words in movies
Rachel: Chandler, dont worry! This doesnt make you any less of a guy! (Chandler starts blowing on his fingernails like women do.) That does! (Chandler stops blowing.) What am I sitting on? (She looks and finds a huge nail.) I hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Rachel: Well, heres another question for ya. Uhh, do you know what that silver knob on the toilet does?
Chandler: Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After its closed) I cant stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)
Monica: This switch thing has been driving me crazy. So I turned it off and checked every outlet. Now, four of them dont work. Which means, one of them has to be controlled by the switch. So, I plugged in things in all four of the outlets that-that make noise, so that way, when I turn it on I just follow the noise and find out which one it is.
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Ooh, hey, could we put on the news? I think it might be raining.
Ross: Oh, just hold on a second. Im watching this rugby thing on ESPN. I dont know what the big deal is. Im man enough to play this sport.
Joey: Hey-hey, whats going on?
Janice: (leaning in from the bedroom) Chandler! Come on, Im gonna show how to roll up your underwear and stuff it in your shoes. Its a real space saver.
Janice: Okay, Chandler, come on!
Joey: All right, come on look, Ross can take care of himself! Its not like hes Chandler!
Ross: Come on! The time we were all waiting in line for Dances With Wolves and that one guy cut in line in front of us and I just lost it?! Screamed at him! Turned all red! Red Ross!!
Emily: Liam, do me a favour. Tell the lads to go easy on Ross, its his first time.
Liam: Ross! Ross! Come on! Get in here! (Ross gets pumped up.) Ross! Come on!
Liam: Ross, come on! Get in the bloody scrum! Ross, get in!
(Ross, urged on by his team-mates, jumps on top of the scrum and falls headfirst into the middle, leaving his feet sticking straight up.)
Janice: On no! No! Its not good-bye, Im not leaving until you get on that plane.
Emily: I cant believe theyre doing that to him! I told them to go easy on him!
Ross: I dont care! I am not quitting! I insist on finishing this game!
Emily: All right, all right, if you insist on doing this, at least let me help you.
Ross: But-but, Liams on my team.
(Rachel removes a paper on the floor which is covering a hole and gasps.)
Ticket Counter Attendant: (on the P.A.) This is the final boarding call for Flight 664 to Yemen.
Chandler: Janice! There you are! There you are! I had to have one last kiss, and also-also you said that you were going to leave right after I got on the plane!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica has finally given up on her search to find what the light switch does and is now flicking it on and off aimlessly.]
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
Chandler: What the hell is going on?!
Monica: That didnt work on mom, its not going to work on us.
The Interviewer: But therell be perhaps 30 people under you so you can dump a certain amount on them.
Charlie: Ooh... Is it because of what might be on the bedspread, because I saw that news report too, with the infra red and the ... I could just...
Ross: (to the guard) Dont sweat it, Ive got this section covered. Yeah, in fact Ive got this little baby (Turns on a mini-flashlight) to shine in peoples eye(The guard walks away)Okay, see you later.
(Joey looks at Ross with a horrified look on his face.)
Ross: (to Joey, who is wearing a blue, 3 foot hand) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TAKE IT OFF!! (takes it off his hand and throws it on the floor)
Chandler: Ohh that's the worse thing that can happen on an anniversary ever!
Chandler: Alright look, if it means that much to you, a may be able to get on more with the big boobs. But the giant ass and the big clown feet?
(Joey makes a sound like a game show wheel spinning with the pointer bouncing off of the bars on the wheel as it slows and comes to a stop.)
[Scene: Phoebe and Rachels, Phoebe is sitting on the couch as Rachel and Monica enter.]
Monica: All right, biggest suite in the place. Come on! (Rolls the dice.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Chandler is sitting on one of the chairs and the duck is running around him and quacking.]
Max: Tell her, David. 'I don't wanna go to Minsk and work with Lifson and Yamaguchi and Flench, on nonononononono. I wanna stay here and make out with my girlfriend!!' (Storms out)
Monica: Wait Chandler come on, letsits not a big deal!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's on the phone with Emily.]
Chandler: Come on, let me see that smile.
Rachel: Oh, go on! You telling people about me?
JOEY: Come on, I need your help here.
Joey: Uhh Pheebs, I heard that. Can you put him on?
Rachel: Come on. (they start to leave) Oh! And, uh, by the way....
Ross: (popping up behind Joey wearing an Indian headdress) Come on, it's fun!
Rachel: Yeah but, my assistant Tag does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Ohh! I could just spread him on a cracker.
[Scene, Phoebe and Rachels, theyre sitting together on the couch.]
Ross: Hey uh, well, todays my first lecture and I kinda wanted to try it out on you guys, do you, do you mind?
JOEY: [pulls out a VCR tape] Hey Monica, what's on this video tape?
Monica: That's it, just sign right on the bra (the actor does so).
Leslie: Aw come on Phoebe would you just think about it?
PHOEBE: Ok, I didn't see it, because I was putting on my jacket, but I uh want to believe you.
Ben: That you and daddy were not on a break.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is working as Phoebe and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
Joey: I dont know. Just uh, just tell em it was a mix-up with the invitations, orNo-no-no! Blame it on the post office. They hate the post office. And the Irish! But I dont think you can blame it on them so (He dials the phone and hands it to Monica.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Chandler are entering, Joey is on the phone.]
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Whats goin on?
"Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kinds of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. Now, you haven't heard it yet, so don't try to sing along. No, don't sing along.
Mr. Tribbiani: Just for a coupla days. I got a job midtown. I figure I'm better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry. (Sees Roger) I don't know this one.
[Time lapse, they're still on the ride along and Joey is just sniffing his sandwich.]
Monica: For this weekend! Oh gosh, it would be perfect, we get to see Joey plus we get to start our anniversary celebration on the plane. We can call it out plane-aversary.
Joey: No, no! Don't try to turn this around on me, ok? I'm not some kind of... social work, ok, that you can just... do.
Chandler: Hey it's the most eligible man in NY. How's the moving on going?
(She throws her bag inside, and starts to climb through the window. She gets halfway in and the window slams shut on her butt.)
(Joey starts to the shower with a grim, determined look on his face.)
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel. You can hear this entire classic scene by clicking here.)
CHANDLER: Well, we haven't exactly met, we just stayed up all night talking on the internet.
Joey: Yes! Didnt you ever read Sports Illustrated?! No! I didnt read yours! But come on, we can go to the game tonight!
Ross: This is unbelievable. I - I have never been so insulted in my life. Now, if you'll wrap up my free crab cakes, I'll be on my way.
Ross: Hey Pheebs, could you please not put your feet up on my new (On Rachels glare) old sheet?
Chandler: Almost as good as that play with the two naked girls on the see-saw.
Monica: Yeah, good for you. Y'know you're tough, you lived on the streets.
(Robert leans back on the arm of the chair and allows Chandler to see up his shorts and sees little Robert. Chandler is horrified by this view.)
Monica: Guys, whats going on?
Monica: Hold on a second! What is that on her ankle?
Rachel: Okay, hold on just a second. (She grabs a camera out of the desk and takes his picture.) Im sorry, its for human resources, everybody has to do it. Could you just stand up please?
RICHARD: Monica... [He re-enters the bedroom and Monica jumps on the bed, trying to cover it.] Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?
Chandler: Mrs. Tedlock. You're looking lovely today. And may I say, that is a very flattering sleeve length on you.
Same Mans Voice: Phoebe, come on!
Monica: Where are you guys going? Come on, one more game!
All: (simultaneously) Oh yeah! Come on! Yeah right!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is entering numbers on a calculator as Ross reads off how much hes sold.]
Rachel: Oh, come on! You think thats gonna work on me?! I invented that!
Chandler: (trying on the jacket) Okay. Holy double-vented comfort Batman! (Finds something in the pocket) Whats this?
Chandler: Interesting, cause in my dreams, I'm allways surprisingly inadequate. (Monica pats him on his lap)
Ross: Come on! (They start to leave.)
Ross: Oh, come on you guys; thats funny! Yknow? Because hes needhes got like a hearing aide yknow, cause-cause yknow, cause hes all old, and
Rachel: Late thirties? Oh come on you guys! Is it just me? Am I overreacting to this?
Rachel: Oh no! No! No-no-no-no! No, I mean come on thats-thats crazyI mean thats crazy. So whats-whats going on with you? What is going on with you?
RACHEL: Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]
Ross: So, do we really have to ask whos going up on the platform next?
(She is still yanking on the bra, but it is stuck in her sleeve. Finally, she gives up.)
Phoebe: (To Ross) So whats going on with you?
Monica: Fine, Ill rub it on myself.
Ross: So honey, this morning was fun, huh? Me hopping in on you in the shower there.
Monica: I can do it, okay? Come on, lets go. (She and Ross get up)
Jen: Sure, I'll just get my coat. (There's a knock on the door.) Could you get that?
Ross: Okay, 'you' can't, or (Points to Chandler) you can't? (Chandler grabs his finger) Okay, that's my finger. (Chandler twists it and Ross goes down on one knee) That's, that's my knee. (To Central Perk) Still doing the play. Aaah!
Phoebe: Now (Starts singing again) "Who will perform the ceremony! Who will perform the cer(Chandler enters and grabs her guitar and closes the door behind him)Ohoh! All right, Ill pound on him in the morning.
Ross: Fine. Youll-youll watch it on video when we get back.
CHANDLER: Oh, come on. I can never get a girl like that with conventional methods.
Phoebe: Im, Im freaking out! Monica kinda trusted me with something and she shouldnt have! All right, I havent lived here in a while, so I have to ask you something. Does Monica still turn on the lights in her bedroom?
[Scene: Joey's apartment, the next morning, Rachel is passed out on the couch.]
Ross: Or you can sit with him on the front porch and make sure no one steals the trash cans. He does that every week too.
Rachel: (speaking to the person on the phone again) Yes, yes. I still want my daughters picture, but on a bunny cake. Yellow cake, chocolate frosting with nuts!
Monica: (to everyone) It's Chandler! (on phone) Are you OK?
Monica: Okay, fine. Let's talk about snow. -- Do you think it's snowing in Tulsa, where my husband is having sex on a copying machine?
Chandler: That's good! I liked it, they didn't. (he sees Joey out of the window hitting on a girl) Joey, for God's sake, go to work! (Joey runs away).
(Rachel picks up their phone and the ringing stops. As she talks on the phone, an elaborate visual gag is spun out which is too difficult to describe in words.)
[He kisses her on the cheek, she returns the kiss, then they embrace in a full on kiss]
Tag: It wasnt on your list, but hopefully youll think its really fun.
RACHEL: Look, Chandler, he has moved on, OK, you have to too.
Chandler: I love you too. (Monica and Chandler kiss. He turns to Joey.) And... I like you as a friend. (They hug and pat each other on the back.)
Rachel: No! Wait! Come on!
Phoebe: Oh, hey, hey Nick the boxer lets see what you got. All right ya, put em up. Come on. (they start shadow boxing)
(He shifts on the couch and a ripping sound emanates from his lower regions, the sound reminds one of a brief explosion of gas. In other words, it sounds like he farted. She has a look of horrific wonderment, wondering "Did he just fart?")
Elizabeth: No, let's just leave the lights on.
Monica: (to Phoebe) You start working on that list. (She grabs her coat and leaves, too.)
Rachel: Ohh, okay. (Ross has a sign on his back that reads Poop.) WhAh-ha! (Ross stops and turns.) Wait a minute. Uh Ben, I cant do it.
Monica: What are you talking about? (Pointing out the window.) She obviously lives on the second floor, seventh apartment from the left!
Joey: What the?! (Joey pounds the table and starts yelling at Rachel, and which is drowned out by applause. Rachel is desperately trying to tell Joey that hes on TV right now. He finally notices and he does his gracious loser face.)
RACH: No, actually first they started on my waist. And then, they slid up, and then, they were in my hair.
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]