure, what? Ok, ok. [hangs up the phone] [to Rachel] Music?
ROSS: [spreads the pelt on the floor] OK, now, sit. OK. [he starts the music system]
Monica: This is me in The Sound of Music. See the von Trapp kids?
ROSS: Oh, you know, I'm just gonna, I'm gonna hang out, work on my music.
Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
Rachel: Music. Very nice.
(He starts to play music.)
Joey: Sure, it looks stupid now, there's no music playing.
ROB: I don't know anything about music, but I think you're really, really great.
Phoebe: Oh no. No-no-no, dont do that! How could I live with myself if I knew I was depriving the world of your music.
Monica: Please, could you just try it for me? Come on, I used all my best stuff! I-I-I lit some candles. I put on some music. I used bath salts, plus bubble bath! And got you this little plastic Navy ship. So its a boy bath!
(Cue up the music as they move in and kiss. This time I think it's Perry Como, but I'm not sure. It's Everybody loves somebody, sometime! Everybody falls in love somehow! Something in your kiss, just told me, my sometime, is now!)
Monica: All right, that's a little sketch of the cake, umm some sample menus, umm y'know what I thought we would start out with Tuscan style finger food, and for music, here's an alphabetized list of all my CDs! I've highlighted the ones that would go really good with the food.
Chandler: I'm gonna put on some music.
(Monica is dancing. At first she seems insecure and moves slowly, but then gets into the groove and swings her hips from side to side while holding her hands up. She then eats the last piece of pizza she was holding and again moves her hips from side to side, pushing her hands in the air in beat with the music. Her moves get more wildly while she's snapping her fingers. She loses balance and falls back onto a pink bean bag.)
Chandler: You mean like, music?
Phoebe: ( in a soothing voice) Relax every muscle in your body. Listen to the plinky-plunky music. Okay, now close you eyes, and think of a happy place. Okay, tell me your happy place.
Phoebe: Come on, play that funky music white boy.
Joey: Maybe! (To Bobby) Well! Well so-so uh, what kind of music does Numb NutsOh forget it! I cant!
Phoebe: (to her date) Okay, and then this is the coffee house. This is where I play my music. (points to the stage)
Phoebe: (in a nasally voice, from her cold) But I'm unemployed, my music is all I really have now. Well music, and making my own shoes. (She puts her shoe on the table, and it's horribly decorated) Pretty, huh? (Sneezes)
Director: Heres whats gonna happen. The musics gonna start, youre gonna dance, were gonna tape, you dont look at the camera. Any questions?
Chandler: Dude, you have got to turn on Behind the Music. The band Heart is having a really tough time, and I think they may break up.
Rachel: Oh yeah. Right. So now, aredo you, do you still do music?
Monica: You know how much I love listening to your music, you know, but...
Phoebe: Since when are you into swing music?
DR. BURKE: No no, it, it's fine, believe me. I do it too. I always answer with the 'I'm OK' head bob. [demonstrates] 'I'm OK.' [tilts head] 'You sure?' [bobs head] 'Yeah, I'm fine.' Hey listen, I've got to set up the music. I got a new CD changer, of course the divorce only left me with 4 CD's to change.
Chandler: But I love swing music!
Mr. Treeger:: Okay ahh, well, just ahh, follow my lead. (Turns on some music)
Rachel: Yeah, I went to a wedding once where they had swing music and uh, two months later the couple got divorced. And now Im not saying that theres any connection here yknow, but they did tell me thats why they got divorced.
RACHEL: At the Copa, Copa Cabana (everyone joins in) The hottest spot north of Havana. At the Copa, Coo-pa Ca-ban-a, music and fashion were always the passion, at the Copa....
Phoebe: Yeah, swing music is so out.
Joey: (angrily and monotone) Any one of the brilliant actresses nominated for this award tonight deserves to take it home. Unfortunately only one can. (Shakes his head in disgust.) The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are from Passions Erin Goff. (There is applause, which Joey disgustedly waits to dye out.) From One Life to Live Mary Loren Bishop (They start to applaud again, but Joey interrupts in with the rest of the nominees), from All My Children Sarah Mchann, and from Days of Our Lives Jessica Ashley. And the winner is (Opens the envelope) Jessica Ashley from Days of Our Lives. (Applause) Uh, unfortunately Jessica couldnt be with us tonight so Ill be accepting this award on her behalf. (Realizes something) And Im sure that Jessica would like to thank my parents who always believed in me. Shed also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel whos sittin right there! (Points at Rachel.) (The music starts and his microphone is turned off, this angers Joey again and he disgustedly exits.)
Phoebe: Please, dont play the music. Just uh one more. LIVE FROM NEW YORK! ITS SATURDAY NIGHT!!
Rachel: (singing) Love to love ya baby! Ow! Love to love ya baby! Ow! (There's a knock on the door, she turns off the music, puts on her robe, and goes to answer the door.) Love to love ya, baby! (There's another knock.) Darnit! (Looks through the peephole and turns on the lights.) Ugh. (She opens the door to Ross who's leaning against the door jam.)
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
ROSS: It wasn't so much a party as...a gathering of people, with food, and music, and, and the band.
Mike: That's great. What kind of music do you play?
(Phoebe turns on some music and grabs some oil.)
(Dramatic music plays and Joey does a little Smell-the-fart acting.)
Rachel: Yeah, we got a lot to do! We gotta think about the flowers, the caterers, the music
Phoebe: Are you kidding? People acting like animals to music. Come on!
Monica: How dirty do you think I am? Im telling you, if you had some candles and some bubbles and some music, you would love it! It would take all of your stress away.
Monica: Alright, let me ask you this question: How many of you thought the music was fine, but not in keeping with the tone of the restaurant? (a few raise their hands again).
Rachel: Phoebe, his music could not get any worse. There are rats in the basement that are hanging themselves.
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
(the music ends)
Phoebe: Why, do I have a feeling thats not as happy as it sounds? (Joey points out one going into the chipper to her, as this haunty, demonic music starts to play in the background) No! Nooooo!!! (she winces in horror and hides her face against Joeys shoulder, as she sees the tree spit out from the chipper.)
Roy: Whoa, whoa, whoa (he turn off the music). She cringed!
Phoebe: Ok, well, alright, who thinks the food is fine, the music was fine, but your evening was ruined by this incessant poll taking? (all raise their hands).
[Russ and Julie look at each other with love in their eyes. The music builds...]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is performing, his music hasnt improved.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Joey: No, thats VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . Its like a lotta noise to me. I dont know
Ross: Hey, when the music starts up again, I was thinking of maybe goind into the robot, yknow? (He mimics a robot)
Joey: Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well. (Does a chord and Monica starts taking pictures of him and Phoebe. They both start to strike a pose with the excessive amount of pictures that Monica takes.)
(He starts. And well, Celebration was never meant to be played on the bagpipe, so even the best bag pipe players in the world would have trouble with that particular song. So of course, for a beginner like Ross, it sounds absolutely dreadful. The assembled audience minus Phoebe, are horrified. Phoebe, immune to bad music, seems to enjoy it.)
Monica: All right, so I havent cleared the budget with my parents yet, but tell me how this is for music.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's having his party, only he's the only guest. He gets up and puts on a nametag that says Ross, but doesn't quite like it. So he takes it off and puts on one that says Dr. Geller and he puts the Ross one underneath the Dr. Geller one. Then as he turns off the music, we hear the party for Howard raging in the apartment across the hall.]
[Wedding music starts, Phoebe noisily unwraps a piece of candy.]
(They kiss to the music of Auld Lang Syne)
[The stereo system booms out 'Billions of years ago. . .'. Ross gets up and changes it to music.]
Monica: Oh...Phoebe? Maybe I wasn't clear before. I really love listening to your music here, but my restaurant is sort of an upscale place.
(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)