words in movies
Ross: Y'know what? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no divorces in '99!
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
Ross: I just asked that girl out.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Joey: Hey, Pheebs! Check-check this out. (Holds up his hand in one of Phoebe's chords.)
(They all speak at once in general approval of his pants selection; Joey asks where he got them. I can't pick out the rest of it.)
Chandler: Oh come on!! (Storms out.)
Ross: (talking to himself) My God! These pants are burning up! (He's still wearing the leather pants.) (She snuggles closer.) Oh come on, she wants to snuggle now! What is she trying to kill me? It's like a volcano in here! (Out loud.) Are you hot?
[Cut to Elizabeth Hornswoggle's bathroom, Ross frantically pulls his shirt out and drops his pants. He exhales in sheer ecstasy as the coolness of the bathroom envelops his legs. He sits on the cast iron bathtub, again gasping in pleasure. He next grabs a magazine and starts to blow air on his exposed legs, but that doesn't work the way he wants it to. So he throws the magazine down, looks around for another idea, and finds one. He jumps up and hops to the sink. He turns on the water and starts to splash some on his legs, cooling them further.]
Joey: (looking in the Yellow Pages) Look, maybe I need to try a real teacher! Right here! Here! Andy Cooper, he teaches guitar and look ooh, there's a nice picture of him with a little kid and THE KID'S GOT A GUITAR!!!!!! (Storms out.)
Phoebe: Oh, fine! Take his side! (Storms out.)
Joey: (To Ross) Uh, Rachel's here, so good luck man, let me know how it works out. (He hangs up the phone and strands Ross in the bathroom.)
Joey: Oh well, you're timing couldn't be better. I am putting out fires all over the place.
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Elizabeth: Ross, umm, you've been in there for a long time. I'm starting to get kinda freaked out.
Ross: All right, I'm coming out. Hey, can you turn the lights off.
Joey: Wow! Cool! (He takes the guitar, stands up, and goes to play a note. However, while strumming it, he knocks it out of his hands and it bounces off the table and lands on the floor. Phoebe just stares at the guitar.)
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
Rachel: I'm not gonna tell you, but if you found out on your own, that would be okay and then we could talk about it. Right?
Monica: All right, that's a little sketch of the cake, umm some sample menus, umm y'know what I thought we would start out with Tuscan style finger food, and for music, here's an alphabetized list of all my CDs! I've highlighted the ones that would go really good with the food.
Joey: No, Im gonna!! Thats right! Yeah, you made me feel really guilty about goin out with that girl! Like-like-like I did something terrible to you! And now Pheebs, youre doing the same thing!
Rachel: Oh no!!!! Oh my God!! This is all making so much sense to me now! This is why Adam Carter wouldnt go out with me! This is why Billy Tratt would just stay in this region! (Motions to her breasts.) (Joey has turned around.)
Rachel: Oh God, it says he was hit by an ice cream truck and dragged for nine-(turns over the note)-teen blocks. Oh. (They all come out from Monica's bedroom) Oh my God.
The Man: Were waiting for the candy. (Yelling at the door.) Bring out the candy!
Fireman No. 3: It's all right. It's all right. You don't have to explain. This isn't the first boyfriend bonfire that we've seen get out of control.
Ross: Hey. Hey, check out the flyers for the band. I made 'em on a Macintosh in the computer room!
Phoebe: My medallion number is, "Get out of the cab!"
[The stereo system booms out 'Billions of years ago. . .'. Ross gets up and changes it to music.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, later that night, there is someone knocking on the door and Chandler stumbles out into the living room, turns on the light, looks through the peephole, and opens the door.]
Rachel: When she sees that youre gone, shes gonna know that I let you out, and that I was in here, and Im gonna get fired!
Rachel: Thanks, but I gotta go to work and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy.
Joey: (To Monica) Hey-hey-hey, I think we might find out the answer to our question.
Monica: Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. (Phoebe bursts out in a laugh)
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Umm, could-could I get a copy of that? Cause Carol threw it out, she lost ours. Shes such a scatterbrain, but man what a hot piece of ass.
Phoebe: Or, yknow, I used to beg for money. Of course it helps if youve got yknow a little of this (she sticks her chest out and shakes it) goin on. Wow! I still have it!
Monica: Get all freaked out because everybody was talking and just joking around about marriage and stuff.
Chandler: How... exactly are you pursuing that? Y'know other than sending out resumes like what, two years ago?
Chandler: You know, I don't mean to brag, but I waited tables at Innsbruck in '76. (dead silence) Amouz-bouche? (holds out tray)
Chandler: Well, my secretary is gonna be out for a couple of weeks. She is having one of her boobs redused. (Ross looks at her.) It's a whole big boob story.
Rachel: Yeah, maybe, but I dont think I even care. I dont think hes the one Im sad about. Yknow, I know that I said that I am totally okay with Ross getting married, but as it turns out, I dont think Im handling it all that well.
Ross: If you have to call me name, I prefer "Ross the Divorcer". It's just cooler. Look, I know my marriage isn't exactly work out. But I love to be that committed to another person. And Carol had some good times before she became a lesbian... and once afterward. I'm sorry.
Rachel: Umm, okay. But while you dial, let me show you the features of my new ringing handbag. (Rachel dials her phone and Phoebes bag starts to ring.) Oh, it does work! (Rachel grabs the phone and takes it out of Phoebes handbag.)
Karin: Actually, Im dating at all anymore. See, I figured out that I was only dating guys that were like yknow bad for me, so until I work that out
EDDIE: Hey man, check it out, I got some great stuff to dehydrate here. I got some grapes, got some apricots, I thought it would be really cool to see what happens with these water balloons.
Ross: Because he called here looking for you. So don�t tell me this...this kissing this guy from work is a one time thing,ok? You�ve been out there in bars and on balconies for over a month now. And you didn�t even have the courtesy to tell me.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is taking out the garbage as Phoebe and Joey enter. Phoebe gasps.]
RACHEL: It's just this thing. Every year we would go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks. Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big. My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side and my dad would be upset becasue nobody was helping and then when we did help he would scream at us for doing it wrong. But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up, you know, and it'd get really cold, and we would all just sort of smush under this one blanket. It never occured to anybody to bring another one. And now it's just...
{There's another continuity error here. Before Monica says I love you, Chandler's holding the vests so that you couldn't see the collar, you could see all three, and they were folding nicely. After she says the line and the camera cuts back to Chandler, you can only see two out of the three, you can see the collar of the top one, and it looks like it was folded sloppily, unlike before. Hey, you notice things while spending this much time on this!}
(Suddenly the doors burst open, and ROSS AND RACHEL COME OUT ARM-IN-ARM!!!!! And Rachel's carrying a bouquet!!! THEY GOT MARRIED!!!!)
Danielle: Well, I've been calling you, but it turns out I had your number wrong. And when I finally got the right one from Information, there was no answer. So I thought I'd just come down here, and make sure you were okay.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
Chandler: Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.
Joey: (all excited) The Mr. Bowmonts here!!! (Jumps over the back off the couch and runs out into the street.)
ROSS: No, sorry I don't. Tell me why would anyone pay someone to scar their body for life? What if it doesn't come out right Phoebe? Then it's like, I don't know, havin' a bad hair cut all the time. Why's everyone staring at me?
Chandler. Well my boss and I worked out a deal where I only have to be in Tulsa four days a week, so the other three I can be here with you.
Joey: Ooooh! Freeze him out.
Rachel: I can't believe this. All I wanted to do was help you try to figure out what to do with your life and this is how you repay me?
Phoebe: Probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. (Chandler and Monica look surprised) Kind of what probably really means. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, oh, "Your mom probably won't kill herself," yknow? I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on-on "Probably!" Yknow? You gotta take care of yourselves! (She starts to walk out) In this world history teaches us nothing! (Exits)
Phoebe: Look Eric, turn around. (He does so.) Look, I like you, but it shouldnt be this hard. Yknow? This is our first date yknow? First dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and Ooh, he just touched my hand, did he mean to touch my hand? and yknow first kisses and (He kisses her) second kisses. (Motions for him to kiss her again which he does and they start to make out.)
Monica: Dad, please dont pick your teeth out here! Alright, and if youre gonna put your feet up, why dont you sit on the-
(Chandler imitates retching and gets out of the chair.)
[Scene: Downstairs at Danny's party, Monica and Rachel are coming down the stairs and Rachel has on a coat to make it look as if she's just getting back. But just as they reach the landing they see Danny out in the hall talking to a guest, Rachel then quickly pulls Monica back up the stairs.]
ROSS: Ok, well, if you do take him out for his walk, you might wanna bring his hat, and there's extra milk in the fridge, and there's extra diapers in the bag.
Rachel: Hes downstairs getting the rest of the stuff out of the cab.
Janice: Oh my Gawd, I-I understand. I-I am so sorry, Ill go. (Starts for the door.) Good-bye Monica (hugs her), I wish you a lifetime of happiness with him. Chandler, (hugs him) you call me when this goes in the pooper. (Hurries out.)
Chandler: Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket.
Rachel: I mean I think Id say no to anybody right now. (Hearing this Gunther swoops back to cleaning tables.) Oh, but it was so strange. I mean Im standing there with this charming, cute guy, whos asking me to go out with him, which Im allowed to do, and I felt guilty. Y'know, like Id be cheating on Ross or something.
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
Helena: I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and (She holds the mike out to the audience.)
Monica: Okay. Umm, y'know, I dont think, I dont think I told you this, but umm, I just got out of a really serious relationship.
Chandler: It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug I told him that you and I split up. So then he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then when I wouldnt give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird!
Monica: No kidding, out of towners huh? What did you tell em?
PHOEBE: [Standing in living room with Chandler and Joey. She pulls a huge bathing suit out of a box] Hey, Mon, what is this?
Joey: Well, you shouldve told me that before, Im not a mind reader. Hey, were out of beer. Im going to Monicas.
Ross: Fine! Its your life! (Starts to storm out mad about his failed attempt at the manipulation of his best friend and sister, but stops and tries one last time.) I just dont want to see you guys break up! Which you will do if you move in together, (Monica and Chandler just stare at him.) but thats what you want, theres nothing I can do. (Opens the door and tries one more time.) DONT DO IT!!!!! (Finally leaves.)
Joey: Umm, y'know how the other day you were talking about how you didn't get to go to London and how you were kinda feeling left out?
Joey: I know! I know! It turns out that one of the casting ladies has actually seen me in a play, so I steered clear of her
Chandler: All right, you will notice that I am fully dressed. I, in turn, have noticed that you are not. So in the words of A. A. Milne, "Get out of my chair, dillhole!"
Chandler: So Rachels all moved out huh? How are you taking it?
Phoebe: Well, she's gonna look all washed out next to the other contestants!
The Fan: Can-can I get your autograph, Im your biggest fan. (Holds out a napkin and a pen.)
Phoebe: Well, I told you I had to spend all the day clearing out stuff, so Mike could move in.
Ross: Perhaps I can persuade you. What if you can give your son this (Takes a huge egg out of his back) genuine pterodactyl egg (whispers) replica.
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Kori: I thought so many times about calling him and asking him out. I guess I really missed my chance.
Chandler: Can we read it? Can you print out another copy?
Ross: Oh for cryin out loud! (He storms out.)
Frank: I can't believe there's somebody coming out of you right now. There's somebody coming out of you! Is it? Is it? It's my son.
Rachel: Oh my God, Oh my God, here comes Ross. He's gonna flip out.
Chandler: Okay. (They switch places and Chandler gets out a credit card.) So uh, Ross is kinda bummed huh?
Chandler: Uh then there was that dialect coach who helped you with that play where you needed a southern accent. Which after twenty hours of lessons still came out Jamaican.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day. Monica is coming out of the bathroom carrying her cleaning gear.]
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]
Joey: (to Ross) Hey! Here's the birthday boy! Ross, check it out: hockey tickets, Rangers-Penguins, tonight at the Garden, and we're taking you.
Cashier: Why dont you fill out this address card. (Hands him one.)
Phoebe: It's just my knitting that's all! (A dog sticks its head out of Phoebe's bag. Everyone looks puzzled.) Yes! I knit this. I'm very good.
Joey: (To Ross) I think we gotta end the freeze out.
Ross: Look, dont worry about me. Okay? Ill just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. Ill uh, Ill be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
Carol: You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you.
Rachel: I dont understand! Last time you went out with her you said she was a big, dull dud.
Monica: (visibly upset) She picked Rachel. I mean, she tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel.
Chandler: (To Chandler) Im out of words. Should I just say the whole thing again?
Doug: Of course, you did. Forgot something else too ya bastard! (smacks him on the butt) (to Chandler) Well, what about you? Youre not feeling left out or anything are ya?
Ross: What? Oh, okay. Wait here. (Goes to get it, but before he gets there Aunt Millie sits down on it forcing him to pull it out from behind her which gets her attention.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still looking out the window as Joey enters.]
CHANDLER: Hey. Well, you will all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. This woman, Alison, from work. She's great. She's pretty, she's smart. And uh, I've been holding off on asking her out in the past, because she has an unusually large head. But, I'm not gonna let that stuff hang me up anymore. Look at me. I'm growing.
Joey: Youre right. Youre right. I-Ill go tell her now before Ross finds out and Ill be gentle. I can do that. I am a gentle person. Oh, by the way. Two people screwing in there (Points to the closet Chandler and Monica were in) if you want to check that out.
CHAN: All right, check out this bad boy. 12 megabytes of ram. 500 megabyte hard drive. Built-in spreadsheet capabilities and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 b.p.s.
Joey: Well, why dont you tell me what youre supposed to be! Huh? Because I sure as hell cant figure it out! I talk to you and its nothin. You look at me, and nothin. (He kisses her, more passionately this time) Nothing.
Joey: Back when you and Rachel were together, if Chandler had kissed her, would you hear him out?
Chandler: It's ok, it's ok. You know what? (Takes out his mobile) I'll just call the agency and tell them to throw out the letter. (starts dialing)
PHOEBE: Oh yes. Oh and, the part about how they're always like drinking from out pool of inner power, but God forbid we should take a sip.
Chandler: I can not believe that I am going out with someone that is getting divorced. I'm such a grown up.
Ross: Sending out a holiday card, together, I mean I just dont know if were really quite there yet.
Terry: Here are the audition scenes. (Holds out the script.)
Rachel: No! Im not! I-I-I just think its wrong! Its-its that ImHere I am about to pop and hes out picking up some shop girl at Sluts R Us!
Monica: I mean, all Im asking for is just a little emotion! Is that too much to ask after six years?! I mean what? Are-are-are Rachel and I not as close as you guys?! I mean do we not have as much fun?! Dont I deserve a few tears?!! I mean we-we told Joey, he cried his eyes out!
Monica: (rolling towards the office) Im quitting!! Woo-hoo! (She rolls through a doorway and out of sight. We then hear a big crash, and see Monica roll past the door the other way.) Im okay!! Im all right!!
Monica: But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do.