words in movies
JOEY: Well, I'm makin money now and this is payin' you back for head shots, electric bills, and so many slices of pizza I can't even count. I love ya man.
CHANDLER: Oh, now? [puts it in his desk drawer] No, no, I think something this nice should be saved for a special occasion. [sets a chair in front of the drawer]
ROSS: [puts the message in the cupboard] I don't know, I don't get, I don't get it, I mean, wh, wh, two months ago Rachel and I were like, this close. Right now, what, I'm takin messages from guys she, she meets at the movies? I mean this, this Casey should be takin' down my messages, ya know, or, or, Rachel and I should be together and, and we should get some kind of me, message service.
ROSS: Oh OK. Well then why don't you, uhh, why don't you borrow it from mom and dad? You feel guilty and tense around them already. You might as well make some money off of them.
MR. GELLER: Some of your old stuff.
MR. GELLER: Well, I can't say any of us were surprised. Your parents have been unhappy ever since we've known them. Especially after that incident in Hawaii.
MR. GELLER: Uhh, naa, no no no, I, I must be thinking of someone else, uh, maybe me. Don't you have some folding to do? Go fold dear. Fold. You fold. [shuffles her into her room]
CHANDLER: [walks over to the woman] I know what you're thinking, Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
CHANDLER: What? [realizes it was the bracelet] Oh this is excellent. You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller, the eyesore from the Liberace house of crap.
ROSS: [Rachel, laughing, puts a hand on the guy's shoulder] Look at that, look at that, see how she's pushing him away and he won't budge. Alright, I'm gonna do something. [walks up in the middle of their conversation] Excuse me, are you Rachel?
RACHEL: No, listen to me. I fell for you and I get clobbered. You then fall for me and I again, somehow, get clobbered. I'm tired of being clobbered, ya know, it's, it's just not worth it.
JOEY: Well, what about the fact that you insulted the bracelet and you made fun of me?
CHANDLER: I am here, on my knees, holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret, much like they did in biblical times. Though you may haveth anger now. . . [Joey returns to his room]
MR. GELLER: Judy, Judy, relax, this is our little harmonica we're talking about. We taught her well. Ten percent of your paycheck, where does it go?
PHOEBE: Would you stop already? Get out of the bitter barn and play in the hay.
PHOEBE: [Standing in living room with Chandler and Joey. She pulls a huge bathing suit out of a box] Hey, Mon, what is this?
RACHEL: They had to reduce it because of, of my deviated septum.
MRS. GELLER: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
RACHEL: [the shoulders of her dress keep falling off her shoulders] Is my hook unhooked? These things keep falling down, I can't. . .
MR. GELLER: Of course she would, you're a college man.
ROSS: Uh, just a sec dad. [to himself] OK, be cool, just be cool. [walks down the stairs and grabs the flowers out of the vase on the endtable] OK dad.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica is watching the rest of the tape]
MR. GELLER: I may not know any of your flash dances but I'm no slouch on the dance floor.
Devon: Do you realise that we have not seen each other since the night of that U2 concert?
Ross: Professor Neuman, the head of the department, so .
JOEY: One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is still bumming about cancellation of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Joey: And of course, crotchless panties.
MONICA: Oh I was just doing Chandler's side of the conversation.� You know, like, "Hi, How do I look?"� (As Chandler) "Really sexy.� Could I BE any more turned on?"
Kristen: Well Joey doesnt like to talk about it but, hes one of the stars of Days Of Our Lives.
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is still trying to talk Earl out of suicide.]
Phoebe: Least of all you.
Rachel: (glares at him) Get out, get out of my apartment.
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe is collecting donations and ringing her bell.]
Chandler: Yeah, Ill take care of it.
Ross: Oh see, I-I needed a new thing for today and there's this leather store that always smells so good and I thought to myself, "Wow, (To Chandler) I never really owned a good smelling pair of pants before."
Chandler: The cushions are the essence of the chair!
Phoebe: Wow, that sounds great! And what are you making Monica, in case Rachels dessert is...[about to say bad] so good that I eat all of it. Theres none left for anybody else!
(Chandler walks over to where the rest of the gang is.)
Dr. Harad: Oh no-no-no. Fonzie is the nickname of Arthur Fonzerelli. The Fonz.
Chandler: Anyway, I should go, one of the lifeguards was just about to dismantle a nuclear device.
Ross: Phoebe! You're note, amazing! Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me. Yeah, a guy called me mental! Mental Geller, yeah, I always wanted a cool nickname like that.
Phoebe: Well not so much a pet as, you know, an occasional visitor who I put food out for, you know. Kinda like Santa. Except Santa doesn't poop on the plate of cookies.
Joey: Ugh. Now if a cow should die of natural causes, I can have one of those right?
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa, ho, ho, ho, you did not win the game, the touchdown didnt count, because of the spectacularly illegal, oh and by the way savage nose breaking.
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Monica: Yeah, it's just we don't think of you as really being so much "with the words".
Joey: Wow! Theres a lot I didnt know about vomit. (The duck comes to the door of the bathroom, quacking.) (To the duck) In a minute. (The duck goes back into the bathroom.)
Chandler: Is this because of the burrito thing?
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Joey: (yelling from bathroom) Hey, does somebody wanna hand me one of those tiles.
Cecilia: Oh, just years of experience.
Monica: Well, that's different. My lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states. What were you thinking?
The Fireman: The next time you want to dump a fire alarm in a trash chute, dont wrap it in a blanket that says, "Property of Phoebe Buffay not Monica."
Rachel: Ross, see! I told you, those swings are evil! Alright, that is it. That is the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life.
Monica: This bottle opener. (She grabs it off of the freezer door.)
Joey: Yeah! I made it of this fruit bowl I found in the garbage.
Ross: Oh, we went to see a collection of Victorian doorknobs and the Cupert-Hewitt museum.
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
Joey: It was amazing! And not just for her... uh-uh. For me, too. It's like, all of a sudden, I'm blind. But all my other senses are heightened, y'know? It's like... I was able to appreciate it on another level.
Joey: (laughs) Yeah! Right! (points at Monica) People eat birds... Bird meat... Now do they just fly into your mouth or you go to... you go to a restaurant and you say: "Excuse me, I'll have a bucket of fried bird." (laughs again) Or... or maybe just a wing or... (realises...)
Monica: (yelling at the top of her lungs) Im engaged!!!!!! Im engaged!!!!
Ross: Hey you leave Marcel out of this!
Ross: A lesson in the importance of unagi. (He starts doing the finger thing every time now.)
Joey: Fine! Have you ever got stuck in a pair of your own leather pants?!
Joey: But the drawer full of take-out menus is okay, right?
MONICA: Ok, which one of us do you think is gonna be the first one to get married?
Joey: (examining it) Ohh, a hunk of sandwich from last year. (Monica drops the sandwich)
Receptionist: Were actually at the end of one of our research cycles, so were not looking for applicants right now.
Monica: Mom says it's all of Manhattan, parts of Brooklyn and Queens, and they have no idea when it's coming back on.
Chandler: I got good. I played this game all day and now I rule at it! They should change the name of it to Ms. Chandler. (Pause) Although I-I hope they dont.
Rachel: Okay, go to the left. (Joey goes starboard or sits on the right side of the boat.) The left!
Phoebe: When she comes out, you hold her nose, Ill blow in her mouth, and the kid will just (makes a popping sound) right out of her.
[Next is a shot of them dragging an enormous plant into the room, then Monica knitting a sweater, then Phoebe singing, then Phoebe shaving him and chatting to Monica]
Monica: So I, I told Rachel it was just gonna be the two of us.
Phoebe: Oo! You should have one of us do it!
Phoebe: Yes! A friend of mine did it and its totally legal!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is just getting off of the intercom and turns off the TV which is still in the SAP mode.]
Monica: That was that girl Megan! She booked the Swing Kings on the day of our wedding and said that I couldnt have them back unless I gave her the dress!
[Scene: The Freeman Building, Ross is entering his new class completely out of breath.]
Monica: Okay, ooh, alright. Name, address... Okay, in case of emergency, call?
Joey: What about Game 1 of the Series?
Joey: Okay. I got nominated for my part on Days of Our Lives!
Monica: Yeah, you're my husband. I'm not gonna live in a different state than you for 208 days out of the year.
Ross: Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean Ive been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a studentI mean I notnot it! I mean, I mean I dontWe havent done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, weve-weve-weve done stuff. (Paul is not amused.) Okay, okay, a joke, a jokelighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish.
Mr. Franklin: But we really do need to find someone up here. The work is starting to pile up. Ive got a stack of documents on my desk this high. (Holds his hand at shoulder level.)
The Waiter: Actually were out of the lobster ravioli. (Putting Joeys menu under his arm.)
Monica: Phoebe, your liver is right here. (She points to the right side of her torso.)
Gavin: You hear a key in the hole and you jump like a young bronco coming out of a chute for the first time. I used to be arodeo clown.
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Joey: Okay, firstfirst of all, you want to make it look spontaneous. I look down (Looks down), look down, keep looking down; then I look up. (Looks up and smiles.) See? All right, now you try. Look down (Chandler looks down), youre looking down, keep looking down
(Chandler and Ross head for opposite ends of the couch.)
Ross: Yes. Yes. Just here (Runs his fingers down the bridge of his nose) and there (Runs his fingers across his forehead).
Monica: Im just having one of those days where you realize youre in a dead-end relationship!
Rachel: Joey! Why did we have to rush out of there so fast?!
Joey: Come on Rach! No one saw me take it! There was a whole table full of em.
Joey: Oh uh, one of the writers.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are giving Phoebe and Rachel the results of their election. Somewhat faster than Florida I might add.]
Ross: Ugh, between the traffic that time of day and all the one-way streets itll take me twice as long. Besides, I teach the class three times a week, who am I? Rockefeller?
Ursula: Yeah, I got a big box of family stuff when my mom died.
Janine: Well Im gonna be on it this year. Im gonna be one of the party people.
Monica: See? Thats what I mean. I mean that, thats great! But I wouldnt trade in what I have for that. I mean Im gonna be with Chandler for the rest of my life, and thats what makes me happy. (Chandler approaches.) Hey sweetie, come here! Come sit down. Hey Phoebe and I were just talking about how our relationship is deep and meaningful. It really is dont you think?
Chandler: Well get rid of her, obsessive and shrill.
David: Well, just for a couple of days, uhm... I'm here to explain to the people who gave us our grant, why it's a positive thing that we spent all their money and uhm... accomplished uhm... nothing.
Kristen: You look strong, why dont I take that and you grab one of the boxes.
Ross: Of course, what happened? (Lets her in.)
Phoebe Sr: I mean, I know what Im talking about. I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life. So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy, it would be like a million times harder to give up a child. (Phoebe is playing with the puppy again, and not listening) I really shouldnt have given you the puppy first.
Rachel: (gasps) Its still there! (The cheesecake they returned to Mrs. Braverman is still lying in front of her door.)
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Phoebe: I dontshe said yknow that Id have triplets! But she also said one of them would be black.
CHANDLER: Right now, right here. Don't ya think we're in kind of a public plaaaa [Susie grabs him under the table] They do have the shrimp.
Ross: Dad, dad, dad, I'm talkin' about the whole uh, baby thing. Did you uh, ever get this sort of... panicky, "Oh my god I'm gonna be a father" kind of a thing?
Chandler: I know, I know, I just always wondered if I could get her eyes to pop out of her head.
Ross: So its really a question of who could you have possibly done.
Chandler: My chair. Now, if anybody asks, your name is Rosita! (He runs out the door, grabs the back of Rosita, and we can hear Joey and Rachel talking as they are coming up the stairs. Neither of them have reached the landing yet.)
Joey: Rach we had to get out of there because, look what I won! (He whips out the award for Best Supporting Actress that he accepted for Jessica.)
Phoebe: Right, yeah, ok, I'll ask the butler to fetch my diamonds out of the vault.
Ross: No, NO! (they're moving to the side of the bed, where they sit down) Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up. Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it.
Steve: Chandler, you were the strongest person in the program. We're offering you the position of junior copywriter.
Rachel: Okay! (Joins the rest of the gang.)
Ross: So thats two of my wives.
Ross: Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay?
Rachel: Some of them.