words in movies
Monica: Oh Im working on my toast for the party, or as I like to call it. Sob fest 2002. Hey check this out. (Hands him a picture.)
Monica: You got a present for my parents. Thats so sweet.
Chandler: Yeah, sure. What do you need? We got lace, satin, sateen, raffia, gingham, felt, (Pause) and I think my testacles may be in here too.
Parker: No, no, no wait! Dont tell me. Let me guess. (Points as he says their names) Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel and, Im sorry Phoebe didnt mention you. (Chandler makes a face) Chandler, Im kidding all ready youre my favorite!
Monica: Thats my old dog. He passed away years ago.
Monica: Okay, I got my note cards. (To Chandler) Do you got the presents?
Mr. Geller: Son, I had to shave my ears for tonight. You can do this.
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
Joey: I have to go to the bathroom too, but I dont want him complimenting my thing.
Phoebe: Well, so what I like him! Do I make fun of the people youve dated? Tag, Janice, Mona? No, because friends dont do that. But, do you want my opinion? Do you want it? Cause in my opinion, your collective dating record reads like the whos who of human crap. (Walks off)
Woman: Oh my God. That sounds amazing. I would love to see pictures.
Monica: Just going over my toast. Those two will never know what hit em. I cant wait. Theyre going to be crying so hard. Theyre going to be fighting for breath.
Rachel: And my veil was lace, made by blind, Belgium nuns.
Rachel: And the ring, was the size of my fist (makes a fist)!
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Ross: No, of course, Um Um, everybody? Um, I-I just wanted to say on behalf of my new bride, Rachel (She turns around and smiles), and myself. Umm, that if if in 35 years, were half as happy as you guys are, well count ourselves the luckiest people in the world.
Parker: My God what a fantastically well lit hallway!
Parker: That sounds great. (Sits down) My God this is the most comfortable couch Ive ever sat on in my entire life. (Bounces on couch)
Phoebe: Oh my God! Oh my God!
Mrs. Burkart: All right. I'll get my bag.
Ross: Wow! It actually is in the handbook. I cant date you or have a hot plate in my office. I cant believe we have to stop seeing each other.
Monica: That's it. That's my worse Thanksgiving.
Rachel: No! Put that box down! We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girls apartment! That is a boys apartment, its dirty and it smells. This is pretty. Its-its so pretty! And look, and its-its purple! And Im telling you, you with the steady hand, I am not moving, and now I have got the steady hand. (She holds out her hand, which is shaking uncontrollably.)
RICHARD: Well, uh, sometimes I think about selling my practice, we could move to France, make French toast.
Gunther: Whats my last name?
Chandler: Oh I just got another rejection letter. They said my writing was funny, just not "Archie Comic funny."
Rachel: (laughs) Oh my God! Oh, thats funny, I cant believe I did that.
Ross: I dont know whether hes testing me, or just acting out, but my monkey is out of control. But, he keeps erasing the messages on my machine, "supposedly" by accident.
Chandler: You know what, okay, fine. Don't get up, you just sit right there. I just hope, you don't mind, you know, my hand right here. (holds his hand a couple of inches in front of Joey's face) Op, not touching, can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! (Joey flings some dip onto Phoebe's dress)
Joey: You know, ah, Ive been thinking about this and I gotta tell ya, its not my fault. Its a natural instinct.
Rachel: Barry was the guy that I was almost married and Mindy was my best friend.
Monica: Oh my God!
Phoebe: Oh my God, thats so freaky! Turn him off!!
Ross: Wheres my ring? My dead grandmothers wedding ring? Where is it? Where is it?
JOEY: Yeah, my agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives!
Phoebe: Ha-ha, its not my baby, ha-ha-ha! (He leaves.)
Monica: Oh my God!
Joey: Let me explain to you how the human body works. I have to warm my stomach first. Eatin chips is like stretching.
Phoebe: Exactly! Look, no matter what I tried to do, I couldn't keep you out of my life. Of all the people I have cut out, you were the only one who ever clawed her way back in.
Big Nosed Rachel: Well, you know that my parents are out of town and Chip was going to come over
CHANDLER: Yeah. Just let me grab my jacket and tell you I had sex today.
Joey: Well, suppose until the babys born I laid off it. No extra animals would die, you-youd just be eating my animals.
Rachel: I didnt see anything! I actually changed my mind about the name.
Ross: This is my wedding.
Phoebe: Are you kidding. He is so considerate of my feelings and... you know I think... you'd also like to know that he is a very gentle lover.
Joey: What?! Oh my-oh my God!
CHAN: Joey, be a pal. Lift up my hand and smack her with it.
Phoebe: Okay, but, well, before you say no, my friend Susanne is entering her kid and compared to Emma she's a real dog!
Joey: (smiling) Okay, everybody just keep smiling. It'll kill my grandmother if she finds out.
Pete: Y'know I have a torn rotator cuff, a hairline fracture in my right forearm, and a severely bruised Adams Apple, but that really hurt.
Monica: Oh my God!
Mr. Geller: Oh my!
Monica: Well, nows a good time. Im on my way to have my ears cut off.
Monica: Oh my God, this is great! This is so great! (to Chandler, who looks bewildered). Did you hear that?
Joey: (To Phoebe) Hey, is uh the rest of my candy bar around here?
Ross: Uh, everyone, this is Chandler! My roommate and lead singer of our band!
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
Rachel: I get to hire my own assistant!
Joey: I cant hear a word youre saying, my ears are ringing so bad.
Janice: Oh, I wish. Look, honey, you have that report to finish, and I gotta go see my lawyer.
Phoebe: Ugly Naked Guy's taking his turkey out of the oven. Oh my god. He's not alone. Ugly Naked Guy's having Thanksgiving dinner with Ugly Naked Gal.
MR. GREENE: Are you wearing my glasses?
Joey: Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over.... "Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!"
Rachel: And the fact that you were jeopardising my career never entered your mind?!
Joey: Ahh Pheebs, you know youre still my number one girl.
Chandler: Oh my god!
Joey: Calm?! I wasnt calm! Ive never been more scared in all my life!
Monica: Well, I love it. I only hope my wedding looks this good.
MONICA: You would not. I can't believe this. I hate this, you're too normal. I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing. My boyfriend doesn't have a thing.
Joey: I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know. Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna (grimaces and tenses up) pull my arm off just so that I can have something to throw at her.
Ross: Yeah. You see my-my sister makes these amazing turkey sandwiches. Her secret is, she puts a, an extra slice of gravy soaked bread in the middle; I call it the Moist Maker. Anyway, I-I put my sandwich in the fridge over here
RACHEL: They had to reduce it because of, of my deviated septum.
Mrs. Waltham: Oh my God, Phoebe.
CHANDLER: Damn. My mail order grandfather hasn't come yet.
Monica: (entering) Hey, guys. Im here to pick out my Christmas tree.
Monica: Oh my God, Rachel! Hi!
Rachel: Ross said my name. Okay? My name. Ross said my name up there that obviously means that he still loves me! (They both just stare at her.) Okay, dont believe me, I know Im rightdo you guys want to go downstairs and get a drink?
Phoebe: (singing) Crazy underwear, creepin up my butt. (Jason enters) Crazy underwear, always in a rut. Crazy under-(sees Jason)-wear (In her head) Oh No! What is he doing here? All right, just keep playing, just keep playing. Youll get through this; youll be fine. (She tries to continue the song, but she has lost the ability to pronounce words, and the lyrics come out as gibberish.) (giving up on the song) Okay, thank you. And, as always no one talk to me after the show.
Rachel: Well, Ross said my name.
LITTLE BULLY: I just took your hat. See, I can be funny too. My, my joke is that I, I took your hat.
Chandler: (To Monica) Hey, listen, why dont we go change in my room?
Emily: (running in, with Ross) Oh. Oh my God. How can this be happening? What are we going to do?
Chandler: My chair. Now, if anybody asks, your name is Rosita! (He runs out the door, grabs the back of Rosita, and we can hear Joey and Rachel talking as they are coming up the stairs. Neither of them have reached the landing yet.)
JOEY: It's my VISA bill. Envelope one of two. That can't be good.
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
Chandler: Y'know, if I won $5,000 I'd join a gym, y'know build up my upper body and hit Richard from behind with a stick! (Mimics it.)
Ross: Thanks guys! (They both sit down on either side of him.) I really appreciate this, yknow, but you dont have to rub my butt.
MR A: Oh, no, please, I spent most of mid-morning trying to stand up. Now uh, what can I do for you, my dear?
Joey: Yeah? Well, I dont want to talk to you Wayne! I hate you! You ruined my life! Oh, Chandler, Wayne. Wayne, Chandler. (They shake hands.)
Chandler: Yes, but theres two in martini, soo everybody back to my office.
Monica: Oh, my fiancee wants the Swing Kings.
Phoebe: Hey. Guess what! My landlord just called and my apartment is gonna get ready soon, so I guess I'll be moving out.
WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
Joey: (thinking) All right. Its a new day, and its just a crush, thats all! Just a little crush! All that worrying I was doing, that was crazy. Crazy! Like my friend here the bird would say, "it was cuckoo!" Everythings going to be fine. Its just a crush.
Cheryl: My hamster. I hope she's okay, I haven't seen her in a while. Have a seat.
Ross: Wait! It was my plan.
Chandler: Oh, yeah. (Starts to take it off and then realizes) Uh, no you cant have my jacket! Because then I would be cold! If you thought that you were going to be cold, you shouldve brought your own jacket. But uh, other than that, are you okay? Are you okay?
Rachel: Well, y'know what, no, you do not make my decisions because y'know what, you're fired.
RICHARD: Oh, no, honey, I mean, don't worry, I like hanging out with those guys. It's fun for me. They're different than my other friends, they don't start sentences with, 'You know who just died shoveling snow?'
Monica: Oh my God! You're water broke!
Phoebe: Oh my God!
Chandler: Excuse, I seem to have dropped my ball.
Rachel: I don't know, I mean, this is just my initial gut feeling... but I'm thinking... oh, I'm thinking it'd be really great.
RACHEL: Not uh, not to my recollection.
Chandler: I am trying to open your eyes, my man! Don't you see, if you lived with Phoebe she's always gonna be there. You're gonna get home, she's there. You go to bed, she's there. You wake up and oh yes, she's there!
Phoebe: (overacting badly) I cant! My circuits are fried! Theyre fried I tell you!!
Phoebe: Oh my God, she's so stupid!
CHANDLER: The mean guys at the coffee house took my hat.
Joey: Yeah. But I thought that was because I put the whole thing on my hand and made it walk across the table.
Ross: Ah! Ah! I forgot my jacket!
Joey: Oh my!
Joey: Not in my head.
Chandler: Im gettin my chair back! (Heads for Joey and Rachels.)
Monica: Oh my God. Youre even dumber than I am!
Tom: So you work at Bloomingdale's, huh? My mom calls it Bloomies.
Mr. Heckles: Youre disturbing my oboe practice.
Ross: All right, it's cool you can stay here. My parents won't mind.
Phoebe: So, I need to write some depressing stuff to go along with my new floozy voice, but nothing that sad has ever really happened to me.
Kate: By the way, he dumped me tonight after he read my review.