words in movies
Rachel: Chandler, dont worry! This doesnt make you any less of a guy! (Chandler starts blowing on his fingernails like women do.) That does! (Chandler stops blowing.) What am I sitting on? (She looks and finds a huge nail.) I hate to think what this woman was scratching when this broke off.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Rachel and Joey are standing at the counter. Monica is flipping a light switch on and off next to the door.]
Rachel: Well, heres another question for ya. Uhh, do you know what that silver knob on the toilet does?
Chandler: Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After its closed) I cant stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)
Monica: This switch thing has been driving me crazy. So I turned it off and checked every outlet. Now, four of them dont work. Which means, one of them has to be controlled by the switch. So, I plugged in things in all four of the outlets that-that make noise, so that way, when I turn it on I just follow the noise and find out which one it is.
Monica: Yeah, well, Im using noise. Okay. All right! So, is everybody ready? Here we go. (She flips on the switch and a hum starts.) I hear something! I hear something! Where is it? (They all start looking until Rachel realises its Joey.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Joey, and Rachel are watching rugby on TV as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Ooh, hey, could we put on the news? I think it might be raining.
Ross: Oh, just hold on a second. Im watching this rugby thing on ESPN. I dont know what the big deal is. Im man enough to play this sport.
Joey: Hey-hey, whats going on?
Janice: (leaning in from the bedroom) Chandler! Come on, Im gonna show how to roll up your underwear and stuff it in your shoes. Its a real space saver.
Janice: Okay, Chandler, come on!
Joey: All right, come on look, Ross can take care of himself! Its not like hes Chandler!
Ross: Come on! The time we were all waiting in line for Dances With Wolves and that one guy cut in line in front of us and I just lost it?! Screamed at him! Turned all red! Red Ross!!
Emily: Liam, do me a favour. Tell the lads to go easy on Ross, its his first time.
Liam: Ross! Ross! Come on! Get in here! (Ross gets pumped up.) Ross! Come on!
Liam: Ross, come on! Get in the bloody scrum! Ross, get in!
(Ross, urged on by his team-mates, jumps on top of the scrum and falls headfirst into the middle, leaving his feet sticking straight up.)
Janice: On no! No! Its not good-bye, Im not leaving until you get on that plane.
Emily: I cant believe theyre doing that to him! I told them to go easy on him!
Ross: I dont care! I am not quitting! I insist on finishing this game!
Emily: All right, all right, if you insist on doing this, at least let me help you.
Ross: But-but, Liams on my team.
(Rachel removes a paper on the floor which is covering a hole and gasps.)
Ticket Counter Attendant: (on the P.A.) This is the final boarding call for Flight 664 to Yemen.
Chandler: Janice! There you are! There you are! I had to have one last kiss, and also-also you said that you were going to leave right after I got on the plane!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachels, Monica has finally given up on her search to find what the light switch does and is now flicking it on and off aimlessly.]
[Cut to Chandler and Joeys, Joey and Phoebe are watching TV. The TV is turning off and on, and each time Phoebe is blinking her eyes like the Genie did. The switch obviously controls the outlet which the TV is plugged into.]
(Chandler and Monica both turn, take the rings from Ross and Rachel respectively, and place them on each others fingers.)
Chandler: Okay, a quick one. Come on hug it out. (Paul rushes over and hugs Chandler tightly.) Oh hey! There you go. (The hug continues.) Okay. (The hug continues.)
Ross: (on tape) You didnt do it?
Ross: (on tape) Hello! Can I get you anything?
Chandler: Did you do it on our invitations?!
Ross: (pause) Not on the ones we sent out.
Rachel: (on tape) Oh I wanted to.
Ross: (on tape) So we we both wanted to.
Rachel: (on tape) Oh yeah, sure.
Rachel: (on tape) Interesting.
Phoebe: Oh, you came on to Ross!
Ross: Aw come on, Mona Lisa?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is looking at the tape sitting on the counter as Ross enters.]
Woman: Sorry. We didnt hear you; were on our honeymoon.
Phoebe: (To Monica) I didnt see this on the menu.
Chandler: I had to! Okay, imagine you were married... and you found a tape of your wife in another guys' apartment... Wouldn't you need to know what was on it?
Rachel: WhHey, I just gave you peeing on a stick.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Monica are there and Rachel is arranging a bouquet of flowers, pricks her finger on a thorn, throws the bouquet over her head, and those you who are quicker than some already know that Monica is the one who catches it.]
Monica: Awww, come onwaitstop it. Okay, to Monica.
Joey: I set her up with this actor on my show.
Phoebe: We're so stupid! Do you know what's going on in there? They're trying to take Joey!
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it.)
Joey: Dude! What is going on?!
Rachel: Thank you. (She sets it on the floor and is about to stomp on it with her shoe when the rest of the gang jumps up and yells simultaneously.) What? (They all yell again.) You dont want to see this do you?
Monica: So I hide in the shower and the next thing you know theyre going at it right on the bathroom floor.
Joey: Maybe Monicas playing a joke on ya. Yknow? Getting her own husband a hooker, thats pretty funny.
EDDIE: Wha-, n-, no. I mean it's just a bunch of pretty people runnin' around on the beach, ya know.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his massage client is on the table and Ross is reluctantly starting his massage. He spreads some lotion in his hands, and doesnt like it.]
Chandler: (happily) Im off the list. (Sits on the couch.)
(They both start speaking Italian to each other, and since I'm not Italian and don't understand one word, we'll move on to the English portion of the show. Not, that I'm English. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that I'm not. Y'know I think I should shut-up now and move on. Anyhoo, she says something about Joey being fat I think based on this line.)
(They sit on some front steps.)
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Ross: (on the phone) No-no-no, it's just a bit sudden. (Listens) No, it's great. Okay? I'm totally on board. I love you too, all righty. Bye. (Hangs up.)
Monica: Come on! I really need your help!
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
(Theres a knock on the door.)
MR. GELLER: I may not know any of your flash dances but I'm no slouch on the dance floor.
(Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe start to pick through the lasagne as there's a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
(Theres a knock on the door.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are on the couch as Joey and Ross enter.]
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Joey: Well I can promise you, at least one person will be crying. (Points to himself) Im an actor, and any actor worth himself can cry on cue. (snaps fingers)
Joey: Pheebs, you gotta stop this, I working on commission here.
Rachel: Oh really? So youre saying they just slid out of your bottom drawer, crawled across the floor, then jumped on to my desk?! (I think Dogbert should have a line here.)
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
The Museum Official: (on machine) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
Chandler: That means nothing to me. (To Ross) Come on!
Marc: I am so sorry. The doctor insisted on closing the curtain for the exam.
(He starts to exit, but Chandler tries to stop him by climbing on his back and grabbing hold of the foosball table.)
Joey: I mean come on you guys! My own TV show? I just dont know if Im good enough.
JOEY: Maybe he, uhh... drives his car on the other side of the road, if ya know what I mean.
Ross: Come on, who are we kidding? Im doody. Please? Shes watchin.
[Scene: An airport in London, Ross is waiting for Emily to show up to go on their honeymoon and sees Rachel walking past.]
Referee: Here we go gentlemen, here we go! (to Tank Abbott) Are you ready? (He nods, and takes out his teeth) (to Pete) Are you ready? (Pete nods, Yes.) Lets get it on!!
[Scene: Rachels bedroom, shes pacing as Ross knocks on her door and opens it a little to stick his hands in.]
Monica: So, you think you'll do it on his couch?
Joey: Huh, Rach I got to say its gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
Ross: Know whatIf somebody doesnt tell me whats going on right now
Monica: What about your breath?! (Breathes on him.)
Phoebe: No, I know what a silent is I meant, whats going on with your hair?
Phoebe: Yeah. Youre just gonna knock on his door and change his life forever. Youre like Ed McMahon except without the big check, or the raw sexual magnetism.
Brenda: Whats going on?!
[Cut to later in that episode. Chandler is in his bathroom with Monica, and hes panicking on how far Phoebe is pushing him.]
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
[Scene: At a writer's desk. The writer is working on a script for Days of Our Lives.]
[Scene: Joeys sisters house, Chandler hits himself on the head three times and knocks on the door three times. Joey answers it.]
Monica: Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Phoebe: Hey! (Jumps on the bed with him.) Can we pick up where we left off?
Emily: Well, you have to understand how humiliating it was for me up on that altar in front of my entire family, all my friends.
Ross: and thats the story of the dreidle. Now, some people trace the Christmas tree back to the Egyptians, who used to bring green palm branches into their huts on the shortest day of the year, symbolising lifes triumph over death. And that was like 4000 years ago.
Brenda: I think I know whats going on here.
[Ross and Judy enter the living room. Judy and Ross sit down on the couch beside Jack. Monica and Chandler are sitting on the coffee table.]
Monica: Oh my God! Joey, what did you do after you threw her leg on the fire?
Rachel: (looking through her wallet.) Ohh, I just dont think I have enough left on my credit card.
(Monica gets down on one knee.)
Ben: Cause you guys were on a break.
(Theres a knock on the door.)
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, Ross and Mona are sitting on the couch.]
Joey: You know youve been spitting on me?!
Joey: Youre right. Maybe I shouldnt even go on the call back.
[Scene: The Wake, at the Gellers' house. Ross is lying on his back, with Phoebe squatting over him, checking to see if he's injured.]
Judy: (to Monica) I remember your first birthday! Ross was jealous of all the attention we were giving you. He pulled on his testicles so hard! We had to take him to the emergency room! Ross: (pointing the camcorder at himself) There's something you didn't know about your dad!
Chandler: Man, if you tried something like that on my birthday, you'd be starin' at the business end of a hissy fit.
Rachel: Yes! (She gets up and sets the phone on the counter without hanging it up.) Bye daddy. (Phoebe and her leave.)
(Theres a knock on the door and a handsome man enters.)
Ross: Can I ask you something? Have you ever had a guy have a crush on you?
Monica: Hey, the point is that he was at everyone of your swim meets and he was there cheering you on! Okay? Thats a, thats a pretty great dad.
Ross: You know, Barracuda was the first song I learned to play on the keyboard.
Chandler: Oh come on!
(Matt grabs his plate and takes some of whats on Rosss plate.)
Phoebe: Good. (After he leaves, she puts on Joey's gladiator helmet and checks herself out in the mirror) I should really start wearing hats!
Monica: Phoebe! Come on Im serious! I just got to talk to him about all this.
Monica: Cowboy boots? I've never worn cowboy boots in my whole life! (she turns on the video again)
Rachel: Look, um, I think we should talk about what happened on the terrace.
Phoebe: Oh, come on Will! Just take off your shirt and tell us!
Donny Osmond: Yeah! Welcome, it is Soap Opera week here on Pyramid, let's meet our contestants. First, Gene Lester is a database specialist, he's gonna be playing with "Days of Our Life's" star Joey Tribbiani! (Joey's amazed at the place and he keeps looking around till he realizes the audience is applauding him)
Danny: Come on, you got the shopping bags and the Sack's catalog.
Phoebe: (on intercom) Hey, do you need to get in? Here you go.