words in movies
[Scene: The Buildings Roof, the entire gang plus Tag are there to look for a comet. Theyre looking for a comet on a roof of a New York apartment building. Yeah, thats realistic. You might as well look for the moon on a bright sunny day.]
Ross: Well, technically it seven billion years ago (Well, technically youd be able to see it for days, well nights; that is if you could see it with all of the bright lights of New York.)
Phoebe: Well, all right. 1700 bags of peanuts flying that high, thats pretty amazing too.
Ross: Man, look at all those stars! (Yeah, you can see what? Five of them from the city?) Infinite space. It really, really makes you wonder, doesnt it?
Phoebe: Shh! Get me out of here.
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
Joey: Right-right up here. (Starts looking at them through a piece of pipe.)
Chandler: What?! (Monica kicks him in the shin.) Ow! (He gets out of bed and heads into the living room.)
Phoebe: (crossing her fingers and closing her eyes) Please dont be a space ship. Please dont be a space ship. (She turns on the light and looks around and finds that its the smoke detector thats beeping.) Oh thank God! (She moves a chair over and starts to investigate how to make the beeping turn off, in frustration she yanks the thing off of the wall. She sets it down and heads for bed, just as she gets there it beeps again. She opens the cover and removes the battery, but it still beeps.) How could you be beeping?! I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can
Ross: (standing at the edge of the roof) Yeah, I guess we dont have a choice. (Screaming to the street) Help us! Please help us! Were stuck up on the roof and we cant get down!!!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's kitchen, Chandler has a jug of milk in his hands and decides to make some warm milk. He opens up the cabinet to get a pot and manages to knock several other pots onto the floor making a lot of noise.]
Tag: If this is your idea of sexy talk? (Shakes his head that its not working.)
Rachel: Okay please tell me that this is just one of your jokes that you do that I dont get.
Rachel: Okay get your coat! (They get their coats and start to leave. Rachel suddenly stops and sticks the hand up the back of her shirt.) Oh! When did you unhook this? (Her bra.) Nice work!
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
Ross: Yeah! Oh yeah, youll be fine! It-itll be uh, just like bungy jumping. Yknow? But instead of bouncing back up you-you wont.
Ross: Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?
Monica: Ohh! Ohhhh! Were you sleeping sweetie? Im sorry. Here. (Hands the mug of milk to him.)
Rachel: Puzzler. A bit of a puzzle. Why dont you um, check the copy room, maybe you left the contracts in there?
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
Chandler: No. We were in the middle of sex and you fell asleep.
Chandler: I was giving you some of my best moves, and you missed it. So please wake up so we can do it right!
Chandler: Yeah! (Monica falls asleep) No! No! No! Dont fall asleep! Okay, I am going to make you some coffee. (Monica doesnt move as he gets out of bed and as hes heading for the door.) And I probably wont spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor.
Rachel: Oh really? So youre saying they just slid out of your bottom drawer, crawled across the floor, then jumped on to my desk?! (I think Dogbert should have a line here.)
The Fireman: The next time you want to dump a fire alarm in a trash chute, dont wrap it in a blanket that says, "Property of Phoebe Buffay not Monica."
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
[Scene: The fire escape, Joey is now hanging off of the bottom rung of the ladder that wont move and Ross is watching from above.]
(Ross steps onto the bottom rung of the ladder and then steps on Joeys chest.)
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
Monica: That really was some of your best work.
Phoebe: I remember the day I got my first pay check. There was a cave in in one of the mines, and eight people were killed.
Ross: Thanks, I put a lot of extra thoughts on your gift.
Danny: Uh, actually, actually, I'm having a party at my place on Saturday, it's sort of a house warming kind of thing.
Monica: Of course.
Joey: Well (taking his cell phone out of a pocket) I’m wanna hear it, because she keeps doing this.
Joey: Thanks so much, Pheebs! (to the dog) We are going to have so much fun, yes we are! (the dog sticks his head between Joeys legs) Oh! Not that kind of fun.
David: Kinda stepped on the toes of what I was going to say.
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is getting a cup of coffee as Joey and Phoebe enter and sit down.]
Monica: Yes! Yes! And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby, because youre the most important person in this room. And in the world!
The Fan: No-no, it was! She was in Sex Toy Story 2, Lawrence of Alabia, and I got her autograph! The guys at the comic book store arent gonna believe this! (Exits.)
Phoebe: I have quarters! (She holds up a bag of quarters.)
Monica: Guys, you're a few steps ahead of us.
Monica: Honey, I dont think thats something we need to worry about! First of all hes-hes never gonna tell her how he feels about her. And even if he did you have no idea how shed react.
Ross: Look, I'm sure it would be great, but I-I think one of us has to be thinking clearly, so, I'm gonna go!
Ross: Monica bang! Monica bang! (runs into one of the posts) Ow!
Monica: Well, instead of being sad that tonight is my last night together with Rachel we thought wed go out to dinner and celebrate the fact that Rachel is moving in with Phoebe.
VAN DAMME: Perhaps, uh, the three of us, just could. . .
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
[they pull out the box of condoms but there's only one left]
Joey: Yeah that's not such a bad situation they got going over there. I'm thinking of getting me one of those.
RACHEL: OK, you wanna play? OK, let's play, let's play. [She grabs a jar of tomato sauce and Monica's purse]
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Chandler: That was a celebration of life. Alright, look, I�m not gonna do this. Alright, is this really the way you want a baby to be conceived?
Ross: I made fun of his accent.
Rachel: So, which of this kitchen stuff is mine?
Ross: Elizabeth! (He opens one of the bed stands that he has curled himself up into.) Okay. Okay. (She helps him out.) Im gonna go out this window. (Points to the window next to him.) Ill meet you at the front door. Just tell them youre going home, okay?
Chandler: Okay. (She grabs a tin of freshly baked cookies) Oh yes. (He reaches for one.)
Phoebe: No. No! Yes! Ahh. Oh, would you look at that Monica? I just knocked off all of your top scores, how sad.
Rachel: Oh, you know what - my first impression of you was absolutely right. You are arrogant, you are pompous ... Morgan! Morgan! Tag's last name was Morgan! Huh!
Joey: (on phone) Well, so anyway Beth, what Im saying is I shouldve considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. Ive ah, Ive recently learned whats it like to be on your side of it, and Im sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? (listens) Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. (He sits down and crosses out something, and dials the phone again.) Hello, Jennifer? (listens) Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? (listens) Oh, shes not home huh? (listens) Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
Rachel: A couple of bucks.
CHANDLER: Huh? Are, uh, any of these cultures, per chance, in the tri-state area?
[the bullies grab the back of the couch that Ross and Chandler are sitting in and tip back]
Ross: Uh-huh. But it was a first for the rest of my building.
Guy: Welcome to the building. I'm uh, Steve Sarah; I'm president of the tenants committee.
Ross: Oh yeah, we're uh, yeah we're not together. (He starts backing out of the store.)
Chandler: Im gonna say this for the last time. Would you please just (He moves his arm which opens the drawer and hits in the back of the head, which proves his point.)
Rachel: I don't know why Joey had to kiss her! I mean, of all the girls at the party, GOD!
Monica:: he has to work, there's some rush on the big (pause, thinks) ah damn it one of these days I'm really gonna have to start listening when he talks about his job.
[Scene: Monica and Rachels, Phoebe is watching a Spanish version of The Waltons. At a nearby table sit Monica knitting, Rachel winding a ball of wool, and Chandler supplying them both from a skein which is spread between his hands.]
Ross: MY SANDWICH!!!!!! (Ross's scream scares a flight of pigeons away.)
Joey: Joey Tribbiani! From the wall! (The dry cleaner doesnt remember) Okay, maybe this will jog your memory, huh? (Holds his picture up in front of his face.) Huh? Okay eh-ah-anyway, Im ready to go back up on the wall Im the star of a new TV show.
Monica: (screeching) OH! Oh, oh! (holding her hand in front of her mouth)
Rachel: Wow! You certainly think a lot of yourself.
Ross: O is for "oh, wow!" The V is for this very surprising turn of events, which I'm still fine with by the way. E is for how extremely normal I find it. That you two are together. And now one day you might get married and have children of your own.
Ross: Good evening, sir. My name is Ross Geller. I'm one of the people who applied for the apartment. And I-I realize that the competition is fierce butI'm sorry. I, I can't help but notice you're naked and (He claps his hands.) I applaud you. Man, I wish I was naked. I mean, this-this looks so great. That is how God intended it.
Emily: (on answering machine) Are you thinking about me? Of course you're not, but if you are, call me tonight. Okay, bye.
Monica: Look, these clowns are trying to take us for a ride and I'm not gonna let 'em! And we're not a couple of suckers!
Monica: Chandler is supposed to find out if he's getting an assistent job at his ad agency. But out of the 15 interns, they are only hiring three.
Phoebe: Speaking of Christmas, umm since Monica and I are starting a new business and have like no money, umm, this year maybe we could do secret Santa, and then we each only buy one gift. And-and theres the added mystery of who gets who.
Phoebe: Yeah, Ive discovered that Ross forgot to take his brain medicine, uh, now without it, uh, in the brain of Ross, uh womens names are interchangeable, through-through no fault of his own.
Chandler: Okay, if you see a little version of me in there? Kill it!
Ross: Yeah, of course, Donald.
Ross: Well, I mean its not all bad. Im learning to appreciate the uh, smaller things in life. Like the sound of a bird and the color of the sky.
Ross: (to Monica) You wanna wander in the hall? (to Ben) Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the festival of lights?
Ross: Yeah-yeah, except Apollo 8 didnt actually land on the moon. But you-you-you could write that umm, your love lets me orbit the moon twice and return safely. (Apollo 8 was the first one that orbited the moon and the one that read the Christmas Story from the orbit of the moon on Christmas Eve, 1968. They also took the famous Earthrise picture of the Earth rising over the moon.)
(She sympathetically reaches out to fondle the inner thigh of his left leg.)
Ross: I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. (He starts to sit down on the bed. There's one problem though, he's about two feet to the left of it. Needless to say, he misses and falls on his butt.) (Looking up at Joey.) Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay?
Monica: Man, I would be great in a war! I mean, I really, I think I would make a fantastic military leader. I mean I know I would make General way before any of you guys.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is there as Monica enters carrying a huge stack of newspapers.]
Joey: Yes, but y'know what? It doesn't matter who knows what. Now, enough of us know that we can just tell them that we know! Then all the lying and the secrets would finally be over!
Ross: Okay, go left. Left! Left! (The bottom of the couch is hitting the railing.)
Joey: Oh yeah, lava spewing, hot ash, of course some are dormant.
(he uses his remote to turn on the music, "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell, and starts dancing for Phoebe. He shakes his butt, moves his shoulders back, grabs his crotch and hops towards Phoebe. Phoebe is half horrified and half scared. He takes his hat off and throws it away, does some "Can Can" high kicks and swings his butt in front of Phoebe who looks at it in disgust. Then he tears open his shirt and shows her his chest and she flinches.)
Ross: Ohh. (He cuts himself a piece of cake.)
Mr. Zelner: Yeah, its not like I dont have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But theres a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? (They both nod no.) No? Okay, well uh, youve (Grabs the chocolates.) got my fax number. (Exits.)
Chandler: Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests, intelligence tests, personality tests... and what do I learn? (he taps the results and reads them) "You are ideally suited for a career in data processing for a large multinational corporation."
[Scene: A Theatre, Chandler and Ross are there to watch the premiere of Kathys play.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is drinking some Alka-Seltzer. The rest of the gang, minus Rachel is there as well.]
Ross: Oh, you could just go uh, "greatest of ease (plays air guitar) BAH-bah-bha-bhannn." Then go right into it.
Phoebe: I couldn't tell him no. He got so sad. Maybe it'll be all right. I do really like him a lot and probably do it eventually anyway and plus, think of all the money I'll save on stamps.
Rachel: Pheebs, I would make a reservation for five, because one of us has to stay home and watch Emma. (to Ross:) Which one of us should go to dinner?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica and Chandler are making out on one of the chairs.]
(She opens a door and they both scream at horror at whats inside of it.)
Gym Employee: (to Ross) So, are you a member of any gym.
(Joey hugs Rosss neck and has a look of complete contentment on his face which, after a short while, causes David and Matt to start laughing.)
Chandler: Well, of course I do! My good friend Joey over here. (Pats Joeys arm, Joey pats Chandlers shoulder, and Chandler motions for Joey to say the same about him.)
Chandler: Look, she's not backing down! She went like this! (He does a little mimic of her dance.)
Chandler: Okay. (He picks the 9 of Spades)
ERICA: Well, yes, yes, the best doctor in all of Salem, Dr. Drake Remore.
(We hear the backup horn of a truck and see through the window that the Mr. Bowmont has arrived.)
Chandler: I mean presumably, the biggest part of your job is done.
Young Ethan: Well it's somewhere in between. You see, in a strictly technical sense, of course, I'm not uh..., well I, I mean I haven't ever uh...
Chandler: Well, your kind of sitting in my seat.
Ross: Not her. Yeah, this is someone else I meet, and I-I cant decide between the two of them. Yknow the one from Poughkeepsie, even though shes a two hour train ride away, is really pretty, really smart, and-and a lot of fun. But this other girl, well, she lives right uptown. Yknow shes, well shes-shes just as pretty, I guess shes smart, shes not fun.
Ross: Look I've already looked at like a thousand apartments this month and none of them even compares to that one!
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
Janice: Oh, we go way back. Before Monica made an honest man out of him, Chandler used to be my little love muffin! (does her irritating laugh). So? Are you guys thinking of getting this house too? Ooh! Are we gonna have a bidding war? I'd better warn you, I'm a toughie (playfully punches Chandler, who tries to get away from her)
Phoebe: Oh, OK, so then what is it? Some kind of... you know, like, like... some kind of, y'know, like... alright, what is it?
Joey: (Jumping out of his way) See ya!! (To the girls.) What the hell was that?!
Carol: (noticing a kid who has picked up a copy of Variety to read) Hey, that kid looks familiar.
Joey: Yeah. I'm thinking, if we put our heads together, between the two of us, we can break them up.
Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)
Chandler: And you dont think taking care of our chick is work?
Kate: I think my characters gonna need a little bit more of reason than that.
Mr. Geller: Of course it did. They're made of wicker.
Mr. Geller: This bill for my half of the wedding. its insane.
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Pete: Okay, thats great, but can we make it smaller? Can we make it fit on the head of a pin? I love when we make things fit on the head of a pin.