words in movies
JOEY: Alright, you're on. I can take two minutes out of my day to kick your ass.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Im going out with Eric! Ooh, this day is really gonna be so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Oh Ross, I cant make lunch. (Exits.)
Ross: she came and dragged me out of the labor room to ask me why Im not with Rachel.
Rachel: Oh not bad. Do you know that feeling when youre trying to blow a Saint Bernard out your ass?
Ross: I have no idea. I mean But-but I assure you I will figure it out.
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
Joey: Uh-uh nothing. I-I-I-I didn't want you to touch me cause I'm -I'm all sweaty from the workout. I better hit the shower. (Goes into the bathroom and comes back out quickly) Oh my God!
Krista: Here, I'll get it. (She grabs a napkin and tries to wipe it up. The thing that gets the rest of the gang going is that she's whipping awfully close to his crotch. In fact, she is whipping his crotch. Chandler's about to come out of his chair.)
(She sympathetically reaches out to fondle the inner thigh of his left leg.)
RACHEL: No, no, I mean, no, c'mon you guys, I mean, c'mon look it's only eleven thirty. Let's just talk, we never just hang out and talk anymore.
Chandler: You dont turn and slide, you throw it out! Im tired of having to get a tetanus shot every time I get dressed!
Monica: (removes them) Thats because I-I was just grabbing some things out of the dryer, and its static cling. Or maybe its just that God knew Id be running into you and saw an opportunity.
Joey: Fine! (He slams on the brakes, stopping the car on the bridge to the sound of numerous car horns.) Get out!
Monica: I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So, I've got a new plan now. Babies.
Ross: Oh yeah its fine. I guess the more muscles you have the more they can spasim out of control.
Monica: (Taking out her wallet.) Well good, here let me help you out.
Rachel: No! Put that box down! We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girls apartment! That is a boys apartment, its dirty and it smells. This is pretty. Its-its so pretty! And look, and its-its purple! And Im telling you, you with the steady hand, I am not moving, and now I have got the steady hand. (She holds out her hand, which is shaking uncontrollably.)
(Rachel sticks a marshmellow into Monicas nose. Monica takes it out of her nose by closing one nostril, and blowing.)
(She holds the phone out and starts taunting Phoebe. Phoebe calming knocks the phone out of Rachels hand and catches it.)
[From the background we hear a crash and Gunther comes running out of the back room, pushing people aside, reaching for Rachel.]
Ross: I am the guy who�s taking care of our baby while you�re out at bars meeting guys!
Ross: Come on guys, I-I really want this guy to like me. It-it would really help me out if you guys were here to make me look good.
[Scene: The ATM vestibule of a bank, Chandler is inside. The lights go out, and he realizes he is trapped inside.]
Joey: Ah, just cut me a little sliver. (Monica prepares to cut a little sliver.) A little bigger. (Monica prepares to cut a bigger piece.) Little bigger. (Monica moves the knife again.) What?! Are you afraid youre gonna run out?! Cut me a real piece!
Larry: Hey, buddy! (Flashes his badge.) Are you familiar with Section 11-B of the Health Code that requires all refuse material out the back exit?
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! I'll do it! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Rachel: Joey, the new chair will be here in an hour. Maybe we should actually move Rosita out of here. Yknow, start the heeling process?
Rachel: (grabs Chandler by the shirt) All right, listen, smirky. If it wasn't for you and your stupid balloon, I would be on a plane watching a woman do this (makes a gesture like a stewardess pointing out exits) right now. But I'm not.
Ross: So I told Carl, Nobody, no matter how famous their parents are, nobody is allowed to climb on the dinosaur. But of course this went in one ear and out.....
Ross: No, it turns out that the one from uptown was making a joke. But it was a different joke than I thoughtit wasnt that funny. So Im still torn.
Monica: All right, that's a little sketch of the cake, umm some sample menus, umm y'know what I thought we would start out with Tuscan style finger food, and for music, here's an alphabetized list of all my CDs! I've highlighted the ones that would go really good with the food.
Joey: No, Im gonna!! Thats right! Yeah, you made me feel really guilty about goin out with that girl! Like-like-like I did something terrible to you! And now Pheebs, youre doing the same thing!
Rachel: Oh no!!!! Oh my God!! This is all making so much sense to me now! This is why Adam Carter wouldnt go out with me! This is why Billy Tratt would just stay in this region! (Motions to her breasts.) (Joey has turned around.)
Rachel: Oh God, it says he was hit by an ice cream truck and dragged for nine-(turns over the note)-teen blocks. Oh. (They all come out from Monica's bedroom) Oh my God.
The Man: Were waiting for the candy. (Yelling at the door.) Bring out the candy!
Fireman No. 3: It's all right. It's all right. You don't have to explain. This isn't the first boyfriend bonfire that we've seen get out of control.
Ross: Hey. Hey, check out the flyers for the band. I made 'em on a Macintosh in the computer room!
Phoebe: My medallion number is, "Get out of the cab!"
[The stereo system booms out 'Billions of years ago. . .'. Ross gets up and changes it to music.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, later that night, there is someone knocking on the door and Chandler stumbles out into the living room, turns on the light, looks through the peephole, and opens the door.]
Joey: Oh well, you're timing couldn't be better. I am putting out fires all over the place.
Rachel: When she sees that youre gone, shes gonna know that I let you out, and that I was in here, and Im gonna get fired!
Rachel: Thanks, but I gotta go to work and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy.
Joey: (To Monica) Hey-hey-hey, I think we might find out the answer to our question.
Monica: Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. (Phoebe bursts out in a laugh)
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Umm, could-could I get a copy of that? Cause Carol threw it out, she lost ours. Shes such a scatterbrain, but man what a hot piece of ass.
Phoebe: Or, yknow, I used to beg for money. Of course it helps if youve got yknow a little of this (she sticks her chest out and shakes it) goin on. Wow! I still have it!
Monica: Get all freaked out because everybody was talking and just joking around about marriage and stuff.
Chandler: How... exactly are you pursuing that? Y'know other than sending out resumes like what, two years ago?
Chandler: You know, I don't mean to brag, but I waited tables at Innsbruck in '76. (dead silence) Amouz-bouche? (holds out tray)
Chandler: Well, my secretary is gonna be out for a couple of weeks. She is having one of her boobs redused. (Ross looks at her.) It's a whole big boob story.
Rachel: Yeah, maybe, but I dont think I even care. I dont think hes the one Im sad about. Yknow, I know that I said that I am totally okay with Ross getting married, but as it turns out, I dont think Im handling it all that well.
Ross: If you have to call me name, I prefer "Ross the Divorcer". It's just cooler. Look, I know my marriage isn't exactly work out. But I love to be that committed to another person. And Carol had some good times before she became a lesbian... and once afterward. I'm sorry.
Rachel: Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. (Rachel dials her phone and Phoebes bag starts to ring.) Oh, it does work! (Rachel grabs the phone and takes it out of Phoebes handbag.)
Karin: Actually, Im dating at all anymore. See, I figured out that I was only dating guys that were like yknow bad for me, so until I work that out
EDDIE: Hey man, check it out, I got some great stuff to dehydrate here. I got some grapes, got some apricots, I thought it would be really cool to see what happens with these water balloons.
Ross: Because he called here looking for you. So don�t tell me this...this kissing this guy from work is a one time thing,ok? You�ve been out there in bars and on balconies for over a month now. And you didn�t even have the courtesy to tell me.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is taking out the garbage as Phoebe and Joey enter. Phoebe gasps.]
RACHEL: It's just this thing. Every year we would go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks. Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big. My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side and my dad would be upset becasue nobody was helping and then when we did help he would scream at us for doing it wrong. But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up, you know, and it'd get really cold, and we would all just sort of smush under this one blanket. It never occured to anybody to bring another one. And now it's just...
{There's another continuity error here. Before Monica says I love you, Chandler's holding the vests so that you couldn't see the collar, you could see all three, and they were folding nicely. After she says the line and the camera cuts back to Chandler, you can only see two out of the three, you can see the collar of the top one, and it looks like it was folded sloppily, unlike before. Hey, you notice things while spending this much time on this!}
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Danielle: Well, I've been calling you, but it turns out I had your number wrong. And when I finally got the right one from Information, there was no answer. So I thought I'd just come down here, and make sure you were okay.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Chandler: Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.
Joey: (all excited) The Mr. Bowmonts here!!! (Jumps over the back off the couch and runs out into the street.)
ROSS: No, sorry I don't. Tell me why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right Phoebe? Then it's like, I don't know, havin' a bad hair cut all the time. Why's everyone staring at me?
Chandler. Well my boss and I worked out a deal where I only have to be in Tulsa four days a week, so the other three I can be here with you.
Joey: Ooooh! Freeze him out.
Rachel: I can't believe this. All I wanted to do was help you try to figure out what to do with your life and this is how you repay me?
Phoebe: Probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. (Chandler and Monica look surprised) Kind of what probably really means. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, oh, "Your mom probably won't kill herself," yknow? I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on-on "Probably!" Yknow? You gotta take care of yourselves! (She starts to walk out) In this world history teaches us nothing! (Exits)
Phoebe: Look Eric, turn around. (He does so.) Look, I like you, but it shouldnt be this hard. Yknow? This is our first date yknow? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand? and yknow first kisses and (He kisses her) second kisses. (Motions for him to kiss her again which he does and they start to make out.)
Monica: Dad, please dont pick your teeth out here! Alright, and if youre gonna put your feet up, why dont you sit on the-
(Chandler imitates retching and gets out of the chair.)
[Scene: Downstairs at Danny's party, Monica and Rachel are coming down the stairs and Rachel has on a coat to make it look as if she's just getting back. But just as they reach the landing they see Danny out in the hall talking to a guest, Rachel then quickly pulls Monica back up the stairs.]
ROSS: Ok, well, if you do take him out for his walk, you might wanna bring his hat, and there's extra milk in the fridge, and there's extra diapers in the bag.
Rachel: Hes downstairs getting the rest of the stuff out of the cab.
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket.
Rachel: I mean I think Id say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean Im standing there with this charming, cute guy, whos asking me to go out with him, which Im allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like Id be cheating on Ross or something.
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
Helena: I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and (She holds the mike out to the audience.)
Monica: Okay. Umm, y'know, I dont think, I dont think I told you this, but umm, I just got out of a really serious relationship.
Chandler: It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug I told him that you and I split up. So then he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then when I wouldnt give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird!
Monica: No kidding, out of towners huh? What did you tell em?
PHOEBE: [Standing in living room with Chandler and Joey. She pulls a huge bathing suit out of a box] Hey, Mon, what is this?
Joey: Well, you shouldve told me that before, Im not a mind reader. Hey, were out of beer. Im going to Monicas.
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
Joey: Umm, y'know how the other day you were talking about how you didn't get to go to London and how you were kinda feeling left out?
Joey: I know! I know! It turns out that one of the casting ladies has actually seen me in a play, so I steered clear of her
Chandler: All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole!"
Chandler: So Rachels all moved out huh? How are you taking it?
Phoebe: Well, she's gonna look all washed out next to the other contestants!
The Fan: Can-can I get your autograph, Im your biggest fan. (Holds out a napkin and a pen.)
Phoebe: Well, I told you I had to spend all the day clearing out stuff, so Mike could move in.
Ross: Perhaps I can persuade you. What if you can give your son this (Takes a huge egg out of his back) genuine pterodactyl egg (whispers) replica.
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Chandler: Can we read it? Can you print out another copy?
Kori: I thought so many times about calling him and asking him out. I guess I really missed my chance.
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]
Ross: Oh for cryin out loud! (He storms out.)