words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is sitting on the chair, and theyre all talking.]
Melissa: So last I heard you were gonna get married. (Grabs Rachels hand and notices that she doesnt have a ring on it.) (Sadly) Oh poor Ray-ray.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is working on the seating chart while Chandler looks on and Rachel reads.]
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
Rachel: He plays for the Yankees. Seriously, ESPN! Just once and a while, have it on in the background. (Chandler nods and Rachel grabs another tux) Ooh, this one was Pierce Brosnan!
Chandler: Oh, its not just that, I would be Englands most powerful weapon. Jet setting heartbreaker on her majestys secret service. A man who fears no one; with a license to kill. (Worried.) Would Monica let me wear this?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Phoebe are moving chess pieces around on the board and hitting the timer at random.]
Phoebe: What is this? Whats going on?
Rachel: Hey, come on! I had this friend from college and I made the stupid mistake of telling Joey that one time she and I yknow kissed a little bit.
Phoebe: (To Joey) Which means she had a couple spritzers and a quick peck on the cheek.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch reading as Ross enters carrying a garment bag.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is still working on the seating chart as Joey enters.]
Joey: Come on! Look just-just telllet her know that you really want them to be there. Lets not forget, this is a woman that has sent you many lasagnas over the years.
Joey: I dont know. Just uh, just tell em it was a mix-up with the invitations, orNo-no-no! Blame it on the post office. They hate the post office. And the Irish! But I dont think you can blame it on them so (He dials the phone and hands it to Monica.)
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Rachel: Remember?! Wecome on both had the sarongs on, and we had the-the coconut bikini tops
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is on the couch as Chandler disgustedly enters.]
Monica: How about you go put on your 007 tuxedo and Ill make you a nice martini.
Rachel: Wh Come on! Remember? We were on the sleeping porch! We couldnt stop giggling? And our coconuts kept knockin together?
Rachel: Yeahbut come onListen, Im sorry I dont want to make you uncomfortable, but I told Phoebe that it happened and she doesnt believe me.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Chandler are working on the seating chart as Ross enters carrying his tux around.]
Ross: Gunther. (To Chandler) Hey-hey! Why dont we put them on? Yknow get a picture of Batman and James Bond together.
Chandler: (standing up) Let me try it on!
Chandler: (trying on the jacket) Okay. Holy double-vented comfort Batman! (Finds something in the pocket) Whats this?
Rachel: What?! Wait a minute! No wait a minute! (She does so.) Okay? Look, that night was the one wild thing I have ever done in my entire life, and Im not gonna let you take that away from me! Okay, so if you dont remember that, maybe you will remember this! (She grabs Melissa and kisses her on the lips.)
(Suddenly, Phoebe leans in and kisses her on the lips!)
Chandler: Oh, come on! I dont care! Come on! Whose is it?
Dr. Long: (To Joey) Uh, if you have any questions, heres some information on Braxton-Hicks. (Hands Joey a pamphlet.) Oh and by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in. Youre gonna make a wonderful father.
Joey: (Voice Over) Previously on Friends.
Chandler: Yeah, I know, I-I wish I had too, but yknow I-I think this is a good thing. Y'know? Cause weve had our first fight, and now we can move on. Yknow, I know for me(Notices a pair of mens pants on the chair.) Nicks pants?
Ross: Come on Pheebs, its not that bad! Yknow most people would be excited if they didnt have to work for a couple of weeks.
Ross: Yeah, uh, uh, ok, there's this great rare bookstore on Madison Avenue. You know what? She loves architecture, you know what you should do? You should take a walk down fifth to the Saint Patrick's Cathedral and there there's this great little pastry shop that she'd love.
(Monica is looking on with a hurt expression on her face.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica is cleaning up, Chandler is sitting on the couch, checking the Job offers in a Newspaper.]
Ross: (on phone) Okay, Andr� should be there in like 45 minutes. All rightie, bye bye. (to Phoebe) Just easier that way.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Chandler are on their date with Janice and Clark, however Clark is a no show and Janice is crying the Mississippi River about it.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Joey is eating breakfast, Rachel has just gotten up, and Monica is on the phone.]
Phoebe: Well, maybe its so big because the house was built on radioactive waste.
MONICA: Okay, one more, please. Come on, I'm gonna get it in this time, I will.
Monica: Chandler? I was just in our bedroom and I found these (she holds the furry handcuffs) on my pillow.
Monica: Hey. It's him. (On the intercom) Who is it?
Ross: Oww!! Son of a...!! Ow! Come on!
(He goes into his room to try them on and closes the door.)
Mark: Why do all youre coffee mugs have numbers on the bottom?
(Joey gets the evil look on his face.)
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Ross is still going on about his first night with Carol.]
Rachel: In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into my office after lunch. He put them on my desk, and then I put a Post-It on it (Looks down onto her desk and finds the folder with the Post-It on it that contains the contracts she imagined she gave Tag) that said, "Must go out today." So you just keep looking in there! All right?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is returning from his disastrous weekend. He throws his bag down and sits down on one of the leather chairs, but he sits on something and picks it up and throws it away.]
Phoebe: Bye! (Phoebe goes over and joins Monica on the couch.) We said good-bye at the door so as not to flaunt our new love.
(They pause, and they the start kissing passionately, and taking off each others clothes, and they start to lie down on the pool table.)
Ross: I was kinda, supposed to be on TV tonight for The Discovery Channel.
RACHEL: Ok, we can do this now, can't we Ben? Yes we can, yes we can. [finishes the diaper] There. I did it. I did it. Look at that, oh, stays on and everything. Hi.
Monica: And! We also have speaker phone. (She turns on the speaker phone.)
(In the hallway, Ross all dejected, sits down on the step.)
Ross: Wait a minute! Were you on a poster for gonorrhea?
Phoebe: Cute naked guy is really starting to put on weight.
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (Stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Chandler: All right! Bring it on, you
MONICA: Why? It's not like I'm putting little nipples on them.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants.
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Pete is entering, Monica is on roller skates.]
Joey: No! Forget it! OkayI mean thanks, but Im done taking money from you. All right, I can take of myself. Now, whats next? Come on.
Pete: Come on, you gotta admit that our relationship is ah, is hitting a new level now. Cause you used to be like the chef, and I was the customer, and now were like this-this couple that fights.
Ross: (triumphantly) Im gonna be on TV!!
Joey: Yeah, the man wreaks! Smells like he went on a three day fishing trip and then ate some liquorice.
Ross: Eh, cause I knew that if I told you, youd make me go, and I knew you needed someone to be with you tonight. Come on. Come on.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler and Ross are in the kitchen, Rachel and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Phoebe is, you guessed it, still on hold.]
(Helens buzzer is heard on the intercom, so Chandler presses his button, too.)
Ross: No, no, I mean, I mean a thing on my body.
Rachel: (angrily) BACK OFF!!! (She starts banging on their door.) Get up! Get up! Get up! God damn it! Get up, get up, get up, get up, get up!!
Chandler: Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After its closed) I cant stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's hotel room, Rachel is still trying to get the ink off and Ross is on the phone to the company. Wait a minute, why exactly are they sharing a hotel room? Didn't they like break-up or something? Did I miss a memo? Or maybe, it's just foreshadowing things to come. Who knows? Maybe the answer's at the bottom of the page. Then again, maybe it isn't and it's just one of those things TV writers just don't explain. Anyhoo ]
Chandler: Okay, okay, here she comes! (Sits on the couch next to him.) How do I look? Do I look like a guy who doesnt want to get married?
RACHEL: Chandler honey, I'm sorry. Ok, can we watch Joey's show now please? [they turn on the TV]
Ross: Yeah, uh... and then I figured after you win, we could all go out to the balcony and see a night rainbow with gremlins dancing on top of it!
(Joey enters and he's on the phone.)
Rachel: Wow, you know, it's so beautiful out there. You always wanted to get married outside. Why don't you guys just do it on the street?
JOEY: No, I'm on right after this guy shoots himself.
Monica: Wow, isn't it ironic that David would show up on the same day that you and Mike exchange keys?
Gavin: Thank god you finally said that, I saw you make a note on your pad three hours ago. (Rachel throws away that paper) Man, I really bug you, don't I?
Rachel: (looking at the outfit) Got a job on a river boat?
Joey: (sitting on the sofa in front of the tv) Rach, come on! They are announcing the numbers! My God, I can already feel myself changing.
Kate: Right, at the end, you choked on a cookie.
Chandler: I dont know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. Shes saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to (Pause) Dollywood.
Phoebe: Okay umm, Id also like to try on the tiara. (The male jeweler hands it to her.) Oh yeah. Okay. (Puts it on.) (To the jeweler) What do you think, too much?
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, Joey stares at a picture of a bay on the wall. Janine comes out of her room.]
Pete: Ahh, Id throw another thousand on that.
Rachel: So whos idea was it to put everybody in the diner on skates?
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
(She puts her leg up on the chair and removes this huge knife from her boot to open the box with. The guys are shocked at the knife's existence.)
Monica: Hey, are we still on for tonight?
Phoebe: Hey!! (The bucket starts smoking.) The charity's on fire! Help! (Yet another guy walks by carrying a cup, which Phoebe grabs.) Oh good! Thank you, I need that. (She throws onto the smoldering fire. Suddenly the bucket erupts in flames.) Whoa! What is that?! (She sniffs the cup.) (To the guy.) It's nine o'clock in the morning!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is on the phone, Chandler and Monica are sitting in the living room, and Ross is in the kitchen as Rachel enters from her bedroom.]
Doug: There you go. (smacks him on the butt)
[Ross comes out of Rachel's bedroom in her bathrobe and heads for the bathroom. On his way back, Richard comes out of Monica's bedroom in her bathrobe.]
Ross: Well, hes finally alseep. About that ah, bump on his head?
Chandler: (going to the bedroom) See Joe, that's why your parents told you not to jump on the bed.
[Cut back inside, Joey is on the phone.]
[Cut to still later, Rachel has now resigned herself to move and is now helping Monica. Phoebe is still on the chair.]
Rachel: Y'know I dont, I dont understand guys, I mean I-I would never congratulate Monica on a great stew by y'know, grabbin her boob.
Joey: Yeah, maybe its like y'know, that jock thing. Y'know how football players pat each other after touchdowns. (pats Ross on the butt)
Rachel: Thats also the smaller piece. (Puts the piece onto a plate.) Okay, there you go. Enjoy your half my friend, but that is it. No sharing. No switching, and dont come crying to me if you eat your piece to fast. (As shes saying that she is backing out the door, when she finishes she turns around to return to her place, stumbles and drops the cheesecake on the floor.) Oh!!!!
[Scene: Ross's new apartment, he is showing his boss, Dr. Ledbetter his new place and new outlook on life.]
Phoebe: Oh Rach, good, listen isn't this perfect for me! (she's wearing another dress on a hanger around her neck)
Ross: Oh, thanks Gunther. (He takes it, hands the plate it's on to Rachel, sets it down on the table, and proceeds to pound it into oblivion while saying.) STUPID BRITISH SNACK FOOD!!!!!!!
Woman On Train: Oh, no. But its just a two hour ferry ride to Nova Scotia.
Rachel: Oh, come on!
Joey: Hey, everybody lies on their resume, okay. I wasn't one of the Zoom Kids either.
[Cut to the casino, Monica is walking through it past the craps table when she notices a chip on the floor. She picks it up and heads to the table.]
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Rachel: Oh, come on!
JOEY: Oh come on. Nobody likes two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better than the other and I wanna know which.
Rachel: Oh, look at the little cat! (a small kitten is on the roof behind Ross)
ROSS: Hello. Oh hi, are you on your way ove-. Oh. No, no, I, I understand, I mean a monkey's gotta work. No it, it's no big deal, it' not like I uh, had anything special planned. Yeah OK, OK. OK, OK, bye.
Phoebe: Well I want to get in on this. Hey Mon? I dont think I can help you after all, I didnt realize this game was on.
[Scene: Central Perk, the same scene is continued from before the break. With Joey, Monica, Rachel, and Chandler sitting on the couch.]
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
Monica: You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up. And then a pigeon ate it!
[Scene: Central Perk. Everybody's sitting on the couch and Monica is eating a chunk of cake.]
[Rachel brings a muffin to Chandler and Monica who are sitting on the couch.]
Monica, Joey, and Phoebe: [singing] I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find...
[Chandler crumples up his cigarette pack and throws it on the ground.]
Ross: Yknow what? I dont like you without mom. (To Joey) Come on. (Walks away.)
Phoebe: Its not in the apartment? (Monica gives a Come on look) Oh no. I cant believe this is happening again.
Phoebe: Well my guy is spectacular. Okay? Hes a massage client and one time umm, when he was on the table, I looked at it. And I mean all of it.
Joey: Youre gonna have to pee on it.